Heh

I go to my job as vape store security at precisely 1pm. I stand near the door so as to catch a whiff of fresh air every so often throughout my work day. Sooner rather later the store becomes filled with the kinds of people that visit vape shops at 1pm on a tuesday.

An african american gentleman tries to loudly negotiate down the price of mint flavor vape oil. "Why do these coons always need menthol" is a rhetorical thought that i swiftly supress with my ponderings of the human condition. The man loses the negotiation and pays full price like so many people in his community do for our ancestors sins.

Whilst this is happening my mind is still scanning the store for illegitimate activity. I hear an audible groan and through the synapses in my years old brain a connection is made. I remember a nature documentary from my youth. The particular scene is one of a hippo giving birth.

This microseconds long transaction of a neurochemical signal is lost quickly as i notice it is large man reaching behind the counter to grab a vape pen. I use the word large as this discussion on a healthy lifestyle versus the all american body image is a bag of chips i will not open in this particular excerpt.

"Sir. You cannot take that"

The man tries to make a woddle for it. I chase him for about a minute until he falls on the floor.

Yet another trade of a synapsical electromagnetic signal is made. Another vision of a birthing hippo. A moan, a fart and a swift death.

What awaits him in death however? Seems like that is a casket i will not open. The clock strikes 8pm. My shift is over.

I'm lost again - why is Jamie Lee Curtis guarding a vape shop?