I also can’t sleep without the TV on full volume playing Aliens or Seinfeld reruns.

Scarier than Freddy Kruger

Then you hear that voice crack and you feel sorry for how badly that little girl got progeria.

Sinister

This looks like it's from the time when people used take family photos with their dead relatives

Funny. The Cumias still do that to this day, except they have added children with their iPads into the mix.

And their politics

His skin looks like the grandfathers in the Texas chainsaw massacre

He is so fucking ugly

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I used to host a popular and respected radio show with Jim Norton. Now I pay Dave Landau to laugh at my musings.

Respected? What show you talking about?

The OnA show. Fans and comics respected OnA.

This is a terrible perspective shot. It's like he's tall, but in reality he's 5'5, right?

Skin like a burlap bag. Hair like thinning pubes. Lips pursed and ready for action. The thousand yard stare of a man who knows he will suck a tiny tranny penis before the day is over.

If only you could go back and explain to 2006 Tony that in the near future Big A would be one of his closest and dearest friends.

So we're clear, you mean Bobo and Big A, right?

Close it was Keith and Joe.

It's so fucking weird that he's legitimate friends with Big A and Bobo. Say what you will about Howard Stern but can you imagine any universe where he lets Crackhead Bob and Wendy the Retard hang out in his posh Hampton's palace?

I'd kick it with Beet

Beet rules. You'd be a massive faggot not to hang out with him.

So Howard and his entire staff then?

Correct.

I be at the Hamptons a cuppala time.

Dr. Frankenstein created another monster.

Nice craters, stupid.

Nice doughy neck, stupid.

Ânțon Kumeșcu, before turning into Uncle Fester.

Holy shit.