Oh child, of course I'm a war hero. Clearly you have no idea what the Reddit Wars were like. You've never hear of that? What? Oh no. I didn't actually fight anybody. I called them "sweetie" online. I'm a hero. This is what I did with my life.

20  2019-04-23 by MonsignorScurrility

6 comments

1  ThatsSoOverrated 2019-04-23

Of course, he's not speaking to his actual child, because they don't want him to, and he's not allowed to.

1  MonsignorScurrility 2019-04-23

I didn't want to clutter up the already long title explaining that he had cornered a child in a public bathroom

1  FlatlipsTLumpyson 2019-04-23

Court orders after you molest someone are a bitch

1  ThatsSoOverrated 2019-04-23

Just to be clear, you're not saying Pat Tomlinson is a pederast. But it is safe to assume that in the future he will be.

1  SamGPHX 2019-04-23

I’d suggest that’s Fatrick in his 50s.

However, a-fib isn’t going to let him see that day.

1  SomervilleDan 2019-04-23

Looks like someone's been hitting the IPAs too hard at Hooligan's.