His go to technique

He really has gotten good at this.

Knowing that any real doctor will probably admit him immediately, Artie uses the ER to dodge his responsibilities and to absolve himself from doing so. "I was sick just completely out of nowhere but doing better! Thanks and I'll be fulfilling my obligations as soon as the doctors let me!".

Faggot is terrified of prison

whoa buddy - he's got a really really bad sinus infection - ok? that might only take a few days of antibiotics to knock out

Play the game, never let the game play you

If anyone actually knew what this CONMAN is doing he would have been in jail two months ago. He has been delaying jail repeatedly to stay out long enough to shoot CRASHING ! He has FAKED every ER trip and NOT EVEN BEEN IN THE ER. He just lies and does what he wants to get OVER again and again. People need to contact Essec County Prosecutors office and Judge Sivilli and TELL THEM THE REAL DEAL ! This guy hits WOMEN, hits COPS, drives stoned on SLAM & COKE at will and is a MENACE to everyone on the road !!

So are coke and heroin legal now in New Jersey, or what?

Depends how many jews you have on the payroll.

Depends how many jew broads it takes to fight dracula.

Careful bruh, /u/mershcomic is gonna call you antisemetic.

I've never in my life implied someone was antisemetic. You're a fucking retard who tried to blame the state of Artie's life on (((DA JOOZ))) and got called out for being an idiot. And now you've become an obsessed faggot...but keep thinking everyone else is the problem.

Get some fucking psychiatric help.

Keep lying and insulting, it's really gotten you far.

How many times are you gonna use the word "faggot" before you feel like a man? ;)

[–]Literal_Luke 3 points 3 minutes ago* Keep lying and insulting, it's really gotten you far. People can decide for themselves, I linked right to your shit.

Also, how many times are you gonna use the word "faggot" before you feel like a man? ;)

My fat disgusting aunt got caught with 20 bags of heroin and a bunch of Suboxone. She got 7 years probation. She didn't even snitch the reason why they were so lenient was because she's so fat and unhealthy it's almost inhumane to jail her. Almost like artie.

inhumane to jail her

Too expensive, you mean.

7 years probation

being accountable to some cunt for 7 years doesn't sound lenient to me.

That is not lenient. It's designed for you to trip on your peckah and go to jail at some point.

Artie at the trial https://imgur.com/a/IElOUg0

He admitted that he could NOT do anymore time and he would flee first and he paid his lawyer over$30,000 and said JUST KEEP ME OUT, MAN. All his excuses are perfectly timed bullshit as we know but why didn't the judge sentence him today in absentia. Its done frequently and this fat meth head slob is really messing up the courts docket ! I have diabetes andctake five diabetes meds including three insulins and very high blood pressure. When the sugar goes high you inject, PERIOD ! For his nasal surgery thsts an ENT appointment in a n office or out patient setting. WHY is the judge allowing all these asshole moves ?

He is such a flat-out BITCH, TOO SCARED to face the judge but tells ni66er jokes, insults everyone, fights with everyone, BULLIES everyone and screws over everyone. He is a total scumbag !

Just off yourself you pig, one HOTSHOT !

If junkies aren’t hurting anyone but themselves they shouldn’t be put in jail. Artie isn’t robbing people so fuck it.

Artie isn’t robbing people so fuck it.

I mean, he's funding Mexican cartels, but as long as he's not holding the chainsaw himself...

I stand by my original statement.

Just to be clear, if I hired a hitman to kill someone you loved, you'd be angry at him - but you and I would be fine, right? I mean, I only paid him to murder people - but I haven't killed anyone, so you'd have no problem with me.

Right?

If you hire a hitman your intention is to get someone killed. If you buy some heroin your intention is to get high. All the shit in this world you own is made in sweatshops, does that make you a slave owner?

All the shit in this world you own is made in sweatshops, does that make you a slave owner?

If I buy stuff made by slaves, then yes - I'm responsible for slavery. My actions have consequences.

Addicts often have trouble accepting the consequences of their actions (see Artie Lange). How about you - any blood on your hands?

Your hitman example is retarded and by your own admission you're responsible for slavery. Any blood on my hands? I drive a German car so apparently I'm responsible for the Holocaust now too.

Thought so.

You're going to become irrationally angry the next time you see a story on Mexican cartel violence, and blame me.

Thought so.

1. Explain that because I don't particularly appreciate your attitude. 2. Legalizing all drugs would eliminate the cartels and overcrowding in prisons immediately. Not to mention the social issues faced from the fallout of locking up parts of nuclear families over nonviolent crimes. Keep blaming desperate dope fiends for the violence in Mexico though. $20 says you've had a girl cheat on you with her dealer.

Thought so.

well, if it was legal then it wouldn't fund cartels. The poppy's only a plant, it comes from the eart.

Oh, sure - but it is illegal, and Artie is funding a wide range of murderous shitheads.

Blame that on NAFTA. We should be procuring our herion from local sources.

Afghanistan is not really local.

Well, he did rob Anthony.

He's to much of a pussy to shoot it and boy is he missing out. Highschool kids from the burbs sniff dope. Lifers like Artie shoot it because it's better and he's 3/4 dead.

Nice spelling, grammar, and punctuation, stupid.

This is the exact reason. He's done this, like fucking clockwork, every time a court date is on the horizon.

Just face the music. Make the judge take pity on your junkie ass. Stop avoiding the inevitable.

You are a fat slop and need to straighten out your own life. Stop worrying about Artie you have the sugar aids.

Simplicity is the key to brilliance and you my friend should write a self-help book. Or at least the epitaph of this sub when it finally dies.

There was...a house...in Hoboken. Was owned.. by a cripple's son.

That's how you avoid court you have your lawyer say you are in the hospital or a rehab program. If Artie gets better he's dumb to not flee to a long term treatment center 6-12 months. The court won't forget but the judge will accept his lawyers explanation of things. Doubt he will be sentenced to jail or prison. The don't do that to white addicts. I bet he will end up in drug court, which could be good for him or send him to jail the first time he fucks up.

Would it really surprise anyone if you were to discover that Artie deliberately fucks with his blood sugar right before he scurries off to the ER to duck his obligations and responsibilities? They take a reading and he's way off the charts so they admit him, at which point the doctors are like "what the fuck happened to your nose, you junkie fuck?" because it's all just one big infection at this point anyway.

Meanwhile he has five or six bundles of dope stashed in the lining of that crusty old junkie jacket he always wears so for him it's like a junkie vacation. Clean bed, TV, free food, extra meds, it's probably paradise compared to the old pizza boxes he usually sleeps on.

Meanwhile he has five or six bundles of dope stashed in the lining of that crusty old junkie jacket he always wears

Good call. I don't have any experience with these fuck-ups but you're right, you hardly ever see him without a ratty old jacket.

It's retarded. Lots of people successfully manage diabetes at home every single day and sinus infections are normally treated with some antibiotics and rarely require hospital stays.

prison would be the same though

Except in prison he a) can't leave whenever he likes and b) can't bring a bunch of heroin in with him.

b) but he can score inside just as easily, blow some of that cumia cash

This is true, however how long would he last inside? Once he mows through whatever he has left he'd truly be up shit's creek with no enablers or easy money gigs to tide him over.

You really should be shipped off to a labor camp when you've been an addict for 10+ years and you're still clogging up the law system and taking up hospital beds.

We've heard everything you've got to offer and all the stories you've been re-telling since the Stern days, now go smash up some rocks, you flabby waste of skin.

Malingerer

Can this guy just die already so we can move on?

This is what bothers me about the justice system. Artie has used this bullshit maneuver 2-3 times already with this same case and the same judge. He keeps doing it because it works.

Throw the guy in jail. He'll clean up VERY quickly.

He honestly belongs in jail.

He honesyly belongs in jail a cemetery.

just wheel his hospital bed into the courtroom like mubarak

complications of diabetes

Gee, what could be making it so complicated?

Heroin.

What would Grandma Caprio think?!

A 2 month stint in a low security dorm style prison might not be the worst thing for Artie. I think he'd be able to detox, do some reading and basically get off the toxic treadmill he's been on.

Pulling an Uncle Jun

Him being alive is extremely selfish of him

Poor fella. He just can't seem to beat this damn flu!

Arties nostrils will be raped in prison. The overflow of cum in his sinuses will eventually go to his heroin-wet brain and drop him from the face of the earth, just like compound media

Judges are pussies. It's a woman, isn't it.

If I were on the bench I'd sentence his ass in absentia to decades behind bars.

"Hey judge, I can't make it to court today. I'm sick as a daaawg."

Not to worry Arthur, the state will hold your celebrity cell.lol.

Sentence him to hard labor. Quit letting him skate and slide with this bullshit