What's the over-under on whether Artie kills himself finally before or after his nose completely falls off like a ripe cherry off a tree?

Also I don't understand how sports betting works and therefore don't grasp what "over-under" means.

Every time I predict 3 or 4 fights correct in a row, I think I am the next Jimmy The Greek, and then as soon as I begin the sign up process to an online betting site, whoever I would potentially put all my chips on gets flash KO'ed, and I, a foppish dandy, am repulsed, and draw my arms inwardly, glad I didn't place a $400 bet on a loser, as I close my eyes and cringe.

I can't believe people still pump your gas in new jersey

Apparently it's the law in certain cities there. Weird.

It’s statewide. You cannot pump your own gas in NJ.

I’m sure there’s some mafia history to it, but officially the line is that it’s effectively a jobs program for teenagers, immigrants and rehabilitated criminals, and one of the first ‘anti-automation’ laws (which we may see more of in the coming century if we don’t want to totally take it in the ass from skynet or zuckerberg by 2029)

Until a new tax was added three years ago, NJ also had the cheapest gas in the northeast. Now it’s comparable to surrounding states, still cheaper than NY, plus you get to make small talk with some Jay Oakerson looking teenager or purple bearded Pashtun grandfather of 18.

the most important thing is what does Thomas Sowell think of it

and one of the first ‘anti-automation’ laws

Yeah... all those gas pumping robots in the other states.

It’s automation in that the customer does it himself. Like self service supermarket checkouts—automated. Or self service Automated Teller Machines (ATMs), where the customer interacts with the machine himself—automated.

I get what you are saying, I think it's the wrong word though. I don't really care that much, but enough that I looked it up. Per Wikipedia:

"Automation is the technology by which a process or procedure is performed with minimal human assistance."

This is a place of learning.

Indeed it is.

I think it is the right word though, not to split hairs. Human assistance refers to someone else, other than the customer, so an ATM or automated checkout would fit the bill of minimal human assistance. Ideally—I think the self checkout still seems to require more help than the traditional way at my retarded supermarket.

It's the law in the entire state. Saves you from smelling like Truck Stop Joe, and it's cheaper.

saves you from smelling like truck stop joe

nigga, you know the gas goes in the tank, right? The people in the other 49 states don’t walk around smelling like gas all the time.

state as a whole sells a lot of gas caps

Unless you wear gloves, it's impossible to not smell like gas afterwards. There's always a little bit on the cap or nozzle trigger and no matter how careful you are, it gets on you or sticks in your clothes. The guy at my marina says gasoline and bluefish are the two most cloying smells, and you need turpentine/gum spirits or lemon juice to get them out.

It's not impossible, it's not even something that's ever happened to me. I, and most people of slightly above retard intelligence, have been pumping our own gas our whole lives and it's never been a problem. Even if the overwhelming experience of the vast majority of the entire country isn't enough, I sincerely doubt New Jersey is the state that outsmarted us all.

He also accidentally pisses on his hands a little but thinks it’s normal.

Let's say you fill up twice a week, 100x/year for round numbers, 10 years driving that's 1,000 fill-ups. You've never smelled gas on your hands after filling up? Every nozzle, gas cap, and squeegee has been wiped clean? I haven't pissed on my hands but no matter how many times I shake or how long I dangle while shitting, I still get a few drops in my drawers.

I like the smell of gas but I don't rama rama.

Why would the handle of a nozzle, a gas cap, or a squeegee ever have gas on it? This is honestly astounding to me. I’ve always thought New Jersey was like a rough and tumble place but you make it sounds like without soppy cups you’d all drown.

If I fill up my own gas, I'm not in New Jersey, so you gotta ask the rest of the country why they're so incompetent. I get your incredulity, it makes no sense. It should go from source through hose via nozzle to destination, but not even greedy Big Apple Joe can avoid spillin' a drop.

I used to do it for my dad when I was 10 years old. It is definitely not impossible, providing you aren't a fucking retard.

Other retards don't know how to fill a gas tank properly though, so my fingers always smell like gasoline just from touching the handle even though it's easy to not spill a drop. It's much nicer to have someone else do it while you stay in your car for what averages out to about 1 cent more per gallon since the extra labor costs are largely negated by the fact that gas stations with "trained professionals" are much cheaper to insure. Obviously you don't need special training to realize you shouldn't put fire anywhere near a gas pump, but technically it's a loophole. Oregon doesn't allow self service either last I knew as well but I haven't exactly been there recently

excuse me for assuming, but what you hauling?

Semen

Gotta love those alcoholic sandwiches.

It’s so fucking annoying. They take forever and the always spill gas on ur car when they pull the nozzle out.

"I gotta let you go, Artie. You're huffing more than you pump!"

Artie was genuinely funny at time and now he's pumping gas as part of a rehab program in Jersey? Is this his full cycle?

More respectable than working at Compound Media.

I wonder if Howard will get artie to fill up his helicopter

one joke per tank for a tip....i mean youre already there. theyre already dropping 10, 20 on gas.

fuck feed nana, feed artie. pelt him with crumpled singles.

111 days my asshole, try more like 25 or 30.

So is he going to get plastic surgery to fix that nose?