A message to Bob Kelly
59 2018-08-01 by howlittleweknow
Bob,
I’ve heard you mention this sub a few times before, so I hope this can somehow find you. I’ve always loved your appearances on O&A. Not only are you funny, but you seem like a really good dude too. This post isn’t to embarrass you or make you feel bad.
I’m honestly concerned about your health. You’ve gotten pretty big in the last few years and you smoke cigars as well. That’s a bad combo. I think your health might get really bad if you don’t make some changes soon. Last year I got into a really big Patrice kick and listened to him for hours a day. One day I read about his death on Wikipedia and it actually made me cry. Such a funny and good guy gone because his eating habits had such a detrimental effect on his health. I would hate to think the same thing may happen to you, another really funny, really good guy. I’ve heard countless times on O&A about you being able to lose tons of weight when you mind to it. . I know it may seem difficult to find the motivation to lose weight when you’re married and not out trying to get laid. But you have a family, Bob. They need you to be around as long as you can.
Anyway good luck, Bob. I wish you the best.
26 comments
1 bozo_merkin 2018-08-01
Dearest Bob,
Die before the sub gets banned so we can mock your death so much that the sub gets banned for it.
Love,
not faggots
1 SuperToes845 2018-08-01
He's not done working on his 7th fat. Don't worry, he's got this.
1 Ant_Sucks 2018-08-01
Dear howlittleweknow,
Oh how little you know. Bobby is a greedy pig and will never change.
1 SpitItoutSocrates 2018-08-01
Dear Bob Kelly, u r as fat as a whale.
1 Mexijesus 2018-08-01
I was waiting for a vos plug but you're actually just a big, dumb crybaby. Gross.
1 Subeck 2018-08-01
In all seriousness bobby probably needs to get a gastric sleeve because hes not going to lose any weight naturally
1 Sockucucka 2018-08-01
Come on, you think that would help? He'd do twinkie enemas.
1 TurningFrogsGay 2018-08-01
In order for Bobby to do the kind of cardio he needs in order to really get healthy, he needs to drop the weight so his joints can take the impact of a regular treadmill routine. Having his stomach stapled is the best way to get to that point.
That or he could swim for an hour a day [insert whale joke here].
1 Jungies 2018-08-01
What gets me is it's really easy to make Bobby puke. All he needs is to figure out a daily diet, and if he's at risk of relapsing on junk, watch "Two Girls, One Cup" on his phone.
Fuckin' weight will melt off.
1 snargfursk 2018-08-01
I hope he gets his shit together. He's a genuinely great guy and having him, Patrice and Otto die before O, A or J would be a great tragedy.
1 Ugh_69 2018-08-01
wat about sam ;)
1 yevyoyevyo 2018-08-01
Anybody dying before Sam is a great tragedy
1 throwbenny 2018-08-01
Ha ha you cried faggot
1 howlittleweknow 2018-08-01
From Patrice's wiki;
"During the early hours of October 19, 2011, O'Neal phoned his girlfriend to tell her he couldn't move his legs. He was rushed to Jersey City Medical Center, and later Englewood Hospital, where doctors performed surgery to remove a blood clot in his head.[1] He lost his ability to speak, and later his ability to move, for a time communicating by eye movements before losing that ability as well. Doctors warned that if he survived, he would likely remain permanently paralyzed and unable to speak"
I know I'm a faggot for crying but come on.
1 aRTie02150 2018-08-01
Cherry Coke is the number one killer in the black community.
1 officeredditor 2018-08-01
No it's not, it's other blacks.
1 FaggotBannedKeith 2018-08-01
Could you imagine if this happened to Norton? The surgeons would be confused as fuck.
1 TheElDan 2018-08-01
He’d write a memoir in about an hour.
1 SuperToes845 2018-08-01
All he'd be saying would be shit like, "Can't you get egg whites right in this place!?"
1 TheElDan 2018-08-01
He shouldn’t have gone to the doctor. What did he need to move his legs for? Just hire a crane to drag him out of bed and a flatbed to bring him to the Cellar.
1 DomMyers 2018-08-01
I bet people lined up to go roast crippled Patrice, so many comics afraid or too unfunny to go at him just rushing to take shot as Patrices lays there furiously blinking. That shits hilarious.
1 SuperToes845 2018-08-01
The diabeetus really motherfucked him.
1 Superbad415 2018-08-01
I’m with you brother man, even grew my beard out when it happened.
1 thrillated 2018-08-01
Dear Bob,
Why do you love food more than your family?
1 TheDirtyWolfman 2018-08-01
You gay?
1 Ed_Wuncler_Da_3rd 2018-08-01
Bob Kelly doesn't give a fuck
1 jizzajam 2018-08-01
At this point you think maybe he'd get another shrink since this one is doing nothing for his food addiction
1 Jhonopolis 2018-08-01
GAYYY
1 CrackerGoodyear 2018-08-01
Nice compassion, stupid. Bob. You're fat as shit. I don't care if you die but your idiot family may (?), take a walk and stop eating butter straight outta the wrapper.