And I've been waiting for that seaman, for all of my life

face contorts like he's taking a giant shit

Now sing it using the word “ass”... sounds closer to the word “air”. More funny. Your parody writing skills stink. No need to thank me. You’re welcome.

You know all about ass from the Big Apple Ranch, isn't that right James?

You are nearly 70, spending your unemployed monday suggesting parody lyrics to a phil collins song about yourself.

Closer to 70 than 49.

Bleep bloop blorp,

Greetings fellow Netizen! I am a new bot that has been automatically summoooned because it appears you are attempting to correct someone else's grammar incorrectly, which makes you seem like a "double douche".

Your reply:

Now sing it using the word “ass”... sounds closer to the word “air”. More funny.

Utilizes the following incorrect grammar:

• Improper use of ellipses
• Improper use of independent clause
• Improper omission of a colon (not that colon, Big Apple Joe) joining two independent clauses.
• Improper comparative adjective

My Artificial Intelligence has scanned your comment and post history to inform a "character-appropriate" grammatic correction. Please excuse any idiomatic transcription errors as this feature is still in beta:

Here's how you correctly spell it, you fat leeching embarrassment excuse of a burden on society. Maybe if you didn't drop out of high school or ever worked a day in your life at a job or on self-improvement, you would know the correct way to correct the reply is:

Now sing it using the word “ass”: Sounds closer to the word “air”. Funnier.

No need to thank me. You’re welcome. If this has been sent in error, please contact my creator /u/YourMomsDeadInABox In the meanwhile, here's a silly ASCII cow to brighten your mooood:

          .=     ,        =.
  _  _   /'/    )\,/,/(_   \ \
   `//-.|  (  ,\\)\//\)\/_  ) |
   //___\   `\\\/\\/\/\\///'  /
,-"~`-._ `"--'_   `"""`  _ \`'"~-,_
\       `-.  '_`.      .'_` \ ,-"~`/
 `.__.-'`/   (-\        /-) |-.__,'
   ||   |     \O)  /^\ (O/  |
   `\\  |         /   `\    /
     \\  \       /      `\ /
      `\\ `-.  /' .---.--.\
        `\\/`~(, '()      ('
         /(O) \\   _,.-.,_)
        //  \\ `\'`      /
       / |  ||   `""""~"`
     /'  |__||
            `o

Thank you so much James. You are a music legend Mr. Hefner.

Hi Mr. James Heifer. How does it feel to have made a fool out of yourself big time once again and have nothing to say?

You've wasted your entire life.

James Hefner?! THE James Hefner?!

Retard.

Bovine faggot