The reason Anthony always fucks up his career/loses his Twitter/assaults his mentally incompetent girlfriend/gets arrested during a national holiday.

72  2019-09-01 by McGowan9

A regular day for Anthony starts with waking up at 2.30 p.m. He cracks his first Bud light not long after that. Mondays to Thursdays 4-6 p.m. he has his awful excuse for a show, after which the real drinking begins. The benzos probably make their first appearance around 9/10 p.m. Then comes the all-nighters filled with twitter rants, faggot karaoke, losing at online video games and re-runs of 50 year old sitcoms. He passes out at 6 in the morning, so as to get a decent days sleep before doing his show the next day, with zero prep of course.

Fridays to Sundays are basically the same, with simply more drinking between 4-6.

During the holidays, all bets are off and that miniscule amount of discipline disappears. The xanax is getting liberally popped by mid-afternoon and even a hardened boozebag like Nana is fucked up by sundown. Then it's blackout time. It's almost a given that he has no actual memories from the Bitey McRib Cracker night.

Tl;dr - Anthony is a full-time and desperate alcoholic and drug addict.

31 comments

1  smashthafunk 2019-09-01

He's also secretly gay

1  McGowan9 2019-09-01

Of course. That's why he can't be alone with his thoughts or face any emotions without being shitfaced.

1  985x 2019-09-01

This is why he drinks. It was never for fun. It was to forget. Forget free basing with his family, getting diddled by his older brother, watching his older brother grope his sister, the gay blowjobs he used to get in his tree house, the cross country trip his brother took him on to smuggle drugs, the time he married his brother's girlfriend, blowing an easy career that let him live an easy life, getting caught fucking teenagers by his girlfriend, getting caught buying iPads for little girls, getting caught buying tits for a tranny, ignoring his mother while she died alone, and the countless illegal images of children he's viewed over the years. Must be tough.

1  Sueable 2019-09-01

I'm calling it now Coleen caller of duh day!

We got Anthonys cat on duh line.

What ya got for us today Beav?

1  Single_Action_Army 2019-09-01

meow

1  JoeCumiaWearsDIAPERS 2019-09-01

I'd drink like Nana too if I had to try to forget all that stuff!

1  Boxocox696969 2019-09-01

Can we sticky this on sidebar for the week this sub has left?

1  redditsipowillsuck 2019-09-01

I don't think Anthony could meditate for more than 4 seconds.

1  imnotgood 2019-09-01

America's worst kept secret

1  Audibledogfarts 2019-09-01

secretly?

1  Kurt_Love 2019-09-01

So true. He also had the super slurring drunk July 4th weekend where he assaulted a retard on camera yelling nigger, told his 60 year old cousin (and her cousin) he wanted to fuck her on camera leading to cringe compilation fame, and made out with a 15 year old on camera.

1  McGowan9 2019-09-01

Don't forget his fag voice coming out after a few too many 1970s housewife beers

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l0aVWg89Rkc&t=1s

1  Kurt_Love 2019-09-01

Then re told the weekend on o&a as if he was in control and was nice to Bobo after he threw up. He panicked when he found out Big A had posted videos from the weekend though.

1  McGowan9 2019-09-01

At heart he is still the pencil necked craterface fag who Boomer beat the shit out of in junior high. As a result he bullies the one person he can: a literal retard.

1  Kenn_Kennnerson 2019-09-01

I still can't believe that isn't doctored

1  McGowan9 2019-09-01

That is who he really is, underneath all the half-hearted bluster and fake machismo. Just a lisping, whiny faggot. His dad was right to fear for his masculinity, he's a total queer.

1  JoeCumiaWearsDIAPERS 2019-09-01

Nana has been and will never be more than than the disheveled guy in that shitty white T-shirt that sprayed Bobo in the face with Windex. He pulled back the curtain on his "compound" parties and everybody saw what he actually was, which is a wet brained, lisping alcoholic surrounded by a bunch of diaper wearers.

1  PFCBloodFart 2019-09-01

Don’t forget he’s a kid fucker surrounded by other kid fuckers

1  HandsomeBlue 2019-09-01

He also thinks that eating a Twix bar and watching a Hitchcock film at 3:30AM is the "Perfect night" while looking like this

1  TheBravestButthole 2019-09-01

He's having a great time.

1  4stepsbackward 2019-09-01

Screech Powers is having more fun now than he ever had at Bayside.

1  Single_Action_Army 2019-09-01

Add a filter and that's a great primer for a creepypasta story

1  FedallahX 2019-09-01

This is completely untrue...he wrote a whole chapter on the biting WHERE'S MY GUN incident in his book....the COPS TOOK THE TAPES.

1  toe_trigger 2019-09-01

He's like a moderately wealthy lady di.

1  TaumpyTearsxyz 2019-09-01

Was

1  suirogerg 2019-09-01

And this ghoul had the nerve to harass rear admiral Diana Orbani.

1  redditsipowillsuck 2019-09-01

Sir Di

1  PhishInVa2 2019-09-01

Sir, die

1  satanssockpuppet 2019-09-01

And it all seems to go back to Obama being elected, which was when Ant went from being "happy to be here" to a bitter, frightened, hostile old racist, which led to in-studio friction which led to his infamous tweetstorm which led to getting fired which led to the persecution complex which became the lynchpin of his entire personality. Now he's steeped in drunken denial, pretending he still has a relevant voice but deep down knowing that he fucked everything all up over something that really had no effect on his actual life at all. Now instead of being a moderately popular radio host he's a Twitter addicted old drunk spewing his angry babble to an audience of no one.

If he had kept his paranoid race fantasies to himself and not lost his job he'd have been there when Opie got canned and he'd be hosting the Ant & Jimmy show right now. But he didn't and now he's just Nana, a giant fag being bounced from Twitter twice a week.

1  tjdon 2019-09-01

The science behind this is that you don’t actually get sleep when you are drunk or on drugs. The booze can kill the speed, ambien can kill anything but in reality, your body is fully awake trying to process the whole mess. If he goes to bed at 4 am with 8 beers in him, the first minute of real sleep he’ll get starts at noon. He’s miserable at 4 when he has to get his 2 shirts on and do a show. Days off are why addicts die. Their bodies need to sleep off months of abuse while the junkies see it as a chance to abuse themselves more.

I learned this in college when I came home and couldn’t get my ass out of bed without 14 hours of sleep. Cumias never had a chance to think about this. Mommy needed her crack so crack was thanksgiving desert. My mom made pies, which is why I’m a libtard.

1  Nezlo_Nuke_Em 2019-09-01

He 100% pops a Xanax as soon as he opens his crusty eyes. No doubt in my mind.