Anything involving his undermining of the other production staff, on air, as he began to stab back's to step over the fallen.

Also, that time Opie called Bobbie a cunt on air, and Cro-Mag was torn over defending his mother while still kowtowing to The Destroyer.

u/Saralinn will no doubt have some salient suggestions for the Whoo Kid era.

Yeah I have a DJ Whoo Kid Playlist if Anyone Wants to listen.... I can make a Doc like Beige or Porsalin regarding The Sam and Whoo Kid Era..... Just let me know if ur interested.....Also Porsalin if u r making a Sam doc u can use my playlist too.......😉👧🏼💕💋🌹🎠👗💄🌷👙.

Always a delight, Emily.

Thanks I thought so too 👧🏼💕👙🌷💋💄👗🎠🌹

I like how youre honest about going from a size 1 dress to a fattie in a bikini

Fuck you

What u Don't like DJ Whoo Kid???? 👧🏼💕🌹💄💋🌷👗👙🦄

No it’s you I don’t like

I'm staring to enjoy dis biznitch

Thanks 😉👧🏼💕👗🌷💋💄🌹👗

yw hottstuff ;)

Oh I'll send u my Playlist when I get home..... I loved the O&A After show with Sam Roberts he was good at that sometimes he had Whoo Kid on or Nicole Ryan.....Sam started his own show with DJ Whoo Kid and Nicole Ryan on 6/2014.....then the show changed when Opie made Sam move to the night shifts it wasn't as good DJ Whoo kid or Nicole wasn't on it anymore so......as far as anything memorable there were some really good shows some were really funny especially the After show when Sam would discuss with whoo kid what o&a did that day..... It's all in my playlist... I mixed the after shows .....whoo kid on o&a....and the Sam Roberts show together... Let me know if ur looking for something or if u need help.....

Whoo Kid is a much mouthed nigger like that SayanZ idiot. Wigger Sam and him are some of the most unlistenable shit to ever come out of any era. Ignore "Sara" please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5hPw4F5E08&list=PLP5W2Jn1c-veFsic5IRETvqlLfrZwejss

Here's My DJ Whoo Kid PLaylist........

Here's a website of all Sam Roberts Shows... I think some Links Stopped Working.....

http://www.struff.com/vbulletin/archive/index.php/f-186.htmlom

you're Esther Ku, aren't you?

An interesting theory.

Please focus on his perpetual child habits like food, wrestling and his obsessive mother. she saved his Afro hair in Tupperware and his baby teeth in the freezer. She did his laundry at least till he was 30 (while he was living with Jess)

Why are the teeth in the freezer? That's serial killer shit.

why he has never drank/ taken drugs and is reluctant to take any medicine

Someone slipped him some cough medicide and blew up his piss baloon.

Close: he's a scared faggot who can never lose control of a situation or he panics. Piece of shit truly believes he is in control of most situations and HE CALLED 911 FOR A FLAT TIRE

I think it's because he's a faggot.

Definitely get the clip where Guy Fieri tricks him into a shot of vodka

Imagine how good that clip would be with Guy Fairies hit song 'all star' behind it

I wish he would've gotten Jimmy with that one

I really need to hear more about Sam’s supposed fear of hospitals and medicine. I‘ve had an obsessive hatred of him for years and this is the first I’m hearing of it.

Also Porsalin should address Sam’s cheapskateness.

Ah yes, refuses to tip the delivery people whom he depends on every day.

I can't wait to learn he has died as soon as Hurricane Florence draws within a thousand miles of him.

Classic rich kid, never had his own money, behavior. I’m about his age and grew up somewhat near him, but in a nicer town—most of the “Sams” I went to school with (including three who also went to Syracuse) are just like him to this day; 35 year old boys, with the same self obsessed hobbies and infantile relationships with their doting (now elderly) parents. And most of them are also married homeowners with young children and stable corporate cocksucking jobs. Blissfully content and despicable.

you are forgetting:

• born without hole in dick
• took hgh
• was on double dare tv game show as a kid
• called 911 to change tire

It was "figure it out" and he was 15 years old

He only looked 4 because he hadn't yet taken enough HGH injections in his anus to grow a 16 pound bowling ball forehead.

15 year old Figure It Out Sam Roberts, not only us he the very very ugliest incarnation of Sam Roberts, but that very afternoon he filmed that he had to go excuse himself to perform his piss balloon ritual.

Figure It Out Sam Roberts

Sounds like a new name

i was right about the hole in his dick

Actually he had a dick hole. The problem was his foreskin was wrapped so tight around his helmet that he couldnt pissed out of it. When he pissed the foreskin would fill up like a balloon and he would have to squeeze the piss out. He talked about it on oanda. True story u/porsalin

sounds to me like there was no hole in his dick

wrap it up u/porsalin

Lol porsalin will clarify it all im sure. Sam also eats a salad without dressing...just lettuce

He had a circumcision at 17 or 19 years old!

Thank you I was surprised no one said this yet

To add to calling 911 about a flat tire.. He also called his mom and dad.. Sam is obviously not mechanically capable of putting together anything more advanced than a miniature wrestling ring let alone a flat tire. But during the flat tire ordeal his excuse was that he didn't have a car Jack. His dad arrived on scene after it was getting hooked up to tow to point out that the car Sam was driving has a car Jack in the spare tire compartment.. I can't be sure if the car was being towed or if roadside rescue helped him but either way Sam is a beta male and I dislike his smug disposition.

he's a child

He called a truck for a flat?!? Whatta FAGGOT ....

Roadside showed up, his dad was only there for emotional support

The problem is, you can't really criticize him for stuff outside of his control, like having a goofy foreskin or needing hgh as a child

here is why you can - if SOCIETY didnt naturally prop him up, he'd have been ostracized and eventually shunned until he killed himself.

His life is an a front to the natural order

Here he is reading his childlike meals from the previous day

also try and figure out why he has never drank/ taken drugs and is reluctant to take any medicine. Allegedly, he addressed it on his podcast years ago.

pretty sure I've heard him mention it being some kind of control thing, like losing control of yourself while drunk or whatever, but I'm not exactly positive.

Don't forget to use this photo

Is that steel wool on top of his fivehead ...?

I think that the hgh is was forced to take as a kid put his brain in a state of arrested development. Thats why he likes all the childish shit

black screen, dialogue of Sam about how his father pushed him to be great at his talents, fade in to his mongoloid little face on Nickelodeon flicking quarters off his ankle

Mention how only horrible parents sell off their children to pedophiles on Nickelodeon and how Sam was most likely molested.

How do you think his piss balloon came to light? Even the seasoned pedophiles of Nickelodeon were disgusted as he started to unravel that lil smokie.

He was an intern, he begged his boss for his own show. Stabs said boss in the back,everybody thinks he's awful. Roll credits.

You mean... boss kicked him out of studio/off show for having too much fun discussing a dead baby commercial. Takes bosses job 18 months later.

There's a show months before he left where he bitches to Opie about wanting to start a family & earn a better living. That he should have his own show on Opie's channel(at the time).

Someone should locate that.

And Opie did nothing for him and tried to have him fired... for making entertaining radio.

making entertaining radio Let's not get carried away here.

Jim and Sam making fun of dead children while Opie Squirmed was very entertaining. Later finding out that it bothered Opie so much that he removed Sam from the show made it even better.

That being said, Porsalin trying to spin that story into Opie being the good guy would be fun to hear.

I hate Opie but I don't particularly subscribe to that narrative to be honist witcha.

His affair with that other host, cant remember the name. Also his goat laugh. His gay brother. Balloon dick and adult circumcision

The bitch with the kooky glasses, I forget her name too.

Jim Norton

Katie Linendoll.

Yes. It'll take some scrolling, but when they were partnered as kinda 1st/2nd mic toward the latter end of his late night/Whoo Kid run, and his early wrestling podcasts, the chemustree was undeniably electric #PoorFrumpyJess

He definitely mentioned getting in trouble with Jess for mentally cheating via texts with a girl

I refuse to believe that Sam ever had sex with his actual wife let alone another woman.

Morning Mash Up Nicole

Don't shoot for the moon, you did well with Jim so this should be cake. He starts off tag teaming with Erock, then he busts his ass for Jocktober and his own shows but kicks his feet up when handed an opportunity for the real spotlight. In closing he wishes he was the Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart. You can make it a tidy 10 minutes.

a well-spoken 'doctor' discussing his facial anomalies, & some psychological analysis thrown-in

If you don't make a Sam documentary in the next 6 months, I'm putting down my dog.

I hope he doesn’t, just so your dog has to die for such a dumb reason.

Give him time, Porsalin is giving an actual cinematography to this God-forsaken sub. Through him this drama will become immortal.

Make sure to include that the pathetic cromagnon called the police when he got a flat tire.

Cover him nearly puking trying to eat steak and rice.

Na, he thinks that's cute and part of his 'brand'

He's never tried alcohol because, quote, he "hates not being in control." This suggests that he fears (like Jem Horton) that after a couple of cocktails he'd be offering to rim any guy who took his fancy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5qtCcZlpDA

The fact that he betrayed and tried to backstab Scorch should be discussed heavily. Scorch another victim of Sam that tried to help him in his career who was eventually fucked over by him.

I'm not even kidding. You can call Scorchers show in the mornings and he picks up all the time. I've called several times just to wish him good luck. I bet if you get him on the phone, you can get an interview with him. Especially something that makes a man look bad. He fucking hates Sam.

This is a very good idea.

This is a great idea. Original interviews will take it to the next level.

I’m going to interview Bobo next time I run into him at the post office just so I can have it on file to license out for future docs.

I am not so up on Bobo...does he work at the Post Office? I'm pretty sure he lives in either Maspeth or Woodside....

Yeah, he doesn’t work there. He lives in Maspeth but I’ve run into him at the Woodside post office on 61st three times over the last few years (and a few other times on the 7, at Citi, and around the neighborhood. Last time I asked him why he doesn’t go to the Maspeth PO and he said something like “you don’t want to get me started on them!” then gave me a TACS sticker.

That's Bobo all right, I'd know his obsessive sticker collecting and gifting fetish anywhere.

we have a neighborhood retard who likes to gift coupons to people on the street. Must be a thing for these dummies

Cherish him.

His mom sends him on errands to the bank or the post office all the time. He was always walking or taking a bus to them when he called in.

Yep. Anything to get him out of the house, I don’t blame them.

I’m going to interview Bobo next time I run over him at the post office ....

FIFY

He lives in Maspeth around the block from where I live. I see him pretty frequently but I ignore him now because all he can talk about are the fucking Mets. And yes, he works at UPS like 40 hours a year from Thanksgiving to Christmas.

My aunt and uncle and cousin live in Maspeth, but I'm from Ridgewood. Glad to see we have some Queens people here. Maspeth has a lot of Whiskey Tangos, like Bobo and that side of my family. I still can't afford to buy a house there, though.

It only has a 0.8% black population. You can't even find those numbers on long island, which is why a 2 bedroom shithole goes for a 1 million

Yeah, but a lot of the Whites you live around are like the kind you see getting pepper sprayed on COPS.

He does "moving and storage part time" for his uncle (AKA probably one time)

I thought it was for his "sister's father" in Connecticut?

Ohh yes, I think you're right. His uncle owned the Queens Motor Inn.

Owned it or just "worked there ...."? lol

I think if you just give him a call in the show, say "hey scorch when you have a chance later on would you mind answering a few questions about your career?" he'll say yes. Once you get a hold of him. Let him know the documentary made, I know he would enjoy it. You also have a very trusting voice. if I call and tried to interview him, he wouldn't listen to me. Tell him that we will donate to his Charities and all that stuff (I know at least I will)

Scorch is a good guy. Sam wronged him, he knows about it. Maybe he's willing to talk about it, maybe not, but we don't know until we ask. if you'd like, I can call him tomorrow morning and ask him if he's willing to do an interview with you. Since we have different time zones and all that.

Someone’s angling for a producer credit

I'd just like some of my illustrations in the movie. That's all.

I don't think that's too much to ask. Can you draw Sam 400% uglier than your other drawings? Hate to ask for realism but this is a big time Hollywood production.

As beautiful as your illustrations are, how easily could Porsalin shoehorn them into a documentary? Perhaps you could have them as single flash frame edits peppered throughout?

I was thinking he could use some sort of Ken Burns zoom effect on one of the illustrations as he's talking about said person.

The one who have Anthony and Bailey Jay together is a masterpiece.

This should rival Ken Burns' Civil War doc in terms of both artistry and length.

The one on the Brooklyn Bridge was fantastic. But the Civil War one is legendary.

he should sprinkle them in the background subtly & subversively, or use them as transition-frames that don't completely appear - just sneaking them into people's psychi.

but whadda I know

Indeed, an homage to 'A nice big cock' from Fight Club.

[removed]

Don't have your questions in the doc just have his answers. You can structure it to just have him telling his side over the thing. Like This is Actually Happening.

some of these ideas are PFG

Get confident, stupid.

Don't call our film polymath stupid you big freaking jerk!!!!

Country parmesan.

do it

Give me the relevant info and ill act as a production assistant or something.

Nice plan, stupid

Not at all. You're the documentarian, there's nothing amiss about you soliciting interview subjects. Speaking of which, Pat Duffy and Creampie Jones would definitely be worth reaching out to. Aren't they on the sub somewhere?

The biggest get would be Intern David

That fella is as retarded as bobo

YES, yes yes

He works at the 9-11 Museum

*"Excuse me, Dovid. But I'd like to interview you for a Sam Roberts documen-- ....

Hey, where're ya runnin' off to?"

I am down to help in any way I can.

Please consider doing an interview with porsalin if he is interested, or even give a spoken word recording about it and upload. Tell us what it was like dealing with him behind the scenes at the office, how badly he would suck up or play off others, and general things that you saw and no one else knows. If porsalin is too busy or scheduling conflicts make it improbable someone else could do an interview if you're willing and give it to him.

I just watched that bit where he threw the paper balls at your face and ran behind Steve when you got up. Here, should get your fired up.

Oooo! Look at big tough guy Mr. Karateman Master Po!

Yecch. Pat Duffy rules!

Pat, you've always been the greatest and you never get the credot you deserve. Thank you for your many tours of duty.

Thank you, sir. Your words are more appreciated than you realize.

I reached out to u/Porsalin already and told him whatever I could do to help.

You’re a treasure, CPJ, no homo.

& if they refuse to do the interview, just get someone to impersonate them & make them sound foolish

Or have one of the goons in here call in

do it in-character, stupid.

You think Louis Theroux worries about stuff like that?

Its an interview for a doc you dipshit. Hoist up them limey balls and get to it. Youre a real talented son of a bitch and have a gift. Use it to dismantle this hgh using mongoloid.

Points of interest on Sam

He talked so much shit about scorch and has had a dogshit attitude from the start of his career

Multiple rumours of infidelity

He had bobo dick and had to get surgery on his dumb dick

Dogshit podcast; hits 1 show; mind numbing wwf appearances; horrible pre and post shows

OPIE jr wannabe. Backstabber

Constant shit stirring behind the scenes

Help in cause steve Cs depression and eventual suicide

The worst voice in radio

Refuses to eat anything other than chicken and other plain foods refused to eat steak.

Never had a drink or done any drug before

He is a man child

Hes collection of wrestling tapes and other collectibles stores all over his mother house

He is a ridiculously babied mama boy faggot

Sam is the fucking worst. Skull fuck side show bob the wall

Help in cause steve Cs depression and eventual suicide

any more on this?

Sam constantly undermined and belittle steve and his role eventually he was forced out and sam took his job as executive producer

I never knew Sam took steve's job? what year was that? And didn't steve want to leave or was ready to leave, or do you have evidence that he was pressured out by Sam

Theres no concrete proof and the whole steve situation was very shady and it wasnt just steve opie hated him for the whole foundry claiming opie and Anthony videos. Steve was on the outs sam just helped keep the ball rolling

You call scorch just to say nice things to him? That's quite sweet actually.

I've called about a dozen times. I listen through TuneIn every so often. One time he asked the listeners where the "Best Pizza in the area" was so I called in to let him know that according to Dave Douglas, he's great pizza. He kinda laughed and hung up. After that I called only to wish him good luck and told him he's loved. He does radio in Wisconsin, so I don't think people are lighting up the lines and giving him encouragement, but that's what I do.

I'll call tomorrow morning while I'm in traffic and ask him. If he says no, I'll just leave it at that. I'll continue to call in every so often and wish him luck. I'll still donate to his paws for the cause charity (under his name) no matter what.

Holy shit I wrote I'll a lot.

A lot of people don’t realize how easy it is to get on the radio as a caller. Probably even easier now than ever because who the fuck is listening.

I used to call in to WFAN overnights, Hannity, Rush, Lionel etc with different characters and voices as a younger man—had a lot of fun and never had a problem getting on the air.

Unfortunately I never got on the air with Scorch. He takes calls during songs. It's one on one time with Scorch, he's that humble.

He’s a wonderful man

Please do that Sam interview for us. Someone would probably venmo you $20 for it.

Hope one of you guys does this before Porsalin drops the final product.

Scorch is a man of the people and very accessible.

It's mainly refenced in random Jocktober's, about Sam's spiteful cataloging of Scorch's honest errors. Sorry I can't be more specific; perhaps another Unfuckable Hate Nerd can pick up the slack?

also talks about him in the early days (xm) when sam was an intern trying to get air time. it was scorch and that he was related to thomas jefferson.

I would look to those Colin collections. Whenever they played Scorch clips for him, he would often have them outline Sam's history with Scorch. He was fascinated by the betrayal aspect.

If you go threw any of the pfg tv bits sam constantly talks about his time with scorch

Found a thread from about a month ago that references Sam apologizing to Scorch for shittalking him. Might help in terms of what date the show was: https://old.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/95db1d/sam_says_he_regrets_dissing_scorch_and_apologises/

fuck his fake ass apology. he has over a decade to apologize and didn't do it.

where can i find audio of this apology anyway?

On today's show Sam explicitly stated he owes Scorch an apology.

We'll never know if this is true because no one listens.

Yet didn't actually apologize. I really want to curbstomb that little weasel

Because he knows full well this shit is going to come in his own documentary.

PFG, ya knowwhattamean?

Ask Danny if you can as Sam is his mortal enemy. I would also focus on Sam bullying Shitloaf (Anthony on J&S), Sam acknowledged that behind the scenes and without Jim's knowledge that he openly told the show staff that Anthony is the worst intern they've ever had. Isn't that workplace bullying?

Also in general his piss balloon foreskin, that he no longer has his parents on the show or kevin pollak now it's just him and Jim and not Opie.

And after Anthony was banned from Sirius again you can see Sam isn't bummed at all, he looks perfectly fine, he doesn't care and he prefers that Anthony isn't able to come in as it exposes just how unfunny he is, the extent of Sam's comedic chops at the moment are him describing TV clips, he describes a Who Is America segment.

I don't know how you could find the clip of Sam admitting what he said about Shitloaf to the show staff but it was incriminating for sure, you could hear him embarrassed and guilty about it, especially that Jim was hearing about it and had no knowledge of it. I can have a look through my old J&S episodes I still have some

this is straight up old fashioned gumshoe detective work. Very nice

Bravo on your docs. I must've missed the release on the Joe Matarese , it is a work of art!

Here are some clips:

The first show trashing PFG TV:

https://youtu.be/6_pobKoF8KY

1:58 - Sam chimes in

7:50 - Sam’s 1st meeting with Scorch

29:00 - Sam says Scorch was always covered in dog hair and smelled like piss

46:45 - Sam accuses Scorch of lying about his wrestling career

Discussing Sam’s treachery towards Scorch:

https://youtu.be/Q_m-ncIdcpo

More Scorch trashing with Colin starting @ 45:30

https://youtu.be/VFnp-jcXe38

You’re doing the lord’s work, can’t wait for the new doc.

At some point Sam discusses a friend that worked with him at Scorch's studio and goes on and on about how much that guy hated Scorch and they laughed at him behind his back all the time.

So not only was he destroying Scorch, but he was throwing that guy under the bus too. I think he even says his name.

At some point Sam discusses a friend that worked with him at Scorch's studio and goes on and on about how much that guy hated Scorch and they laughed at him behind his back all the time.

So not only was he destroying Scorch, but he was throwing that guy under the bus too. I think he even says his name.

Your autism is very much appreciated.

right now I'm picturing porsalin sitting in a room with a pair of headphones over his head analyzing scorch audio and taking notes with a cup of tear nearby

Nice!

Can we just get a very positive scorch documentary? That's really nothing interesting about Sam. He could be a footnote in the story of Vito Carlucci

I need scorch to have a multi part saga.

He's an international superstar

Its true. Scorch is beloved even over here in London.

Please mention that Scorch graciously donates his time and money to various charities often while Sam selfishly obsesses over furthering his own career and milking his wrestling fans for 70dollar "meet and greet tickets" .

Sam learned many things from Scorch but not, unfortunately his generous selfless nature.

Or how to lose you hair gracefully

Your dog is sleepin

scorch would spill some beans over skype, surely?

Look through the jocktober stuff from when Sam was responsible for pulling audio. I think there’s some scorch gems in that pile of shit.

He says one of the things he regrets most in life was betraying skorch.if you want to twist the knife, that's the way you do it.

Call scorch and tell him about Sam's recent sarcastic apologies he made to get us on his side.

I guarantee you could get an interview with Sam's mom if you tell her that her boy is going to be the subject of a documentary.

Someone probably said this somewhere on this thread. But a mention of how Sam couldn't eat steak cooked by guy fieri would be good. There is video of it too.

Do a couple rounds of these threads as you work through the process

If you could include the clip of Anthony doing his high pitched sam hits1 voice saying "im sam roberts" and have an echo on the end of roberts, that would add poignancy

This happened in his ascension on the than and Sam show, and then Sam and Dave special delivery. Ronnie b is the only who calls Sam out for his black widow-ING of the other co-host of any show he was on.

Just curious, did Sam's "betrayal" solely consist of sharing Scorch's audio with the show and taking part in shitting on him on the air, or was it something deeper than that? I mean, that by itself is scummy enough but I'm just wondering if it was something worse even behind the scenes.

This Patriot compiled a list earlier.

https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/9fa895/sam_roberts_documentary/e5v7jrd?utm_source=reddit-android

The fact that he shit on Scorch for smelling like dog pee and having fur on his sweaters is sad. I know it's gross, but at least Scorch had enough of a heart to take care of his old dog, even if it made him smell bad.

That's actually a great point and illustrates the degree to which Sam is a fucking maggot.

For some people, animals are all they have. They may not be good at relationships with people. And when their animal gets old. It's only natural for them to want to take care of that animal until it passes away. It's a part of them. And for Sam to be an asshole and not only talk about the fact Scorch smelled like pee, but to do it on the air, when they had tons of listeners is deplorable, especially when you trying to humiliate that person by making fun of them. Making fun of someone who is taking care of his old dog dying dog. Real hilarious Sam. You fucking malnourished chimp.

And someone who had been good to him personally too

While talking about Bill O'Reilly and other famous sexual harassing broadcasters, Sam talks about him interviewing Matt Lauer and says "I didn't detect a hint of sexual harassment from him..." A few months later Lauer would be fired for sexual harassment.

Could go to general incompetence or inability to read/interview people.

Link

One thing about Sam that’s always bothered me, that perhaps doesn’t get enough attention, is how he seems to consider himself smarter than the dropouts around him because he graduated from college. Yet, he is perhaps the least articulate and knowledgeable guy in the room most of the time.

“So, this uh thing, with the bla-di-ba, and I’m like...”

He sucks.

Sociology degree.

He went to Syracuse. No offense to my friends and family that went there but I know some really dumb people who graduated from there.

Same here. Lotta rich kid dummies.

He's the last professional broadcaster but couldn't get into their actually legit broadcasting school and got a housewife degree from there.

Like the Connecticut School of Broadcasting or in the case of Blind Stevie - Suffolk Community College.

This is part of the many, many reasons why he's Little Opie Junior. He's an ignorant know it all happy that he got some fuck off college degree irrelevant to broadcast fifteen years ago. Yeah, his sociology degree is really paying off, I'm sure. This stupid faggot can barely speak and read and doesn't know what he's talking about unless its wigger shit, WWE and Kid Cuisine.

He's not even that knowledgeable in wwe

Mars is hot because its a red planet - Sam "Tendies" Roberts

The Mars clip must be included.

I'm gonna assume you have his debut on O&A. Somehow his voice isn't as screechy and grating yet, which suggets that his cackling shreek might be a conscious choice for his radio voice. Which, in turn, suggests he should have been drowned shortly after birth.

Also,

hype

his cheapskate honeymoon in hawaii

Something about how that he sucks and he's wicked fucking boring

Screencaps like this will be essential to the authenticity of the piece.

Sam's rap group "Joon Your M'nt"...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=El2Fxp-flRk starts at 6:30

I want this played in loop in the background if his contract negotiations.

He called the cops because he had a flat tire once. I think his dad ended up coming to help. I think it's a good example of how childlike and useless he is.

A different radio host was passing by, and stopped and changed the tire for him.

Adam Walsh!!!!

You should open the documentary with the awkward video of Sam at Wrestmania where he just starred into the camera and choked. He would not like that very much.

With a slow zoom on Sams face while he sits there embarrassed and shaken. Would be perfect.

Yeah, exactly like The Worm Has Turned woth Jimmy asking Dylan McDermott about his mom and it gets quiet and then goes WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO JIM NORTON

This should be an exact replica, Sam bombing on wrestling, 2 seconds of silence, then WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO SAM ROBERTS?

i was just thinking of this same exact dramatic shot today at work . would be hilarious

Perfect

Where’s the video of this?

I tried to find it and couldn't. Somebody else might have it.

https://youtu.be/G0OmeBN1mQY

1:02:40

Also, you should do some divide and conquer shit towards Jim and Sam's relationship. Talk about how Jim pushed Sam out of the main chair, even though Jim doesn't know how to operate the board. And because Sam is not really his true equal, Sam had to give up the seat. And now he just passive aggressively makes comments every time Jim screws up with the board.

Second. Bringing up shit that lingers in both their minds when they're in studio together would be the best psychological payload.

https://youtu.be/NPGUIpv-JxI

Please highlight that, no matter what he tries and matter how hard he tries, he can never be interesting or entertaining. Sam is just such a boring human.

It'd be tough to get the clips bc idk where they are but, throughout the first year or so of the J and S show (until whenever Sam moved into his new house) he would talk about how he treated Jess. Yelled at her, controlled her, etc. At one point even Jim seemed to get uncomfortable with how abusive Sam was.

This would be a really interesting compilation. Unfortunately it was always lines dropped into other stories so it'd be impossible to find them.

ADAM WALSH! Also how he would blouse his XL t-shirts when he was 4 ft tall.

I think you and Tefft Pattern covered it, but his enraging sarcasm that he constantly talks with. Just say what you mean you fucking idiot!

What? Do you not like that about Sam? You don’t find it humorous?

-The fuckup at WWE where he stares at the camera blankly.

-The Jocktober segment where he gets extremely butthurt over getting jocktobered himself.

-Anything involving his mom getting figuratively shat on small edits to his hairline throughout the documentary

small edits to his hairline throughout the documentary

never address it by word, just always cut to it whenever it makes sense.

i think that is a great idea.

you might find this audio useful...

90 minutes of the awkward silence at wrestlemania.

RIP, your inbox

Be sure to mention his WrestleMania fuck up and WWE fans constantly shitting on him on Twitter.

I see Sam Roberts as being the embodiment of the mid-80s birthday "child of the 90s" manchild, all the worse features rolled into one.

Through adolescence, constantly coddled by mommy. Told how wonderful he is. Builds the ego up. Enough to the point where he thought a rap troupe named jnr mnt or however it was spelled was a good idea. Undeserved arrogance that will continue as he politics his way to right where he wants to be: hosting a morning show, and doing WWE announcer type of shit.

But he was a bully, to Bobo, to other interns, and stirred shit well while always passing the buck to someone else. He, more than anyone, made Jocktober interactive by constantly interrupting the show to say what vile pictures pests were posting to the Eric & Kathy facebook page.

He grew ambitious, rubbing shoulders with nearly everyone in the building that could help him. He tried out for Entertainment Weekly Radio, and didn't get the gig because they hated his voice. He tried with the after-show, he tried his own late night show and a wrestling podcast, but he was so dull nobody ever really cared.

Until Ant got fired and Opie & Jim started despising each other. He knew Opie & Sam was two unfunny dolts, so he took Jim's side and buttered up Norton like all the other SXM employees he buttered up. He got his show.

He got HIS show - that's what you end the documentary on. That Jim & Sam is essentially an extension of the Sam Roberts Show with a couple porn stars & MMA fighters from Jimmy. But all the elements that made O&A so successful were discarded, because Sam wanted nice polite interviews with one of the Bella twins.

You must cover him attempting to eat steak during his bachelor party and refusing to, like a child eating broccoli

Hell. Should have an itemized list scrolling on the screen of all the foods he refuses to eat. Steak, rice, broccoli, seasoned chicken, shrimp, etc etc.

Compare his affinity for wrestling to Jim Norton's homosexual adoration for MMA guys.

He's a homo is what I'm saying.

Work very carefully on it, you're on a streak.

Also remember that with Sam you have one of the strongest starting points available: his childhood is truly cartoonish, to the point of being grotesque. The psychotic helicopter parenting, the weird ass habits they taught him, the fact that they turned him into an homunculus by pumping growth hormones into his body.

His first years are a goldmine, to the point where it might be hard to reach the same peaks in the second and third parts of the documentary. Maybe you could go from pity to hatred: show that Young Sam is a tragic figure, and old Sam is the worst, most pathetic (due to his youth) villain. At first you get sad for him, and by the end of it you just want to put him down (which is where this sub is at right now).

Had to look up what homuncolus meant, it's now one of my new favorite words.

also his dad ate raw potatoes and anchovies or something else equally vile

The implications that Sam is even important enough to get his own documentary kinda sucks, but it's probably going to be fucking awesome. Bitter sweet as we like to say.

A few suggestions:

• Clips from that shitty after show him and E-Rock used to do.

• The 'Jocktober' segment dedicated to Sam. Particularly the line Anthony threw out to mock Sam, 'Ow, my head...it's covered in pubes!'

• His disturbing relationship with his mom. She saved his hair in a tupperware container or some other shit. Disgusting cunt.

• The intern days! That time Pat Duffy tried to beat the living shit out of Sam was awesome.

• Any Sam flubs are welcome! My personal favorite:

(Anthony) 'Sam, can you look up the population of Manhattan?'

(Sam) '53,000'

(Anthony) '...What? Are you looking at Manhattan, Kansas? Oh, Sam...'

What a fucking moron.

Matarese did not deserve it either, and that documentary is still so good

peckah chop story

Parents made him take HGH because he was a late bloomer and it turned him into some caveman looking weirdo.

Look into the rumor that he supposedly fucked Jm's Fag Hag, the ugly pornstar Mary Jean.

Oh definitely causing the downfall of Fez. He purposely did it.

A theme will be Sam's bullying.

I wish I could help you with the clips, but there have been so many stories throughout the years, Sam has told various stories on the air about being the victim of bullying. He also did something called 'kid court'. He was a loser as kid and continues to be a loser as an adult.

Sam's bullying.

He bullied wrestler Virgil & created this website.

http://lonelyvirgil.net/

Wow that is a sad site.

[removed]

It should also be noted how much Sam weaseled his way onto fourth mic on O&A towards the end of the run. I think people forgot just how much the show changed as Sam's air time increased over the years. The increased amount of rasslin talk, chatting about girl shit like the Kardashians, talking about his stupid rap shit with a bunch of middle aged white men, etc. We've talked about how much Anthony sabotaged the show with his constant race drivel but there hasn't been much of a mention of just what a detriment Sam's involvement was near the end there. He was essentially turning it into a different show.

I think the thing that I hated the most during those last few years was that fucking Morning Mashup cunt that Sam constantly brought on like she was one of the guys. Her show was literally no different than any other jocktober show they laughed at. She was fucking awful.

How long did they go on about that 90 day fiance shit that Sam brought to the show? Fuck that was unbearable. They really became the show for middle aged housewives once he became executive producer.

The great Kevin Pollak beautifully addressed the rat faced weasel coattail riding ways of faggot Sam when he called in and shredded Sammyboi bitch on 8-13-2014 which was one of the few outstanding O&J shows ever! Already told Porsalin about it and where he can find it!

The great Kevin Pollak beautifully addressed the rat faced weasel coattail riding ways of faggot Sam when he called in and shredded Sammyboi bitch on 8-13-2014

thank you dude, was trying to find this one and had no idea what time period it took place in

No problem, sir.

Where in that episode does it take place?

As soon as Sam because the in-studio head producer, all the sound imaging turned to shit quality. The only music they used was all recycled music used on wrestling, O&A and R&F even started using the WWF Attitude signature audio to start shows.

On the theme of his being mocked by comedians early on...a good example would be Bob Kelly's treating him like his gay slave, making him dress up, kiss him, humiliate him in front of his wife, etc.

The Intern Simple Mike saga on Youtube might be interesting. Really shows Sam's insecurity.

Sam showing off all his physical awkwardness in a wrestling ring, he does a run and "low blows" a gentleman

r/https://youtu.be/-NECv0RUktg

Jesus did he lose his knees in a Normandy trench?

Don’t forget about how Sam bullied our sweet innocent Fezzy - many a clip about that

This is a very important part of it. He practically destroyed Ron & Fez to put himself over. He bullied a gay man into several heart attacks and finally quitting his profession (Sam's bullying took his livelihood.)

dont give this dude that much credit

Yes. He thatwas very homophobic of him

Errrr do we all get cuts of the patreon money? You're making us feel like truckers

Examples of him brown-nosing opie and riding his dick!!

I've said it before, but him being grilled by u/ThePRrattlesnake after greggshells on LOS was priceless

Sounds great. Do you gotta a clip?

No, it was an episode which was from compound media at the time so it's either behind nannas paywall or gas digital

Fez was nutty but I always thought that sam saw opies hatred for him and highlighted a lot of fez’s on air antics to please the opester.

There was a funny clip on one of the Louis CK shows where Louis ridiculed Sams childish eating habits and talked to him the way he talked to his children. They had a nursery rhyme playing whenever Sam talked

Lonely Virgil is really bullying. Schinkelboutit.

Jersey All Pro Wrestling is what you want for his early wrestling announcing stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFp31UOkS2U

A key clip highlighting Sam's stupid baby boy diet.

bullying

Re: Sam's bullying, here is a clip where it talks about his desperate need for "playmates" or people that he can boss around: https://youtu.be/iZp4nhst26g?t=39m45s

​

I would try to find a the thread about Sam betraying his radio mentors. Scorch is obviously the primary example, but he allied himself with Jimmy instead of opie: the man he admits gave him a head start in the business. Then highlight the growing friction between Jim and Sam to prove that they're both rats trying to escape a sinking ship

Brother, your list/timeline sounds fantastic! However, DO NOT forget when Kevin Pollak called in and humiliated Ferengi Alien headed Sam by speaking truth about his talentless coattail riding and that he does not deserve to be where he is (and most certainly not where he ended up!) It was a great segment unlike any other regarding his hack coattail riding legacy.

Finally - as much liberal sam as possible. Similar things to his #metoo stance on Louis CK where he basically called him an abuser. As much of Sam just spewing what he sees on CNN as possible.

Sam's actually a really right wing kind of guy. He used to be a guest of Red Eye, a right wing show on Fox News.

Sam's bullying stems from probably being bullied relentlessly in highschool for sporting a jew fro & resembling the missing link. He knows in an office no one can assault him without losing their jobs.

As much as I’d like to hear criticism of Sam’s lack of talent, horrible voice, illegal mistreatment of interns, helping drive Steve C to suicide, backstabbing of Opie, and attempted bashing of The Big Cat Fez Whatley, it would only give him what he wants, airtime and attention - as if he matters.

I’d love to hear all of that stuff crammed into 10 minutes, followed by an hour-long in-depth documentary about Scorch narrated by Kevin Pollak.

When it comes to Sam's politics, make sure you bring up how he was really into Tucker Carlson for a month ("Tucker crushed him.") until it became no longer politically convenient for him to do so. Flip flopping cunt.

PLEASE INCLUDE THIS Moment of Sam BROWN NOSING

On the episode where OPIE cried and Norton for once rightfully let him out to dry, co-dependent Sam "I Need This Job" Roberts was slobbering all over Opie's balls, hyping him up and trying to be on his side so he would stop crying.

That's funny hearing the words Sam's career used together.

I don't think he's a good subject for anything. Ignoring him is the best move.

His WWE commentary might worth exploring, he had a really uncomfortable freeze on air. Copyright strikes !right be an issue though.

sneakers...lots of dumb sneakers

His 'Figure It Out' appearance.

The overall theme should be his corporate suck up/weasel behavior.

Be sure to mention all the meters of cock she's taking behind his troglodyte back!

He had to take growth hormones as a pre teen because he looked like a kindergartner in middle school FACT

I would do a parallel on Sam’s early career working with Scorch, only to backstab him and make Scorch a punching bag on O&A. And how he did the exact same thing to Opie years later.

Club Soda Kenny making fun of Sam to his face in the most condescending way after Sam got the 3-6am gig on Hits1 channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuk14XlUxWo

You need to add in his adult circumcision at the age of 19, due to having tight foreskin/phimosis.

Sam Roberts worked behind the scenes to prevent his former teacher Scorch from joining XM in 2005. If you remember, Scorch always had to postpone his joining date when pressed by O&A... Source: o&a subreddit.

The way he tries to bully Rich Vos now that he is a host of the show

Make sure to highlight WWE's pc image, and include the video footage of him bullying Pat Duffy. WWE fired Hulk Hogan, they wouldn't think twice about firing that balding fuck

Please focus on his attempts to ingratiate himself with Opie by undermining all of hisn colleagues. E-Rock, Steve C, Pat Duffy, even that unstable psycho Danny all had to deal with weaselly Sam undermining them while being untouchable because be docked with Opie.

Also focus on his betrayal of Scorch as someone mentioned before. Scorch was cool to him and Sam routinely fucked the guy over.

Look at how humourless he is. The room is full of comedians making jokes and having fun and Sam doesn’t show the slightest hint of mirth. Meanwhile when someone he perceives as “below” him or as competition such as Bobo, Patti, E-Rock, Vos etc get mocked then he cackles like a strangled goat. He truly is a mean-spirited person and not in a fun Colon Quinn way. He is just a passive aggressive, selfish weasel.

His looks need to be emphasized. He is truly a grotesque. His awful hair, his misshapen head and face, his disgusting Hooville philtrum, his scrawny, malnourished chicken finger physique.

Also his interests and lack of personality need to be critiqued as well. He truly has the interests of a 13-14 year old boy, and looks like a pathetic pedo trying to wear his “hip” sneakers while using teen instagram douche phrases. Shoes, wrestling and top 40 hip hop.

Also, I would love to hear his lack of intelligence to be a focus as well. He often tried to pontificate on a subject but he just ends up saying “um” a lot and regurgitating the sentiment of a jezebel article. He’s an unthinking worm that is completely bought in to the mainstream narrative whether that is political or what is considered “cool”.

Overall it is important to get across just what a valueless zero he really is. He sucks at his job on the radio, he sucks at talking about his hobbies and interests, he sucks at the WWE commentary, he probably sucks at every possible game/sport/hobby you can imagine, and he definitely sucks in bed. I hate his wife for allowing him to breed.

I cannot wait to hear the Sam beating.

Kevin Pollack HATES Sam Roberts.

To me, the fight they had on-air was the epitome of what makes Sam the worst. It looks like it was on 8/31/14, but the video was taken down from youtube.

The gist of it was that Sam did not earn his spot in the room. He had his parents call in to fight his battles. Oh, and his voice is awful.

Pollack even addressed Sam in his AMA: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/32l80t/i_am_kevin_pollak_new_film_director_ama/cqc7yjp/?st=jlzk3ajc&sh=ac892cbc

Also: * The fake voice he used when he did Hits 1 overnight * Entertainment Weekly radio turned him down
* He gave a blowjob to a dildo in studio * When he tried to be a YouTube star by wearing a suit and doing movie reviews (I think he deleted all of these; they were awful) - there's a screenshot on the thumbnail for this video * He fucking lost a physical fitness challenge to E-Rock

The hits 1 overnight voice was amazing.

https://youtu.be/cuk14XlUxWo

That Kevin Pollock interaction was perfect. He summed up everything that Sam is, which is nothing.

You are a hero and an artist Porsalin

It should be just a black screen for 1 hour. What career?

also the clip of Sam saying wrestlers bring more YouTube views than Colin Quinn

Posted this somewhere else but Sam tried to wrestle and it was caught on film. Needless to say, he is not athletic and the clip has lots of quality cringe including Sam working a heel gimmick that is just... ooooooooof.

Sam Roberts vs. Kevin Pollak. It was on Opie and Jim in 2014. It showed how butthurt Sam would get when there was any criticism of him, even though Kevin was joking around about it. Even though no one did that kind of stuff more than Sam.

I think the funniest would to start it like the jimmy one, then 2 min in go "Never mind, shits boring." Cut to 5 min of clips of his hairline, and end it.

You could make it like a great Machiavellian work, the humble beginnings where he was nervous to be on mic, his slow confidence build, him getting power by being a general shit stirrer, and his place now. He really did use abusive workplace bullying tactics to get to where he is now and you should try to show that.

I feel like our old pal /u/porsalin is quickly becoming the Robert Caro of the O&A universe.

Here are some embarrassing videos of him...

(Sam acting gay while singing happy birthday to fat piece of shit Robert Kelly) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzmBCiO8_zg

Sam bullying Pat Duffy....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCU5v5EuUoE

Mic Foley feeding Sam steak like a baby...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VERLls6dbo

https://youtu.be/gCGuJZiPO8U?t=1050 Travis explaining office social dynamics. Apparently Sam kept his mouth shut around Danny because Ben Dovid would "go for the throat" and psychologically intimidate Sam. Sam would go after softer targets and hedge his bets. Kind of funny given how we saw Danny attempt to do that to completely random strangers here on reddit, including stalking comments history and try to find twitter/facebook profiles to go after, thinking he could pull it off like he apparently did in the office. I remember Ben Dovid also said "Sam is a carnie, always looking for an angle" here a while back. Did he dish out anything else about Sam here on the sub?

Not super useful but maybe this will jog some noggins in here for more Sam stuff.

Perhaps we shouldn't have put Danny in the nuthouse

I'm prepared to offer your patreon up to a whole Washington a month for this project

Your brilliant mind never stops 😊

Your next documentary should be on griz-x

X post this to squared circle or whatever else faggy wrestling sub there is on reddit.

Well, you gotta include this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLyznktH-cc

You're welcome.

Oh, I found another angle in better quality of the choke slam. I'm pretty sure there is a overall better quality version somewhere out there of the whole thing. I saw it years ago. Can't find it now though :(

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uRot9sWNgo

Just want to make sure this one doesn’t slip through the cracks. I believe this deserves a huge part. It is a perfect example of how useless this bozo wig wearing predator monster really is.

https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/87r5f0/reminder_sam_opie_roberts_dialed_911_for_a_flat/?st=JM3D38BI&sh=63e5fa87

FOUND IT! (The high quality official wrestling gayness with Sam) https://youtu.be/wtq5gfhgKF8

The most central finishing point should be him explaining why comics like Colin don't belong on the show anymore because they've changed directions. He more or less was implying that it's no longer a comedy centric show (how right he is). Also his insistence that he knows what their audience wants, wrestlers, UFC mongs, pornstars and C-list celebrities.

His mom made key lime pie for the show once.

He once called 911 when he had a flat tire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K93y0kxTo0

This: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtq5gfhgKF8

Animated Sam w/ Ron Bennington & Dan Soder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e3ej80hh3s

Sam's wife had her own TV show, and Sam was one of her guests: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VuNmlT5vg0

His mom phones the show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYCtvUT6gT4

Sam (Joon Your M'nt) made a rap demo tape: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=El2Fxp-flRk

Jess' receiving tomb was built to store racially confused semen.

lmfao at least the kid won't have any illusions about being white

His appearence on Legion of Skanks after Luis and Mary Jean fought, he used lame sarcasm to dodge any criticism of her and to avoid making any judgements.

Also the fight with Pat Duffy (I think) where he was throwing paper at him is the moment where Sam was most punchable, it really showed his weasily personality.

this should clear a few things up for you

When Sam was Bobby Kelly’s twink. Then eventually Bobby soured on him.

All the hazing he did to the interns up to point it had to stop because they just stopped listening to him (that and they went away after Blind Stevie got kicked in the dick by Travis).

His parents. Bobbi is a helicopter mother and his father was some old timer who thought buttermilk and saltines were a treat.

The Shit Show. Basically a wrap up show they threw at Sam.

He was a big part in what made Jocktober work/good I believe.

I recall that Sam had some sort of list of the most influential people in his life, or a list of heroes and idols, something of that nature, and Opie was suspiciously high on that list.

Spend 45 minutes on his piss balloon

Errrr do we all get cuts of the patreon money? You're making us feel like truckers

please focus on the white hot nuclear laser focused hate he engenders in people and how anyone of us would gladly disembowel him with a plastic spork if only allowed to.

Stick to how out of his league his wife is

who's OneKnee?

Piss dick

This documentary will be worthless shit if it doesn't HEAVILY feature the Piss Balloon saga.

Sam can't google and gets pissy about being criticized.

Sam gets Jocktobered

Sam calls 911 for a flat tire

Intern Pat Duffy vs Sam

Cheapskate Honeymoon

Fake wedding proposal, humiliates girlfriend on the air

Erock when he called Sam out on Tequila & Donuts day, it was very subliminal and Erock would’ve get into specifics but it was awkward as hell if I recall correctly.

Entering into an odd mentorship with Opie when the rest of the staff decided they hated him.

That all time GOAT patrice laugh when bobo has his dick out, and everyone in the room is howling except sam standing there like a sociopath

Talk about his horrendous live events he does related to wrestling retards and his awful fanbase of "NotSamSonites" and the truly putrid merchandise he shills for this fucking shit. A large portion should be how much of a fucking zero he is when he's not hooked into a billion dollar corporation like SXM or WWE. When its just him, its a couple thousand to a couple hundred to a couple dozen of the most mongoloid, doltish, fat-titted idiot manchildren that make the Opie and Anthony fanbase look like sober Greek statues.

There's pictures here of people that pay to see him at meet and greets. Holy fucking shit, its all genetic nothings.

Trash his awful podcast and Youtube accounts and he does this awful thing with his wife called Captive Audience where he makes his wife watch ten, twenty, thirty year old professional wrestling events. OOH ITS ROYAL RUMBLE 2005 AND WE'RE WATCHING IT ON CAPTIVE AUDIENCE.

Fuckin' asshole.

Here's some ammo from Private First Class VideoAndA (MIA, PBUH)

Part 1: https://youtu.be/XpCYHKHH1zw

Part 2: https://youtu.be/dyUJX-2WvZw

Title suggestions ok?

The Last Professional Piss Balloon: The Story Of Sam Rogers

(Bobby Lee wasn't in on the obscurity bit and really called him Sam Rogers on his most recent appearance)

I found 2 threads through search, each linking to a separate youtube video of it and both of them have been taken down. Apparently this one got under Sam's skin. Someone should find this.

Shot in the dark but Opie said he saw the Jim doc...so he must see you as an ally.

Maybe you can get a scoop from him about Sams process of taking over the morning slot

The time he ruined Jocktober (2013 or 13) by only including War of the Roses segments every single day to the point where O&A pretty much didn't want to do the segment anymore.

Sam is more of a fart in the wind, he doesn't warrant a full length documentary

• sam cackles seconds before steve c states "I would blow my head off clean across the room" timestamped 8:00

• sam is fourth mic and can't google. sam must have the goods on other people to be so inept at his job and still be employed.

• sam picks on a blind intern Stevie. Innocent and physically disabled Stevie states "I don't want to feel like a dumbass" and the evil and manipulative sam replies "what were you in actuality" timestamped at 6:30

• Fez defends himself from the aggressive sam and calls sam a bully and a stalker at 3:01. At 10:57 Jim, Ant, and Opie agree they are on "Team Fez".

He'd also sneak up on Blind Intern Stevie and scare him while filming it and then posted it as a compilation. True bullying.

Dr. Steve is a good sport, perhaps he would discuss phimosis with you? Phimosis being the fancy book-learnin way of saying Piss Balloon.

You’re an auteur, and I respect that; the untitled Sam doc needs your singular vision to tie it all together, but there is some amazing creative crowdsourcing in this thread, and it’s great to see that you’re so receptive and engaged! Kudos to you and Beige for being open and responsive to the fans.

Also, while I have you on the line, have you considered film festival submissions for TWHT or AIG, or any future work? I know someone who’s programming a semi-legit new indie film festival here in NYC later in the year and I think you should submit something. Message me if interested, brothaman.

PPS: Just a suggestion; a Wigger Rich collab on Sam, or any future subject, would be the Opie.

Also, coming from someone who has seen Sam Roberts in person on a handful of occasions, he's a very slight man. Perhaps 5'7-5'8 tops in shoes.

Additionally, he has a car that says NOT SAM on it.

This is undeniable fact.

So a phimosis occurs when the foreskin Narrows and can no longer be retracted over the head of the penis. If the foreskin becomes so severely narrowed, even fluid cannot pass easily and will require some finite amount of time. therefore when one urinates, the foreskin will balloon up and the increased pressure will then Force the urine out of the ballooned foreskin into the outer world. They do make creams to treat mild phimosis But ultimately circumcision is the right move. Adult circumcision used to be a very painful Prospect but urologists, at least some of them, have learned new techniques to make this much less painful. Please forgive any typos above as I am currently driving on the interstate and unsafely answering medical questions while driving through dictation.

Please forgive any typos above as I am currently driving on the interstate and unsafely answering medical questions while driving through dictation.

Christopher Kuhn should have used this as his trial defense.

You are such a good egg

It should start with a nice porsalin animation of sam being born feet first

There better be some aj poopyshits and coverage of how pat Duffy almost killed him

•Had a filthy, never-before-washed glans trapped inside a closed foreskin like a flower that never bloomed

•Allowed filth and skin cells and smegma to calcify inside his foreskin for 18 years before finally growing up enough to care

•Every time he had to urinate, he would piss into his foreskin, which would then swell up into a Piss Balloon, slowly dribbling urine like a water balloon that sprung a leak.

•After beimg recently admonished for calling 911 for a flat tire, he can only call upon his father for help in this situation.

• Calls father into bathroom, reveals his Piss Balloon

•Father helps him to peel his piss balloon off of his 2 inch dick like a tiny rancid banana

•Had to be circumsized to prevent recurring piss-balloonitis.

•Father forever more shudders at the memory of the cottage-cheese under his 'son's' piss-balloon skin while he drinks buttermilk

I know im super late, but man that is a very essential, although immeasurably fucking repulsive fact that is never directly addressed. If it really was sealed to the point of 'balloonage' as it were, that implies that a far more viscous fluid as semen is, had no chance of escape. Every pittiable, poisonous load this little fappy nut sniffing twink trainable brain ever spewed out collected and fermented inside that little ball of filth. Jus sayin.

Thank you for your service.

Fuck Sam hard. When the doc was brought up on the show at least Jim laughed and recognized how well done and funny it was (he's still a faggot) but Sam you could tell was offended and condescending of everything. He will break if he's hit hard enough.

I would focus extensively on Sams bullying of Bobo to bring to light the frightening level of pleasure he takes in abusing the mentally retarded. Hopefully highlighting this can make Sirius see they can not employ this guy.

With 220 responses already, the most popular opinion seems to suggest you should waste your time and talents making a seventy minute documentary mocking Sam for having a loving mother...

I'm not sure how many people will read this or even take this seriously but the irony of Sam "The Last Professional Broadcaster" Roberts is that he's a fourth mic who waited until enough people better talented and more entertaining than himself were fired and became the second mic. There isn't enough of a career or enough material to even warrant a "documentary" about him. In fact, the only thing it would do is stroke his ego by making it seem like he's been elevated to the same level as Jim Norton who's whole career was given a seventy minute review.

You honestly want to spend seventy minutes making fun of how devoted his mother is to him? So what if his mother did his laundry until he was 30? Sam lives with a beautiful woman with a bank account larger than every user who's posted here combined. It's petty, pathetic, and not in the least entertaining.

Sam would love to make Jimmy spend an hour "live commenting" on his documentary so he can do what he does best, sarcastically deflect and dolphin laugh at how bizarre it is that most of the "documentary" is about how loving his mom is...

The attention, the proof that he's at the same professional level as Jim Norton is something he would absolutely enjoy and endlessly reference. It would do no one here who absolutely hates him any service. Sam's career is so mediocre and already at it's pinnacle, just ignore him as everyone in the world should. The most successful Sam has ever been is when people don't ignore him and give him attention for attacking others.

My suggestion, if you have to jump the shark with your career porsalin, would be this:

"Imagine your friends and family enjoying a BBQ. You don't smell it, you can't taste it but within sixty seconds you're beginning to experience crippling chest pains and your pupils have constricted in such intensity that burning and throbbing around your eyeballs make it almost impossible to keep them open. At the same time you're beginning to excessively drool. Mucus production is at such excessive levels that you'll begin expelling a quart of it every twenty seconds. By this point, you're also beginning to lose control of your urine and bowels. When you realize you've just vacated inside your pants, the loss of muscle control begins. Spasms in your joints are the most prominent. You won't be able to walk. By ninety seconds of exposure, the spasms alone will have caused you to collapse onto the floor where you join your friends and family in seizing and suffocating to death from loss of control of your lungs and most likely will drown from your body's own production of saliva and mucus.."

The viewer has found out that they have started watching a documentary on the effects of Sarin gas, a chemical five hundred times more toxic than the Chlorine gas soldiers from The Great War faced in the trenches.

Please, don't waste your time with a Sam Roberts mockumentary. Nothing good will come of it. Sam is already in obscurity and is at the height of his career. Let him vanish like the darkness facing a rising sun... I know you did a wonderful job with the Jim Norton documentary and the attention it's getting will only lead you to succumbing to Pride. Don't just force out the next one. The best thing you can do is make a point to say Sam isn't worthy enough of having time and talent spent on him.

I love you and I hope whatever decision you make, it brings you more success and happiness.

fuck outta here with this square shit

Jess has nice tits, calling her beautiful is a serious stretch.

The tits are 7/10. The rest is trash.

This is too short.

Kill yourself, you genetic wasteoid. You're not going to psychologically trick Porsalin into not throwing this guy a beating, stupid. "You know, I really do wish you the best and hope you find success and happiness in your li..." FUCKING KILL YOURSELF.

Drunk Ant calls balding Neanderthal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5qtCcZlpDA

Sam has Pete Dominick change his tire

Stand Up with Pete Dominick

>June 22, 2017 ·

>Pete helped a stranded Sam Roberts change a tire yesterday. Can you change a tire? Is there a life skill you can't do that you feel like should be able to?

https://twitter.com/jimandsamshow/status/877867350413803520

​

How about how his female-like office politicking forced radio legend Fez Whatley to retire.

He made Fezzy cry and then played audio of it on air while cackling maniacally.

"Chicken tenders and trampled mentors"?

A documentary on drying paint would probably be more interesting

Make sure you mention his fucked up dick.

Definitely bring up his chicken nugget obsession as a grown man.

His piss balloon of a pecka

Mandatory https://streamable.com/0v86d

"I don't like your face" and its supposed to be a bad guy saying it, but she just means it. He immediately gets crushed by it and then the woman on the left says, WELL, AT LEAST YOU TRIED.

Beautiful. That has to be in there. A nice little chunk of him bombing at his life's dream to be a WWE commentator must be in the document-tree.

Back when Sam's career was on the upswing, he created the [LonelyVirgil.net ](lonelyvirgil.net) tumblr to make fun of how unpopular former WWE wrestler Virgil had become. So callous was he, that he'd then have Virgil on the show and bring up this website live on the air, without ever telling him he created it. He was both self-promoting his tumblr and ridiculing Virgil at the same time.

Then pan a few years to today, when Sam's embarrassing himself on live WWE television, and numerous photos of him sitting alone at public appearances or between takes start having a serious LonelySam vibe to them.

Karma? Divine intervention? Who can say.

Best thing is the wwe fans was avoiding on purpose

Wouldn't you? He looks like what the clown in 'It' would look like if he cleaned himself up and got a job.

He always wears this stupid maroon and crushed velvet suit with brown shoes that look something between a cowboy and a circus clown and all the people are just shunning him. How about when he was Wrestlemania sitting by himself? How about him ditching his wife and son on his first Father's Day to go to a ladder match by himself? Anybody who cares about pro wrestling after the age of thirty, and that's more than generous, is always a weirdo and a zero.

A montage of him stirring shit and instigating things would be a must, for sure. Listening to older shows when he was a little helper boy causing all kinds of strife. He's one of those that it's easier to pull others down instead of having to ascend and be great to get to where he wants to go.

The clip of him breaking open a Mexican coca-cola at midnight on his NYE livestream should be considered.

Link it nobody watch his shit

Apologies in advance.

Gotta be in control at all times, like on NYE when you're an adult. STONE COLD SOBRIETY AND TOTAL CONTROL FAWK YEAH.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNqKQLHXMCgZ

Sam uses co-workers mental illness to go viral - actually, there's lots of Sam on Ron and Fez clips that gradually show him becoming very manipulative and cruel towards Fez

Please be sure to include is WrestleMania fuck up and Jim Cornette's response to it. Also include WWE fans constantly shitting on him on Twitter.

He was nervous because he knew he was next

Just focus on his stupid obsesion with becoming an entertainer when he crearly would be doing great in any other business or career.

Just point out he's hardworking, diligent and smart and that for some fucking insane reason he decided to focus on radio

And then prove it show clips of his nightshow I know they must be hard to find but in there he was stretching subjects of conversation for fucking hours, with no callers( no one was listening) show also how he took that bad habit and brought it to jim and Sam, focus on when he talks and he takes this long moments to explain his banal points just streching time.

Bring the example of how many years he has done the only show he's qualified for his wrestling podcast and even it being he's greatest broadcasting accomplishment it only has 50 patrons.

Bring up the time he talked about a live show for months and even got bubba Ray Dudley to show and still had to cancel it

And show that behind the scenes he was a great producer and that he like all o&a producer fell for the trap of thinking that they were on par with comedy genius like the hosts (when o&a show was great) and that they could do it too, and point out the tragedy of him wasting this talent following a path he clearly is not talented for, that is on air talent

The time he called 9-1-1 for a flat tire

Sounds like a machiavellian story. How does an ethnically ambiguous billygoat with no discernable on-air talents rise to such great heights in the radio business?

You'll need to find the "than and sam show" especially the end where he fucks than over right on air and quits. While shouting special delivery

nigga

i think the crux of it all is - sam roberts, heir to the opie and anthony microphones. top two comedy shows all time.

sam roberts - bubble boy. throughout his entire o&a staff career - never took the beating he should have. ever. literally everyone else got a rough beating at least a couple times on that show. never sam, never his stupid parents on the phone.

the closest he ever took a beating was - when his mom called and anthony got her to play 'whats in my pants'. you could feel the room during that clip, the energy wanting to tilt into full blown sam and his mom beating. its a must listen. 2011? 2012? idk.

the dude from usual suspects. fucks his name. he gave sam roberts the best on-air beating and his critique was spot on. thats another must-listen.

you cant discuss sam roberts in radio without discussing scott greenstein and sirius xm in general. those are the guys who listen to sam on the radio and said YES we need him on our programming. how the fuck did he pull it off?

literally hundreds of listeners throughout the years. lots of funny fuckers. lots of high level dudes. would have done anything for a shot at a radio show. this fucking skindink gets the baton by working his way up the ranks and taking scraps of airtime. only way he does this is through financial support of his parents. sam from chester pa does not make it on minimum wage in NYC for all those years.

just.......unearned. untalented. unlistenable.

he says fuck you to the audience at large and has always broadcasted specifically to his bubble circle of friends and family who all approve. mamas boy shit.

hes a fucking bubble boy.

and to be honest i want his mic and his time slot.

I like him and Jim together. I laugh on the regs.

the dude from usual suspects. fucks his name. he gave sam roberts the best on-air beating and his critique was spot on. thats another must-listen.

Kevin Pollack

you do good work dude

Talk about his after show

My suggestion of the title would be "the least professional broadcaster： primate Sam Roberts"

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could pool enough together to be able to afford some reenactments of Sams childhood and college years? We could cast a scrawny, yet unlikable kid just starting his freshman year(with mother in tow). He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t eat anything aside from annoyingly childish junk food, and he irritates every single person he burdens with his presence. However, the actor woulff maintain this self satisfied/judgemental look on his face as he assumes his peers view him as someone so cool, he doesn’t need to drink or eat adult foods.

/u/porsalin, I hope you know the burden you bear. You’re responsible for letting the world know that an unqualified, unfunny troglodyte with a totally unearned sense of entitlement is getting paid to host a comedy show that was practically stolen from a 30 year veteran with proven success. God speed.

Sam isn’t interesting enough to have a documentary made about him. You should make one about Patrice instead.

Sam dun goofed

Not sure if this has been mentioned here but this one is great. Their instant, gut reaction laughter says it all.

https://youtu.be/MPp24BKD1WI?t=4215

Jim: There's different levels of being reared, like some people can't feed themselves some people can't do anything, and then there's others who go out and get a little job...

Denny: Like a WWE Podcast

A lot about his face would be a nice approach.

You gotta do a Sam and Dave section. Special delivery. And than and Sam. Frame it as Sam perpetually turning on his partners to leech onto a bigger name.

Kenny unloads on Sam for his poor management and blaming of Erock.

Sam would rather be worming his way into the studio to get more air time than doing his actual job and then scapegoating Erock.

https://youtu.be/dhplAsQLjDA

"Career"? Is this doc gonna be 3mins 30sec?

Please mention the fact that he has never (at least to my knowledge), NEVER gotten a news story right. He reads a headline and then remembers something he was required to read when he was 5'2" - you know, 18 - and regurgitates what he thinks the hip hop community wants to hear.

Any time he's asked about his sex life, even to this day he so clearly has no idea what to say and tries to give a vague generic answer and hopes they'll move on. He's very 40 year old virgin. He's gay or asexual at best.

What was the episode where that guy totally intimidated him, totally bullied him and alpha-maled him into submissive silence?

@15:13 Opie calls out Sam for turning on Scorch after he tried to help him, realizing that Sam would one day turn on him too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUg8PGCC4dQ&t=288s

sam's such a fuck. he was a smarmy fuck the first moment they ever put him on air. i sat in the studio audience after a walkover in like 07 or 08 or some shit, and guys on air went around kinda asking everyone where they were from to try to gauge if any of us were worth investing any airtime in (spoiler alert: not really, we were boring).

anyway, sam's in his infancy still and he's the one holding the wireless mic so they can hear us and, for literally his own amusement because nobody else could possibly see this from the angle he was standing, he gradually pressed the mic further and further into the side of my fucking nose as i answered the 2 or 3 questions.

Don't forget that he also fucked over Than and East Side Dave when cohosting with them

There's a clip where they have all the works do stand up and Sam bombs pretty bad but Erock does well.

He used to fetch coffee

Jane Goodall covered everything already.

Sam was more comfortable putting a giant black phallus in his mouth than a perfectly prepared piece of steak.

Try and get Pat Duffy for an interview

Just focus on the fact that he's a roach who just stuck around and survived all the firings until eventually Opie, Nana and Jim all split up, and he could slither into a spot as a co host.

He called 911 for a flat tire

He's not fucking worth it. Please don't waste your time on that mong'.

I've more or less ignored Sam for years, but now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, he really is just a slimy disgusting piece of reptilian fucking sociopathic shit. Juvenile fucking pampered little mean spirited passive aggressive suburbanite. Privileged little smarmy fucking cunt who bullies everyone that he perceives as being beneath him but would run like hell from anyone retaliating. He is a human bum fights video.

You're doing the right thing.

We need this quote^ in the doc, Porsy-baby

Piss balloon

You have to interview Sam's mom and ask where she keeps his foreskin, because you know she has it.

https://youtu.be/cdxR8IYOaR4 Not sure if this has been posted, but this is basically Ant and Jim roasting Sam for 50 mins.

40:50 - caller calls sam’s hair pubes 43:55 - Ant does a spot on Sam impression.

I hate how impervious Sam appears to criticism.

And how could anyone forget his Junior Mint rap thing on embarrassing tape day. He steered so much into the curve on that thing and wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as he should’ve been.

There is some audio of him talking about how he fights with his wife. He would say something like he'd degrade her by telling her he was smarter than her and he would always be smarter than her.

True or not, he was being a dick to someone he should thank for holding still long enough for him to fuck never mind marry.

It spoke volumes about his destructive, bullying ways.

If I find the audio I'll edit my comment with a clip.

good try sam, you can’t hide behind that username

You could do an Opie comeback documentary, how he was hated and then turned hero at the end

Only works WWE jobs to have easy access to scantily clad men. He ignores the women wrestlers.

New car paid for by parents with "notsam" plates. Intern at the time.

He doesn't deserve one. He really is worthless

He is an avid fan of docking until he had to get circumcised at age 32.

Didn't he lose the physical fitness challenge to Erock? Like he couldn't even do a couple push ups and he weighed 110 pounds at the time.

As much as I despise Sam, I can't imagine him being an interesting doc subject. And make no mistake, he'll take this attention as a huge compliment.

You're right, but they won't listen. They won't stop until there are documentaries on Sam, Sherrod, Ritchie & Bonnie, Bobby, Burr, Nia, and Dawn. And Rich, Bonnie, and Bobby will again pay a heavy fee for being peripherally associated with those radio rowdies.

Did you try to get an interview? I'm sure he'd refuse but maybe it's worth a passive-aggressive tweet.

God bless. God bless. I’m eagerly awaiting with baited breath for this particular documentary, good sir. Put the final stake through the black bloodless heart of that alien headed fuck, bitch cackle cunt Sam Roberts. Make us proud once more, Porsalin!

If you need any help with regards to information about professional wrestling, I am a walking encyclopedia of pro wrestling history.

need scorch shit

I would highlight his cheapness highlighted by his awful honeymoon. Room by the parking garage with no window, eating at wal-mart for lunches and generally just turning off his wife the entire trip.

the photo where he is at a gay wrestling event sitting in a section all by himself looking like a fool

There is an entire show on you tube of the mongoloid discussing how he cock blocked his wife's boyfriend at the time by pretending to be his friend only to talk shit behind his back to Jess. This was something he was proud of and apparently shows how stupid is wife is. It would be great to show how this is how Roberts operates, dismantling a show we all loved only to come out unscathed and literally on a show that replaced a show he interned on.

The fact that he made his career being a snakey, disloyal, unkind and ruthless scumbag. Except when he had the chance to give Opie what he deserved. Then all of a sudden Sam is a “loyal” guy who is grateful to Gregg for all that opportunity. The one guy who truly deserves a motherfucking, Sam defends like a battered wife. A truly beta male.

These may have been mentioned but fuck reading 400 comments to find out...

That time that Denny absolutely mushroomed stamped him on his Cubist head for his fucking abysmal borefest of an intro to the O&A 20 Year Unmasked show.

When they played his audition tapes for whatever shitty hit music shows they have there. "OoOOoohw, my heeeAaadD". He should have spayed and neutered there and then after that atrocity.

Lastly, lest we forget perhaps the best insight into what a futile excuse for an entertainer he always was and forever shall be; his cringe-worthy attempt at lame white-guy-rapping when he was in college .

God, do I hate that mong.

These may have been mentioned but fuck reading 400 comments to find out...

That time that Denny absolutely mushroomed stamped him on his Cubist head for his fucking abysmal borefest of an intro to the O&A 20 Year Unmasked show.

When they played his audition tapes for whatever shitty hit music shows they have there. "OoOOoohw, my heeeAaadD". He should have spayed and neutered there and then after that atrocity.

Lastly, lest we forget perhaps the best insight into what a futile excuse for an entertainer he always was and forever shall be; his cringe-worthy attempt at lame white-guy-rapping when he was in college .

God, do I hate that mong.

talk about his sexual escapades with Bob Kelly

Why do a Sam documentary? He's such a banal person that I can't see any big blows to land that make it worth it, and he will relish the attention.

Sam actually wears things like this

https://www.instagram.com/p/BWbI_obBwCJ/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BapgMxbhFuL/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/Baj-8ZaBykM/?hl=en

Anything without his voice preferably

Don't forget when he had to be Bob Kelly's prison bitch.

Roberts is an amalgam of stupefying arrogance and concietededness coupled with mediocrity in every attribute—intelligence, personality and humor while cloaked in a total lack of self awareness. Add mean-spirited bullying, physical features only a mother blob fish would tolerate, a god-awful cackle, nails-on-a-chalkboard voice and a penchant for bloviating without substance and you have the makings of a major steaming pile of clown dung.

Probably already posted. Random thoughts. Legendary for not being able to take critism. ( So douchy). Being able to start shit ,which was a fun listen. But never with Danny ( Space Invader) Ross. Look forward to your next Doc. Huge fan.

A different radio host was passing by, and stopped and changed the tire for him.

I was thinking he could use some sort of Ken Burns zoom effect on one of the illustrations as he's talking about said person.

The one who have Anthony and Bailey Jay together is a masterpiece.

Indeed, an homage to 'A nice big cock' from Fight Club.

He's not even that knowledgeable in wwe

And someone who had been good to him personally too

Figure It Out Sam Roberts

Sounds like a new name

I like him and Jim together. I laugh on the regs.

the dude from usual suspects. fucks his name. he gave sam roberts the best on-air beating and his critique was spot on. thats another must-listen.

Kevin Pollack

The tits are 7/10. The rest is trash.