You will be missed

You're a good egg. Try to haunt Nana when you become a vengeful ghost.

*vibrating egg

He said haunt him, not make him cum.

exorcise the demon of orgasm

He'll be that silly ghost, hiding Ant's egg batteries and Xanax, while diluting all his liquor with water and leaving all his windows open when the heat is on.

This guy didn't watch The Entity

I am sorry to hear that. I hope there is another adventure in the afterlife for ya. Big Patrice and Ralphie May will be awaiting.

If its possible, give us a sign from beyond.

Hang on for as long as ya can, and when you no longer can...

• Salute!

Yeah and remember to say 'Your Mom's Box'

DO DA BIT!

Ralphie may was terrible.

Fat guy humor is almost never good, but Ralphie may approached bert kreischer levels of cringe.

It feels like a crime to mention ralphie may and patrice in the same breathe. The man larped as a fat black woman his entire career.

Say hi to lil kuhn for us.

I can picture a hospice nurse reading you how ant takes hot loads in his ass and how Jimmy travels across the pond to suck a Norwegian shemale cock. Bet they won't shed a single tear for you after that.

We'll fuckin miss you bud, but if anyone understands that decision, it's us.

To think u/Futhuhmucker , this guy actually found stuff on the subreddit funny.

He'll die soon. Silver lining

So EDGYYYYY

What's the matter, pussy faggot? Can't handle it?

Fall for some more of my painfully obvious trolling, kiddo.

Again, when your attempted trolling makes you look like a huge pussy, you are doing it wrong.

Not when that's the bait to send one of you Reddit edgelords into a tizzy.

TIL a tizzy is quoting someones own posts back at them that made them look like a crybaby pussy

That's not a tizzy. A tizzy just means you're agitated, which you clearly are. Otherwise, you wouldn't be combing through not only my replies to you, but all of my comments, pulling quotes, writing long winded diatribes.

You can't use "TIL" then call anybody else a pussy

No need to be shy now.

You came here to mock people who think actual harm and hurt feelings are funny. I just explain how sensitive and stupid you sound. It's very amusing seeing you backtrack and trip over holes in your logic.

It makes sense that someone who thinks banging trannies doesn't make you a faggot and abbreviation does, but learning things makes you a pussy.

Considering how stupid you clearly are.

Yeah, "TIL" is for, again, 8th grade girls.

Yes, abbreviating words or phrases on the internet makes you a faggot.

Banging trannies doesn't.

It's amazing you can type these things and not laugh at yourself.

Or are you just being ironic and 'trolling' by making yourself look retarded? It's hard to tell the difference anymore.

Fiercely defending being an edgelord makes you a faggot.

Or maybe I'm kidding, you can't tell the difference. You haven't so far, because you're a retarded high school kid.

Laughing at a 'family values conservative' who fucks trannies and shoves vibrating eggs up his ass is funny. Dismissing people who find this funny as edgelords makes you sound retarded.

And crying about hurt feelings and lack of playful ball busting makes you sound like pussy.

So if making everyone think you are a retarded pussy is your idea of trolling, you're doing a great job.

Conservative family values, like get a job, don't have kids when you're not married, don't tax me like crazy.

You really stick to phrases, like an autistic child. Ball busting really got to you, huh?

What do you think would happen to Tucker Carlson if people found out he fucked trannies and shoved vibrating eggs up his ass? It would also be really funny and people would be making fun of him.

Just as Alex Jones was goofed on for getting busted watching tranny porn.

It has nothing to do taxes or having unwanted children.

Ball busting really got to you, huh?

Again, you were crying about hurt feelings, malicious intent, lack of playful ball busting, sounding like a huge pussy, and when I make fun of you for this, it's because your comments 'got to me'

Again, the depths of your retardation are endlessly fascinating.

But you're not making fun of me accurately. You keep missing the point, I believe on purpose. More of that post comedy stuff, I guess.

I don't see what Tucker Carlson has to do with Anthony. And I guarantee there's plenty in your porn watching/masturbation history that you wouldn't want getting out.

But you're not making fun of me accurately. You keep missing the point

This is why it's so fun to quote your own words back to you.

The comments about ro cumia Photoshops, malicious intent, playful ball busting, finding it funny if Anthony went broke or killed himself, hurt feelings etc, were all made by you.

But somehow it's inaccurate.

So now it 'that really got to you' and 'its many many reasons'

So again, the depths of your retardation and how much of a sensitive crybaby white knight you are is endlessly fascinating.

Tranny porn is nowhere near the strangest porn available. I don't consider it normal, but I also don't act like an outraged church lady over it, like you do.

You still don't grasp the larger point. You're a cunt for thinking that the cutting edge of comedy is to just be a shitty little child, safe behind mommy's apron. I still refuse to look back at my old comments, that's a job for my little obsessed fanboy. I assume i said something more generic, like "you're all cunts" and then you bravely decided to stand up and be a White Knight for all of the O&A sub. You're a cunt, I listed reasons why you and people like you are cunts, and you defend yourself like you're not a little wormy cunty edgelord kid? Just be the faggot you are and own it. This denial is ridiculous.

I assume i said something more generic, like "you're all cunts

Also, 'hurt feelings', 'malicious intent', 'desire to cause harm', (lack of) 'playful ball busting' 'goal is to drive Ant to suicide or financial ruin'

And when I explain how emotional and how much of a pussy this makes you sound like, then you lash out and get all emotional and sound like a pussy.

And anyone who isn't as sensitive as me is an edgelord.

This denial is ridiculous

You got that right.

I believe it may have been you who described a corpse Photoshop of Ant's mom as "playful ball busting". If that's your idea of just a real knee slapper, you're a cunt. If your idea of a leisure is to spend years obsessing and seething and hating some podcast host, you're a cunt, plain and simple. Jesus, you've mentioned me by name a dozen times in less than a week, just desperate to "take me down" or whatever faggot goals you have. You have no effect on my life. There you go, now write me another essay. Make sure to show your sources in proper bibliographic format.

I believe it may have been you who described a corpse Photoshop of Ant's mom as "playful ball busting".

Nope.

If that's your idea of just a real knee slapper, you're a cunt. If your idea of a leisure is to spend years obsessing and seething and hating some podcast host, you're a cunt, plain and simple.

Also, it really funny

Jesus, you've mentioned me by name a dozen times in less than a week, just desperate to "take me down" or whatever faggot goals you have.

Just to get the reactions which you've given. I also really enjoy your takes on things.

You have no effect on my life

This sounds familiar.

We get it, the style of humour that thousands of people here enjoy, which is not playful, good natured etc really upsets you and you get triggered and start acting hysterical because feelings might get hurt (including yours)

It's extremely amusing.

Extremely amusing? Extremely? You have a frightfully low bar for what amuses you. How about paint drying, or a two piece jigsaw puzzle? That's about as exciting as this exchange has been.

Anti-humor or post-comedy isn't really a category of comedy, and that's what you're doing. I'm sure your fellow edgelord 15 year olds who love this shit will pull a muscle in your side from laughing SO hard at my hypocrisy, mine specifically. Way to aim high, kid.

How about paint drying, or a two piece jigsaw puzzle?

Unfortunately you don't have an outside perspective to understand how ridiculous it is for someone to come to r/opieandanthony and complain and cry about hurt feelings, aim to do harm, malicious intent, lack of playful ball busting, finding it funny if Anthony went broke or killed himself etc etc

Meanwhile, a man in his late 50s inviting a 14 year old child over for a sleep over.... Nothing to see here.

laughing SO hard at my hypocrisy

Yeah it's not really hypocrisy that's the funny part. It's the sensitive crybaby pussy who calls everyone edgelords for not being as sensitive as him. And the backtracking, contradictions and mental gymnastics by someone without the intellect to fool anyone with half a brain.

Also, you say really stupid things.

But keep trying to convince yourself that the only reason someone could possibly make fun of you or not be as big of a crybaby as you are is because they are 15 (definitely the majority demographic of pests are people who were 11 when the show ended)

I have a nephew who is 12 and I pray he won't be as big of an emasculated sensitive crybaby when he is 15, God damn.

Either way, you're bursting with laughter at this shit? That's so lame, even for a high school kid.

Either way

Glad you are finally coming to terms with how much of a pussy you come across as.

And calling everyone who isn't as big of a pussy as you an edgelord just makes worse for you.

You came to r/opieandanthony to make fun of people for not being sensitive enough.

Yes, this is funny...

you're bursting with laughter

...hyperbole aside.

No, fiercely defending edgelord 4chan material as hard as you do, acting like it's amazing material, means you have a garbage sense of humor. Saying that comment section arguments are "extremely amusing" to you and cause you to laugh out loud shows this further. There's funny stuff here once in a while, mean stuff too. Mean stuff about Anthony, woah! I disagree with you saying I am a pussy faggot. You don't disagree with being called an edgelord wannabe tough guy. Look out for this guy, he's dangerous.

Now cue you writing me another essay.

Yes, it been established that you are triggered by jokes that cause hurt feelings, aim to cause harm, have malicious intent, lack playful ball busting etc.

And anyone who isn't as sensitive as you is a 15 year old 4chan edge lord.

And yes, your responses to argue this point are very amusing.

Nope, wrong again. I'm making fun of douchebags who think being an edgelord takes some kind of grit or fortitude, and anybody who isn't fully on board just can't handle it, bruh!!

No need to beat a dead horse. You are a huge pussy who thinks every one who might possibly find hurt feelings, suicide, someone going broke or humour that isn't playful funny is a 15 year old edgelord. (despite this being exactly the fanbase o and a cultivated)

You also can't conceive how someone might find you saying such retarded things funny, because you have no self awareness.

Did you just learn the word "edgelord" and now feel the need to use it in every conversation to sound cool?

Also :

Scanning /u/Futhuhmucker's posting history, I couldn't help but notice him regurgitating all the same pro-Ant / anti-Opie / anti-Reddit beats that /u/TittyMtnHighway (the village idiot) was hitting before we drove him to virtual suicide about a month or two ago (right around the time the Futhuhmucker account got created to shit on anyone who shits on CM or gives Opie a little too much praise).

It's hilarious when CM people create accounts here just to argue with the trolls, isn't it?

BTW, you think you're annoyed with us NOW? Bruh, you don't even have the basic brain functionality to realize that every second you waste on us is a contradiction of what you claim to be about. If anything, you're making our presence here more enjoyable by providing a common target to shit on.

So while I'm glad you learned a new word, I'd be surprised if you (or anyone else) is still using it a year from now. But I understand that when you ain't got a personality of your own, you gotta jump on those fads and bandwagons while you can, eh?

Hope dammitjenkins20cars has as much fun with you going forward as I had for months with TittyMtnHighway, and that it ends the same way. Enjoy it while it lasts, cuz when it's over you'll miss the attention so much you'll be back with yet another account.

Should I use "cuck"? Is that one more cool with the kids? And I told you before, believe what you want, bruh. I'm tempted now to actually make another account just to fuel your fantasy.

Yes u/Literal_Luke , this has been pretty entertaining, seeing what retarded shit he will come out with.

Some gems like, when I say

You claim to 30 (probably the average age of a 4 Chan user and under the average age of an o and a fan)

Yet you use insults like 'young man' and 'dope'.

You are too stupid to pull off this charade, whoever you are.

The response is

Charade? What are you, 60?

You don't think I'm 30? I'm no flim flam man. You got a lotta sand, kid. There you go, I used 2 old words, proof positive that I'm an octogenarian.

Which comes across as being upset when you realise that someone hasn't fallen for your bullshit, because you are so stupid that you would have.

And now you're ANGRY.

Priceless

Not really. More mocking you for being so completely 100% inaccurate with your detective work. Your ace in the hole is one word. And "young man" is an accurate way for me to address you, since I assume you're at least a decade younger than me, which is why I said you're probably a high school kid, maybe early 20s. Not quite the walk off home run you were hoping for. Keep at it, kid. You got a lotta moxie.

Why did you abandon the u/TittyMtnHighway account?

I noticed you hit all the same beats I did in my LiveJournal from 2002. Therefore, you are me from high school. I got you!

Do you believe everything you read on Reddit. You're a retarded high school kid, so obviously yes.

But why did you abandon the u/TittyMtnHighway account?

That's the question

You got it all wrong. I was u/niggerniggeranthonyisanigger, but I was tired of all the constant upvotes and accolades. It was too easy. Now I'm seeing how low karma I can get is as short a time span as possible.

I don't have it all wrong.

Why did you abandon the u/TittyMtnHighway account?

Ah, the easily led. You're so easy to lead.

Sir, just answer the question.

Why did you delete the u/TittyMtnHighway account, then start this account to say the exact same things?

Did you get triggered and then regret your decision?

You're gonna create yet another account, just for my sake? Aww :)

And you're still under the impression that this sub doesn't own you?

You CM guys are cute. ;) Keep feeding those that feed nana, we get bored quick around here.

I would search back in my post history to check and see when the last time I said edgelord was, but that's your job.

Great comeback! Man, that stings. I'm gonna need a minute.

Man, sorry to hear that. You could check out clinical trials.gov if you can handle any more treatment. If not, get in with palliative medicine... They can virtually guarantee comfort until the end, whenever that is. If you need a referral, dm me your zip code and I'll find someone for you.

Where are you at? I've given lots of end of life care before. I'll come put you down comfortably.

Want to spend your last moments surrounded by white people rather than a bunch of goblinos in Jew York City, huh?

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Can you leave me a large quantity of cheddar from that area. Spend all your money. What do you need it for?

Nice link, stupid. clinicaltrials.gov

Just kidding Dr. Steve. You're a good man.

Thanks, I was dictating in my car

dictaking

Speaking of cars, there's some oil leaking from my engine. Advice?

the only decent thing to come out of this O&A universe is drsteve, everything else is a black hole of nonsense.

What a great guy! The gem of this cesspool. Thanks for being there Dr. Steve (More Burning Bridges appearances please)... Sorry to hear about your cancer u/PhilipMarma

Genuinely sending you comfort and peace during this time. I hope you and your family will get to spend as much quality time together as possible.

On another note, my grandfather always said "thank you kindly". He was the only other person I knew who said that, and he passed a few years ago. I miss him dearly. I don't know if there's some cosmic connection, but it lets me know you're a good person to read that.

god damn why even go grave shopping just ask for the continental

Sounds like it's literally killing you

No rich vos dates?

Rich has a lot of quality dates coming up in the next few months that you could absolutely catch.

Its not too late.... Just saying the court systems move slowly in this country. You could make some crazy things happen. (Just kidding) not kidding Go steal some candy bars

I can't believe Ant is going to outlive you. With his swollen liver. I hate that. Seriously, I'm sorry. Hope to see you in the O&A subreddit in the sky some day.

I googled 'pancreatic cancer cure' on your behalf. It gave me a lot of information about palliative care. I'm not gonna lie, that's not a great sign. If it's any consolation, I'm the same age as you and I was planning on just wasting the rest of my life anyway. It's not that important. Just tell them to keep the morphine flowing xxx.

cancer is such a ssssssssscumbag.

only one thing to do big guy, I am not going to say it outright but you can guess what we all want you to do with your last days and who we want you to do it to. FEED NANA her last meal

I thought you weren't gonna say it outright you unfocused asshole.

IT’S STILL THINLY VEILED. he probably got it cuz he hates the lord. Not my fault.

are you gonna let the cancer take you? or go the 'death with dignity' route?

Hey dude do fucking drugs. Seriously. Do heroin meth. Do whatever. Make the last months the craziest time of your life

is there anything us internet retards can somehow do for you?

I googled 'pathetic cancer' and got back pictures of _________.

(Insert the name of Gregg/Nana/Worm/NotSam or whoever we hate most this week. I can't keep up anymore.)

Cunt.

RAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! Bring me a fat bag of black tar heroin!

If you're a real cool guy you'll get a Vos plug on your tombstone.

if there's proof of life not being fair, this is it.

Lol rich vos performed at a high schools “spring fling”? Wtf

He didn't have a choice. School officials asked why hanging out a high school prom and, 'Um... I'm a comedian and I was... ^{invited?^} to perform here" was the first thing that came to mind.

I’d trade places with you dude but I don’t want to die. You’re a good egg. Sorry.

Don't give up hope. Rich's career died years ago and he's still beating the odds.

For the people who aren't dying, Rich Vos will be at the Omaha funny bone October 11 to the 13th.

It had to be the Funny Bone, didn't it?

Well, "The Funny Pancreas" doesn't really make sense.

You'll laugh until your sides hurt — *more.

Are there any tickets available? Kidding.

Fuck yes, this comment is the meaning of comedy.

You might as well go out in a bang and do something for the entertainment of the sub. In all seriousness I hope you recover. God be with you, no bs.

You don't recover from death, stupid

Jesus did.

Nice benchmark, stupid

Yeah, like running over a bunch of prostesters with the words “the opie and Anthony sub reddit-mobile” on the side of the vehicle

I was thinking something like buy a copy of Anthony's book and leave a bad review.

How about go to Ant's house and mock him for not having his guns anymore to scare you off

Nice Clint Eastwood stupid

I'm sure Ant still has guns somewhere. He should try to break in and get shot dead, and then Anthony goes to prison.

"1 star. Book gave me cancer."

I'll personally make sure his parents have the best home care when they need it if he does Dodge Challenger 2.0 on some Kavanaugh protestors on his way out.

I'm sure you could use a nice new sound bar for your final days...

Yea people recover all the time from Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer that's spread to the bones.

British actor Sir John Hurt recovered from Pancreatic cancer. It got him in the end but many years after his diagnosis.

You don't really recover from pancreatic cancer that's spread.

I'm sorry to hear that. That's rough.

You gonna send OP some pics of your snatch before he croaks?

Why torture him any further?

Thank you for your service - will have a grapefruit shandy in your honor brotherman

May his child spit forever taste like ashes.

Bro joe suggests you wear an ill fitting suit and your finest white new balance sneakers for the funeral. Perhaps a few brothers of anarchy pins for some flair.

Let's just send this over the engravers right now. A finer epitaph could not be written.

That fucking sucks man. Sorry to hear this - say hello to Qadan for me.

dedication for the next doc?

Absolutely - will do a /u/PhilipMarma tribute for sure.

Imagine having stage 4 cancer & still laughing at lowlife Joe Materese's pathetic life. God's work.

100% Italian

I take back my thoughts and prayers; I thought they were going to a white person.

Oh no. Th-That's terrible. I'm sorry. Thoughts and prayers reinstated.

Holy fuck dude. How long ago were you diagnosed?

Nice question, stupid

Heavy smoker/drinker or a spiteful God? Suicide before the paralysis or go out the old fashioned way? Either way, good luck facing whatever comes.

Good luck, nigga. https://youtu.be/jYa462G_WO8

Props to you for seeing it that way. I had a friend’s brother kill himself and it destroyed his mother. She’s permanently depressed now.

Who knows, man? Maybe you’ll wake up one day and everything will have changed. Don’t give up until shit is over.

Same here mate, my mum went on anti depressants and has since come out of that stage and year and a half on. Shes a religious nutter as well so that helps her.

We get it, you're English.

Man, you're pancreas really motherfucked you. Did you do much shrooms or acid. Sorry this is happening to you, take care

Have you considered taking a large dose of LSD before you die? Other cancer patients who were aware of their impending death have had multiple studies done both during and after large (heroic) doses of LSD; studies showed that a psychedelic experience genuinely put the majority of patients minds’ at ease before they passed. Something to think about trying possibly

Good to hear that you’re considering it man, sincerely & genuinely thinking of you and hoping circumstances allow for that trip with Lucy and to give your mind a fresh and comfortable outlook before you go

You did nothing wrong to cause this man. Nothing. Pancreatic cancer rarely affects people under 40. It was a freak, aberrant genetic cause.

I really need to quit smoking.

Want to hear something pathetic? When I was like ~12 my dad was so embarrassed about the fact that I was a little fat kid he paid absurd amounts of money for me to go to a hypnotist. I won't insult a dying man by saying definitively that that shit doesn't work, because maybe it does for some people, but I kept falling asleep when that dude put me under "hypnosis."

It really is all will power though. I quit for a couple years (and got in shape too), but I missed it too much.

I went to my doctor once and he had pamphlets advertising hypnosis. I just figured he brought his own street shitter hocus pocus with him and he seemed rather indignant when I inferred that it was all bullshit. Fucker prescribed me Vicodin for years though, so I can't me too mad at him.

I smoked for 38 years, 1-2 pks a day, and then quit almost 4 years ago. Chantix for the first 4 months and that did the trick. Not a single puff since. You can do it. I’m not saying I don’t think abt it daily but I’ve gone too far to give in.

Yeah my bro killed himself last year. Needless to say, it's not a fun time.

You just keep on going brotherman. Have as much as you can. None of us know when we're checking out.

Not sure if this is your thing, and not to get all midget-Rogan, but try some heavy dose LSD or Mushrooms. I've heard that can help people towards the end at acceptance. MDMA is good too.

Was there anything you could have done if you suspected something earlier? Like, what early tests would have allowed for detection of the cancer?

Look, I don't want to give you false hope, but I have reason to believe that sucking my cock can cure cancer.

I'm just saying, I'm here for you.

I feel bad for laughing at this comment...

Oh god that cracked me up.

You evil motherfucker.

Sorry to hear that brother, God bless you.

“Thank you for your service”

Really sad to hear that. I hope you have a peaceful and as pain free as possible remainder of you time

There is a heart inside every asshole, just have to dig through the shit to get there. Again truly saddened by the news and wish u had more time. Enjoy every last breath.

Did... uh.. did you just invent that saying?

Which one?

The asshole one? As far as I know I came up with it right now, but could be completely wrong, possible I could have heard it and stored it in my subconscious

how dare you use the amy schumer defense.

😂

Truly touching. A heart inside every arsehole.

...and maybe a piece of sweetcorn.

[removed]

Wanna fuck before you die?

You deserve to be blown BEFORE THE PEARLY GATES.. seriously though good luck man. I will continue to shitpost in your honor.

be the change that you want to see in the world

This Cancer guy is a real jerk!

CANCERSTORE!

Uh, you may not be celibate these last few months. Watch out for the orderlies with greedy hard-ons.

Ugh I’m sorry man. Genuinely and not in a Norton way. This all sucks. I guess I can only share what gives me comfort in times like this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U_tpZf62opw

You glorious bastard!

Your docs will give you great drugs as you head to hospice. You may be fuck free, but you’ll not give that many fucks either. Good work sir.

You should be on so many opiates your dick cant even get hard/you wont cum no matter how hard you try. You should get Opana. Theyre the bees knees when it comes to painkillers. (More euphoric than Fentanyl and lasts wayyy longer than Dilaudid and Oxy).

That sucks man and I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your ordeal. You sound like a good egg though so I hope you end up with the 72 virgins some other jack offs try to claim.

Thanks for being apart of the autism these past years.

Love ya miss ya

It's "a part", stupid, not "apart". They're literally antonyms.

Don't embarrass me in front fo the dying guy please

God bless dude. Sorry to hear.

When you reach the point where you can't visit here, please ask your parents to read it out to you. "Well, son, there seems to be an angry Caribbean gentleman whose book isn't selling well. Something about milkers, let me just... oh, nevermind. And a young girl telling people to feed their grandmothers - That's nice."

Rest easy, brother.

"P...Papa...Is Bams_Seed showing her asshole because another woman showed up?"

"She is son... She is."

Sorry to hear that man, I hope there's an after life so you and Patrice can laugh at what O&A has become from heaven.

You will be there. Tell Patrice not to make fun of us too much.

You can have all my life force.

Is there a stage 5?  What would that be like?

Finger of God

Holy fuck this thread has me in tears and even because of OP’s sob story

::drops fork::

spills coke

They were doing tha bit, STUPID.

I was gonna wish you well but now I just don't know

ha ha we have fun around here.

This thread is pretty much our version of a Make-A-Wish.

End scene of Terminator 2

Looking like sam roberts

I'm about to lose my ability to do the internet and stuff

it's already spread to the router? Fuck.

You're one of the decent posters. I'm not good at this shit, so I'll just keep doing what I do in your honour.

Respect man.

Give one of your friends or family members your reddit log in credentials so they can update us on your condition when you can no longer "do internet"

I will be regularly checking for updates

You suck his cock?

Who doesn’t?

"Go dark"? Is that code word for "going black". Be warned, you'll never go back.

Give Steve C and Ant's Dad our best

They're undoubtedly fucking

YEEESSSSS!

But don't drop the soap around Ant's dad.

See you on the other side

We're gonna miss you

Fuck, this hits a little close to home for me. My mother, and a couple of others in my family died from pancreatic cancer fairly recently. And for some reason I assumed it only killed mean, horrible old ladies. But now seeing it afflict a turd like me that posts on this shithole, I'm worried. And all jokes aside I wish nothing but the best for you, hope you really do have some good family/freinds by your side, and keep your sense of humor till the bitter fucking end.

I really wish it was Sam or Anthony instead of you. Even though I've never met you, I mean it with every fiber of my being.

Hey, are you still alive?

I looked for the Vos dates but they never came. Stay up kid.

Man, I hope you've enjoyed the time you've had here and am happy to have shared these stupid laughs on this sub with you over the time you've been here. I honestly wish you and your family the best. I don't really know what to say other than I hope it's easy from here til the sun sets. Make sure the ones you love know you do.

Well that fucking blows. I'm really sorry man. You're too young for this shit, hell, you're a year younger than me and i feel too young for this type of shit to already be happening. God really needs to get off his ass and maybe stop murdering the young (the old i get, they're a terrible burden on society and should be eliminated in the most painful of manors)

Jesus tap dancing Christ. I'm sorry man, i really am. Cancer is such a cunt

Do you have any sort of advice or lessons you'd tell people given the perspective the cancer has put you in?

Its time to start “Is Philipmarma Alive? Friday!”

Hope everything works out, buddy. Hang in there.

I can probably guilt trip Tranpa into turning over his sweet squeeze Sue for a hot 69 session. You down?

if it makes you feel any better, we're all gonna join you relatively soon, give or take 60 years more or less, and that's the blink of an eye in terms of the age of the universe(s)

Is that an x ray of your asshole with the sperm floating around?

I meant to say that I'm 34, what would you do with those two years besides drink every day?

Did you start to enjoy life more as you got older? I was suicidal for many years, but by the time I owned a bunch of guns life wasn't as bad it seemed.

Now that I've sold all my good guns I'm feeling suicidal again and this piece of shit .380 wouldn't do the job. I'd just end up a Bobo.

Thoughts?

There are so many stories of people that have defied the odds, keep the faith man

For your last post please link the video to "Your mom's box"

Reddit gets money because this guy's dying.

Sorry to hear it dude, wish you all the best.

I'm 34... I have nothing to say except good luck bro... But seriously I'm glad you had a couple laughs up to the end,that's all I hope for

God damnit, sorry to hear man.

If only little Timothy had gotten those fig newtons to the pancreatic cancer march instead of dropping them in the street and getting his hand run over, maybe this wouldn't be happening.

I get it

No fucking around sorry to hear that bro. I like your insights. Thoughts and prayers.

Pale? Fuck me son I'm brown as shit

How quickly did it go to you from having a normal life till you realized you only had a couple of months left? I’m really sorry dude. That shit sucks.

Did you have any symptoms prior to this? Anything we can watch out for?

I’m so very sorry you have to go through this. Please make every minute count from here on out.

Hope to wish you a happy dew year though.

Just get bloodwork done on a yearly basis. There’s really nothing else u can do

Can I have your account since you won’t be needing it?

What you need to do now is hedge your religious bets - get in good with Jesus, Allah, Bhudda, L Ron Hubbard, and whatever else the Asians believe in. Don't take the risk of picking the wrong religion, or going into the afterlife a faggot atheist.

Sorry dude. I guess we're supposed to make jokes but that's awful.

Are you going to try heroin like doug Stanhope?

Don't give up man. Even 1% is still a chance. Keep fighting.

I’m really sorry to hear this. I am hoping for the best for you, fight to be part of that 5% as best you can. I know it sounds faggy but I will do my best to take your words to heart and try to appreciate what is good about life even though I’m generally a surly prick. Keep fighting and we’ll be here mocking Anthony and the gang for your reading pleasure.

I will make Ant, Opie, and Jimmy miserable in your name.

Love you mate

I'm perfectly healthy and likely going to live for a long time if that makes you feel any better.

I don’t know. That’s a tough one. On the one hand, you have a pancreas. On in the other hand is cancer.

Look at the bright side, you’re not Anthony Cumia.

I think this link expresses more clearly than any words I can type. https://youtu.be/PG-qCyYZRms

I’m sorry, I know it doesn’t mean anything and we o and a people are brutal but I’m sorry anyway.

I haven’t been to a doctor since I was 17.. I’m 37 now . I will prolly die soon too.

Philly love faggot RIP... . I hope you are not in too much pain . I pray Sam dies before you !!

Fuck man I wish you the best 2-4 months ever! I

and again after I'm gone

goddamnit 😭😭

Your moms box

We're two guys who think cancer is bad!

Christ dude die with some dignity, don't call out to that ape woman like she is special.

Take your own advice Nana. You fucking pissy eyed little faggot

We're gonna miss ya ya cancer ridden fuck. May you go out swinging.

Take care chap!

Why did someone gild this post? You're not going to get to use those features!

Sorry, this horrible place... Had to go for that. I wish I had some inspiring words. When you get to the other side, come back and throw a few dishes or kick us in the balls so we know you're good. Maybe come back and blow up Emma Watson's skirt or something?

Godspeed brother.

Nice stage, stupid

Rest in piss brotherman

Fuck Ant’s mom when you arrive in hell.

Hahahahaha

Don’t sweat it, we’ll all be joining you eventually.

Yeah, keep it warm for us

tss FAWK YEAH!

other and I set up an accoun

you men dvv dvv

Hell is only for non-Christians, dude. You'll be just fine.

Do you think they serve beer

Remember that odd feeling of going under (for surgery) and then coming out and wondering if they’re ever gonna start? Meanwhile, they already did the 3 hour procedure? I think that’s what death is like; you shut off and that’s it. It’s painless and peaceful.

Except the hours before that where you know you're dying but you don't know how much time you have left before you slip into non-existence. And you try to grasp the concept of not existing but since existing is all you've ever done it's impossible to do so.

That's gotta be nerve wracking. This is probably worse than all the black jokes made in this thread Sorry Phillip. You'll deal with that when it comes, it's just so fucking goddamn shitty. I would be angry as a motherfucker if I were in your shoes so I really admire the fact you're staying positive. Genuinely.

I know I’m trying to equate to surgery when you’re almost certain you’ll wake up when they’re finished so there isn’t that added anxiety of this last moment is my last moment.

But I will say that having had surgery recently gave me a different perspective of the moment of death (as long as it’s not a violent end). Even with the anxiety and unknown, I do believe it can very peaceful and accepting when you’re transitioning in that moment.

I admire this guy for his steadfastness. I cannot imagine having to deal with this uncertainty st this age.

I believe so too but goddamn 36 years old? I expect to live twice that long because I'm a retard who almost never had to deal with death. The only funeral I've been to was my grandpa's who croaked when he was 78. That was in 2005.

Pardon the faggotry but this thread was a wake up call for me.

How so? Will you be more proactive with your health? Not dismiss simple GI issues as “gas” and maybe have it worked up? I think what he did by positing this was fantastic.

Yeah I do too. Being conscious of the fact your body can motherfuck you even before you have any grey hairs. He's the first young guy I know of with a shitty disease like that. All the people I knew who died young were either suicides or car wrecks.

Nothing really changes when you discover your mortality. You're still the same shitty person.

Of course. But with extra existential angst and to spice things up

I’m going to one tomorrow. Had my dad pass a few months ago too. You will note as you get older that you go to more funerals than weddings.

Nah, you'll probably just see your life flash before your eyes, experience the euphoria of oneness with the Absolute for a bit, then plop out of another vagina out of nowhere. Check out these kids: https://youtu.be/y16jaCk4tLY

Speak to your Father upstairs, repent for what you know youve done wrong, no church no priest stuff, just you and the one you know has always been there;speak to him bro. I hope peace and mercy be upon you.

I hope you live long enough to laugh at Colin Flaherty's impending death.

I guess he forgot to pass.

I hope ur not foolin, sir. This is no laughing matter. If you're not then I wish u well and hope u get ur dick sucked nicely before u depart. Stay strong, brotherman

That Fuckn blows, man. U seem to be handling this as well as one could hope. If u would like a blowjob from a escort of ur choosing doesn’t hesitate to ask. I’d be happy to help

Jesus Christ. Ur a strong dude. I’m praying for u man...I don’t pray but I’ll send a little something out in the universe for u, my friend

Immortalize yourself by posting a cock pic here

I mean it can’t hurt to try

I still think it would make the sidebar.

Not a picture...your actual cock.

Sorry to hear that. Hope you’re getting lots of love and comfort right now, brothaman.

I like the new direction of the sub. A brothaman’s got to have a heart

For you, Philip.

Wasn't someone else on here murdered by their pancreas as well? What's next, Dennis Leary's gonna steal your material after you die? Hacks

Just awful. Such a shit disease. My wife’s father died of it. God bless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFMS1QVVW9I

Even though we’re a bunch of degenerate autist, we’re like family here (boooooo). I know I’ll get shit for this here but I’ll keep you in my prayers tonight, for real

Seriously, you ever feel like you’re in a dark place, come here to this sub

Doxx him

Yes

1-800-4PANERA

Plz

He isn't going to fuck you, dude. Jeez

Who are you?

Wanna fight about it?

For real

Tots and prayers

As a hypochondriac, how did you know you were sick?

That's awful man. Hopefully this place brought you some laughs during some tough times.

Did you happen to have a Whipple procedure?

I don’t think they do whipples if it’s already stage IV. Whipples have tremendous life altering events so are only used if the chances of curing the disease is worth it. I could be wrong. I just diagnose the cancers; not involved with treatment planning.

Fuck.

Well fuck. Guess I'll go to the doctor more often

Or don't go to the doctor ever, problem solved!

What kind of GI problems?

Blood farts, perhaps

So bloody shits are cool right?

Joe or sumphin

Was there a specific blood marker they said indicated cancer?

It is absurd how That's terrible, I'm sorry that news must have been to be blindsided with. You were just bored in a waiting room and waiting to get back to your life. Goddamn

Diabetes is 2 verys. Cancer is always 3. But seriously that sucks.

Here’s to a speedy recovery 🍻

You seem like a good egg, fella. That shit just isn't right. Hang in there the best you can. Hopefully you can make the best of the time you have left.

u/drsteve103, where we at with the Heaven?

Uhhhhh pearly gate papules

Really sorry to hear that. I hope you have a good family around you just now.

And if Bro Joe ever gloats about this we will avenge you.

oh yes, I swear we will harry him into an early suicide. And if he talks shit, even sooner.

This is all Jim Norton's fault.

He takes one of ours, we'll take ten of his!

Quick, someone post a list of all the people who hold Jim Norton dearly.

Found it:

😂😂😂

Statistically there was probably less than a 5% chance that a man would ever steal a soundbar, accidentally kill his kid, and step over its corpse if that makes you feel any better about your chances for survival

There is a 0% chance that the mainstream media narrative is in any way accurate

Quit dying, stupid

Nice effort, stupid

Nice pancreas, stupid.

It's not about the pancreas at this point. Stage 4 means it's metastasized already.

Nice big word, stupid.

Thanks for the info, Mikey Palmice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aeba_pkpVPY

He's like the grim fuckin reapah. He knows everybody with a cancer call and he can't wait to tell you about it.

You have the lifespan of an 18th century Quebecois fur trader

You outlived comedy, too.

Does anybody remember laughter?

Through your tears...

What’s that? Your pancreas is crapping out.

I have a cyst on my pancreas, may be since birth maybe not. 3rd mri to see if it’s grown. Did you have one as well?

When you meet him, can you tell him "Your mom's box" for us

Have you tried just not having cancer?

what the fuck is a pancreas anyway, sounds like pancakes, i haven't eaten a pancake in years and im fine

Leave it to this sub to turn this guy's tragedy into r/roastme.

You never fail.

Unlike this guy's pancreas.

i guess this was your ticket to obscurity. see you on the other side, say hi to ants career for me

I hope you don’t get me in this year’s r/opieandanthony secret santa.

I genuinely hope you outlive Ant.

Can you take Jim & Sam with you?

Why do you wish more misery on the man?

Is he going to hell?

Lol that’s like a slap in the face to pick “Christmas” as the happy time you won’t make it til, why not just a number of months, what’s the deal what that am I right ???? For real tho if that’s true that sucks bro, hoping for a Miracle for ya, may even possibly get around to praying

Paging /u/drsteve103; PhilipMarma's pancreatic cancer results appear to be covered in semen, again.

Fhhluid

Hang in there so you can witness Anthony's disastrous book launch.

Seriously. The book launch will be such a spectacular failure it'll cure his cancer

God bless dude. When you kick it make sure to use your ghost powers to continue our fight.

Damn, "Good luck, bro".

Lucky for you, I plan to release my Steve C. documentary exactly 4 months from today at 10pm ET.

I'm really sorry. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope because I really want you to see and comment on the new Scorsese movie co-starring James Norton.

What were your symptoms, how'd you find out?

What were the symptoms in retrospect?

Please share...

Yeah seriously, I'm freaking out over here

Odd he wont say... Still a chance this is a wind up/troll. It is the o&a sub after all.. Could help a lot of people by listing ignored signs.. Im having blood work for lumps in throat and have just quit smoking over this post and the headaches.

I googled the symptoms but they are all relatively common things - fatigue, stomach pain, loss of appetite

Haven't been to the Dr in 8 years

Gorta go and see Dr Proctor man.. You have a date with Dr Jelly Finger.

....on the bright side, you're going to save a shitload on Christmas presents this year.

I keep remembering that Stanhope bit, about when his mum beat lung cancer via home euthanasia. She took a shit-ton of opiates, and washed them down with her favourite (and long-denied, after decades in AA) booze. She's sitting there, waiting for peace at last, and Stanhope shouts out:

"Wait! They found a cure!"

you should be maxing those cards out, but some outlandish shit, maybe a gold chain, that one ice cream with gold foil, you know retarded rich people shit

Shit man, that means that you might not be able to catch Rich Vos on December 31 for his new years show at he Buffalo Helium. Cancer really sucks. I guess everyone else could still get tickets by going on buffalo.heliumcomedy.com :/

This is some real shit. Don’t completely give up until you’re dead, spend every second you can with the people you love, write/type some shit down that you want people to know, and if you do die in the next couple months - realize life on Earth fuckin sucks, so you’re not missing much anyways. Time is just perspective.. the 36 years you lived was eternity.. the process of dying sucks, but being dead is going to be cool as shit.. go out with a smile on your face and your dick in your hand.. praying for you and your family.

It would suck if he just got reincarnated as another human on faggot Earth

or becoming a chicken that lays the eggs for Jims egg whites

"I worked hard for those eggs AND YOU ARE THROWING HALF OF IT OUT! FU I HATE U!" - Chickens everywhere

"That scuuuuumbag Norton motherfucked me"

Spit some bars at his funeral over a "Dear Mama" instrumental

Silver lining, you’ll be able to shout him out on your rap songs like all the other rappers who lost their family members to senseless gang violence.

Awaiting you to drop hot fire in his honor

I lost a close relative to cancer a couple weeks ago.. she was the healthiest and nicest person I knew.. she had some stomach pains and found out she had stage 4 cancer and was dead 6 months later.. that really changed my outlook on life and death..

Do whatever you can to make your death as easy as possible for your parents (if they are good parents).. even if you have to lie, make them feel like you’re not scared at all.. accept Christ as your savior (if that’s what they believe), even if you don’t mean it - if you do mean it, even better.

Fuck I wish I was dying.

Sorry to hear you’ve been Mother Fucked like Swayze... but glad to hear you have found some peace and kept your sense of humor brotherman.

Someone here will be sure to claim you were 14 years old.

shhhuuuure

Your Moms Box

Would you if given a chance, change lives with this sub's most prolific child killer Kuhn?

Make sure to drop a "Your mom's box" on your way into that good night.

I've been thinking about offing myself a lot lately but after reading this I guess I'll press on. I don't want to steal your bit.

Seriously, though, hope it happens quick and easy for you.

I'm pretty fucking ready to kill myself but if living is so precious to you I will give it another month or so

You should probably just do it.

This guy gets it

Look at mr. Disagreeable over here.

Find someone you hate, like a coworker who has a funny coffee mug and makes sure everyone sees it, call his wife and say you were having a gay affair and are dying of AIDS and that she needed to know the truth. Become a legend.

Good luck, bro.

The whole world is turning to shit and there isn't anything good on TV, so fuck it.

Yeah, look at this scharmy dying guy complaining when it's the living who wi truly suffer

Can’t you just have your pancreas and bones removed?

u/drsteve103

I'm talking to him via DM, hang on...

How long should we hang on for Doc?

Doxx him!

You gotta save his peckah, Doc.

doc tell us if he has a chance or not already. I'll hang up and listen to your answer on the radio thanks

I have no reason to doubt his veracity. Proceed accordingly.

Lol jellyfish ass nigga

Worked for Jimmy.

Godspeed, Buckaroo. 💟☮️✝️

Can’t you just have your pancreas and bones removed?

I hope you get better. If not, I hope you get to bang Roe Cumia in heaven.

Joe Cumia is already taking credit for this.

We've already got Anthony popping pain meds daily, I promise he'll fall right after.

If you’re bullshiting just to show that we can be a bunch of faggots (figuratively because for the most part we are literal faggots here) then congratulations, you’re the best prankster this sub has ever seen

Say you’re gonna be okaaaay!

Say the fuckin worrrrdddss!

Sorry to hear about your shit show. I’m a few years older than you and I can’t fathom what you’re going through. I’m sure you’ll pop in my head every now and then until I die. Thanks for that.

Well I feel like a piece of shit now but, thoughts and prayer, thoughts and prayers

I'm sorry to hear that man :(

Your a good egg, you'll be missed

Good luck bro

ctrl+f good luck bro

fucker beat me to it.

Don't die. But, if you have to, may your afterlife be performing "Pendulum" karaoke with Steve C. on an endless loop. Yessssss.

Fuck man.

I’m glad to have shared this little corner of existence with you. Truly.

He'd tell you if he wasn't. Honestly.

Stranger things have happened you may live a year of two. I will dedicate all my attacks on Patrick Tomlinson to you

Just try to outlive Ant. He can't have more than a few months left.

Thoughts n' prayers, Brotherman. Thoughts n' prayers...

How long before nana and joe take credit for this?

Op, really sorry to hear. You seem to be taking this fairly well, I suppose when in that situation, you have a lot of time to come to terms with everything. I hope your parents and loved ones will be able to find peace when it's your time. Hopefully something changes for you.

I don't really have anything to say that hasn't been said.

Hope your family's doing OK.

/u/redditardsdurr, mean, inappropriate comment that drags the word 'liberal' into it for no discernable reason?

You will be missed.

Not by me. But you will be missed.

Fuck man. That's a tough one. I don't know what to say except that I'll ask god to fuckin knock it off with that cancer bullshit.

Get Cannabidiol. Fight.

Have you considered becoming a Toxic Avenger?

Awesome.

Fair enough. Take your place in Valhalla.

Say hi to mr lothbrock for me.

When did you find out?

How long have you known you've had cancer? How did you first suspect it?

How's that feel, fucker!?!

Damn man, that really sucks. I hope it's painless when you go.

HOW DID IT HAPPEN

Now I feel bad

That sucks dude.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afQadmUZOLw

I’m glad you’re not offing yourself to spare your moms feelings. real ass magnanimity.

However, if you did, be sure to leave a note, nay.. a video message blaming the cumias and their incessant bloodlust for child spit and vibrating eggs as causation for ending it all.

In all seriousness, I salute your bravery and may god bless you and your family.

At least you’re not Sam Roberts.

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Cancer is the biggest mothahucka

sending prayers brotherman. maybe we can get the destroyer to send you a droppen hammers shirt!

I am so sorry to hear this. Shit got a brotherman tearing up over here. God bless and keep laughing until the end. No homo.

Got a niggas... Tears runnin today

Big deal. Some guy I know has been a recovering alcoholic since he had three wine coolers at 17. You try dealing with that. All that aside, I’ll pray for you. Whether you believe in that sort of thing or not. But now is not the time for lack of faith. I’m glad your family is supportive. May I recommend “Who Is This Man” by John Ortberg. Fascinating reading, regardless of your beliefs. But seriously. He had like three wine coolers and made prank calls. It was touch and go for a while there.

I think Jim's alright really. We all make mistakes and say/do stupid things. 80% of the people on here are probably just as bad if not worse.

I would never betray a dead friend, so no, fuck Jimmy.

Which dead friend?

Patrice, by claiming Schumer did not lift his material.

"Yeaahhh.. well, cancer ... that's a tough one. Have you looked into a twelve step program?"

And here I was feeling sorry for you.

May I recommend “Who Is This Man” by John Ortberg.

Dude, seriously? That thing's like 224 pages, he doesn't have time for all that. Maybe "One Fish, Two Fish" or "The Hungry Caterpillar"?

Sorry that you're going through this, man. You're one of the few posters I recognize by username around here and you're one of the good ones. Just whatever you do, don't ask Jimmy for advice or he'll have you go to an AA meeting (which he won't name).

I'm so sorry. I will do whatever it takes to get Denny to spin at your funeral.

A bit of kratom and some cum should clear that right up.

I like to pretend I don't pay attention to usernames here but obviously you've been a treasured member of this stupid community for years. I'm really sorry to hear this, man. I hope your last days are comfortable and as drugged up as you can make happen. Pouring one out for you tonight. I will send positive vibes your way. Say hi to Chester for us :)

But keep your head on a swivel

Unlike Anthony, we are able to show genuine emotion when confronted with things such as mortality, love, and the human condition. If you should leave this earth, never forget that you lived your life as a good (albeit not infallible) human being. You made mistakes and you learned from them. You do not get perverse satisfaction out of saying the word 'nigger.' You are not a pedophile (I hope). So be grateful that you lived a more enriching 36 years that the Cumias lived in their combined 150 years.

Also, you don't need my advice or need me to tell you what to do, but don't forget that you can't take it with you. If it were me, I'd try to have some fun spending money on frivolous shit, give a homeless man an un-stomped cake, donate money to your preferred charity, or call up people from high school that you bullied like Billy Madison did.

I hope Joe doesn't try and paint this as another win for the Cumia boys.

I hope he does so we can trash him for it.

The second he does is the second I start up a mass email/phone campaign to any bar/church parking lot he performs at. Don't worry I don't have any kids and my audio situation isn't bad.

When you posted the close up of Cumia's face I assumed this was a joke post. This is much worse. : (

I was hoping to see a Rich Vos plug. . . it never came :(

Is it really much worse than Cumia's face? Let's be honest.

Good luck bro.

This isn't what I wanted to read on the shitter...

Thoughts n prayers brothaman.

well wishes

So sorry to hear this, sincerely. And it’s probably been said already in this thread but as our mutual friend Mr. Gregg Opie Hughes says, “Good luck bro.”

This is awful awful awful. I'm sorry to hear this.

Nice cancer, stupid.

If I could John Coffey that shit outta you, I would. Then Id spit it down Brother Joes gullet. Alas, I can only console you with awful civilian attempts at conedy.

you have to spread around pubescent hormones to lull joe into opening his gullet.

DUUDE, you get ur coffee enemas, no grains no sugars, and ur broccoli sprouts, BOOM you're smokin bats cancer free DUUDE! Seriously though, much love to you man! You have a great attitude with this horrible shit.

Thoughts and prayers, brothaman. I mean that sincerely, I would tell you if I didn't.

waves arms in a spasticated manner

If this is true , know that there IS A GOD IN HEAVEN and you’ll be comfortably kickin it in a better place. If you simply posted a close-up pic of your Loofa Brush then go fuck yourself

Wishing you well my friend. May I humbly suggest checking out this beautiful dialogue between philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti and Professor Allan Anderson on death.

May also be worthwhile to consider that the feeling of "center" before the name and any thought (the same feeling I feel as I write this and you feel as you read it) is the truer you than your name/memories. It is their basis.

Another humble offering, this amazing book by Zen Master Huang Po:

When people of the world hear it said that the Buddhas transmit the Doctrine of the Mind, they suppose that there is something to be attained or realized apart from Mind, and thereupon they use Mind to seek the Dharma, not knowing that Mind and the object of their search are one. Mind cannot be used to seek something apart from Mind; for then, after the passing of millions of eons, the day of success will still not have dawned. Such a method is not to be compared with suddenly eliminating conceptual thought, which is the fundamental Dharma.

Suppose a warrior, forgetting that he was already wearing his pearl on his forehead, were to seek for it elsewhere, he could travel the whole world without finding it. But if someone who knew what was wrong were to point it out to him, the warrior would immediately realize that the pearl had been there all the time. So, if you students of the Way are mistaken about your own real Mind, not recognizing that it is the Buddha, you will consequently look for him everywhere, indulging in various achievements and practices and expecting to attain realization by such graduated practices.

But even after eons of diligent searching, you will not be able to attain to the Way. These methods cannot be compared to the sudden elimination of conceptual thought, in the certain knowledge that there is nothing at all which has absolute existence, nothing on which to lay hold, nothing on which to rely, nothing in which to abide, nothing subjective or objective.

It is by preventing the rise of conceptual thought that you will realize Bodhi; and, when you do, you will just be realizing the Buddha who has always existed in your own Mind! Eons of striving will prove to be so much wasted effort; just as, when the warrior found his pearl, he merely discovered what had been hanging on this forehead all the time; and just as his finding of it had nothing to do with his efforts to discover it elsewhere.

Therefore the Buddha said, "I truly attained nothing from complete, unexcelled Enlightenment." It was for fear that people would not believe this that he drew upon what is seen with the five sorts of vision and spoken with the five kinds of speech. So this quotation is by no means empty talk, but expresses the highest truth.

• The Zen Teaching of Huang Po

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000NXMIXG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Wjs7zbFX7XWT

Another humble offering, this amazing book by Zen Master Huang Po:

I didn't know Master Po was so deep.

Osss

Ahhh! Death, gentlemen.

Thoughts and prayers man <3 at least we’ll always have loffs

Good luck, bro.

Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers.

I hope whatever time you have left is as fun as possible, bro.

What are you going to do if you go to hell and hell is you're a 16 year old girl locked in the compound?

Fair enough. Best of luck dude, hopefully you've got your affairs in order and its as painless as possible.

I’m sorry, guy. 5% is better than nothing.

RIP nigger. I have MS and some liver shit that are likely to take me out pretty soon, but not as fast as pancreas trouble does. Enjoy the drugs.

Philly Crew!

Where the FUCK is Father Dorris!?

Good luck bro

Energy in any isolated system like this universe can neither be created or destroyed, it can only change forms.

Therefore, you have NO excuse to not fuck with these guys and carry on the good work. Find Patrices energy and fill him in in case he's had better shit to do and then make this shit happen! I expect to see some serious poetic justice. The kind that leads to self awareness or the kind that leads to the most incredible ironic humor. You got this!

I wish you an easy transition to the next form.

Good luck brother. Thanks for the posts and best wishes man.

Tell Patrice hello for me. Then kick him in the balls for dying and leaving us with god damn Jim and Sam.

Fuck dude, sorry to hear that. Your comments always gave me a loff. I hope you make every day count. Sorry to sound like a faggot.

Ughhh...this is horrible. You are very brave being this open. I'm glad this Reddit has helped.

So, done random nurse is writing out "Feed Nana" and People's Court references?

That's pretty awesome right there.

Sorry to read this brotherman. I hope you enjoy every moment of however long you have

Hey man, just think of it this way, you’ll die before Ant so when he drops dead in 3-5 years you can welcome him to hell with a big FEED NANA sign.

I’ll say a few prayers for you and your family, brotherman.

I don't know you. We may or may not have talked in the past but I'm really bad at remembering names.

This makes me so fucking sad. I know we're a group of alt right neo liberal anarchist fascist faggots but god damn man. I really wish I had better words. I'm so sorry. Just know you are loved by the world's very most unlovable, the OnA subreddit.

Don’t be a little bitch with your “I’m about done”shit. We just found out Braun is Terry Clifford’s son and you’re going to quit now? Let’s see where we’re at next Christmas and maybe we’ll let you die. Good luck, buddy.

Tiger is right. We’re so close to seeing Compound Media collapsing. Stay strong!

Yuck like this sub literally has become cancer bleh. But seriously folks,thoughts and prayers thoughts and prayers

You’re a good egg. Won’t be the same without ya.

Sad shit. I promise you'll be immortalized in the "In Memoriam" reel next year. Putting it in my calendar.

some autist is gonna dox you with this pic of your cancer alone. hopefully when the time comes you'll have the strength to beat a scrawny pale basement dwelling stalker. i'm sure hospice patients are fed better than chicken fingers and diet dr pop, so on the bright side you'll beat the shit out of someone that is a cancer on society.

god bless.

if you see dr steve....run.

The Angel of Death

Cancer is a motherfucker, man. I’m genuinely sad about this. Genuinely, I would tell you if I wasn’t.

O&A forever bro, tell god the pests are coming. Punchin out b-b-b-boys

Eat shit and die faggot.... But if you want to come to California and do blow and fuck hookers with me I’ll find the whole thing, DM me.... cock sucker.

Seriously, DM me.

Fuck man, take it easy.

Do they allow hookers in that hospital, we can crowd find you some

Crowdfunding hookers for a terminally ill redditor?

&#x200B;

The beauty of the internet never ceases to amaze.

Doing the Lord's work.

I hope this offer still stands when I give myself lung cancer because I don't have a loving and supportive family like Mr. Cool Dying Dude over here.

How about when I get diagnosed with asshole cancer?

Jesus man. I know its a long shot but i hope you pull through.

I should really quit smoking.

My exact thoughts as well.

It’s the number one worst thing you can put inside your body (besides ants anal egg). Quit ASAP.

Just be gay and vape for a little while if you need help quitting. Easiest switch you'll ever make.

Second this. Weening down the nicotine levels vaping after a decade of a pack a day has worked well for me. Plus lungs don’t feel like shit anymore

But then you think you're cured and you can go back to smoking just when your drinking with your buds. Then you think you can treat yourself to a couple a cigs a couple times a week. Ya know, just when you're relaxing and want to enjoy a smoke. And before you know it you're back.

I know deep down if I'm quitting ciggs then I'm quitting coffee & booze as well. At least for a sizable amount of time. I can't have those two things without a nicotine craving.

I did that once and totally agree but usually takes a few tries forost people regardless. Vaping is just the easiest, quickest way to get off tobacco, especially if you love smoking but don't want the cancer or bad lungs.

Thoughts and prayers. I hope you get Dr. Steve as a hospice doctor. Love ya miss ya brothaman! ❤️

For real, I hope you are able to enjoy the Holidays with your family.

Just remember you are never alone brother.

I'm glad you were a part of this place brotherman and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. You and your family are in my prayers.

I think we were dicks to each other once but I'll forgive you if you haunt the Cumias and maybe make an appearance on TACS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7YM2WBhBCc

Nice cancer , stupid. Dibs on your sound bar.

Speaking of soundbars, there's a 'lil tyke that could use a hug when you get up there. Godspeed PM.

Will she have to step over your body to get it?

yo i think this counts as an N word license on the streets

Feed Nana

I barely ever stop by here and don't know you, but I found this really sad. I mean, this awaits all of us, I admire your attitude, might as well laugh at it all, this randomness.

I'm glad we made you laugh. Just remember not to give up until it's over-over. That small chance is still a chance, nigga.

You were a great poster and I always enjoyed reading your material. I feel like I've been seeing your name for years, we went together through all the craziest stuff here.

Your memory will fuel us when they shamelessly insult us by uploading audio diarrhea and tell us it's premium content. We will say to one another, PhillipMarma did not die for this. And well rally around your spirit, & stop at nothing for your vindication. You will be memed into immortality like the fallen brethren St. Ronin and St. DeadCats, whos life was cut short by a leaf from a tree that grows from the depths of hell itself all the way up to the earth, kratom. The green scourge.

When you get up there, please tell DeadCats I miss him when you see him. Tell him I wish I could VC with him again and make fun of stuff while playing private server WoW but getting bored of it before level 10. He said he would get me girls and be my friend if I moved to California some day. It was a very kind offer. And tell him for a week or 2 his mom kept his phone on because it was too hard for her to cut the line to it. He had the Discord app open when he died and when I saw his name in the sidebar I was creeped out, but then after sending a DM, my message reached his mom. I was able to tell her what a joy her son was to have around and that he even brightened some peoples days online too, who he didn't even know. and I am sorry for not writing in the Facebook memory book like she asked me to.

Love you buddy, thanks for being a great part of this 4 year rollercoaster with me, hoping you go out strong in the home stretch... and best of luck when you reach The Great Brotherman in the Sky. Peckas

Nice premature death, stupid

God, this fuckin reply really bummed me out. Never say die brothaman.

Radiosurgery? Saved Jimmy Carters life, Stg 4. It gives people hope who are late stage. I posted this already, but it probably got lost in all these comments.

Fuck!

Fuck that, what's that mean? Someone needs to John Q this shit.

Lol man I kind of thought when I heard it was happening that it would be a nightmare. But I guess we wouldn't be where we are today as a subreddit if we did what people expected us to do. I guess the whole sub is Irish brothers who show their appreciation by smashing each other and abusing one another until some outside source tries doing the same. Then it's time for ski masks and Libyan funded uzis and car bombs at funerals. It is my favorite place on the internet. Thank you for the kind words back and I'll keep that in mind in my life. It sure seems like a lot less of a cliche with more meaning when the source means it in a real way.

Nice giving a dying guy homework for the afterlife, stupid

PhilipMarma did not die for this

God bless you, sir. No joke.

Thank you for sharing. Cheers.

I hope you get to talk to Whoopi Goldberg and help some bitch make pottery on the other side. In all seriousness, Godspeed dude. Keep posting until you can't. If laughter is the best medicine, then Jim and Sam will have you dead before sundown tomorrow. Peace out, brotherman!

I hope you don't have to talk to her and help Demi Moore make clay things. It was the only pancreatic cancer joke I could come up with on short notice. Keep posting long as your able.

Bro you make it back here after a 5% chance of survival and you get to annoy us with "Guess I forgot to die". Don't blow that opportunity stupid.

Sorry to hear. Hopefully that 5% is all you need. If not, here’s hoping everything goes smoothly, and it’s much better on the other side.

Those same lines are in the beautiful Warren Zevon song 'Keep me in Your Heart' which is about his impending death. Like him you're dealing with all this bullshit with great humor. Hope I can do the same when it's my turn. We're all on that same path and we're gonna keep gradually trickling away until there's nothing left but the sub, which has proven indestructible. Thinking about you man. Stay strong.

Ugh that sucks buddy. Hopefully there is an otherside and you can meet up with Patrice and have a good loff over what a dumpster fire the O&A show has become

obscurity is a frightening state

While your dick still works, you should go all Louis CK on a couple of nurses. Not like losing your career would be that big a deal at this point.

See you at the crossroads so you won’t be lonely...

No but really... fuck you for making me feel things here. I don’t know what else to say other than I hope you go out peacefully.

See you on the other side, BROTHAMAN!

My mother was diagnosed with ampullary adenocarcinoma that spread to her pancreas in January. She had the whipple op in February, followed by two rounds of chemo but the fucker spread to her liver and last month she and her doctors elected to stop treatment. She's at home with my dad now for whatever's left. She's not going to a hospice.

Any words feel kind of cheap but I'm sorry and I wish you all the best of luck.

I am so sorry. We hear the expression "life isn't fair" all the time but it doesn't really mean anything until a situation like yours happens. Try and enjoy every minute you have with your family.

Wow, that sucks. I'm really sorry to hear it. But like someone mentioned, within a short amount of time, we'll all be gone. My mother died of cancer when she was only 48, while my father lived just shy of 90, and while Im grateful to have had my dad for all those years, the thing is, they're both dead now and it still feels like such a short time with them both. Even if we live until 100, which sounds horrible btw, time goes so fast, before you know it, everyone reading this will be gone. I just hope you can enjoy the time you have left, and who knows maybe you'll get a miracle. Good luck to you...I wish you all the best.

❤️

On the bright side, you have the rarest of benefits - knowing when you're going to die. I have to sit around with a big fucking question mark over my head. I've taken up chain smoking and it doesn't do a thing but make my cardio suck. See, who's the real victim here?

No but seriously, that is a rare blessing because you will get to put your house in order and making amends. But you should also collect rewards and I might suggest getting revenge on enemies while you still have your remaining strength. Then get right with God.

Seriously though, cancer is bad news. Hope you see 2019.

Listen B, I've trained with you and you're a m m m monster. Pretty much unbeatable at middleweight, so I mean watery doin hare? Listen my mans, ya gotta do better and if you're ever going to beat this case you gotta keep your ear to the grindstone and step up that werk ethics B. Also you posted your going to die, but you didn't tell your story, it's business 101 B, you gotta tell stories. Rhonda, Brock, CM Punk, DC, Conor all tell stories and they are major drawls. It's all water under the fridge my mans, werst case Ontario you catch a cold and die of your AIDS, I mean "cancer" and I will tell your story. Youre a beats bro, good luck, I think if you optimise some awlward angles, take some alpha brain, and work on your ground game you got this. You're my underdog pick B. What else ya got Chin?

Say it with me: "WE'RE GONNA BE OKAAAY!"

I’m sorry this is happening man....

Is there anything you wanna share with us about this disease? As in: what should we look for, warning sign wise?

How did you come down with PC? Genetically prone? Something else?

He mentioned he was a heavy smoker/drinker in his youth. Smoking is what got Swayze as well, that shit is packed full of carcinogens.

I'd rather have lung cancer than fucking pancreatic cancer. Yeesh. But I jog 5 miles without sunscreen, so I'm a fuck up too.

God bless you, u/philipmarma. I don't know what else to say.

The women in my family have to worry about Breast and Ovarian. I had an uncle that I think died of throat cancer (from smoking), or maybe it was my dad's dad (never met him because he died). Then I heard about someone in our family possibly having colon cancer at one point.

I guess I'm just trying to ask what anyone should look out for, to the point where they shouldn't ignore it any longer and should head to the doctor.

Im sorry you're going through this.

No lie, I'm gonna miss you on here dude. Be sure to haunt Joe, tell Patrice how finished his old friends are.

Don't blame yourself, fatigue and gi issues goes hand in hand with stress and being overworked. Symptoms are diffuse as fuck in Net Tumors.

You couldn't prevent this.

I’m already in contact with Von Decarlo who’s setting up an indie gogo campaign to fund a documentary about your life. Release is set for June-ish 3018. Just need a few donations to pay her rent first.

Honestly, If you’re going into hospice at any point, post the address so we can send you fleshlights and treats for nana.

It ain’t over until Bob Kelly sings.

If the after life is real, please send us some kind of message and don't Vos Roll us.

Keep your chin up, partner. You are about to go where every great person who has ever lived and died went. Whether that means anything or not... Godspeed

Let's hope it's Joe getting a heart attack while belching out with out without you on stage and the band sorta keeps playing anyway

i know its not much but i got a tank with 4 new vicious cichlids. I'll name one after you

You got it brother, so sorry. death is just the restart, you will be back. would you like me to call him Philip or Marma? Or shall I call him by his full name?

update: I named one, King Philip for you and King Philips War (name of amazing warrior part of my tribe in Massachusetts) and a girl named Marma (shes about to get the D from King P)

I just turned 39 a few hours ago. Was feeling kinda bummed about "getting old" but then your post gave me a sobering smack in the face. Henceforth, I'm going to remember and think of you on every subsequent birthday and count my blessings. Thanks again and no homo. ♥♥♥

Look at Mr. "Healthy I'veGotPlentyOfBirthdaysToLookForwardToo" over here...

Cancel or Save... Cancel or Save.. Fuck it.. SAVE

Thank you.

Fuck dude, I'm sorry. I don't suppose you could ask someone to continue to read the sub posts to you if you're ever at a point that you can't... "And then rapistwithaidsxyz said 'feed nana'. Don't know why but it's the top post today.. Anyway..."

That’s fuckin awful. Hope your remaining time is comfortable and you’re enjoying the drugs they’re giving you.

Heroin n lots of it! Iv already decided that if something is wrong im going out feeling good, thats why im saving that drug for last

its not that cool besides the drugs they give u are stronger than heroin

we need to get opie to euthanize this guy in the middle of his deathbed monologue

You still might outlive Anthony.

Truly hope you get to see some huge last event on here. Ant admits he likes boys, Sam's wife leaves him etc

if hell is real you need to find ant's mom and fuck her, it would be funny and also you deserve it for all of the horrible things that you've done and you might get some points for being proactive

If you’re going to die anyway, why not just kill Amy Schumer or some other hack. That would be the best but this sub ever pulled off.

Have you seen her lately? She doesn’t look very spry. I’m guessing you could pull it off.

This hits very close to home, my man. About three years ago in my late twenties I was diagnosed with lung cancer. They showed me the X-ray, it looked like a huge fucking tumor in my lower lung. It turned out it wasn’t cancer and I have a much less serious lung disease after they got a biopsy. I got lucky... I got the diagnosis you probably wish that you had gotten. I’ve always been a huge pussy in my life toward most things, I’ve been suicidal for years. But that awoke something in me and during the time I thought I had lung cancer I made a pact with myself to fight it to the death. I was going out swinging. Because fuck you, that’s why. All of previous “depression” seemed so insignificant. I know this doesn’t help one bit, but I’m drunk and I feel like typing.

Faggot (but yes knowing you probobly don't get to choose your death puts things into perspective)

I can arrange to have Jimmy Kimmel cry for you on TV. Would ja like that? Also, be thankful you don't have to listen to anymore "trump is orange" jokes. Shiieeet I'll take one of your stages negro

I'm a nobody, but for what its worth, I'm gonna remember you and your contributions until the day I kick.

So the 'Karma' points / system here doesnt work. Thats fucking bullshit.

... Good karma... Lots of points... !!

Remember and feed nana before you pop your clogs

ME ME ME

We get it!

This is the saddest post in the history of the sub. I'm so sorry. I hope you have the best hospice nurse who keeps you comfortable and a great team to help your parents.

Peace and love, brother. Keep fighting the good fight. ✌🏻🙏🏻❤

[removed]

I don't believe in an afterlife but if you end up there I hope you're hanging with Qadan drinking road sodas listening to those sweet sweet Vizio sounds. It's kind of crazy that it feels more impactful that it's happening to someone here of all places... I hope you don't die. At least you got to fuck your girlfriend and she kind of stuck around, really take into consideration how most people don't even have that.

So you get to open your presents early???? No fair!

Can I. . . um. . . Have them?

Have you tried Radiosurgery? Its supposed to work on St. 4

I bet that guy has been in radio since he was 18 too.

Say hello to Qadan from all of us.

But seriously wishing you the best and that you can outlast this! Take care.

Godspeed man, that's heavy.

Sorry man

hope you have fun partying at the Big Gay Apple Cowboy Ranch in the sky

If it makes you feel any better, you will probably join the legendary ranks of Kuhn and Fonner on Ant and Joe's list of "defeated trolls."

Seriously though, thoughts and prayers. I hope you and your family are spending lots of time together.

Hey PhilipMarma - I am so terrible with names of users online. I've been here since before Ant was fired as Flamgirlant and KikedyGold and a couple other names (gotta keep changing them so Ant's FBI contacts don't catch me). Despite being here for around 5 years, I only remember most of the people here vaguely, but you're one of the few I can actually remember really making me laugh with some of your comments. Just scrolling through the comments here, RES is telling me I've upvoted you more than anyone else in the thread (nice consolation, stupid).

I've thought a few times before (but never would have dared to actually post it) about how much I really appreciate a lot of the people here, even though I don't remember most of their names. O&A and R&F were both such a huge part of my life, and they're both in such unforgivably awful states now. This is one of the only places I can still find a similar brand of humor. It really makes me laugh a lot and has kind of filled a void in my life. At risk of sounding like I'm saying "we are the show now", this place really is the only thing in the O&A universe that has kept it alive in any meaningful way as far as I'm concerned and it's due to the good posters here. I really am thankful to have had people like you around this place. Fortunately until now, Ant and Jim have been kind enough to keep shitting up their lives in new and absurd ways every week so somehow this place has survived. Surely that has to come to an end at some point, but I've been thinking that for 4 years now.

This post has my mind running in strange ways. I'm fortunate enough to have all my closest family members around still. Some of them are getting up there in the years. I've been thinking about what it would be like to lose any of them. It would absolutely destroy me. It's so easy to take stuff like that for granted. If it wasn't so late, I'd call some of them right now. I'm seeing some of them tomorrow and I'm going to hug them extra tight. Thanks for giving me a reason to reflect on some of this stuff. I know it's just a reddit post, but you are tough as nails to be able to make a post like this and handle the responses so well. Good luck and godspeed. I'm very sorry you were dealt this hand. But most of all, I'm sorry for wasting your precious remaining time with my long faggy post.

I, I, I, I'm, I, I

I know, can you believe this PhilipMarma guy?

Well fucking said dude.

Hey dude if it makes you feel any better, over 100 billion people have came and went. You’re not special, faggot. We’ll all be seeing you soon enough.

That was meant to comfort you faaaaag. Don’t fear the inevitable.

Cancer doesnt sound like good karma.. Was trying to crack a funny... So is this just a troll post..

Did you get my message ?

I wish this were not so. I truly am sorry.

Never delete your account here please. Reading this has got.me harder than ive ever been before.

I havnt cum this many times in 1 night since 9/11.

My wife passed recently of cancer as well, I'm sorry you have to experience this. One thought that got us to the end with our sanity was that she would know the truth about the absolute biggest mystery in life. It's so fucked, but hey it's something.

She is and always will be an enormous part of me. Memories are a powerful thing, so know that you will still be very much present in the minds and hearts of your loved ones, affecting and helping steer their decisions for years to come.

If you even have loved ones, that is. See you on the other side, faggot.

100% a troll on that Colin fag right?

Obligatory nice pancreas, stupid. How is this not Joe Cumia’s fault?

You can be a growth on my back any day

ME: have you ever really thought about chemo?

Even though I am healthy and seemingly have decades left in my life, the eventuality of death haunts me. I know I will probably feel nothing when in a state of non-existence, but still it terrifies me. To be nothing and then eventually pass from all memory.

All this is to say that reading your post and all its replies has been really affecting to me. I will remember it and I will remember you. I will try to use the time that I have left in the best ways I can. I won't always succeed on that front, but in those moments when I am feeling shitty and full of self loathing, I'll remember that I was randomly given more time than you and I shouldn't waste it. It's a small legacy, but it's all I can promise.

It's bittersweet, but still nice to think these antics give people some form of brief, fleeting joy while on this earth. Goodbye PhilipMarma, I will miss upvoting your comments.

You try any vitamin C injections and cannabis oil?

So sorry, man. We will keep up the fight, some day we'll join you for a nice IPA in gay heaven.

Just woke up to this news, and heard in my head that huge gulp that BoBo did when he was busted for being the few-cha-tiv.

That fucking comic book gulp is legendary.

thats terrible, I'm sorry

&#x200B;

Hey man, I'm really sorry to hear you're having to face this.

If your number happens to come up, all I really have to say is you're one of only 15-20 people on this sub I can ever specifically remember--if that's worth anything.

Not to be too selfish, but if you do croak, and there is an afterlife, please say hi to my dog Charlie. He took his George Harrison tribute act a little too far last month, after fourteen years.

Wishing you the best, and other things that offer no tangible benefits!

For that gay post I am going to find your grave and shit on it.

Or maybe I'll just bring a dog. And disembowel the little faggot all over your fresh seedling-sprinkled dirt. Depends on my mood.

are you married to patton oswalt by any chance?

Sorry to hear that my man, I'm about as suicidal as you can get, but seeing posts like this helps put things in a bit more perspective. I should stop being such an emo fag. Hope you get all the drugs you want before you go, at least. Rest easy.

got a nigga eyes leaking

tell steve c we now know sam killed him

Sorry man, good luck bro🖒

Say hey to Ant for us.

Thoughts and prayers

ME: Wanna give a shout out to my brothaman, goin through some serious shit right now and we’re all pulling for y-

Hang on hang on, Snowy wants in on this, SNOWWWAYYYY, whaddaya got for us?

ME: HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON

Another victim of kratom abuse.

Lots of love around here, powerful stuff.
I hope you have a safe travel up there and that you get to meet everyone. Say hi to Otto from me.

You've got terminal cancer? Go.

❤️

Gonna suck not seeing your name around this shithole anymore. You're one of the good ones. Hope the time you have left is filled with comfort, peace, and happiness.

I lost my Father to pancreatic cancer. I watched as he wilted away like flowers do. I think about him everyday and miss him dearly. I wish you and your loved ones peace. Stay strong until the end.

Haunt Joe Cumia. Break his guitar strings right before his shows on all his guitars. Thanks in advance.

Damn dude, I didn't even know you existed before this post but i'm really gonna miss you.

Free nana up in heaven brothaman

That's a rough one. The pancreatic is a real motherfucker.

On a related note, perhaps you should listen to the This American Life episode about the people that didn't tell their dying mother she was dying of cancer. Then she just weirdly kept on living. So perhaps if you truly don't give a fuck, you can beat it.

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/585/in-defense-of-ignorance

Fuck man, that’s a rough go. Can you take Sam and Opie with you? Or send them instead? Maybe you can work a 2 for 1 with the old man upstairs. (No not Ant, God)

I'll pray for you. Even if you're not religious.

I'm sorry to hear about your health. say hello to that lil Kuhn for us.

Love ya, miss ya!

Hits close to home. Rest easy brother.

Are you gonna fuck Roe?

Take care👍🏻

What were your symptoms? I think I might have the same problem.

Well.....this isn’t funny at all. I’m sorry to hear and hope your still with us for a long time to come. I like you.

Any last requests?

that sucks. they should do something about this cancer thing.

godspeed, brothaman.

Brit fag here.

I wish you a peaceful Christmas and may you bone the ghost of Ro Cumia.

Revelation 21:4

Love and prayers man. I’m sorry.

So sorry my friend.

sorry to hear about your situation :(

Maybe the sub could reach out to Opie, Anthony, and Jim for one last show for this guy. I think it would be a decent thing.

Sorry to hear that Bick.

36 with stage IV pancreatic cancer. That’s just not fair. Have you tried taking NyQuil?

So it is confirmed that there are worse things than Opie's podcast?

&#x200B;

If there is another side I really hope you don't meet Christopher Hitchens. He's going to be pissed...

Good luck bro

Wtf man. Truly One of the few cool ones here. This fucking sucks. How did you find out you had it? Like what were the symptoms? Also can I have your leftover drugs after ya go?

Enjoy the time you have left here sir before you leave. You’ll be missed. God speed.

That’s terrible, I’m sorry Than you for your service You’re a good egg Good luck bro Tell’em Fred B is a C who likes D in the A Golf clubs again? Wee doggies Rock scream Tuesday Cat meow Wednesday Your moms box

You're really strong dude, I hope if I ever get sick I can handle it with as much dignity and class as you but I feel in that respect I will probably be a bit closer toward the Cumia end of the spectrum. God bless and good luck with the next few months!

Who the fuck is Phillip Marma?

Most people in my life could drop dead today and it would bother me less than some guy I didn’t interact with on an online community for a dead radio show.

Enjoy the time you got left, brothaman.

Well atleast you didn't die because your father decided to steal a speaker with you in the car so you got that going for ya

Well I hope you aren't related to Anthony... He probably won't come see you since it'll be awkward

I'm sorry to hear it and hope you go comfortably, surrounded by people who love you.

You'll become Sans

Hold on, brotherman. You're a good egg.

Love life to the fullest with what energy you have left. Do things. Say things. Appreciate the little things as well as the great. Make peace with God. We want you happy and at peace, bro. Please keep us posted of your journey. Godspeed, bro.

See him no mo

You're the Bill Hicks of the sub.....Phil Dicks.

Even someone in Holland taking a dump right now is sending you his regards. It stinks, the cancer thing too btw.

I with you well man. Thoughts and prayers

Keep strong my man. If you ever run into Steve C, tell him he's a good egg

Fuck, man. You are a notable poster here that consistently makes me laugh. Life really sucks, but at least you enjoy Patrice before all of us fags show up ballwashing.

TBH, you are going out like a warrior against a beast...and not that pussy-ass skin cancer. Much love my dude. You will be missed here, but also needed for a higher purpose soon. Maybe to launch and moderate an o&a sub in the sky?

PS - Who you got in the 2019 r/o&a deathpool?

pussy ass-skin cancer

^{Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This comment was inspired by xkcd#37}

Long time lurker, first time comforter. I'm really sorry. You are brave beyond words, and I feel awful for not appreciating crap in my life. May the luck of the Irish be upon you or something. You're 5 percent survival odds are a billion percent better than everyone already dead. Peace and love.

So if you ever want some tips or videos in meditation just let me know. I won’t push my spiritual beliefs on you, but if what I believe is correct you’re going to a blissful 5th dimensional existence. Also we’re living in a simulation. So like, you get to leave the hologram and see if I’m right. That’s kinda cool right?

Tell us more about the stoned ape theory, Rogan.

We’re on a rock firing through space man

Well this is by far the faggiest bleeding heart post this sub has ever embraced, but damn man, you can’t be vicious all the time.

Wish you the best and I hope you outlive the predicted expected time left.

And thanks for being a part of the most bizarre community ever to spawn on the internet.

Shit sorry man, what's the 5 year survival rate like for death?

tHe JeWs HaVe FoUnD a CuRe...

Start booting heroin. You've got nothing to lose!

Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers.

I'm so sorry. It has to be a fuckin' kick in the ass to get that news. Any plans to go out in a wild fashion, or are you just spending as much family time as you can?

You’re a good dude, Philip Marma. I’m pulling for you. Please keep up posted

Dude, according to RES, I've given you like 60+ karma. That's gotta be good for something, right? Right?

That'll be on St Peters board when he gains entrance to the Pearly Gates I'm sure

This really makes me sad man. I saw pancreatic cancer take my grandfather in mere months. He suffered the entire time so I really wish you the best. Just stay comfortable as much as possible.

What kind of symptoms did you have or why did you go to the dr?

Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers :(

When I die I'll wave up to you from hell. Love ya bud.

https://themighty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/xpew-pew-fuck-cancer-meme.jpg.pagespeed.ic.kKIiuY11wV.webp

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, not even Joe deserves this. We might be despicable panera bread engineers, but if there's anything you could use help with, please ask!

Thoughts and prayers

I hope you get to play Red Dead 2 before you die

Good luck, bro.

Sorry to hear about this. Been dealing with a family member who has cancer also.

Not sure if you're religious but I'll say a prayer for you anyway brotherman.

People healthier than Anthony Cumia 1/1000000

What makes me angry is that brother joe gets more time on this earth than you. Also, Hitler got more time on this earth than you. It's very confusing to me.

Your mom's box

Very sorry to hear. My father in law is going through pancreatic cancer but so far it's operable. It's a real motherfucker. Good luck bro

I took another look at that image you posted with clearer eyes and I can see the acinar structures (right side mostly) and some ducts with large areas of stromal/fibrous tissue in between with the glands looking pretty bland to me. I know this is a histologic section of your pancreas but I don’t see the tumor. How about you find a better photo of what’s going to kill you.

His hisological section capped out

Dude, just start shooting H. fuck it.

I lurk here and don’t post much, but I can’t believe you’re gonna die before Bobby Kelly. It’s a damn shame. < insert “Thanks for your service” and other trite show quotes here>

Peckahs.

Also if you become a ghost, punch Von in her ovaries for what she’s done to Patrice’s memory.

High five Hitler for me when you get to heaven. Sorry about your luck, hope they put you on something heavy by the end so you can go out zooted!

I wonder if Joe will claim this as another victory over this sub. Stay strong mate!

Look at the bright side, you lived a full life by Ethiopian standards, so don’t be such a fucking baby about it.

In all seriousness, fight until the end, and try and get the hospice nurse to tongue your balls right before you check out.

Heaven will be 2016 /r/opieandanthony. We're losing all the OG's.

Save me a seat near the TV and away from the Fat Joker.

Sorry to hear this. How long have you been getting treatment?

Hey Dude. So sorry to hear this my wife father went out to this cancer so I know a little bit about this disease and that its a fucker. Thanks for the laffs and don't forget to tag your last post with a Vos plug. Seriously, be good to yourself for the time you've got and feast on those happy pills.

Wait....and you're spending your final days hanging around this shithole with these fucking degenerates?

Laughter being the best medicine and all that, I guess.

Seriously though...sorry you were dealt this shitty hand.

Yeah because not doing this so much better? Please enlighten me, getting stoned and teasing Joe is my favorite thing to do. Going out with the absolute faggots we call actual friends is shit. If you dont realize how boring people around you are you haven't been paying attention

Aww, I'm sorry a hurt your feelings.

Careful slingin' all that edge around, man. Someone might get cut.

What is your biggest regret?

This is the weirdest forum of any kind on the internet. We all get together to shit on three (or more) (or less, cuz Opie is actually the real homie) people we all used to love as entertainers. We say some of the worst shit that can be said and to the outside world we are the lowest class of high tier human monsters. Yet, occasionally there are these real moments of compassion and oneness. It really is a trip.

Sorry to hear about your bad news, brothaman. Hopefully you have/will make peace with it and find a way to enjoy your last days as much as you can. I genuinely mean that. I’d tell you if I didn’t.

Say hi to that fatso from the subreddit who died. Tell him he's repulsive and we're all glad he's gone.

Shit man, I'm turning 37 next week. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Just Remember to good times growing up in the 80's Thundercats and Voltron, none of this Daniel Tiger shit.

As one last nod to the sub could you be buried in a purple suit (and a giant coffin?)

Awful news though, you seem to be handling it like a fucking champ. I admire your balls sir.

Rage against the dying of the light, cocksuckah!

Seriously, though.

Jesus Christ, tell Patrice if he’s cold up there.

Can’t even hope the best since you’re donezo. Fuck.

Ah fuck. I'm really sorry to hear this.

Apparently, I've upvoted your comments 98 times. I'll give you one more for the Gretzky, but that's it. You apparently didn't suck.

However, before you go, you may as well learn a couple secrets of the universe that might put you at ease:

• There will be no Opie & Anthony 2^nd Annual Animation Festival

• The Traveling Virus Tour isn't coming to your town again anyway.

• The Offensive Song Competition will never get an official winner.

• Opie never really intended to give $10,000 to the person that found his dollar bill.

I hope it ends easy, and your family finds peace. Now hit the bricks, stupid.

Dude, this sucks to hear, especially with Blobert Kelly's fat ass still lumbering around.

But in all seriousness, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Be with those you love, do the things you like that you still can do, and make sure you say what you need to say to anyone.

And in the words of Ronnie B, we'll see ya next time comin' through. ❤️

13 hours have passed, are you still with us?

Ah man, you're one of the few regular posters who seem like they wouldn't be a piece of shit IRL. That's terrible, I'm sorry.

You are one of the few posters here where something like this isn't good news. I hope you find some joy in the time that remains, maybe even get witness Ant's bankruptcy.

Praying for you brotherman.

Love ya miss ya!

Sorry man, hope you live out your days with a smile. Also it was nice to see these fools have a heart after all no?

&#x200B;

No one said "Nice Cancer Stupid"

&#x200B;

Good luck

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Take the bad Colin w/ you. That'll do, pest. That'll do.

I'll kindly sponge bath you for whatever pain meds you have left over at the end. You're a good egg. The joke is always on the people that are left behind. Enjoy your eternal peace, stupid.

Jesus man, getting some sort of malignant cancer in my 30s is like one of my worst fears. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers my man. C U when you get there.

I'm really sorry. Life is fucking unfair.

death by cancer before christmas fa la la la la. You lasted longer than O&A fa la la la la.

God be with you, Brothaman

Maybe it's a light case of cancer

Good luck Philip. Stay strong brothaman. Hopefully you’re still around when Ant’s book bombs. Sibby’s got a spot on his black couch in the clouds for you.

that sucks buddy :( im sorry

Good luck. Sorry to hear it.

If you're religious I hope you go to the good version of your afterlife.

If you aren't religious... You won't even know you're dead so it can't be that bad. Right?

I hope your next few months are good.

Which member of the O&A Universe do you want us to continue tormenting in your memory?

Your reddit nick will be burned into his shitty retinas for all eternit, causing his wonky tits wife to leave him eventually and take the homosapian/Neanderthal mix child with her.

Good man.

See you on the other side friend

That fucking sucks dude. I’ve seen your name here for a while.

God bless

Can I pretend we were close and use this news to guilt women into pleasuring my genitals?

u/PhilipMarma

I've checked this thread multiple times today so your life is my life. Life is shit.

Don't forget "Your Mom's box" before you go.

I hope knowing that Anthony Cumia's book launch will be a humiliating cold bucket of water in the face for him will bring you some comfort in your final weeks.

You have a +5 next to your name so you must have made me heartily laugh several times and I never upvote anything.

Thanks for that. Take care dude.

What reader are you using?

RES

Ok a few questions. Who will you haunt in the afterlife?

Can you give a message to Joe Sr for us? The message is "Racists can enter into contracts too"

If you decide to go the suicide route I recommend trying heroin for the first time. AKA the Artie Lange. If you choose suicide can you leave a note and blame it not on cancer but that you lost all hope when someone turned on a Lena Dunham show and walked away leaving you no other escape?

God bless my friend.

Have you made a bucket list? If not I can help you:

1. Steal a vizio soundbar

2. Buckle the toddler in.

3. Feed Nana

For real.. I read this and started bawling my eyes out like the little bitch that I am.. I have no idea who you are. That is fucked up.

I wish I could do something. I can't.

I really don't know what to say.

Good Luck Bro comes to mind but just doesn't seem to be enough!?!?!

&#x200B;

FWIW my Pancreas has thrown me in the hospital like 3 or 4 times. It is the worst pain I've ever felt. I hope to God that's not what you're going through.

You made me well up dude.. Life is so fucked uo sometimes....

I'm so sorry that you won't get to see the ultimate downfall of Nana. Maybe you'll get one of those Make A Wish miracles and he'll blow his brains out the day before you die so you can go out with a smile.

Well that's good you'll be able to start living again after Christmas.

Thoughts and prayers

So who's announcing it when you die?

Someone posted a thread saying I died when I forgot my password to my old account and created a new username. It had only been three days since I placed on the old account.

I hope the next time your parents order dominos it arrives warm instead of hot for doing this to you.

Hope the next few months are the best they can be. Thinking about you and not taking things for granite. You’re a brave one for sharing.

Yeah he should take things for limestone instead or somethin

God speed, good fellow 💙

ehh, don't worry about it. I'm certain there's an afterlife, go watch a gore thread on 4chan you'll feel better about yourself.

We'll put you in the hall of fame with that other guy's kid who he threw on the road or whatever. Bye

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. You are in my prayers. 🙏.

I know exactly how you feel. Cancer is my astrological sign.

I can’t even imagine getting this news, very sorry to hear this. While things are pretty gloom for you now, it’s not as if they are telling you that you need hospice care. I realize they only gave you a 5% chance of making it until Christmas but it’s not zero. I will hope for the best for you and just keep doing what the doctors tell you. Take care

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Your story could really help someone. I wish the best for you and your family. I admire your courage!

Rich Vos will be appearing at the Omaha funny bone October 12th.

Can you say "your mom's box" for old times' sake?

Start changing your diet progressively add more fruits and vegetables and eat more digestible food like spelt bread and hummus and vegetables and chickpeas and nuts and stuff, you can reverse your cancer stupid, people do it all the time, give it a whirl and change your life forever

What if you live? Don't lost hope bro. I'd seen crazier stuff in my life.

Alright "/u/PhilipMarma" pick who you want a get-well-soon Cameo video from and we'll start a collection.

(Just nobody give Jim the password to the GoFundMe account! Amirite?!?)

In the words of a very wise man “Good luck Bro”

Fuck dude, this is heavy. it truly breaks my heart. I want to send you my love.

Shine on brother. Your energy will always live on. I dont even know you but i love you, faggot.

Sorry to hear. Life can be a motherfucker. I hope you can go without much pain. If there is an afterlife tell Patrice everything.

Hey dude hope you are happy and that everything happens peacefully, whatever it may be. I want you to know you have inspired me to go see a doctor for a checkup for the first time in my adult life. I am finally in a position where I can affors it but I keep ignoring it because I come from trash. Thanks for the post it has made me think about alot of things this week and made me more grateful for what I have.

Sucks to hear this. One of my friends and coworkers recently passed from liver cancer. Make yourself as comfortable as you can.

Oh fuck. I'm just finding out about this. I don't really know you or even remember your posts, but damn man. First they take u/killakuhn away from us and now this. These Jews are really something else, aren't they?

Is it too late to try extended fasting?

See Gary Null

✌🏻

Okay it's been a day, lets wrap this up and drop the pin.

A feminist would quench her thirst on the amount of man tears I’m production right now. Sorry brothaman

I always enjoyed your posts, man. This makes me so sad. I lost 2 aunts to cancer within a month this summer. It's horrible. Take some LSD and get a peek at the other side. It seems to be tremendously helpful for people in your situation. Hold your family close.

This may be a small consolation, but your nana will not want for anything. I can guarantee you she'll be well provided for.

I just want to apologize in case I ever called you a fag or something on here. If I did, you probably deserved it. It’s not like cancer makes you a better person, after all. If anything it makes you worse in a lot of ways. You’d still be the same fag with or without it. I’d still want to apologize though because man let me tell you, the last thing I need is a guilty conscious on top of all my other problems. I won’t get too much into it since everyone has their own crosses to bear, but do you ever just feel like you’re a little more unlucky than most people? Probably just me. Anyways good luck with the gofundme or whatever. I’ll definitely donate lol.

spoiler 😢

Get well soon

Thoughts and prayers.. seriously though, I feel so fucking awful that a young guy like you is going through this bullshit. Life is unfair.

Have you tried fasting?

I'm sorry to hear about this. I have never been sick but there have been times my crazy brain has thought it was and it was bad enough, having that validation from the doctor that it is true has to be a hard thing to handle. I am glad you have family and friends that will be there for you.

Good luck, bro

Is that a picture of jim nortons family reunion?

See you on the other side buddy.

Good luck bro

... But seriously, sending you a big virtual hug.

I hope you see by reading through these almost 1,000 comments that you are indeed cared about. Hopefully that is some consolation for you, I know it would be for me.

Are you dead yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZZupDuprhU

Which has a better future outlook: PhilipMarma or Anthony Cumia's career?

95% vs 99%

Promise me you'll put Vos dates on your headstone.

Promise me.

god speed, stranger.

Hey man I've been lurking for a while and haven't posted in a few years here. I'm sorry to hear about what your going through. You seem like a pretty cool guy and I hope that there is a miracle for you. Thoughts and prayers.

Life sure MOTHER FUCKED you. Sorry to hear, take care man. I'd do the heaven shit but I am an atheist, enjoy nothingness Cancaman!

Seriously though this shit killed my Grandmother in January, very sorry it's happening to you.

Hey man I don’t know what your beliefs are but keep your thoughts positive on the way out. You never know what’s on the other side. You’re a good egg

100% proof this sub gives people cancer.

Haha eat shit faggot! Is the pain from the cancer worse than the fact you posted on this sub?

I’m a fag cause this has me crying right now. Godspeed into that good night my friend.

That’s heartbreaking, very sorry to hear this. I’ll say a prayer for you & try to never give up hope.

Don't know what to say other than best wishes ... I've read most of the comments in this thread, I hope we've helped you through this dark hour. It has certainly made me think about life and death.

You're in our thoughts around the world, buddy.

Bick is a fat piece of shit.

am i supposed to upvote or downvote this post

stay strong, brothaman

RAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! That's what you get for putting your dick in Freddy Mercury!

Hey man !!! I'm sending u a big hug ( no homo) you keep looking out for us and we will keep things on level here g. We will send you jokes and memes. You just take it easy and enjoy things. We are all loco here but that being said I do think you guys are hilarious fucks and I just know you we are with you

Godspeed Phil.

Repent before it is too late

I am same age as you Dude I can’t explain what I am feeling right now. Hope you cherish every last moment man. I don’t know what else to say

Enjoy your final weeks. A patrice beating awaits you in heaven. Il keep you in my prayers.

Jesus man, this is some seriously heavy shit. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you are going through and what is going through your mind right now.

I hope you are able to spend your remaining time here doing things that you find to be fulfilling.

Maybe you should get a bunch of psychedelic drugs and just trip your balls off until the end, or smoke copious amounts of marijuana. Then you can say "Stay high till I die" and fucking mean that shit.

I hope you are able to gain some inner peace somehow. Thoughts and prayers, for real.

Godspeed brother.

Good luck bro!

Let us know when you die so I can release the Bobo Documentary. It has to be after because I already put the thing "Dedicated to the Memory of Philip Marma" and it seems weird if you're still alive and see it.

Also, leave a picture of yourself somewhere because if not that cancer x-ray is going to be the picture of 'you' that appears above your name and slow fades away. Thanks buddy.

It’s tough man.. For reals tho, tomorrow is never guaranteed but knowing your expiration date must feel daunting. I love you.

In the event you do make it to Christmas, expecting any gifts?

Sending prayers brother man. Youve managed to show that Pests really like to laugh at the expense of others, but that deep down they are also kind hearted and stand up dudes. Thats a big accomplishment my bro

Cheers. Rest easy

Stay strong motherhucker! Time to hit that bucket list!

Well at least you can call god a faggot to his face on his birthday. Sorry to hear man. I suck at this stuff, but all my best to you and your family. I enjoyed your company here.

See you on the other side

Cancer deleted OP my mans

Rest in peace. He's in a better place now fellas. And by that I mean eternal darkness.

How about go to Ant's house and mock him for not having his guns anymore to scare you off

"1 star. Book gave me cancer."

He'd tell you if he wasn't. Honestly.

Osss

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So, done random nurse is writing out "Feed Nana" and People's Court references?

That's pretty awesome right there.

100% Italian

I take back my thoughts and prayers; I thought they were going to a white person.

Which dead friend?

Ahhh! Death, gentlemen.

I smoked for 38 years, 1-2 pks a day, and then quit almost 4 years ago. Chantix for the first 4 months and that did the trick. Not a single puff since. You can do it. I’m not saying I don’t think abt it daily but I’ve gone too far to give in.

Conservative family values, like get a job, don't have kids when you're not married, don't tax me like crazy.

You really stick to phrases, like an autistic child. Ball busting really got to you, huh?

Just get bloodwork done on a yearly basis. There’s really nothing else u can do