He wants to be an artist that's is very troubled .

Well he's no artist but he's certainly troubled with his sexuality.

Are u also suggesting fact he idolized notorious addict, and "prince of darkness" Ozzy might've also impacted this fucking bizarre behavior of confusing alcoholism -

...with being 15, 4'10, 90lbs...drinking vodka very quickly a few times...and concluding you're erratic behavior means you're an alcoholic?

Those assumptions would be crazy.

you are putting words in my mouth but they seem smart so yes thats what im sayin.

He smoked cigarettes for a while.

back in the 90s he stole a stereo system and sold it for a carton of marlboro lights. real problem.

I heard he killed his own kid while fleeing the police, i'd say theres something wrong about it

Nah that was Fez

And weren't cigarettes about $2 a pack back in the 90s?

I think Jim was a spoiled kid in some ways who got his way too often.

He didn't like his 'cow licks' of his hair, & his mum went along with it & got him a Dr's note so he could wear his hat in school. He had cowlicks, not fuckin cancer!

If you want to see my tumor, just ask!

He didn't like his 'cow licks' of his hair, & his mum went along with it & got him a Dr's note so he could wear his hat in school.

Ew, really? How had I never heard that. What a gimp

'Gimp's asleep'

Well, wake 'is asa up

Anyone have the clip of this?

I don’t need a clip ... I believe

Wouldn't being the only kid exempt from the no hats at school rule just make everyone hate you more?

Plus, who would want to shove in a locker more: a dork with cowlicks or a white kid in a Kangol hat?

And it was the floppy fisherman's Kangol.

Was Brylcreem too expensive.

What he needs is a Dr's not saying that he doesn't like to suck cock anymore.

He's so desperate for attention and sympathy that he steals addiction valor.

He’s a sympathy thief

I bet he would LOVE an intervention. It would show people really cared.

unfolds paper

Dear Jimmy,

We have all been worried about you for a long time now. We want to tell you that your dependence on mustard is destroying your life. I can't take any more of the pain and confusion when you tear up the house after a four day French's bender. Don't your autographed photos deserve better?

Will you stop and promise me to get help today?

Oof

When I came into XM one morning, there you were with your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting.

"Addiction valor" haha

I WAS A HORSE SOLDIER

And while he's pretending to be addicted to all these things, absolutely no one is calling Jim on his obvious daily cocaine habit.

The manic behavior, the incessant sniffing, the ADD... is coke just considered so normal nowadays that it doesn't even count as an addiction?

Everyone knows his first sinus surgery didn't take!

It's Afrin. Very addictive and you can always tell when Jim is wired on it because he's manic, sniffy, and clearing his throat without hitting the MUTE button.

But he doesn't count that as a real addiction because nobody ever looks at a struggle with antihistamine dependency as "cool".

He's too lame for coke. He's just a fag with AIDS.

Is there valor in being an addict? Because I haven't found that shit quite yet.

Depends on your commitment

up your dosage

Doesn't Jim keep a fancy bottle of vodka in his apartment?

Most alcoholics would never have alcohol just on show like that - the temptation would be far too great.

He's a phony, stolen-valor addict.

Do us and your family a favor and have a drink for old times sake

lil taste

And remember he thought rum in cake or ice cream was going to set off his addiction. Just the (lil) taste would remind him of drinking the alcohol and he was afraid he'd go on a bender. His life is just a LARP.

Exactly. I mean, he's even refuses to drink non-alcoholic beer, which is retarded - you'd have to slam 32 of them to feel anything approaching 'tipsy'.

And also, he thinks that recovering alcoholics who have the occasional non-alcoholic beer are failures at sobriety and are still actively drinking....

AA is a fucking cult!

If you haven’t had a drink in 30 years you’re not an alcoholic.

This is why I parted with AA. I just wanted to be sober, but guys who’d been sober since “Remote Control” was still on MTV told me that I would be in peril unless I was doing multiple meetings a week 35 years from now. Most of them are a lot like Jim, actually. They alternate between being sanctimonious dicks and then using AA like a therapy session, whining about title loans gone bad, being ostracized by family, etc. every time I left a meeting I wanted a 40 oz and a fat rail of blow just to cheer up.

I met an AA guy one day, his proudest accomplishment was not beating a pedophile to death in prison. Spent most of his life selling crack or guns and that’s what he was willing to admit. Such a piece of shit his own mother wouldn’t let him pay her bills, let alone speak to her, but he spoke like he was a saint on earth now that he wasn’t using drugs or alcohol. Speaking of saints he’d supposedly curb you for taking the lords name in vain, fucking psycho.

Some AA guys are cool, but when I had to go to meetings while I was in highschool it was like a circle jerk of self pity. It seemed like they were all trying to one up each other on the tragedies in their lives.

AA seems to be a very American thing. The "sharing" (no one asked or cares), Puritanism and egotism of the whole thing. In the rest of the civilized world, an ex-alkie will just say "no thanks, it doesn't agree with me" when offered a drink at a party/dinner whatever and that's the end of it. Or he won't and will eventually end up sleeping in the street. No one wants to hear a sob story, including most of the people in AA meetings I'd guess, nodding their heads mock-empathetically while just waiting for their turn to talk.

being around all those negative weak people can't be good for the psyche. Twice a week for 35 years there's that guy's new addiction.

In 34 years, at 50 years old no less.

He’s the least addictive person in the world. He’s incredible disciplined. He eats the same thing everyday, avoids grains of salt. He wakes up very early every morning for radio & performs standup every night. He has a very consistent gym routine. Where’s the addiction?

When he gave up cigarettes it seemed like he had very little struggle. How did he do it? Just following a “quit smoking now” book & then never touched a cigarette in 15years?

He seems to be able to quit unhealthy habits & adapt to healthy habits very easily. I’m actually jealous of him

Yeah but I believe him. I'm like that too because everything is all or nothing. It's obsessive more than being an addict I think. Your obsession is either doing the thing or not doing the thing but either way it's irritating to other people. The only thing I think he lies about is his alcoholism.

And sexuality

Just for whatever, he used the patch to quit early on. Said a comic pulled him aside and insisted so he doesn't half-ass this thing. And Jim's self-discipline was being worked out since he was 18. 18 is still pretty old to know you're an addict..it's a powerful feeling. I believe he's prone to it.

I think this was well said, but I just hate how he wears addiction like a badge. Anytime someone brings up a type of substance he immediately has to remind the room that he's an "addict with some real problems". Look coming from someone who was addicted to hard drugs since hiighschool and OD twice, if someone asks me if I want a drink I say "No thanks, I don't drink". I don't make myself the center of attention, and bring down good vibes of the room.

I think most people just hate Jim's approach to it. Anytime someone brings up a substance, he has to remind the room that hes an addict. It come across as narcissistic, deflecting the rooms attention to himself and brings down any good vibes. As a addict myself I totally understand what you are saying, but I don't go around wearing my addiction like it's a badge of honor. If someone asks me if I'd like a drink I say "No thanks, I don't drink"

Jim has never relapsed. You aren't an addict if you are one and done. I don't understand his fascination with faking addiction. It certainly doesn't make him more interesting.

Who said you aren't an addict if you never relapse?

Ozzy was/is an addict so Jim is too.

All of his idols besides Gene Simmons were addicts, so he thinks he needs to be one too. He's in love with the idea of the tortured creative genius, and most of them were alcoholics or drug addicts.

Plus he's ashamed at how average he is. He was a spoiled kid from a suburban middle class upbringing. He got everything he wanted growing up, and his parents even still kept supporting him until he was 30 so he could try writing jokes all day to try to perform at night instead of working a day job.

He got into a "drunken" argument with his father because his father wanted to watch Mr. Belvedere and Jim told him it sucked and he was stupid for liking it. They made plans to put him in rehab the next day. And even though he never had a relapse he made his parents keep paying for drug rehab camps for years afterwards because it made him feel special to go LARP being a drunk.

And he doesn't see how boring his "addiction" stories are. Because his real life was so lame these made up stories sound seedy and interesting to him.

Apparently Anthony heard him talking about quitting and said “oh just throw the fucking pack away already” cold turkey is the only way to quit cigs. The whole rehab expert jimmy shtick is exquisitely disgusting considering he says he quit drinking at (18?)because he would cut himself and not because he developed a physical dependency. It’s not the booze jim, it’s you.

All the comedians talk about a book by Alan Carr on how to quit smoking & I thought jimmy used that. My friend read it & she did quit smoking for like 2 months

For two months being the key phrase. Cold turkey is the only way. They’ve had 400 years to perfect the recipe and make them the most addictive thing available for purchase besides Diet Coke.

It’s weird you say that because the same girl drinks Diet Coke non-stop. Like, has to stop at McDonalds for a “large Diet Coke” atleast three times a day

Yeah it’s really high in caffeine and has sodium( electrolytes) so it actually rehydrates you. This might just be a conspiracy theory but I heard they are grandfathered in and still allowed to import coca plant in order to maintain the same flavor. Also the research on aspartame is mostly bullshit but that shit does occasionally turn toxic if it’s left in the sun.

Didn't you hear? They use "depleted" cocoa leaves, totally different

This post really activated my almonds

Agreed. I've smoked twice in my life, for fairly short periods, a few years the first time, and five years the second time, with about 10 years in between. Both times I just quit and just didn't buy any packs. After a few weeks, the urge went away. I quit last year (the second time) and I don't think I'll go back, it's just too much of a pain in the ass, wallet, and breathing.

I don't think method matters, the will power after you quit matters. I used nicotine patches to taper off and never went back.

Exactly.

Somehow a splash of wine in his pan sauce is going to throw him into a downward spiral of substance abuse.

It's laughable.

I wish he’d give up his addiction to mediocrity

....Drive around and look at Man Prostitutes.

How do you know he's lying about hookers? Not asking in a douchey way, I'm genuinely curious.

Maybe not lying about hookers. But certainly lying about his "addiction" to them.

Norton is just a regular guy who likes dirty sex, just like he was a regular teen who on occasion drank. He so desperately wants to be seen as a Rob Ford like figure.

Ahh Bobby Ford.. may he rest in feces.

Great man.

I don't think Jimmy likes dirty sex, I don't think Jimmy has ever gotten hookers often in his life.

My theory is that Jimmy is the kind of creep who sits on cam websites or chat rooms 24/7 and that's it. I remember him once saying he " Spent all night sex chatting ". He just makes up all the prostitution stuff so he can seem perverted in a less pathetic manner.

People who have a fetish don't use it as a punchline for "OMG I'M SO DISGUSTING AND CREEPY!" because since they get off on it it's not a joke. Like Ian Fiddance likes trannies, but he talks about it completely differently than Jim. It's "yeah, that's my thing" and usually it's others bringing it up to make fun of him. Not the Jimmy "I'M SO SICK WANTING A HOOKER WITH A PENIS!"

the ritual

ha ha ha holy shit I forgot he used to say this. imagine watching this creep.

thought it was a zima?

He thinks having a dark, twisted past will make him seem more deep and artistic. It's really awful.

It's kind of like how Opie went through a phase where he tried to make it his thing that he "loved being uncomfortable" and intentionally making people cringe.

To be honest, I'd say there's pressure to be "fucked up" if you're doing stand-up and a radio personality on a show that was synonymous with the Cellar comedians of the '00s. To be addiction/mental health issue-free dude would make him boring to listeners, so in that regard I kinda sympathise with him. Still though... very disingenuous. I wonder if the whole sex-addict thing is fiction as well?

All his free time is spent worrying about himself. Makes for GREAT radio muhturial.

I heard an interview with Billy Corgan where he was talking about another musician and said “he’d rather look like a junkie than be one”. That always stuck with me when these stories come up. It’s “cool” to sound “dangerous” but if you never struggle with addiction (and haven’t fallen off in 30 years), you’re not an addict. Maybe you were, maybe you never were, but you’re certainly not now!

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Alcohol lowers inhibitions and lets your true self out. He got drunk and probably had some sort of gay sex he regrets. He’s not an alcoholic. He fears losing control.

Jim should be arrested for loitering with intent to solicit prostitution.

And since he's taking prep he doesn't have to worry as much about catching the bug in jail.

His addiction to veiny, 7 inch clits

It's because he is a super boring person and needs something about him to be interesting.

Why are you sidestepping Jim's obvious cocaine habit? sniff

"Jim wants so bad to be an addict."

That's exactly the point.. he's addicted to addiction.

And man, that's a motherfucker.

Seriously, that's a problem.

Anybody remember when when Jim said he keeps a bottle of wine in his house for guests, and faggot Anthony said in his high pitched femanine voice-“OHH jimmy what are you doing?!?!”

I've listened to Howard Stern for years, and he's the same way. He grew up with two loving parents who stayed married, and still are to this day. Howard always wanted people to believe that he had a terrible childhood. Same with Jimmy, I'm sorry I don't buy any of the childhood shit. Who openly talks about stuff like that? Sounds all made up to me.

He stinks and I don’t like him.

Fawkin roasted

This is my favorite thing to shit on Jim about because it's so cringy and transparent.

Jimmy did used show up to North Jersey (like a stones throw from Manhattan) AA meetings. I have that info from a few people who saw him there. NICE ANONYMITY FUCK HEADS.

Going to meetings doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth though.

He could be there to do some 13th stepping.

"I am Iron Man"

Stands outside of window w boom box

Hooked on a lack of salt. A true definition of a fiend

You exaggerate in all this bullets

Faggots avoids alcohol but not the gay cancer

Jim is so infuriating. This was over 30 years ago. You can have a fucking beer now, you faggot.

It’s weird you say that because the same girl drinks Diet Coke non-stop. Like, has to stop at McDonalds for a “large Diet Coke” atleast three times a day

He could be there to do some 13th stepping.

Agreed. I've smoked twice in my life, for fairly short periods, a few years the first time, and five years the second time, with about 10 years in between. Both times I just quit and just didn't buy any packs. After a few weeks, the urge went away. I quit last year (the second time) and I don't think I'll go back, it's just too much of a pain in the ass, wallet, and breathing.