r/ona therapy thread. Unload your troubles onto me, even if it's tough to swallow. I'm used to swallowing huge loads.

9  2019-05-20 by MrStealYourVape

31 comments

1  AntsCamera 2019-05-20

I know this dude, he is gay, makes awful posts on reddit. Worse than me, and that is saying a lot. I think he drinks too much, how do I convince him to facebook live his suicide?

1  MrStealYourVape 2019-05-20

To let the coroner become the corn-hole, send him pics of your penii. My inbox is always open.

1  darklydreamingdayln 2019-05-20

My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus. What about you, partner?

1  MrStealYourVape 2019-05-20

That can be fixed using a domino effect of loving Jesus, your feet being deodorized from the excess soap of the soul cleanser, which in turns removes your headache once you can breathe in cleaner gasses. As for me, I'll be wanderin' on.

1  fourStrokes1900 2019-05-20

Just solve it with a plastic bag and some duct tape, no need to disturb our Lord by praying, he's busy

1  literalotherkin 2019-05-20

I rely on handouts, neglect my kid, you can practically see my engorged liver poking through my abdomen and the only thing people will ever remember about my career in show business is the versions of more famous people's works for 80 a gig at dive bars for sods who wouldn't know Joshua Tree from Rattle And Hum.

I'm miserable and I need help.

1  fourStrokes1900 2019-05-20

You think thats bad, iv secretly been writing sci fi since my dad fucked my asshole when I was younger and now my wife took my kid.

1  iWhoreSchortSchorts 2019-05-20

I’m a struggling science fiction writer who pretends to make 6 figures but I really just sponge a living off my girlfriend who cheats on me but what can I do, stop writing and sell insurance?

1  Poo-U 2019-05-20

I have an irrational fear of escalators.

1  StentFeznor 2019-05-20

They prefer to be called african-americans.

1  MrStealYourVape 2019-05-20

You should deal with that before it escalates.

1  Poo-U 2019-05-20

I’m trying to but I have a terrible shrink; his office is the Cinnabon in the upstairs food court of my local ‘black mall’.

1  Shacomybrand 2019-05-20

I married a literal ape who openly flaunts her extramarital affairs both in my face and online for everyone to see. I feel so emasculated but I go along with it because 400 years ago her ancestors were lucky enough to get a free boatride to America rather than having to suffer living in Africa.

Everyday is a living hell of mockery from my fans who facetiously pretend everything is fine with me when all I want to do is blow a hole out the back of my skull.

1  Cptbaldopie 2019-05-20

I just blame Jews when I'm feeling down.

1  realestassdude 2019-05-20

The only good thing they have done for anyone.

1  late_50s_why 2019-05-20

You know the London bridge

1  NortheastPhilly 2019-05-20

Just wanna give a big F YOU to my boss for being an asshole

F YOUUUUU

1  ElFaporino 2019-05-20

my brother keeps annoying these faggots on reddit, so I keep getting dragged out of obscurity and involved in his disputes

1  bovinegrazr 2019-05-20

so what, youre stealing nortons after show giving advice???

okay toolbag nice skirt

1  ThatNiggaDre 2019-05-20

I've convinced young women I impregnated to not get abortions and then skipped town. Because I stand by my principals.

1  RahStarAryan 2019-05-20

It's not easy always being on the road , i respect your struggle .

1  AirBuddDwyer 2019-05-20

Nice principles, stupid

1  YangtzeRiverChina 2019-05-20

I wrote a book and people are giving it 1 star reviews. I've already coerced all my friends and family to give it 5 star reviews, but the 1 stars just keep pouring in. I'm at my wit's end, child, what should I do?

1  MrStealYourVape 2019-05-20

The only way to save your dignity and make yourself look like the bigger man is to reply to all the negative reviews calling them trolls and children.

1  YangtzeRiverChina 2019-05-20

Do I do that before or after my 3 Big Macs?

1  Frequent2001 2019-05-20

you don't know the troubles i have donnie, my ex wife lives in this building, i have cancer of the prick, i don't got two nickels to rub together

1  SirSodomy 2019-05-20

I wish I wasn’t a damaged person

1  throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-05-20

I've been having an aversion to other people lately. More than usual. I'm smoking weed in bed rn, send some thoughts and prayers.

1  MrStealYourVape 2019-05-20

Okay I sent them. Just remember that Im a good person, so other good ppl must exist around you too.

1  throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-05-20

Thanks buddy. I edited my post you got some advice for that too.

1  MrStealYourVape 2019-05-20

I hate women so probably not the best person to give advice on that. If I were you, I would literally reply with "no shit dummy". It might make her like you, but if not at least you can respect yourself for being truthful.