His marathon cheating saga is probably my favorite story arc. The months of boasting, the humiliating discovery of his intentions and subsequent monitoring, the embarrassing finish time, the runners in our sub skewering him, the fantastic photos we found. It's all so good.
It’s actually been proven that he cheated? I was too distracted by all of those funny photoshops (I’m assuming) of him chasing children did to my undiagnosed autism.
Proven. Those two arrows on the map show the two spots in the race where Fatrick skipped out-and-back sections. He missed timing mats on those sections and is nowhere to be seen in the race photos. All of the hilarious, humiliating photos of him fatly “racing” are from other sections of the race - none from these two parts of the course.
It's pretty clear that it was his intention. He was boasting about his training and his reducing times while getting visibly fatter. The sub then pointed out that the half-marathon he was running in was being independently monitored by a third-party organisation that specializes in that sort of thing (apparently there are a lot of fatties that like to cheat in fun runs, who knew?). He then came on the sub and sperged out about it. He was incredibly defensive it it was obvious to all we had hit a sore point. A sub member had a direct contact who works for the monitoring organisation and we were clearly going to be able to monitor him closely (through legitimate means - times, photos, etc are posted publicly). This forced Patrick to actually run the whole race and in the end, he ran an incredibly embarrassing time. One of the sub member (I wish I could remember who) is a high-level runner and posted a break down of Patrick's time and running style with examples to compare to. It turns out Patrick's time is more one you would associate with an obese woman in her 40s than a man in his 30s. If you look in the photos of the race, the runners around him would support that assertion.
Wait, unless I'm wrong and it was never proven that he actually ran the entire race, only that he finished. Can someone who knows more correct me if I'm wrong? I want to make sure I have this very clear.
He really is the Francis Buxton of these subs. I can cheat in any race I want. Isn’t that right, OnA subs!
Seriously, props to the people putting in this kind of time. It’s little victories like this that will eventually lead to the worst serial anal rapist in history being put down.
u/runneroffortune79 could explain better than me, but he was basically bragging about cutting 30 minutes off of his marathon time. Somebody here consulted marathoninvestigation.com to determine how to spot marathon cheaters.
He essentially cut certain points to avoid timing mats and you are also unable to find him in many photos taken during the marathon other than near the finish line. His personality is also very similar to the types of people that typically cheat during marathons.
Also, if you so much as insinuate that he cheated he will reply to you with a fucking novel of horseshit about how he could have never cheated, it would basically be impossible, and how we're all lazy fat fucks who could never accomplish what he has in his life. In my mind, that pretty much proves what a worthless cheater he is.
Wasn't his time somewhere around the 10th percentile for his age range? I remember seeing some details about how abominable his time was for someone who claims to do so much running.
Also important to note that the spent the majority of the summer posting shirtless photos, displaying his large, milk-filled breasts, bragging about his running times and counting the weeks until his big race. All just to back out at the last minute when it was clear that people would be keeping him honest.
20 comments
1 ADatabaseOfPeople 2019-09-25
His marathon cheating saga is probably my favorite story arc. The months of boasting, the humiliating discovery of his intentions and subsequent monitoring, the embarrassing finish time, the runners in our sub skewering him, the fantastic photos we found. It's all so good.
1 TheFakeJirnNorton 2019-09-25
And all so he could get a lousy 2:15. What a bum
1 Still_Hilarious1 2019-09-25
It’s actually been proven that he cheated? I was too distracted by all of those funny photoshops (I’m assuming) of him chasing children did to my undiagnosed autism.
1 PatrickThetanson 2019-09-25
Proven. Those two arrows on the map show the two spots in the race where Fatrick skipped out-and-back sections. He missed timing mats on those sections and is nowhere to be seen in the race photos. All of the hilarious, humiliating photos of him fatly “racing” are from other sections of the race - none from these two parts of the course.
1 Still_Hilarious1 2019-09-25
Can we can we fuck him over with this?
1 ADatabaseOfPeople 2019-09-25
It's pretty clear that it was his intention. He was boasting about his training and his reducing times while getting visibly fatter. The sub then pointed out that the half-marathon he was running in was being independently monitored by a third-party organisation that specializes in that sort of thing (apparently there are a lot of fatties that like to cheat in fun runs, who knew?). He then came on the sub and sperged out about it. He was incredibly defensive it it was obvious to all we had hit a sore point. A sub member had a direct contact who works for the monitoring organisation and we were clearly going to be able to monitor him closely (through legitimate means - times, photos, etc are posted publicly). This forced Patrick to actually run the whole race and in the end, he ran an incredibly embarrassing time. One of the sub member (I wish I could remember who) is a high-level runner and posted a break down of Patrick's time and running style with examples to compare to. It turns out Patrick's time is more one you would associate with an obese woman in her 40s than a man in his 30s. If you look in the photos of the race, the runners around him would support that assertion.
1 ADatabaseOfPeople 2019-09-25
Wait, unless I'm wrong and it was never proven that he actually ran the entire race, only that he finished. Can someone who knows more correct me if I'm wrong? I want to make sure I have this very clear.
1 Still_Hilarious1 2019-09-25
He really is the Francis Buxton of these subs. I can cheat in any race I want. Isn’t that right, OnA subs!
Seriously, props to the people putting in this kind of time. It’s little victories like this that will eventually lead to the worst serial anal rapist in history being put down.
1 MonsterSteve 2019-09-25
This is amazing.
1 iPadsFromPizzaFace 2019-09-25
nothing photo shopped about those pics
1 Still_Hilarious1 2019-09-25
Milwaukee is basically a free range children zone at this point. Hold your babies tight, you big Midwestern mommas.
1 maybe_kiss_u 2019-09-25
ELI5 (I'm roleplaying as a child)
1 TheFakeJirnNorton 2019-09-25
u/runneroffortune79 could explain better than me, but he was basically bragging about cutting 30 minutes off of his marathon time. Somebody here consulted marathoninvestigation.com to determine how to spot marathon cheaters.
He essentially cut certain points to avoid timing mats and you are also unable to find him in many photos taken during the marathon other than near the finish line. His personality is also very similar to the types of people that typically cheat during marathons.
Also, if you so much as insinuate that he cheated he will reply to you with a fucking novel of horseshit about how he could have never cheated, it would basically be impossible, and how we're all lazy fat fucks who could never accomplish what he has in his life. In my mind, that pretty much proves what a worthless cheater he is.
1 maybe_kiss_u 2019-09-25
Poor sportsmanship. What a monster.
1 ADatabaseOfPeople 2019-09-25
My understanding was incorrect then. It looks like he cheated and STILL emmasuclated himself with the time he clocked in at
1 JaySchuler 2019-09-25
Wasn't his time somewhere around the 10th percentile for his age range? I remember seeing some details about how abominable his time was for someone who claims to do so much running.
1 Skip4play 2019-09-25
I think they compared it to Oprahs time that she did in her 40s.
1 IGotATreeOnMyHouse85 2019-09-25
This makes him upset more than anything else we say. Because it’s true, child.
1 GumAndPennies 2019-09-25
Also important to note that the spent the majority of the summer posting shirtless photos, displaying his large, milk-filled breasts, bragging about his running times and counting the weeks until his big race. All just to back out at the last minute when it was clear that people would be keeping him honest.
1 CaffreyCat8 2019-09-25
This is delicious.