If the handful of empty losers who actually pay attention to him had any genuine interest in his boring posts they might ask how the training is going. But as nobody on earth believes he’s an athlete and even his most dedicated mouth-breathers felt embarrassment every time he posted another delusional shirtless selfie, nobody ever has nor ever will.

I don't think that this Twitter obsessed, child abandoning sack of gelatinous shit realizes that we are the only people who genuinely care and keep up with the statements he makes.

Twitter is a dying platform, and he will never recapture the following or voice he had before. His followers barely care what he posts, and the only time he generates any real likes is when he is taking a safe position on a relevant topic, which naturally ages like milk. It's a daily struggle for him against irrelevance. This is best observed when he tries to make a personal post, and gets practically zero interaction.

Sorry, Patso. We're your biggest fans, and you are ours.

Author, stand-up, political firebrand, marathon-cheater, child-rapist....

Health at any size, child.

Don't forget his best ever time when he was still only 1 minute faster than 40 year old Oprah Winfrey.

The depths of your delusions really are astounding, child. No, little one, I have no plans to cheat at this half-marathon, or any others. I have never bragged anywhere about sub 2 hour half marathon times, because I have never run a sub 2 hour half. That's my goal, which I've been working towards for several years. My best time is 2:15, and yes, that was at a bibbed, matted, and timed race that your "friend" is free to inspect to his heart's content. It will show I ran the full race, slower than I'd like, but without cutting corners. Just like all the others I've run.

Listen, kiddo. I get it. You lack discipline and ambition. You would never be able to finish even a half marathon honestly, because you don't have the mental fortitude or commitment needed to put in the months of training towards even a modest goal. So you assume that everyone else must be cheating, just like you would have to.

As always, the demonstrably false things you choose to believe end up saying a whole lot more about you than they do about the people you're trying, and failing, to troll.

Quite a defensive word salad - the ONLY salad you'll ever near - for someone allegedly innocent of this allegation.

"Methinks he doth protest too much"

Also

"Methinks he doth consume too much"

You got called out, and your thin skin can't handle it. Die fat about it.

hey fatty! while you;re here: please address the allegations that your a racist pedo. the public demands to know!

seething

Tell Niki we said hi. That is, if she hasn’t served you the divorce papers yet.

Always sad when a married couple breaks up just before their 2 year anniversary. Or when the wife is pregnant with the husband’s first child.... 🤰🏼

Pat, I'm an experienced marathon runner, with multiple sub 3:30 marathons and can quote Jack Daniels from memory (the coach, not the drink). It really is an exact science now, and I can honestly say that 2:15 for a young man with no physical disabilities is a shit time even in a fun run. It shows a complete lack of investment in nutrition or training, which have predictable results on race time.

The fact that it's only one minute faster than Oprah Winfrey's is embarrassing. She was 40 years old and massively overweight at the time, but she had done the training so had earned that time. It was the best she was going to get at that point in her life.

If you had done the exact same half assed training but dropped 30lbs you would have had a sub 2 hour time, no problem. The rule of thumb is 1lb fat adds 2 seconds per mile. You look like you could lose 50.

All people like you do is increase the cost of entry for people who genuinely try hard. You keep the roads open for longer, you are more likely to need medical assistance, you use up more water bottles and snacks along the way. Either train properly, or just compete with other fat asses on strava.

If he responds to this it will definitely be "you've never ran a marathon, child."

It doesn't matter. There is so much scientific data available on the subject that putting a few vital statistics into a formula can predict somebody's finish time with reasonable accuracy.

He got really excited - momentarily - when you mentioned Jack Daniels. Then he was confused.

Thank you for your post. I try to be positive and support people with disabilities or people who aren’t in peak condition who want to try endurance racing, but it’s provable that people like L Ron Tubbard here are in it for the wrong reason, do NO serious training or nutritional work, and simply clog up the roads.

The worst is when it’s a multi-loop race and I catch up to these blubberbutts sputtering and moaning trying to finish a 10k when I’m on Mile 20 of a marathon working on a PR. I guarantee Fattycakes uses zero race etiquette and waddles his grimacing self down the middle of the lane, directly in the path of real athletes and runners. Fucking clueless and hateable.

His race face just gave me an idea. Ever noticed how he looks like Grimace from those McDonald’s ads?

He has a weird voice like Grimace, too

Dude you destroyed this fat liar. Well done.

The fact that it's only one minute faster than Oprah Winfrey's is embarrassing.

He said 2:15 was his best time. He ran slower than obese middle aged woman.

You’re a fat loser, Pat.

When you're a big fat fatso with a drinking problem, you don't get to talk about discipline. You want to wear many hats, and running marathons is one of them. But like most hats, this one cannot fit your fat retard baby head, because you literally cannot stop eating and drinking to drop some fucking weight to actually be competitive.

fuck up, fat boy.

I've run 4 FULL marathons in my life, child. All to raise money for charity instead of some vain attempt at self improvement.

If anyone here has discipline, its not you, Mr. Barley Could Finish a Half Marathon.

oh sweet doo doo child, your desperate attempt to cheat at the marathon is well known. This bitter, lie filled diatribe is just the icing on the proverbial cake, fatrick.

that was at a bibbed

There's only one thing Patso excels at when bibbed, and it ain't running lol.

But as always this is just typical Patso projection. You can tell how truthful this post is by the short story of lies it compelled him to write.

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Considering you’re here every day typing of novels, I’d say our “trolling” (aka honesty) is succeeding quite well.

Lol you lying loser! On your Instagram you couldn’t stop boasting about your sub-two hour finishes. I run so those crazy boasts really stood out to me. You’re being watched, Fatrick, and you won’t be able to cheat at a race again. It’s unfair to the other runners (not that you beat many of them, Mr. Eighth Fucking Centile!)

(I’ll pause while you, a community college dropout, googles ‘centile’. Then futilely googles the words in the definition. Then shrugs and gives up)

(it means you suck at running. 92% of the runners were at or better than you. At a race in Milwaukee.) 😂

Your projection is hilarious to me...you see, I’m a serious runner and not a pasty blob like you. Just LOOK at you...you can’t finish a half without walking, guaranteed. I’d be surprised if you could run a 5k without a few cheeseburger stops and supplemental oxygen. You can maybe hit a 2:15 - some fatties can reach that, like Oprah -but that’s doubtful for an older, overweight runner like yourself. Even if you did, bragging about it to your few engaged followers is bad form. Go do something noteworthy, then pat your self on your chubby l’il back, buddy. I’ll genuinely be happy for you if you ever do.

You lose, we win again.

Nicely put, however...point of order...he is Mister NINTH centile. Not eighth.

Give Patsmear credit for passing up the legless man and the lady pushing her child in an iron lung, child. He deserves it.

I stand corrected

You lack discipline and ambition.

Says fat, self-proclaimed alcoholic. The level of transparent projection in this novella is hilarious.

Nice wall of text, you fat, pathetic fuck. Your susceptibility to lazy trolling is fucking hilarious. This is definitive evidence that you have no life other than having pot lucks with other unfuckable losers and replying to us. Jesus fucking Christ you're sad.

Hey, champ listen up. We know this post about your failed attempt to cheat cut you to your core. You know how? Because of your reaction.

Listen, tubby. We get it. You lack discipline and ambition. You would never be able to raise a kid honestly, because you don't have the mental maturity or commitment needed to put in the years of work towards raising even a halfway normal kid.

As always, the verbal diarrhea you see everytime you responded to us winds up saying a whole lot more about you rather than us. The people who are trying, and succeeding, to troll you.

Adrienne was right to drop you like the wet sack of mashed potatoes you so disgustingly represent. Your demeanor and attitude proves that your child is better off with Jon raising her.

Understand /u/patrickstomlinson, sweet summer fatso child?

Hush, little fat one.