As "Resident Pedant," I know I'm longwinded. But I have been very careful with what I say in the subsequent paragraphs and recommend you carefully read, and even more carefully re-read them. I urge you to not TL;DR skim but to think about the ramifications of your actions and the potential impact they may have on your family, both nuclear and extended. I expect to check this post again around 7 PM EST and hope I don't see a comment from you, for your sake

---

Dear Joe /u/DOXXER100,

This is, in all seriousness, your final warning to stop or we, and absolutely I, will fight you in court. This should not be interpreted as a threat or a Cease and Desist. It is a good faith gesture to serve, in non-official channels, as a warning, as a "last chance to exit," that there will be legal consequences for all the illegal activities you have committed in the past several months. And to prepare yourself for a costly defense in case you need to liquidate some assets to fund it.

From one man to another, all I recommend is that you, free from emotional reasoning or seething anger you feel towards us every day, to think through everything logically, seriously consider what recourse you think you may have, and to consult with a legitimate lawyer. Pay an hourly retainer so you have privilege and can tell them everything so they can provide the best possible legal advice.

I recommend you tell your lawyer that this started because you insisted on making yourself a public figure within O&A, it persisted because of your insistence to be 'one of the guys' as well as the racist tweets that you absolutely made, continued because you kept lying about the tweets, your own hate speech had an adverse effect on your livelihood, you committed perjury on People's Court by lying about the tweets, and you kept insisting on kicking a hornet's nest despite many good faith suggestions you just leave us alone and we'll lose interest. Also consider the possibility that your finances may be made public and any potential improprieties of unreported income can open you to IRS audit (think of how much you've claimed to have earned from gigs and brother. I hope this has all been reported).

That will be $500 well spent because if you are completely honest with your lawyer, they will tell you this story much more clearly, cleanly, and believably how horrible an idea pursuing legal action is and how foolish you have been.

Each false DMCA claim is First Degree Perjury, a Class D Felony in New York State. Each false DMCA is punishable by up to 7 years in prison, 5 years probation, and a hefty fines plus lawyer fees.

You do not own any rights to any parody work made off pictures you owned. Otis Redding doesn't own your parody of "Gonna 'lectric Shock OJ" and I don't think the music video or Live From the Apollo cover art will go over well to a judge. Every hot dog or cow pic is parodic satire and commentary on a public figure. If we comment on and criticize your work, that is Fair use in every single situation. Why do you think I was so deliberate and specific when criticizing your Botched Oyster Cult solos? Because that is protected speech. Your employment as a "tribute artist" is less black-and-white as you are technically profiting off someone else's Intellectual Property while earnestly representing yourselves as them (rather than parodying them).

Cocktail napkin math: a decent lawyer charges $500 an hour. How many hours do you think they will spend drafting and filing motions, correspondence, prep, writing briefs, hearings, commuting to and from the court, petitioning the courts to issue subpoenas, correspondence to ensure compliance with subpoenas, the entirety of the discovery process for doc review, trial prep, etc.?

Let's low-ball it at 80 hours. That's $40,000. Do you have $40,000 to spend on a legal defense fund? Will a family member, maybe your brother, pay 2/3 your annual allowance to defend you in an unwinnable case? Especially when, if you lose, you will be on the hook for MY $40,000 (closer to $100,000) lawyer fees?

Suffice to say, my lawyer friends and their referrals to legit IP lawyers I've already spoken to, are very interested in pursuing this case. In their words, "not only is it a this case a (legal) slam dunk, (not only is) it... an optics slam dunk for a documented racist brother of a documented racist in these times," much like law enforcement, lawyers - and good lawyers and judges in particular - HATE when some a leech on society who contributes NOTHING abuses the legal system for their own ends and personal gain. It will be a moral victory for justice, and most judges, as impartial as they should be, tend to side against those who knowledgeably abuse the legal system for their benefit.

Let this comment itself serve as notice that the members of every iteration of /r/OpieandAnthony have told you that you are willfully committing felony perjury. That we have aggregated a credible defense against your claims. And if you insist on continuing and escalating this brinksmanship, that we will defend ourselves.

Every DMCA claim you file will be countered with real names, numbers, and addresses. You will be compelled, under penalty of contempt, to provide proof of your ownership of said copyright. And when you can't provide this proof and we can prove your actions were malicious, meritless, and false because reddit, Inc., Conde Nast, and Advance Publications will be forced to comply with a legitimate subpoena because a legitimate crime has been committed, you will have committed felony perjury for each case because you have knowingly claimed ownership over things you don't own.

Just think it through, my dude. Take a day off from spamming these claims that will land you in prison. Think logically, calmly, and holistically. If you keep going, we will be forced to pursue legal action. And you will lose: your case, your livelihood, potentially your real property, maybe even your personal property, and even your freedom.

I do not wish to break up the household you are bringing Layla and the other children up in. However, your dogged determination as a Free Speech advocate and Constitutional originalist to stifle free speech, the bedrock of American values, has left us no other choice.

You got away with breaking the law and committing innumerable felonies in the past. We have proof of all of these crimes and will soon have proof of every subsequent copyright crime you have committed. Every claim of 'starving artist being relentlessly harassed' will be countered with your appearances as a character and member of O&A on international radio (public figure), your booking ad claiming "millions of faces rocked" (public figure), and your own words bragging about how well-off you are and how many thousands of dollars you get paid per gig and how many dozens of gigs you have per month.

In parting, I remind you of our hero Gregg 'Opie' Hughes's final words from the New York Aquarium after he was unceremoniously fired: "keep your head on a swivel, lamb chops."