Fucking dammit you should have seen my eyes light up when I started reading.

It took until peckha number 2 before it started to sink in that I'd been bamboozled.

I am not a smart.

It's quite common for people to question themselves once they've moved onto the 2nd pecka.

Fuck, is he stupid for trying to sue his bosses while he's still under contract! This won't go anywhere! And it's pretty impossible that not being allowed to go on maternity leave is the reason he's got tits.

I've been hoodwinked!

Me, too. I have confusion.

I am not a smart.

Your mom says you are really handsome though. So, you got that goin' for ya.

Nanna says I look like Kirk Douglas.

http://m.imgur.com/Lu5i6HC

Hmm, Pecka? Must me some Latin legal mumbo jumbo.

I knew that there was no possible way someone that frequents this sub could be getting a law degree

I have law degree. I also have med school degree and 2 PhDs. I make 7 figures, have a 165 IQ, and a 12 inch donger. I have a gorgeous hot wife and 4 steady girlfriends who are even more gorgeous, and I frequent this sub.

Ha ha just kidding I work night shift at a Taco Bell drive-in 2 towns away and I've failed the GED test 3 times. I'm in my mid thirties, I weigh 3 bills, and live with my mom. I do frequent this sub tho.

That was funny and then devastating. What a roller coaster of a comment. It was significantly better than the life you live.

Ha yeah no shit I seriously think about killing myself all the time. I asked to borrow my mom's handgun and she said no because she knew i was going to blow my brains out and she didn't want to deal with the mess and loss in resale value if she decides to sell the house.

Didn't matter I'm too much of a pussy any way oh well at least have all you guys and our shared hatred of a radio show that doesn't exist anymore.

Cheer up man. The only thing standing between you and that 18 yr old fast food poon is some fat. Lose some weight and start banging that barely legal snatch like a respectable fellow. Christ someone get this guy's shoelaces he's on the edge

heh..

I think a lot of us are waiting for an all out race war to reveal our own true potential.

On a serious note, it's never too late to make a change. Join a gym, get back in school, and take back control of your situation. The hardest part is getting started.

At least you get free Taco Bell for lunch. What kind of allowance do they give you.

nah player it aint even like that. I only get 10% discount and not on the grilled stuft burritos which is the only thing we have worth a damn. Only thing i get away with is nabbing as many taco sauces packets as want so i got that going for me.

jesus

I fuckin love this guy

10% discount- Jesus. Don't kill yourself with a gun, strap a bomb and head to the HQ.

"stuft burritos"

That's how we spell it no joke. Ha ha kill me.

sTeft burritos

What's your favorite thing there?

When I read your first paragraph, I thought you were Rich Vos.

When I read your second paragraph, there was no doubt in my mind that you were Rich Vos.

Ha that would be fucking awesome he's married to a chick who isn't completely disgusting and has kids and some ability to pay for shit. Not so much for me.

I'm 30 and walk dogs for a living. But fuck that opie guy!

I really like Taco Bell. Thank you for your service.

Hanzi?

I weigh 3 bills

At O&A events, they would call you slim.

Panera has a legal department too you know.

VULGAR DISPLAY OF FLOUR

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But if they did, they'd certainly lack ethics and foolishly leak easily traceable confidential documents, so the concept still had a grain of truth to it...

We've had a few posters claim it.

I've got one man. I pranced in here all proud of myself about to blow the lid off this ruse by saying "THAT'S NOT WHAT FEDERAL DISTRICT COURT CAPTIONS LOOK LIKE THE DEFENDANT ISN'T PROPERLY IDENTIFIED AND YOU DON'T FILE A MOTION FOR CLASS CERT BEFORE FILING AN INDIVIDUAL COMPLAINT" and then I realized, to my dismay, that I'd been chipped.

I'm a med student and I'm as sad and autistic as the rest of you. Let's, not generalize gang!

Go look at Dominic Barbara and his infatuation with the Stern Show. I swear anyone can get a law degree.

I remember after the Hold your Wee for a Wii debacle someone called in and said how if the woman had gotten a saltwater IV she'd have been fine. Ant then questioned the young man's claims of being in med school, since the technical term should be a saline IV. The fledgling doctor fired backed "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot I'm talking to Professor Anthony. You really think the pests are going to know what the hell saline is?" Ant and Jim had a hearty laugh at that. Opie was confused and tried to make it about himself.

I'm an attorney. Missing the hot wife fast car and six figure salary though.

"pecka" Could you dumb it down for us that don't have advanced law degrees ?

All this legalese makes my head hurt.

Peckah.

Thanks for clearing that up.

It looks Greek to me

You motherfucker.

Impervious to ctrl+F audit for "pecka". You rascal.

My law firm Norton, Roberts, & Chipperson is not happy with this attempt to skirt an audit

Harrghis, Harrghis & Harrghis

You need a good defense team against all those FILTHY LIARS!

I need a lawyer, will you represent me?

Suuuuure

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He's a plaintiff. What's that a tiff with no flava. Tsssss

Fuckin' crushed'em.

Faaawk yea! Take us out lish_fips89!

I like that you went through the trouble of writing this shit, formatting it, and printing it out

Autism personified.

I'm going to call him a cuck as well just so I can close out the comment hat trick for this sub

A hat trick is three you nigger.

There it is.

Nice finish around the rim sir

That's what the opster calls a bounce pass. You set it up I spike it down.

its not autism retards its called putting in effort for a joke

No it's autism

This sub has turned chip rolling into an art

Tsss what are you a paralegal or sumthin? Move your legs you fawkin piece of garbage

Tss what's that like when you throw a legal out a plane or sumpthintssss

Peckah law in this country is not governed by reason.

Fuck you got me good, i was about to climax and now im left here blue balled

This is excellent.

Totally.

oh no i dont think thats a real petition

What makes you say that?

Lost me at class action. Should have made it a sole suit with opie against SXM. Damages include missing the Rich Vos show on Wednesday Nov, 23 at Paisano's restaurant in Rutherford, NJ.

That's today!

In the immortal words of Ronnie B. this sub is full of rubes.

Thank you for your service.

This is like giving a little child a cookie, but then it turns out the cookie isn't actually suing Sirius XM.

MY GOD, HOW DID A MERE CIVILIAN GET HIS HANDS ON MICROSOFT WORD TECHNOLOGY?!?!

Call him Tits and send him packin

I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion here, but if Opie was truly forced into afternoons due to the small size of his pecka, he is fully within his legal rights to sue SXM for workplace discrimination.

It's more about setting a precedent for future trials than a dissection of Opie's character.

I think even Opie will find this funny. Because he will see everyone else laughing. Or maybe he will still think the joke is on him

Haha well done

Between hundreds of thick tongued dabessos, there's always a golden pecka waiting for us.

/u/captainopie is a legend

Plaintiff more like plain sniff eh fellas?

Heh heh, vurry good

I love this and I love you.

Autist level 99

Gonna serve some subpenises or sumptin?

Bravo.

You just raised the bar. The pecka bar

10/10

Haha nice PAO PAO PAO!!

Holy shit, you made a prop? Well done, sir.

You fuckers are becoming advanced

Because he owns a printer?

Bravo sir

fuckin peckah thuckahhhhh...fawk yeh.

Assumed it was fake but love the effort and payoff. Well played.

I knew it was wrong right away because none of us work anywhere else than Panera.

got me good sock cucka

FUUUCK

These are getting elaborate. Well done sir.

I wanted to believe so badly. Even after the first two peckas I thought I should read further, just in case.

TED SHECKLER LAW EXPERT

Haha...awesome job buddy

Masterfully done

Not for much longer

You fuck hahaha

Take your upvote and LEAVE!!

Dammit. I went straight to the bottom line to make sure I wasn't chip rolled. Dammit!

This is chiprolling at a professional level.

Plaintsniff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txuWGoZF3ew

You son of a bitch. A+.

where the fuck is my gun

Classic Ant. He can never find that pesky gun!

This is good, but if I were your boss I'd have one question...

Which client did you bill this time to, so I can mark them as "sucker" in our time management software and pad all future bills? Good work.

Well Played!

Okay that's pretty fucking funny. You had me.

Got me you fucker

You motherfukka. I bet you got a little fawkkin pekah.

My tits got hard for a second you fucking cockteaser.
Tip of the cap, fag.

nicely played

This is why I love this sub.

well i actually feel better knowing that u aint a real lawyer

Brilliant!

I only got to "Class Action" before I (sadly) realized.

I knew something was fishy when I read that he was representing himself. Even Tits isn't dumb enough to think he could be his own lawyer.

I've been very impressed by the level of innovation on this sub recently. Keep it up, friends.

gottum

[deleted]

never gets old! hilarious

Sounds legit to me.

Your third post here, congrats

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At first I was like; "of course this faggot is filing a law suit. Cause it's not HIS fault that he got himself to this point in his career. It must be EVERYONE ELSE"....

I missed these but this one is crap. too much effort.

These are really getting better.

lol thanks for the coughing fit asshole

I love this fucking faggot subreddit sometimes.

I just googled what pecka means. I just googled the whole history of Opie and Anthony. Still don't get it.

Fuck you forgot to add where Rich Vos is appearing

LMAO

wait Wait WAIT! . . . I was all in! Fucking well done sir. Stitched me right up.

I was so goddamn excited when I saw this. I hope you have the worst fucking Thanksgiving you sockcucka

I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be posting private papers to Reddit.

Best fucking thing I've seen on this sub

Brilliant

So I've been out with these guys since ant got fired. Is Opie having a third kid?

I always fall for these. Goddammit!

motherfucker why the fuck do i never suspect it?! this was the best one yet.

God damn. You've won.

I was really hoping an O&A fan was really dumb enough to post secret and traceable court docs till I saw the first pecka....

[deleted]

It's still hilarious when you know it's coming.

Scallywag...

Chip rolling = Done.

No one will ever top this one. Ever. Just let it go.

[removed]

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More time in between these. Too soon since the last time and I expected it.

You motherfuckers' obsession borders on psychopathic.

You just forged a legal document, buddy. Maybe you will get a cell next to Anthony.

jesus

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I fuckin love this guy

"stuft burritos"

10% discount- Jesus. Don't kill yourself with a gun, strap a bomb and head to the HQ.

What's your favorite thing there?