"Mustangs". More than one.

Money is no obstacle for self published sci-fi authors making 6 figures, child.

He’s also a very successful comedian, only the big ones like him do frequent sets at open mic events, child.

He's a hired gun of comedy. He won't do it unless he's paid, and paid well

Hired gunt or sumphin

It's been noted before that he doesn't understand how to pluralize words. He's a professional writer, by the way.

He's a hobbyist writer. He lives in his section 8 housing from being an insurance salesman

I think he lives off his wife's money. I think she has her own business. Poor girl obviously has very low self asteem. I mean she's definitely no model or anything, but even she can do better than Pat. Hopefully she figures this out one day like his last wife did.

Pat only had one wife and she dumped him. Read up on the lore, noob.

That is WRONG loser. After the love of his life realized she could do better and dropped his ass for a better man, Pat quickly found some Wisconsin schlub with self esteem issues that he could hitch himself to. He has been married twice and the second marriage has not yet fallen apart. You honestly didn't know this? And you call yourself a stalker?

Not sure about what culture is like in America now, but who even says that other than fatsos who dont work out?

Almost every single lad I know around my age (early 20s) works out at a gym almost every single night. The UK Gym industry is in a boom. You cant find a street without a gym. I assumed it was the same everywhere, but apparently its not caught on.

shit if i worked out id wear one of those golds gym muscle shirts arnold used to wear, and many conversations would be steered towards how many things i lifted and how many times i did it

To be fair, a lot of gym bros wear the shirts and its insufferable. It's not that sort of culture or lifestyle, though. They're not treating it like a sport, its just like brushing your teeth every day. A young man should be healthy and in shape. Not a disgusting ass-smelling fatso, sticking to his leather bedroom chair.

interesting point, which reminds me, i benched 200lb yesterday like 10 times

I know this pre-diabetic slob who just started working out (by doctor's orders) and he posts stuff like "Man, I hate leg day."

Lmao slobs love their leg days. Fatsos usually have pretty decent leg muscles for obvious reasons. If he hates them, what chance does he have. Just give him a prescription of pizza and lets get on with the world.

prescription for pizza

your country really is like a dr Seuss book

And you guys are still pasty pussies.

I'm not pasty. The tanning industry is also huge here. Most people here have a tan in the winter, but thats pathetic. I dont mind being very white. Why would I?

Do you tan whilst giving the masseur a blowie, gov'na?

No, I'd end up with an untanned face. That would be stupid.

“horrible things on stage for money”?

Lie.

You don’t get paid doing open mic appearances.

He doesn’t say anything “horrible” either. His standup act is the most bland, toothless shit imaginable.

His joke about going to Dachau during the Roast of Milwaukee was pretty inventive stuff

he would be the type to say dachau instead of auchwitz to prioritize sounding smart over picking one more people have heard of

His act about being cucked by Adrienne at Kohl's was pretty edgy

Very true, his stand up is just whatever he heard on the daily show/Kimmle/Colbert and told with a total lack of comic talent. He ripped off a joke about Stephen Miller’s hairline trying to get away from him from either Kimmel or Colbert. I can’t remember who did it but fatty did not come up with it. Also, Pat has to tell his audience they should be “laughing more” and his material...

I believe he tells a joke about how he hides naked in ball pits and fondles unsuspecting children as they enter it. Credit where is due, that's a pretty ballsy thing to admit on stage.

to be fair, he did joke about exposing himself to children at a mcdonalds ball pit

I think he meant when he was onstage doing comedy, not his honorary appearance at the annual NAMBLA mixer.

If Pat “works out” so much it’s the first thing he lists about himself he’s clearly doing it wrong. Not a hint of muscle in his arms, his face is fat, and his chest is small while his belly is round.

“Not yet fortunate enough to share his views.”

That makes him the most insufferable cunt ever. His ego knows no bounds.

he mentions his vehicles and sports so fucking often its clear he wants to be known as some sort of rugged man's man who also quizzically tries to break down masculinity and worships women. this is such a classic bitchass nerd thing to do.

I’ve noticed that, he tries to portray himself as some “manly man” who loves sports, fast cars, working out, beer, and Star Wars! Woopsie Doodles, not Star Wars, um...um...bar fights! Yeah, I get in those! And bench press, I do that!

He mentions bar fights so often and then you look at him and realize how legitimately insane he must be for trying to pass it off

Fatrick S. Tomlinson is a failed author and alleged comedian about gay high who likes to talk about children, child. He lifts 250 pounds, gets drunk in the early afternoons while watching baseball, drives a 10-year-old mustang, rides the gayest scooter in town, builds sci-fi models, and calls everyone he disagrees with nazis. Oh, and he says redundant shit at the end that was already covered by "author and comedian," child.

Spot on. I'm going to steal this for my next photoshop.

Though I've never heard this fatrick character talk in real life, I read that in a faggot's voice in my mind.

I thought the same but his voice sounds nothing like you think it would. I was expecting a whiney high-pitched nasally tone but he sounds normal. He's still a faggot though.

That line about 'likes to talk about himself in the third person' would go over huge on regular reddit. That's the type of shit they consider peak wit

Working out, more like eating out

His unsatisfied first wife probably disagrees.

You’ve really made it when the first question in an interview is “Who are you?”

He's such a rugged man's man; yet he has to have noodle legged photographers and a military retard not brave enough to have an actual profile pic do all of his fighting for him. Seems legit.

I can't make it past the first sentence. How far up your own ass can you possibly be to unironically talk in the third person? I hope he gets a beerstein smashed over his stupid head

This cannot be real.

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