You won't even be able to get that much back from the fence, either. So basically the real dollar value (if we're being generous) should be about half that.

Allegedly. The theft is still alleged.

Not alleged anymore.

lol where'd you get this?

Public record

Pennsylvania Unified Judicial System

Thanks.

Is it sad that I pretty much knew his docket number by heart?

Yes

But the good news is, he beat the DUI!

And his kid beat having to play "Gotcha nose" with that melted crayon.

If only. Prosecution withdrew the DUI 1st offense only to fuck him with a DUI 2nd or 3rd offense. Not that he cares about one of the misdemeanor add on charges. He was just convicted of murder after all.

Two out of three ain't bad.

They hit him with everything. The failure to stop at a red charge seems like overkill

That's how the white man operates.

They listed his race as black? SJW’s will bring this to light and force a retrial.

Cop nudges Qaden with the toe of his shoe.

"You alright?"

"nah"

pausing to look at his injured son on the roadway

OH LAWDY I'S IN POWERFUL TROUBLE! FEETS DON'T FAILS ME NOW!

Did he think he could just run away from this?

Clearly, you've never watched an episode of "COPS".

Motherfucker!

😢 i was 5 weeks preg ok

Life ends at intersection

Damn.

got a nigga

'sribs

hurtin' tah-DAY!

CRICKETS

ME: Vurry good! You get line of the day!

yikes

Yeah i know i have to pass the billboard that tells me that every day.

and for you it was all downhill from there

Leave u/Bams_seed alone: It's not her fault that she's a FUCKING GODDAMN WHOOORE!!

jkjk

I was the dad. It was for the best.

So what? The baby was already conceived. Nothing was stopping him from growing into a healthy and happy human being except your murderous intent and unwillingness to deal with the easily foreseeable consequences to your freely chosen actions. You godless whore.

I like to think it would have been a girl 😢 believe me i dont feel good about it

Well, it's a good thing everyone here knows about it then. This place is known for it's soft touch.

Yall have counseled me through domestic violence and psychosis i love you

Pfft. I opened up about a fatal accident, this sub counseled me that it was my fault.

Me getting beat up was totally my fault too dont worry

I haven't seen those posts but you do come across as "wordie".

 

How old would your innocent child be by now?

Let it go faggot.

Jeez it was just some good natured ribbin!

was it?

Because it totally was your fault.

fuck you

Username checks out.

well if you’re repentant it’s ok. you are absolved alwright

You like to think? Sounds to me as though you do feel good about it, you sadistic baby smiting heathen.

good

Life is hard and scary. God understands.

You did the right thing.

Nobody that posts here should ever procreate.

baby killing asshole

oh good lord

Do we really need another spawn from a schizophrenic single black mother?

she's black? In that case, congratulations on your abortion /u/Bams_seed

/r/opieandanthony is strictly pro-life

Imagine if we'd all been aborted! There'd be no one left in the world to shut down Anthony Cumia's twitter account.

You got OJ in ‘95. Let us have this one.

Is this the intersection you want to die on?

I stand with killakuhn

http://imgur.com/HmfhqsW

I stand with killakuhn

I knew I was right to worry for Bams_seedling. :(

I keep telling you guys that this bitch is nuts, but you are distracted by her pussy, tits and asshole.

Tits that atrocious aren't all that distracting.

Damn. I hope this nose craze doesn't catch on.

I hope it becomes a trendy Facebook profile pic banner

Welp, i know my next Halloween costume.

That's in bad taste even for us. lol.

Surprise suprise

Whoop Whoop!

Bail set at 5 million?

Alright fellow panera employees, buckle down!

Well, he was driving suspended.

The video associated with this article is very old. That bail was set when he was initially arrested, not after this trial.

Well, the charities I donate to monthly are going to take a hit, but anything for one of our own.

A Kuhnfortunate Mishap

Sorry, I already gave to Jim'sGoFundMe.

Clearly a set up by the Vizio Corporation.

it's a Quan-spiracy

...spiracy...spiracy...spiracy...

I'm just asking questions

Murder...?

Manslaughter makes more sense really.

Yeah, by definition, that seems to be manslaughter. Him fleeing the scene and not tending to his son is probably what caused the "murder" sentencing though, I would assume.

Isn't murder "premeditated" as in planning etc? Either way I don't think was high as fuck to even understand what has happened.

But murder/manslaughter doesn't make a difference, let's hope he finds a way to not have to live with this.

3rd degree

PA has a “felony murder” statute that folds into 2nd or 3rd degree murder if a death occurs during the commission of another serious crime.

but the thing I’m not sure about: was he attempting to flee with the soundbar in his car, or did he leave it at Walmart after being confronted by the security guard? If it’s the former, then yeah, him driving recklessly was part of him trying to get away the felony of stealing the soundbar. But if he abandoned his attempts to steal the soundbar...was he still in the process of committing a felony?

Good questions. It seems he left the soundbar behind, but perhaps that doesn’t negate the act itself? I’m not sure, I’ll have to look at the docket sheet again to see, and ask my Philly lawyer friend. Maybe it was one of the other charges?

It would be a crime if an actual cop caught him trying to steal the soundbar and he was running away from the cop. But if a Walmart security guard catches you, and relinquish control of the merchandise, I don’t think he has any authority to detain you.

That’s good to know. The security guards at my Walmart are all elderly, obese or retarded.

In most states store security can detain you if they are sure you shoplifted. Similar to citizens arrest https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopkeeper%27s_privilege

I know that in most places attempting to shoplift is a crime. It's described as "attempting to permanently deprive owner of property."

I'm no lawyer, but judging by the fact that he was charged with murder, I'm going to guess that yes he was still in the process of committing multiple felonies.

The felony could've also been related to the flight from the store; like he t-boned another car while on the run and then left the scene of a serious accident. That could be a couple felonies right there unrelated to the theft. And he acted recklessly by not buckling the kid in so that should meet all the elements of the offense for murder.

Maybe him testing positive for multiple drugs at the time he was arrested is what bumped it to murder?

It seems to me that what Pennsylvania calls "third degree murder" would be called manslaughter in most other common law systems. I think it's just semantics.

Isn't murder "premeditated" as in planning etc?

1st degree is premeditated. Typically the difference between murder and manslaughter is intent.

It's different because the victim was a child.

He didn't put him in a safety seat and had him in the front seat. He placed the child in danger. He's responsible for the child's safety.

Yeah the nigga's obviously a bit slow

As slow as his kid getting up from hot pavement.

Probably "felony murder" which for most states is along the lines of, "If during the commission of a crime a death occurs."

So you break into an old lady's house and she drops dead of a heart attack, murder.

‘Lil man slaughter.

Lil mans laughter

won't hear that no more

Hell yes.

3/4of a man.

Get it, they aren't people.

(Boooo)

more like 3/5s

https://youtu.be/W9mvTNh-plY

His nose should be blurred out. The more I see it, the less I get used to it.

It's so fucked up that if he hadn't killed his son, he'd have his own show on Compound Media.

It's already half blurred out.

He looks like Billy Crystal doing his Sammy Davis, Jr. impression.

looks up to the heavens

DIET CRACK THE DON

I still think the THC in his system is bullshit, and likely irrelevant to what he did. It stays in your system for weeks and doesn’t mean he was intoxicated at the time of the crime. That said, justice was served today.

Let's face it, there's only one thing in his system that contributed to the crime: negro blood.

DUDE WEED LMAO

Good point, I’m ashamed I wrote that. I could kid myself and say that I was joking, but it was a blatant DUDE WEED thing to interject on this occasion.

No, you’re right.

Just joshing you, doggie.

It was in his blood numbnuts

I’m an ass. I retract my previous comment.

Even if that was the case, "I was driving around high with my two year old child" isn't that great of a defense.

If he was blazed, he probably wouldn’t have panicked so hard about his attempted shoplifting, he probably got really paranoid and thought he was about to be followed/chased and floored it out of the parking lot. So maybe weed paranoia was actually the cause of this lol

IT WAS MURDER!

MOIDAH

THE LITTLE TYKE WAS SPLATTERED ON THE PAVEMENT, SAM

I don't believe you!

$228 cost him his son's life and pretty much the rest of his. If I was him I'd just hang myself.

Maybe he’ll turn gay and get into different prison adventures like Beecher in Oz.

Your optimism is sickening.

Guest starring Jim Norton as Timmy Kirk

If I was him I'd just hang myself.

Exactly. Why didn't he do this months ago? Just hit the reset button.

He was in prison probably under watch

Only whites and Asians commit suicide out of shame

Or weakness.

Downvotes are all by homos who sorry for themselves...aka sorry lonely pussies.

Nah I think because it was a total faggot comment that added nothing

That Mexican in Cleveland with the 3 girls chained up killed hisself.

That had nothing to do with shame.

Why don't you so it anyway.

He's enjoying life with his newly purchased Vizio sound system

If the state has a death penalty they should have a voluntary death penalty. This case is a certain shade of grey even though kuhn is obviously a scumbag

Hey man, lets leave the judgment on how people from diverse cultures behave at the door, ok buddy

Maybe the judge will be lenient during sentencing.

All jokes aside.. I already would have.

I can't imagine why anyone would steal anything not worth at least a year's salary or whatever money you'd easily make if you "did the time". It's beyond comprehension, even not counting the kid issue.

This man is innocent. Time to start a GoFundMe to get M. to take care of the appeal.

Lmao 228 dollars worth of merchandise. At least Vizio isnt getting anymore plugs so children everywhere can rest easy

I wonder if he ever stops and thinks to himself "that Vizio just wasn't worth it"

Probably all he’ll think about for decades

That, and "time to moisturize my Frankenstein nose"

The funniest part of all of this to me is that the soundbar never even left the store.

Kuhn done goofed up

I hope the arresting officer hit him with a nice one like "sounds like you're going to jail."

Sheriff John Bunnell - "In his pursuit of better sound quality all he was left with was A flat minor"

GOOD ASS RIFF ALERT

Take us to break, slobbo

Hold on, hold on. AsunaKirito4Ever from the reddits says... "In pursuit... of better... sound quality all he... uh... all he was left with was........ a flat mirror... err uh sorry minor" haha, AsunaKirito4Ever from reddit, thank you brother.

A flat minor is something Anthony also risks jail for.

"So you get frequent flier miles on that cannabis club card?"

that was a shocker for me.

I heard he is more upset with the shitty Bose systems in jail

Yeah that’s why he stole it

I mean this guy is a real jerk.

The jerk of all jerks.

Is he wearing a shirt with a drawing of his own face on it? Actual question, sorry guys

Okay boys. Now is the time to buy Vizio stock.

This ugly nigga needs to die.

Ol greasefire face.

At least the baby momma won't be a single mother now, I think she knew a long time ago he was a piece of shit.

To be fair she couldn’t have been too much of a prize pig herself, unless she had a fetish for Picasso-painting nosed mongrels.

She actually could be a prize pig, I think if you saw pictures of her you'd know better.

I'm sure the sub will still be here, destroying Opie and Anthony by the time he's a free man.

Pissing on Graves for sport, at that point.

Hopefully he'll be befriended by a magical negro cellmate who smuggles him in a burner smartphone that he'll use daily to check in here.

Some moron here would destroy the fun and rat him out though.

Dumb fuck missed his chance to plug Vos on television.

That's the real tragedy here.

So how many years are we looking at? 2 or 3?

Time served, nigga should be back here by Friday

Perhaps more than that, /u/Yaseetheo.

is he allowed a soundbar in prison? we should send him one

Inevitably a sound bar in prison would be used by a large African gentleman to sodomize a smaller inmate.

Weren't we promised a courtroom transcript?

Black parents. They almost always leave and when they stay, they murder ya for audio equipment.

Ain't that the troof.

Vizio hardly qualify as audio equipment

Bubba getting some Kuhn-Tang tonight boi .

Joe Cumia's only two accomplishments in life are bullying his brother into an allowance, and gloating over the death of a child.

Meanwhile the rest of this sub can only claim to have done the latter.

Hey, pal. We've bullied Ant. Our allowance is nothing but laughs!

Sentencing scheduled for June 15 at 9:30AM. Nigga going away for a long time.

i’LL gO ThErE aND prOviDe a LiVE tRanSCRiPt

Oh good thank you for doing that

Well? We're waiting

10 Years, 40 Years, 200 Years - how bout I’m doing none of them?

<3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lw1MrMHQ9o

that is so depressing, and I literally just watched someone commit suicide on stream 3 nights ago.

link?

it got taken down, i followed it from /adv/

That's a shame.

How did they do it? Was it a hanging?

he drank some shit, typed in the chat until he got drowsy, and than layed down in front of the camera until he stopped breathing

Sounds peaceful

I think it was, that's the general consensus among the viewers

https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1522161385675.png

yea

so is this the final verdict?

Did he get out of the failure to stop at red signal ticket? This mug's car insurance is going to go through the roof!

His insurance is going to go up at 15-18%.

His car insurance is going to go up 15-18%.

Blacks don't buy car insurance, silly

Grade A bullshit. He's innocent.

I'm thinking a 20-30 year sentence and he's out in about 15?

He's only 28?

He won't be when he gets out.

Nice mathematics, stupid.

I noticed that he was 27 when he was was apprehended That means he had to have his b'day party in the clink. That means instead of having cake and presents and maybe a clown; you get tied to your bunk bed and anally raped 28 times.

Jim Norton calls that Thursday.

I had the same thought, then I remembered he's black. He's already checked off a few boxes like having a kid and being imprisoned before he's 30, hopefully we can add dead before 50.

Damn. That half black blood is a bitch.

Mike Epps-looking nigga

https://mediaassets.theindychannel.com/photo/2015/02/12/mike_epps_1423800410257_13254109_ver1.0_640_480.jpg

https://cbsphilly.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/f2eebc4d74cc44f194ff0ccadee6fd74.jpg

No one going to mention the face on his shirt looks oddly like him?

pretty brutal story.

Won’t see him no mo

It's so weird laughing at a news report like this, and so then I laugh harder at the fact that I'm laughing.

Very late to this one, but I spent the whole afternoon giggling like an idiot to myself about it like I did Anthony retweeting that screencap of the African dancers funeral.

I legitimately laughed out loud at the "$228 worth of merchandise" part. What a panicky pete.

What a coon

Oh wow now that you mention it!

Dude’s nose looks like somebody used the Photoshop smudge tool on his pics

I gotta say, making fun of this horrific tragedy is way more fun than making fun of Ant or Tits.

It's nice how we've got our own thing for a change. Instead of just copying all of O and A's old jokes and references.

Wait is that KillaKuhn? When the hell did this happen? I just saw him the other day.

In prison?

Yes

Is "T-boned" an appropriate verb for CBS News?

T-Bone!

Is he going to get like a fucking year in prison? Damn that would suck

Let’s hope not, I bought tix for Rich Vos at the House of Comedy in Phoenix Arizona this Saturday.

You really going or just promoting the legend?

Promoting, but would like to go.

Well.....I might go....

I'm way out of the loop (and a fagget) who is this guy?

That's Christopher Kuhn

What's his relation to the show? one of opies paid comics, etc?

Read the huge post I just wrote a few minutes ago in this thread. Should be close to the newest.

No, this guy has given us a lot of laughs.

🎵🎵🎵ALL I DO IS WIIIIN WIIIN WIIIN NO MATTER WHAT 🎵🎵🎵

Nice shirt, Scarecrow nose.

this is over my head, who is he

Would you like the long hilarious overview of Christopher Kuhn?

fuck that guy, hope he rots

I don't want to be a downer and make this 'real', but this character is a bad egg and I will be downvoting all of his future posts.

I’d like to think I’ll be around this sub by 2075 when he is released, but hopefully we’ll both be dead by then and it won’t require much effort to ignore him.

Gotta love the VIZO plug.

What does this have to do with O&A? Who is this guy?

For those out of the loop:

Christopher Kuhn aka u/killakuhn is a former rapper and former member of the r/opieandanthony subreddit.

At one point he decided to stick a screwdriver to the neck of his fat white girlfriend who was carrying the precious Qadan in her arms.

and even acknowledged that crime on our beloved sub

Well, one day Christopher caught wind of Joseph Cumia and his terrible band 2U who are a cover band of the almost as terrible U2 playing at an establishment in his hometown.

u/killakuhn decided to notify the bar owner of accusations against Joe for a long list of things including

• Pedophilia
• Racism
• PEDOPHILIA
• Misogyny
• Homophobia
• Pedophilia
• Card Carrying violent white supremacist
• PEDOPHILIA

u/killakuhn gloats about going to the bar to get joe cancelled after previously asking for suggestions on what to do about them playing at the local bar

Joe's gig gets cancelled.

Joe brings the bar owner to court and somehow end up on The People's Court.

u/killakuhn creates a post soon after the episode appears on television and gives his analysis.

One day after getting his rocks off watching a girl with no asscrack orgasm he decides he needs a better audio experience and decides to go to Walmart and steal a $228 Vizio Soundbar rather than pay for it, even as sweet as a deal it was.

The rest is mentioned in the various articles

https://nypost.com/2017/10/05/walmart-robber-allegedly-left-son-to-die-after-getaway-crash/

https://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/New-Charges-for-Dad-Son-Killed-in-Crash-After-Tullytown-Theft-457499493.html

After the crash he took off on foot after stepping over his lifeless child.

He was arrested nearby in some bushes

while wearing a shirt with a face that has a fucked his nose which is similar to his

He was then humiliated by reporters and here...

It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users. I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click!

Here is link number 1 - Previous text "2U"

Here is link number 2 - Previous text "U2"

^{Please PM /u/eganwall with issues or feedback! | Delete}

At least I don't have to lie about being at a trial. Fag.

Jus tuggin ya peckah

The panic and worry I've felt over things way smaller. Like, being pulled over and having forgot my license at home or something stupid.

Getting caught in a lie, or just whatever.

I can only imagine the forehead sweat and panic that set in when his kid flew from the window and he was standing there dealing with all of that and the trouble he was in.

Hooooo boy. What a fucking fool.

Feel awful for his baby mama, too.

I hope another inmate beats the fuck out of him and the remaining half of his nose comes off like the Sphinx.

All jokes aside, doesn't murder seem a little harsh?

It's a speeding ticket, at best. The system keeps the black man down.

Lol ok I'm not saying he's an upstanding citizen but murder usually means a certain amount of malice or premeditation

I dunno. A Sonos maybe. Definitely not a Vizio.

KillaKuhn looks like Spawn when he takes his mask off

I don't get how that's murder. Oh well, we're that much closer to him being able to receive mail.

should be out in a month

How was he able to get a T-shirt with his face bedazzled

What happened to the sound system?

He’s gonna have a well funded commissary. J Cumia is donating tens of dollars.

Oxycontin and marijuana in his system... man people need to just stop taking drugs it exacerbates all the negatives in your life.

Damn, guilty on all 14 counts. From 3rd degree murder down to failure to use safety restraints for a child under 4.

Videos in this thread:

Watch Playlist &#9654;

I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.

Play All | Info | Get me on Chrome / Firefox

Yeah, by definition, that seems to be manslaughter. Him fleeing the scene and not tending to his son is probably what caused the "murder" sentencing though, I would assume.

‘Lil man slaughter.

I stand with killakuhn

http://imgur.com/HmfhqsW

Yall have counseled me through domestic violence and psychosis i love you

3/4of a man.

Get it, they aren't people.

(Boooo)

fuck you

Oh good thank you for doing that

Jim Norton calls that Thursday.

https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1522161385675.png

At least I don't have to lie about being at a trial. Fag.

Username checks out.