Artie's sentencing for heroin possession is in 1 week.
47 2018-05-11 by az116
Will he show up? Will he stab himself before then? Will he be hospitalized before then for "diabetes"? Will he get jail time? If he gets probation, how long will it be before he fails a drug test and goes to jail?
27 comments
1 Christopher_Barton 2018-05-11
I'm sure the "Wanna Bet?" sales will cover his bail.
1 az116 2018-05-11
He's out on bail right now. There's no "bail" for a sentencing.
1 lolercakesmcgee 2018-05-11
Everything I know about “the system” I learned from Anthony Cumia and KillaKuhn court documents.
1 Christopher_Barton 2018-05-11
"It's none of my business!"- Guy who's business actually depends on this man
1 IbDotLoyingAwright 2018-05-11
Nice save, stupid
1 Bams_seed 2018-05-11
He gets house arrest and has to phone into the aa show and still manages to be late/no show a few days a week
1 IbDotLoyingAwright 2018-05-11
To be fair, he did have the sniffles last time I saw him.
1 bal0rd 2018-05-11
uh not feeling so good
1 SoreNun 2018-05-11
Hyuck hyuck hyuck, I put it on my cheeseburgers yer honor.
1 PhilipMarma 2018-05-11
“Hi Judge? Ah, it’s me Artie...”
1 maloonigans 2018-05-11
"I cant make jail today - im sick cough sick as a dog"
1 Peckas1 2018-05-11
I'm picturing a sloppy and high Artie in front of Fred Gwynne.
1 IbDotLoyingAwright 2018-05-11
He's gonna ride off into the sunset before this week is up. Better tell Lil Yimmy to go home and get his fawkin autograph pen.
1 LamarThePotato 2018-05-11
He doesn't show up now and will not show up in the future so no change there.
1 az116 2018-05-11
He hasn't tweeted in 3 days and missed yesterday's "show". He may already be dead.
1 Andkcojskaosncicoanw 2018-05-11
We can only hope eh
1 HappensHappen 2018-05-11
I don’t usually pray but I was considering praying for Artie’s death, but that might annoy God. I hear that sky nigger "loves everyone" or something.
1 throwawaymanthrows 2018-05-11
All good options.
1 Literal_Luke 2018-05-11
If (((they))) still need him to shoot some scenes, they'll pay off whoever needs to be paid off so he's free to do them.
If they don't, he'll be going away for a bit.
1 Phkna1 2018-05-11
I hope the judge is a Jewish woman with a vampire fetish.
1 Phantas_Magorical 2018-05-11
How is he not in the methadone + benzo phase yet? Fucking pussy.
1 satanssockpuppet 2018-05-11
"I'm sorry, I did bad, I am getting help, I am doing better now, this was a real wake-up call, I promise I'll be good this time". If Artie wasn't so fat lazy and stupid he could get himself on the methadone or whatever and make a killing on the "opioid crisis" circuit, doing talks and talk shows and etc.
1 bonniesretardsister 2018-05-11
I want to see Artie tell his 4 jokes on Wendy Williams.
1 SpitItoutSocrates 2018-05-11
I wanna see the junkie movie.
1 WiretapStudios 2018-05-11
There's a bindle on my nose!
1 MonsterSteve 2018-05-11
They probably throw the book at him this time especially if they drug test him and he fails.
1 Nezlo_Nuke_Em 2018-05-11
The way you phrased this post sounds like the ending to a Dragon Ball Z episode.
1 68rouge 2018-05-11
They already said he was im the hospital Thursday. Already setting up his get out of jail card. Every time he had to go court he does this
1 az116 2018-05-11
Yup. Same story.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/articles.nj.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2018/05/artie_lange_cancels_show_hospital_blood_sugar_sent.amp
The fact that he isn’t tweeting is strange though. Even I the hospital he’s usually making really shitty jokes on his Twitter.