Why do cocksuckers always have those big, sad eyes?

He looks like mr potato head

Ass rape

Has anyone ever tried a FOIA request for his military record? I want to know how many potatoes he peeled.

I did and he was dishonourably discharged for thievery.

I have the documents, Joe.

All of them.

Was sodomy on there too?

Ya really have to ask? He’s a Cumia, of course it was.

And for being a sexual deviant, I suspect.

That's unfair to speculate upon. The official reason given is "habitual thievery" but I think we can also safely assume it's also for buggery and sodomy. Sick and bad guy.

A while back on the old sub, there was a lot of buzz about reporting him to the Stolen Valor website. So he preemptively shared his military record in a tweet and, predictably enough, it was absolutely pathetic. He was some kind of mechanic who was never posted overseas and was only ever stationed in remote Southern bases. There was nothing close to any actual warfare in it.

Post em

Subpoena

"Private Cumia. mission report!"

"Sir, yes, Sir. All potatoes peeled, Sir."

"Good job, son. Do happen to know what the term 'McNamara's Morons' means."

"Sir, absolutely not, Sir!"

"Of course you don't. Now, repeat to me the two rules which you shall never break."

"Sir, 'Don't touch the rifle. Don't touch the granade', Sir."

"Very good private. If a man like you could ever call themselves a soldier, it would be now."

"What's the private's fifth general order?

"Sir, the private's fifth general order is to bake, fry, braise, boil, simmer, steam and sauté as prescribed by official United States Army recipes, Sir!"

"What's the name of the private's peeler?"

"Sir, the private's peeler's name is Charlene, Sir!"

I feel like Joe would have a male name for his peeler, maybe Charles? Chaz?

Lawrence.

THAT PEELER SOME KIND OF ROYALTY, SON?

He really does look cartoonishly stupid. Might as well have a giant 'D' on that cap.

You know he was strutting about on the 4th acting like his service had something to do with our independence....”thank me for my service!!!”

Totally

I'm sure that if he could fit his fat stomach and tits into his old uniform, he'd be in it every time he went to a store trying to get military discounts.

Thats what he does with his flea market hat and t-shirt he had on the peoples court. He will tilt his head and point at it with a smug look on his face if he feels danger.

He pretends he was this hulking biker badass. He weighs no more than 110 lbs here. Fucking pussy got his ass beat his entire life.

With those cocksucker lips he might've been able to "negotiate" his way out of a few ass kickings.

🎶This is my peeler this is my gun, this is for peeling this is for fun🎶