All 4.

Go through a short but crushing depression and spend the rest of your life thanking God.

I said my piece, Chrissy.

get clean and stay clean, maybe you can reconcile.

Women can be cunts for a lot of shit, not wanting to be married to a god damn junky is not one of them.

good luck.

But even if he's completely in the wrong and she's absolutely justified, why would you want to get back with someone who looked at you at some point and said to herself "yeah, not interested in you". He should fix his shit yeah, but fuck her too. Why do people always get drawn back into the same old patterns. It sounds like it would drive you insane, claustrophobic being unable to leave a room for years and years.

Just be alone for a while. It's like a good mind-douching out.

So you don't think it's healthy behavior to seek the approval of those who have turned their back on you?

How old's your gay ass? Oh and stop going about in pity for yourself.

What in shit's fuck do you want a family for. To take over the farming when you turn 40 and your back gives out? For the life of me I don't fathom you people. You should be jumping up and down that you've been freed from prison.

Stop being an attention seeking girl.

Get to the gym and start working out. Eat good foods and start fucking better looking girls. Problems solved.

Clean his room too, eh?

Like yourself. She doesn't want to be with you? Fuck her. Her loss. Give her the divorce, make it as easy as possible. Be polite, be mature, be cooperative and be planning your revenge the whole way. The thing that will hurt her the most is if you move on quickly and with an objectively better woman than her. So don't fuck yourself up with drugs. Work on yourself. Improve. Work out, dress better, get a promotion, whatever it takes. Then get a hotter, smarter, younger version of her, and someone who actually wants to be with you. But don't be out looking for it. It'll come to you if you do those things. Women can smell desperation a mile away, just ask Jim Norton.

Do all that then see your ex try not to have a fucking nervous breakdown when you bump into her in a year's time.

my chick broke up with me over “drinking” (which was pretty fair)

i didnt say shit, just got in my car and got a new place

that dumb bitch got surgery and is dating some chubby black guy

im drinking steel reserve

what im obviously saying is things get better

Lol I broke up with a girl and since she knew I hate niggers she started dating one (to make me jealous? I guess). He ended up giving her gonorrhea and beat her into the hospital lmao

Do you think shes being unreasonable not wanting to live out her days with a pathetic junkie who shoots up smack at the first whiff of trouble, what a fucking baby you are. Waaaah im grumpy, wheres my syringe honestly fuck you.

Hope things work out for you champ

"I wanted a family with her". Yeah, cuz that's just what this world needs. Weak-willed junkie trash raising children.

Can you imagine, "daddy, what are those black dots on your arms?" "Nothing Darlene, now go into the next room and further burden the taxpayer"

At least it's a white this time

Not according to our resident negress. According to her, he's yet another one of these faggots that has been messaging her with flirty DMs, and she says he's a black guy.

Disgusting

if you wanna fuck bams seed be in florida when shes off her fucking meds

youll be able to tell

You mean she liked you better when you were doing heroin?

It sounds like she did your potential kids a favor. You've got no business spreading your dysfunctional junkie DNA to another generation.

thats the spirit.. i like the cut of your jib sir.. i think you should date rape her brother if she has one

You should give me her number.

I like chicks on the rebound and she'll probably be coming into some money soon so she can pay for shit since I'm broke.

If she is just now divorcing him, odds are she's been emotionally committed to another guy now for at least three or four months.

Go to each divorce lawyer in town so that it's a conflict of interest when she tries to file!

now this is some good advice. I've heard of someone who did just that & it really did work

A,C, then D

If she's a cunt, consider yourself lucky. What were her reasons?

Hes a pathetic junkie, thats 7000 exceptional reason right there

Fuck her dad

I mean this is really the only viable option

we all got them at this point

his wife’s a whoooore

boohoo, join the 50% of married people and get over yourself

No shit, it's not the fucking end of the world. Just go out and do what other divorced guys do, go out and find someone 5 to 10 years younger.

why would one human care about another human like so if they have our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ waiting by to love and embrace you? There are millions of women to begin a wholesome family with in this world, yet there is only one Jesus to praise and worship. Make sure you know who and what is truly important before you begin to sob like an infant with a sucky.

77 Hail Marys, and an apology to our Lord.

She caught you in bed with another man .

Hey, ho, where you goin' with that gun of yours?

B, C, A, then D.

Feign understanding and start putting all her shit in a pile for her to take. Set fire to the pile and toss her in it. And then kill yourself to cap it all off.

Or rent a moving truck and drive off a bridge with her and all your stuff in it. If you have kids include them in the fun too

I had the same response as you except I would draw crude Arabic script on the side of the full moving truck and drive onto an active tarmac. Suicide by TSA Rent-A-Cop would drive home the fucking point to that bitch.

Post her nudes if you got em

we all got them at this point

his wife’s a whoooore

Tell her no like a man. Then pummel her face with your fists in case she doesn’t pick up on the point you’re making. Then I guess D.

Is it because of Furio?

If she wants all your shit burn the house down. Also find out who she's been fucking or has lined up to fuck and lure them together then run em over with your Prius.

All his shit? This dude isn't exactly Warren Buffett

Try to win her back, at least temporarily so you can get your ducks in a row and plan the perfect murder.

D

You can act like a man!

I say D

Living well is the best revenge, right gang?

Nice pep talk, stupid.

How much did the wedding cost you? My brother recently got married last year and I will laugh in his face if it goes wrong after the amount he spent on it.

You could make personalized checks with your dick pics as a goof when you pay her alimony.

Maybe she read your post history and thought better of a guy who posts "Joe Cumia is a Faggot" endlessly becoming the father of her children.

try barley soup

find a hobby

She’s doing you a favor. Wives are a fucking burden. Just tell her to get lost and pick up a new hobby.

The world needs more murder/suicides imho. The constant threat of it could save us as a society.

Jesselneck's new special touches on it

Why isn't killing just her an option? Cuck faggot, no wonder she's leaving.

Or E; think about the man who's going to be banging your wife now. Best wishes for the summers.

Killing a person renders you on a level with disgusting Patton Oswalt.

If she caught you with another man as many of us are suspecting, then we cannot blame your wife.

Her or our judgment is not for you to fear, only God's.

u/SoggyLeftTesticle, let me introduce you to the “Patton Oswalt Wife Correction Method”. So far it’s 1 for 1 in field testing....

If you’re going to kill yourself anyway at least go out with a bang. Liquidate everything, go to Thailand on a bender for a couple of months and bring back the hottest piece of ass you can afford.

The fact that you didn't already have a side piece to bounce back on kind of makes me feel like you deserve to be alone. Divorces don't come out of thin air, the warning signs are always there for years in advance. Should have been laying the groundwork down on her replacement for a while. I have no sympathy for you.

Let her go, have a period of depression/moderate drug use then get back on track. Hit the gym, eat well, stay hydrated, get plenty of sleep (not the nodding heroin kind). You be looking good on the outside after a month or two of that. Combine an attractive exterior with your inner turmoil/depression/addiction issues that will make you behave in a somewhat abusive fashion, you will be irresistible to many attractive women. Have sex with them. Enjoy yourself. After that, you make contact with some of her prettier friends. Women will always sell out other women for an attractive guy. Give them the impression you are opening up to them and/or confiding in them about what a rough time you've been having. Have sex with them. Eventually it will all come out in the open and your cunt ex will find out. It will kill her inside. It will be great. Not sure where to after that. Maybe option D.

C but film it. You will be immortal.

Sorry to hear it man, try to sack up and get your shit together. At the very least, it will annoy the shit out of her.

Harming her or yourself only lets Joe Cumia win. Do you want this man to win? https://i.redd.it/iv49a2fni6u11.jpg

Just look at him! He's going to write a Facebook post about you if you harm her or yourself! Don't let this man win.

At least now you get to sleep in a racing car.

Why did she leave? Is it because you werent a very good partner? If so, then stop doing that.

There are literally billions of women in this world. She is almost certainly not the greatest of them all. Better yourself and find another one. Its really fucking easy.

Or just give up all hope and kill yourself, but either way stop whining. Its really offputting and nobody really care about your relationship but you.

D