At this point he probably has to do heroin and cocaine just to dull the pain of that rotting mass he calls a face enough to get through another day of gambling and grifting.
That picture screams Xanax so since he is rich enough to get a prescription technically speaking this isn't illegal. Just let the man fucking do heroin in peace.
Same, its not like he has any life ahead of him, especially as repulsive as he is, he provided a lot of people with a lot of laughs for a long time, its clearly over for him, what the fuck does a court have to gain to not just let him be happy for the 6 - 8 months he has left? What does him being off drugs for the first time in 35+ years accomplish for anybody? He doesnt have a chance without basically the same replacement prescription drug versions of his usual ones, and they know that. Does he find a passion for water color painting and live a long healthy life as a community role model with a deflated whoopie cushion in the middle of his face? Just ridiculous
The pinned pupils are most likely from suboxone. Not saying artie isnt abusing a fuckload of different drugs, but suboxone is an opioid, and thus makes your pupils small. It also takes up to 72 hours to completely leave your system after your last dose.
The tests are for metabolites, and similar chemicals are "absorbed" by the same ones. There's no difference between positive results for heroin and [prescription junk]. It's why the poppy seed muffin defense is plausible.
Suboxone can "fuck you up" but it's nowhere near as good as heroin/pills. You can "nod off" on it and get itchy but it's not euphoric or really recreationally pleasant at all. Court ordered drug tests are sophisticated and can differentiate between heroin, oxy, suboxone, codeine, etc. They have to be, as many people on probation are also on suboxone and methadone.
Also when he had that hbo sports show or whatever with nick dipaolo, he was supposedly "clean" at that time and could get through the show without being a total mess, but you could just see it eminating from him that he was on a lot of sub
This is what life is like when you made enough money to tell everyone that was ever real with you to go fuck themselves, and replace them with people who will enable your every self-destructive whim.
Because addicts don't really get sent to jail anymore. They get varying levels of probation etc. If Artie was dealing he would be put away but that's it.
On top of that, there's the fact that if Retartie ends up in jail he'll last about ten minutes before he's off to the infirmary, where the prison medical staff will find around a hundred pressing health issues he needs addressed. It's easier to just give him probation and send him home to die, cheaper too.
If the smack doesn't kill Retartie, some sort of nasty infection will. He has a bad heart, diabetes and a mockery of a nose covering a huge open sore on his face. If he somehow avoids getting a hot bag he will eventually require major medical care.
IMO Artie needs to be placed in some sort of conservatorship, as he obviously can't take care of himself like a normal adult. Aside from the huge hole he's bored into his face, the guy can't comb his own hair or wash his own clothes anymore. He probably belongs in some kind of assisted living situation.
He had that Dan dude from his podcast doing his laundry. Artie would actually goof on him for doing the laundry! Now that Dan got the fuck outta there it looks like there’s no clean clothes, no clean dishes, nothing. Just a high end apartment with a coke head bum pissing and shitting in it. He’s living the life.
This guy gets it now. The drugs always win. You can’t beat drugs, you can just go back to who you were before you met them. Quitting drugs is like willingly handing back humanities only jet pack because your friends didn’t like you showing up with it at dinner parties. Artie won, he’s not looking to give up that extra bandwidth because without it he’s less than human. Keep it up Artie, you’ll be dead in 6 months but atleast you’ll die with a gimpy smile on your face rather than be someone who feels like they had failed somehow because they can’t watch their kids grow old. Artie is beyond saving, he knows that. Just look at that face. He’s incompatible with what this species finds useful or valuable. Ive never seen a smile more knowing
Somebody replied to him asking him to stop smoking so “we can have you for a few more years”, as if cigarettes are even in the top 10 addictions that will cause his inevitable death.
Look at Retartie, begging for kudos for managing to get through a comedy set and avoiding jail all in one day, like it represents a major Artie milestone. Maybe tomorrow he'll manage to get a haircut and wash his snot-encrusted jacket, then he'll truly be on the big comeback trail. Bet you his old girlfriend is kicking herself for settling for a guy with a job and a nose.
Adderall. It was in his system too when he popped in court, and he has a prescription so it's allowed. Which, it seems absurd not being able to get off coke if you're allowed amphetamine salts
55 comments
1 BelgiumJimmy 2018-12-15
The glow from his halo is very bright
1 McGowan9 2018-12-15
There's always a chance that his flushed complexion and relaxed demeanour is the result of a brisk walk home and a hot cup of cocoa.
1 I-take-beast-shits 2018-12-15
Agreed. Come on folks, for all we know his camera had the flash on and his pupils had to adjust accordingly.
1 GreekIsExtra 2018-12-15
At this point he probably has to do heroin and cocaine just to dull the pain of that rotting mass he calls a face enough to get through another day of gambling and grifting.
1 bonniesretardsister 2018-12-15
Why is he dressed like a Wet Bandit?
1 theZenImpulse 2018-12-15
Sticky*
1 Doc_McCoyXYZ 2018-12-15
Artie Snakes
1 theZenImpulse 2018-12-15
Why the hell is he dressed like a chicken?
1 Doc_McCoyXYZ 2018-12-15
And Bruce Wayne; why the hell are you dressed up as Batman?
1 El_Heato 2018-12-15
I believe that Judge is just hoping Artie dies already so he doesn't have to keep seeing him
1 of_lower_stock 2018-12-15
If he does die, that judge should be removed and charged. There's no excuse for giving this junkie cunt seven chances.
1 NguyenLevin71 2018-12-15
Every late night tweet from Artie has that “his last tweet” tone.
1 iWhoreSchortSchorts 2018-12-15
"Nine lives, never die, fuck a heaven, I'm still gettin' high. Nevermind, did I mention I'm fine?"
1 RayBottoms 2018-12-15
I won't be worried unless he tweets "It looks like she doesn't even have an ass crack, lmao".
1 mouthmouth18 2018-12-15
lol this line could be the last
one of these times it'll be for real. All it takes is some annoyed dealer and a hotshot
1 iWhoreSchortSchorts 2018-12-15
That picture screams Xanax so since he is rich enough to get a prescription technically speaking this isn't illegal. Just let the man fucking do heroin in peace.
1 sanfrancisco69er 2018-12-15
Same, its not like he has any life ahead of him, especially as repulsive as he is, he provided a lot of people with a lot of laughs for a long time, its clearly over for him, what the fuck does a court have to gain to not just let him be happy for the 6 - 8 months he has left? What does him being off drugs for the first time in 35+ years accomplish for anybody? He doesnt have a chance without basically the same replacement prescription drug versions of his usual ones, and they know that. Does he find a passion for water color painting and live a long healthy life as a community role model with a deflated whoopie cushion in the middle of his face? Just ridiculous
1 SpaceCaseBassFace 2018-12-15
The pinned pupils are most likely from suboxone. Not saying artie isnt abusing a fuckload of different drugs, but suboxone is an opioid, and thus makes your pupils small. It also takes up to 72 hours to completely leave your system after your last dose.
1 NguyenLevin71 2018-12-15
I think a lot of the times he was fucked up on the air, from Howard to TACS, was due to suboxone.
How does it work with court ordered drug tests? Does suboxone show up the same as H or opioids ?
1 Air_Rangoon 2018-12-15
The tests are for metabolites, and similar chemicals are "absorbed" by the same ones. There's no difference between positive results for heroin and [prescription junk]. It's why the poppy seed muffin defense is plausible.
1 LiberalPussy 2018-12-15
Opium, Elaine
1 SpaceCaseBassFace 2018-12-15
Suboxone can "fuck you up" but it's nowhere near as good as heroin/pills. You can "nod off" on it and get itchy but it's not euphoric or really recreationally pleasant at all. Court ordered drug tests are sophisticated and can differentiate between heroin, oxy, suboxone, codeine, etc. They have to be, as many people on probation are also on suboxone and methadone.
1 duroSIG556R 2018-12-15
it has to be specifically tested for. the guy should just get on methadone, or something.
1 sanfrancisco69er 2018-12-15
Also when he had that hbo sports show or whatever with nick dipaolo, he was supposedly "clean" at that time and could get through the show without being a total mess, but you could just see it eminating from him that he was on a lot of sub
1 CamMoses 2018-12-15
I would say you guys are going to get him sent to jail but he’s stupid enough to post this shit.
1 SpudPeelinJoe 2018-12-15
Why does someone who looks like that insist on taking so many selfies?
1 ScottSummersOmegaLVL 2018-12-15
Good thing he always has a ciggie in his mouth, I was starting to doubt how cool this Artie fellow was
1 Literal_Luke 2018-12-15
This is what life is like when you made enough money to tell everyone that was ever real with you to go fuck themselves, and replace them with people who will enable your every self-destructive whim.
1 VeganHam 2018-12-15
He needs the love of strangers on social media because he has no love for himself.
1 ED4050 2018-12-15
Can’t believe this is the same guy that teamed up with Norm McDonald. They could have been like an American version of Nick Frost and Simon Pegg.
1 JimandFred 2018-12-15
how is he not in jail!!!
1 Rotundrotary 2018-12-15
Because addicts don't really get sent to jail anymore. They get varying levels of probation etc. If Artie was dealing he would be put away but that's it.
1 JimandFred 2018-12-15
how much do you think Artie has spent on this lawyer in the last two years?
1 Rotundrotary 2018-12-15
These aren't capital murder cases and he never has mounted a defense. He is pretty much just paying for court appearances so probably ~$10,000
1 PhishInVa2 2018-12-15
Addicts dont get sent to jail? Where are you from!? Virginia jails are packed with users who got simple possessions.
1 satanssockpuppet 2018-12-15
On top of that, there's the fact that if Retartie ends up in jail he'll last about ten minutes before he's off to the infirmary, where the prison medical staff will find around a hundred pressing health issues he needs addressed. It's easier to just give him probation and send him home to die, cheaper too.
1 Rotundrotary 2018-12-15
Yup, and no bad publicity. He is the walking dead at this point and the judge can see and smell it.
1 satanssockpuppet 2018-12-15
If the smack doesn't kill Retartie, some sort of nasty infection will. He has a bad heart, diabetes and a mockery of a nose covering a huge open sore on his face. If he somehow avoids getting a hot bag he will eventually require major medical care.
IMO Artie needs to be placed in some sort of conservatorship, as he obviously can't take care of himself like a normal adult. Aside from the huge hole he's bored into his face, the guy can't comb his own hair or wash his own clothes anymore. He probably belongs in some kind of assisted living situation.
1 LetnigFeceOfBags 2018-12-15
He had that Dan dude from his podcast doing his laundry. Artie would actually goof on him for doing the laundry! Now that Dan got the fuck outta there it looks like there’s no clean clothes, no clean dishes, nothing. Just a high end apartment with a coke head bum pissing and shitting in it. He’s living the life.
1 individual02 2018-12-15
This guy gets it now. The drugs always win. You can’t beat drugs, you can just go back to who you were before you met them. Quitting drugs is like willingly handing back humanities only jet pack because your friends didn’t like you showing up with it at dinner parties. Artie won, he’s not looking to give up that extra bandwidth because without it he’s less than human. Keep it up Artie, you’ll be dead in 6 months but atleast you’ll die with a gimpy smile on your face rather than be someone who feels like they had failed somehow because they can’t watch their kids grow old. Artie is beyond saving, he knows that. Just look at that face. He’s incompatible with what this species finds useful or valuable. Ive never seen a smile more knowing
1 I_Hate_Knickers_3 2018-12-15
u/therealstinks comment?
1 therealstinks 2018-12-15
Too real!
1 I_Hate_Knickers_3 2018-12-15
What happened to that ex of yours who shot that guy?
She in chokey?
1 vicvega007 2018-12-15
I bet even his mom knows this at this point. If your going to be a bear be grizzly. Go big Art
1 deep_legal_shit 2018-12-15
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
1 Kenn_Kennerson 2018-12-15
His lawyer should get his twitter password and change it. Then his sister just uses it to plug dates
1 juanwayne 2018-12-15
Even his skin looks high
1 Doc_McCoyXYZ 2018-12-15
How dare he steal Eric The Midget's sign off. Eric had more integrity in his right club fuckin foot than Artie has in his whole awful body.
1 DicklesTheClown 2018-12-15
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muqpDsL3V2c
1 rbtlrdoftkyo 2018-12-15
Some asshole has set up a GoFundMe for this piece of shit so he can fix his nose
1 bmfanboy 2018-12-15
Somebody replied to him asking him to stop smoking so “we can have you for a few more years”, as if cigarettes are even in the top 10 addictions that will cause his inevitable death.
1 rcharliesam 2018-12-15
Fucking garlic bulb for a nose
1 Popblawo 2018-12-15
Smoking in hotel rooms in NJ is illegal
1 satanssockpuppet 2018-12-15
Look at Retartie, begging for kudos for managing to get through a comedy set and avoiding jail all in one day, like it represents a major Artie milestone. Maybe tomorrow he'll manage to get a haircut and wash his snot-encrusted jacket, then he'll truly be on the big comeback trail. Bet you his old girlfriend is kicking herself for settling for a guy with a job and a nose.
1 htownnucca 2018-12-15
Adderall. It was in his system too when he popped in court, and he has a prescription so it's allowed. Which, it seems absurd not being able to get off coke if you're allowed amphetamine salts