That back line really tied the empty church parking lot together, man. I'll also give them $500 for the band and $20 food vouchers and $10 beer tickets per person

I'll also give them $500 for the band...

Sadly, buying and selling Cumias was outlawed by Congress in the mid-1800s.

Take an uber, grandpa

Did you pretend to be a club owner you rascal, you?

Omg post it

No effect on their lives

Do you think this is real?

*This place literally broke his retard brain

Good point, and you would expect those to be more resilient. Fewer moving parts.

aahahahah holyshit

LOL!!!!!!!!!

Any man who has to say "I am not a pedophile" constantly may in fact be a pedophile

"I mean.... they all think I am anyway; I might as well try it"

I hope this is legit, I'm fuckin dyin

It sounded legit until the pedophile thing, at which point it sounded like utter bullshit. Might as well have been a Vos plug.

I basically feel the same way but I'm holding onto the 1% chance it's real

If this is legit, my guess is that Joe realized it was a troll, and knows we hound him for the "I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE" quip, so he thought it'd be smart to use that as a go-to to show that he knows you are a troll texting him.

That was thoroughly entertaining to read. My god its like he had a stroke

Why would he type this? Hahaha

Oh my fucking god. This can’t be real.

This is even too perfect for this sub. But somehow I know joe would be the stupid.

How can be?!

I refuse to believe this is real, we need some sort of verification.

"Joe is dumb"

Understatement of the year.

why is he laughing about being called a pedophile?

I find your ID distasteful but your prank delicious! Thank you for this

Joke's on you Booger Eater! You've been BACKTRACED!

"Joe is dumb"

Understatement of the year.

It's not that he's being pushy, it's mostly that he's just a do-nothing asshole with an inflated self worth who thinks he has a nice little system set up.

He texted back in all caps I am not a pedophile 3 times with a middle finger emoji. Told him if that’s how he acts I am glad we decided not to book 2U.

I see you posted screens but this part deserves its own thread.

Lmaooooo

I think everyone should waste his time like this.

I mean he doesn't work.....

This could get the subreddit banned FYI. Tread lightly

I mean, he does publicly list his number.

To the point he starts turning down real gigs because he assumes it's another fake

Hold on hold on hold on. This man may need an award, is this the next move boys? Have Spit throat Joe so paranoid that he's not even able to accept actual gigs??

"Spit throat Joe" Fucking marvelous.

Can we get fake Roland on this to start booking him around the country? Someone here has the cash to pony up some plane tickets to make it seem legit...

That’s the bit

The more times he's trolled like this, the less certain he is when legitimate bookers contact him. If he loses even one gig through cursing out a legit club owner as a Libtard troll, it is worth it.

So fucking funny

I don't know about this, it's a tough one... Some might consider this harrassment since you're contacting him directly on his phone. Funny as shit nonetheless

I don't disagree

You should file a police report.

Lol harassing you at that point. What a queen

I wished you stretched out the back and forth texting even longer. It was still fun to read.

Everybody should send him similar messages to the point where he can't trust anybody contacting him if he's being mocked (again) or if there is any real interest to book that piece of shit band.

This is fun to use if you want to annoy the shit out of him. I used it on the two people calling me after getting doxxed by Nana.

Thanks. I just called Joe a child spit gargler

Should have seen how far you could jew him down

"Shows in So. Bend are 10k?" Nigga really wanted 10k?

You ever been? It’s a fucking dump.

Someone gainfully employed there probably only makes double that a year.

Thats the bit

Its the big times. You know how dense of a population there is in So Bend? And ALLLL of them YUGE U2 fans

joe you dumb bitch

This man needs no parody.

He’s driving members in AND flying in two members? Who does he manage, 2U or the Eagles? Go down to the nearest Guitar Center, I promise you’ll find twenty losers who can do what anyone in 2U does way better than any of them.

business class only

He left out the clause in the contract where he demands a bowl of M&Ms but with all the #!;;-: ones taken out.

With a side of child spit.

Did he seriously reply with that pedo shit and emojis? What a fucking loser

We've spent way more on crap bands and terrible tribute bands.

You're giving him a boner.

I really thought this was actually an insult in itself. Like I pay more for shitty bands so no problem paying you less for your super shitty band

Understood, but all Joe sees is "I overpay on the regular."

I'd say half if we rounded up.

Only this once. Don't start giving me credit

How much for the Solo Joe Acoustic Show?

Costs extra to keep replacing the blown out Phil Collins drum microphones

you guys are little pieces of sand and Joe is a vagina.

Why is he providing a range? No shit I'm gonna go for the 4k value. I'll hit up craigslist

Jesus Christ leave this poor fuck alone.

Why?

There is no way anyone pays $6k for Joe to sing U2 songs.

Haha HOLY SHIT.

Bro, he doesnt want 6k. Its 10k plus 4 to 6k. So 14k to 16k is what this fuck wants

How does he fit all of his equipment and himself on the short bus?

That is so fucking sad. Why the fuck would he to rent a PA system? He doesn’t have one? Lmao

He mentioned flying in, maybe if they fly they're not bringing equipment?

If I was going to pay that, I'd demand that fake bono got the chin job he needs to complete the look.

He is the spitting image from the side, with the glasses on, but when he faces the camera he has the weak chin of one of the hobbit Polish that Hitler.

It was 2300$ for the bar the broke contract. He doesn't really think he's worth more after that. He can't think that.

Which is far more than a bar should pay for that shit

I contacted him to perform for my son's birthday, asked him how much spit he would have to accumulate in order for then to play vertigo. He sent me a picture of gay porn.

Let’s figure out how to get Joe to appear without any money up front.

You should text him back and book him for a NAMBLA event or something like that.

Joe couldn't play a NAMBLA event since he's too busy as NAMBLA's treasurer.

I bet a lot of promoters/club owners laugh in his face on a regular basis when he floats those numbers around.

So these hobbyists are getting roughly a G plus expenses? Not bad.

I wonder if there is a green room rider to the contract?

1. A working TV/DVD combo with Sons of Anarchy box set(s)
2. 3-5 items of Sons of Anarchy cosplay gear.
3. 2 cases of Bud Light (chilled)
4. One child capable of projectile spitting.

I think this place needs to start issuing medals

"Spit throat Joe" Fucking marvelous.

Can we get fake Roland on this to start booking him around the country? Someone here has the cash to pony up some plane tickets to make it seem legit...