I'm gonna stay home and bbq hamburgers and shoot a few bottle rockers like a good American instead of going out and being made to lay on the ground at gun point by police like last year.

I too dislike police antics

Well they were in the right, I jumped out of a pickup truck that they pulled over for criminal speeding shirtless and covered in blood so I get it.

I thought you guys were allowed to drink and drive ? Seems a bit unconstitutional if you ask me .

I wasn't driving. My buddy got stabbed a bunch of times and we were taking him to the hospital recklessly. I just made the mistake of getting out first and yelling to them. After it was all said and done and they took me back to my truck and told me to go home so I guess we are allowed to.

You gotta carry your privilege card with you, son.

Well they wanted my girl to drive but she couldn't drive stick so they were like whatever just get this rusted hunk of shit out of the road. Think they were more pre occupied with chasing down the dude who was stabbing people at that point.

I'm going to try to choke down a piece of food along with my daily 3 gallons of vodka

Yeah, trying to cut back blows.

enough of pat battles cholesterol posts. couldnt pepper in some more references?

Gotta do the 7-layer diiiiiiiiip, brotherman

https://www.spendwithpennies.com/7-layer-dip/

Why stop at 7 layer? If you really want to diiiiip, brotherman, go big or fawkin go home:

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/1/28/14/enhanced-buzz-17357-1359401550-0.jpg

What about something like Fish and chips or maybe some beans on toast with a hot cuppa to wash it down with ?

Gay.

Nothing says party like beans on toast.

It's only for Englishmen when the food is prepared by a hairy Turk .

I am going to hang win a bunch of my friends at a bbq but they are all married and kids so that means I’ll be doing blow in the bathroom after I eat a bunch of burgers

Pat battles with choking on a bottle of bbq sauce

Pat Battle plz be my green

I adore unguarded piles of guacamole and bullshit

Joe Matarese is having a BBQ.

When you show up with a 6 pack, and there’s like, $700 worth of food

Image actually celebrating the "independence" of rich, land owning slavers. That's a yikes from me. Be better.

Real niggas be celebrating juneteenth I heard there’s a cookout at the compound

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

Is this a bit?

I’m going to ignore my family and go on a “date” with a woman who gets fucked in front of a camera for a living

Yeah make sure you got enough tokens this year or I won't even bother with the wig. Or the Hoover attachments. Ya big hunk o' lunk

Any links to this ladies work? For research purposes? Purely scientific.

working

In honor of my American grandparents and various cousins and relatives, I will eat a hot dog and shoot some bottles with my shotgun. Perhaps a Pilsner or two in the evening, nothing crazy!

Well Pat, I don't know yet but I'm thinking just a moderate 20k kcal at the most, not counting dessert. But you know, dessert's part of the meal.

Discount Giant Foods brand steaks for my aunt and my mom. Then after about an hour and a half I'll find some fake reason why I have to leave, at which point I'll return to my apartment to drink whiskey and play online rpg video games.