A pleasant night's sleep was disturbed by a troublesome dream in which I was visited by police to let me know I had been summoned to court and would have to answer for my internet crimes.

Upon entering the courthouse I encountered a screaming Fatrick who insisted I was going to jail for harassment. I started being approached by people I haven't seen in real life for many years asking me what was going on and if I was ok.

Naturally I regaled them with the legend of Fat Pat. This enraged the chubby self publicist, and he started screaming that I was a lying child. He caused such a commotion that officers of the court and judges had to restrain him.

Of course everyone started laughing hysterically, and a judge told me he was sorry for wasting my time and this matter wouldn't be going to court. Patrick started screaming and fled the courthouse as everyone laughed.

I worry he's so obsessed with us he's begun dabbling in some kind of black magic.