Our new Queen...Monica "Momo" Keller

1  2019-09-09 by smashthafunk

66 comments

I spy a wedding ring........ wife material confirmed

Look at the size of that watch. Confirmed dyke

Watch your mouth, fuck face.

Language

We accept all sexualities here, buddy.

Just making sure we have all the facts

Understood. My apologies.

Did you ever think maybe shes just really punctual, unlike Joe. Bet her daughter has never been late to school once.

She probably has an entire orphanage of children, and she buys the best timepiece available to ensure she delivers them all to their educational institutions at, or before (her preference) the start of the school day.

They willingly help out at Bro Joes before school and have activities and functions after school because she encourages the children to be the best they can be. Theater, sports, clubs, the works. Shes a truely wonderful woman.

She's been called a modern day mary poppins

Zitty Poppins

I dunno know, just spitballin here

This is a woke sub

I'm so woke my turtle is a gender neutral Vegan.

Momo more like homo amirite

Have some fuckin respect willya?

We don't do that here, friend.

Hey Joe, now this chick knows how to make a girl squirt.

I think her business partner is called Ben... The plot thickens

Bennn....Dovid?

Oh look. Another thread about me.

Successor to The Throne Of Clifford

There's no fucking way she doesn't post here. Momo knows.

If she does, I can't fucking wait to read the rambling, poorly spelled "SUBPOENA!!!" email she's gonna get from the Bovine over this.

She's a real ass dude

"Brother Joe" lmao

its so great that urban dictionary bit ended up paying off this big. do you think she saw it on trending or some shit? why the fuck would she call it this

That was a slow burn. I thought it ran its course.

May saint Mel bless and protect her <3

In nomini patris et fili et spiritus sancti, Amen

Ite in pace, in nomine Melvinis

My money's on Welfare Joe buddying up with this broad and getting a gig playing there. He'd even do it for free.

Is there a 5 star days inn in the area?

If not, there must be a "Sheridan" somewhere.

What's the situation for red Gatorade in that neck of the woods?!?!

We drink ORANGE Gatorado up here.

She won’t give him his free turkey sandwich and he’ll be posting nudes of her by the end of the night.

I honestly keep refreshing here expecting a screenshot topic of some rambling, short-lived victory speech on facebook where he's initially euphoric about all this attention. It's guaranteed.

I'm thinking something along the lines of SUBPOENA!

I've reached out to some of my contacts involved in this sort of business and they've confirmed she's considered one of the titans of the Pacific Northwest coffee scene.

Certainly the best single-origin coffee this humble poster has ever experienced

I honestly can’t tell if this is true or sarcasm. The various iterations of this sub have truly crossed over into some weird astral plane where either one is perfectly logic. I mean stinks on the news for his Ex, people’s court, killa Kuhn, Braun being saint terry’s son, legitimately anything on this sub is possible these days.

weaponized autism

A "cup of Joe" is what Sal used to do in the shower.

Everything comped treehuggers.
"hand me that potato, it's my duty to defend"
fucking faggot ox

Momo Killer

She looks like she could wrestle a bear. Clearly someone who's​ done many a hard days work to get to where she is...

A friendly, beautiful, hardworking woman. Congrats on the thriving new business, Monica!

She is the first person in history to see good in "Brother Joe". Truly a saint. I wonder how he will attack her.

Momo vs. Moomoo

I don't think we should bother those nice people.

Let them be enjoyed but be unaware, like expressive black guy.

Id dont think anyone wants to fuck with them. Thats sacred ground now. The only contact should be to buy merch. I know there are few that would buy a coffee cup

Some people here say odd shit.

Or that black hooker

I hope his business does well

A fruity, airy blend of dark arabica beans and Mediterranean caramel.

That's some damn good coffee.

The cows are not what they seem.

This is just fantastic.

I sincerely have no clue who this is. It’s only been 16 hours since I last checked the sub.

Time moves at a different pace

Unless she trademarked Brother Joe and gets it taken away from Joe Cumia I don't get what's so fuckin great about this broad.

did u see the post where she references the urban dictionary post

Gonna need a rundown, bros

We have so many fucking hits from this community: How are there not more people singing our praises? We've permanently blemished Amy Schumer career, we've forced a middle aged nothing to go on national television and humiliate himself, we've gotten gofundme pages shut down...

This is a nice woman. Clearly somewhat of an SJW, a lesbian, and she lives out in Seattle.

She would not be into our shenanigans. She just wouldn't be.

So let's just let her embrace the term innocently enough, without finding out about us. The more she does this, the more Joe is inherently ridiculed either way.