His sedentary lifestyle left him afflicted with erectile dysfunction

That was the opening sentence in their divorce papers

I'm imagining Trump tweeting this about Kim Jong Un, child.

He probably tells her that if his next book bombs then he can always go back to ripping off the elderly through insurance scams (allegedly). Gluttonous lump of shit (confirmed).

He really has a gelatinous consistency

He has the look of someone that only maintains a modicum of health purely from the luck of living in a first world country. A diet of beer and processed meat products mean he'll have a fetid stench leaking out his pores that adheres to anything he touches with the greasy skinbags that are his arms and hands. His sweaty corpulent ass enveloping the barstools at Hooligans will eat through the varnish and stain the wood a sickly yellow. Whichever barmaid draws the short straw will have to maintain a stolid outward appearance despite standing within gagging distance and trying to concentrate on his lengthy order, delivered while he stares unblinking at her. The excitement of having a woman close to him will elicit a bead of sweat that sinks from his forehead down his face before becoming lost in his neck folds.

Good God.

Its an excerpt from my upcoming book Gut Crashers, the sequel to Children I Like To Divide.

Sounds chilling. I can smell the book sales already.

Very well put.

He probably tells her that if his next book bombs then he can always go back to ripping off the elderly through insurance scams

Oh, like Jesus?

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for bratwurst, For they shall be filled, child.

This wife is obviously trying to understand how she got into this situation and if she will see better days.

If she does the reverse Patton she will

Well, according to him, they have separate accounts and he hit six figures on his own. Not quite sure why he's sticking with that one, it's abundantly clear that his books don't sell. His current one is constantly on sale, this upcoming one has been on sale for a while, and none of his books have even a hundred user reviews. As for critical reviews, I have yet to see a single one. How the fuck is he selling so many books if nobody is talking about them at all and they are always on sale? Is he somehow getting 50% of his sales, when no fucking author gets that much?

Narcissism comes from a place of shame.

I agree with you. I wager he was made to feel like half-a-man by everyone important to him, so he now grossly overcompensates.

I know it's not a good look but the fact he laid out two beer pong tables in the lobby of a Marriot, filled them with three stacks of his books and said "free copies of my book, I'll be at the bar if you want me to sign them" is a level of shame not even Anthony Cumia succumbed to

Only politicians running money-laundering scams make money selling books. Literature is showbiz; the talent gets paid last and least. A couple of my old friends are legit famous authors everyone knows and they're constantly off on tour—in their fifties—speaking at colleges and conferences and weird politicians'-wife cult events, to make "six figures" so they can keep their kids out of public school.

It's a ludicrous lie. Fat's writing makes him at most a couple hundred dollars a year.

That's kind of what I was thinking, looking at what percentage of book sales authors actually get, it seems to me like, unless you're JK Rowling or Steven King, the only way to make money selling books is to be a part of a scandal big enough that publishers are bidding to pay you upfront for the story.

My bet is that he counts property value as income. Property is probably inherited too. Based on google maps he lives in some upper middle class neighbourhood. Six figures is not impossible.

I’ve heard Adrienne has needed to resort to daily Kegel exercises to counteract the massive stretching her lady area has endured since find her true love. Allegedly.

Some say her orgasmic cries can be heard all the way to a certain bar in the Midwest where a closeted homosexual micropenis having plagiarist of sci fi fare cries himself into a drunken stupor while getting fatter by the moment off bratwurst. Allegedly.

She must hear about reddit alt-right online incels every day of her fucking life. Poor lady.

Better than HIV at least inceldom can be fixed.

Take solace knowing that Fatrick has to constantly patrol this subreddit to search for images to DMCA. Most of the posts being about how much of a fat pedophile and failed writer he is. Oh look another post about the man deep dicking his ex wife!

Don't forget the part where he swindles old people out of there money through insurance scams.

Poor Niki.

That's Adrienne. Niki is still suffering.

Wrong woman, stupid.

layabout

The fuck does that mean?