THIS IS MY RIFLE, THIS IS MY GUN!

OH HOW I WISH I COULD USE EITHER ONE!

I was an alcoholic and quit drinking as a teen. I've got years sober but all my other behavior like hooking up with tranny prostitutes is also equally stupid. I love Ozzy Osbourne, who am I ? I take prep so I can engage in risky sexual hijinks. Who am I ? I'm James Norton, do you have anything you wanna say tough guy?

sniff

Asshole even admitted he got drunk for attention. That fuckin worm doesn't know what real alcoholism is. I hope he gets AIDS

Sounds like civilian talk.

As much as Colin is a sacred cow here, he did start the whole civilian thing to my recollection. Not everyone is perfect I suppose.

The absolute worst for this though is East-Coast turned LA comic Lyin' Joey Diaz; he will drone on about it for hours at a time and talk about it as if it's the cutting edge of particle physics or something. Also something 'ordinary' people wouldn't get because it requires the dedication, self-disclipline and willpower of a Marine. In reality he's watching Bruce Lee movies while his eldest daughter ignores him and he's too stoned to form a coherent sentence 24/7.

Just because the scriptures got read by idiots doesn't mean the prophet was wrong.

Like most things his friends say, the civilian thing probably started with Colin. Also like most things Colin started, he used it originally, sparingly, and only when it was relevant and appropriate, while his friends repeatedly used it as a crutch.

Nice explanation, stupid.

Yeah we he also refers to getting ridiculously high as "training", so I'd take whatever he has to say about it with a grain of kratom.

Idk about that, Brandon Shawn is a beast of a comedian and he's only been doing it 4 years

That’s just how long it takes them to hitch themselves to someone talented

Even though Mohr is a fag now and has, quite neglectfully, allowed his wife to melt I can't hate him. His impression of Colin is better than Colin himself.

Jay Mohr is mentally ill, a closet fag, but he actually used to have talent. There was a time where he was really funny on stage and had some great appearances on O&A and other radio shows. Those days are long gone.

It's an "art" you need 0 lessons or formal training to do. You need a couple years experience to figure out how to work a stage but it's all about accidentally having natural wit.

Painters, sculptors, musicians, athletes, and such usually train for like 10 years before they can START doing anything remotely professional. A comic can kill on his first night.

Nick Mullen had the best summary when he said "it's stupid people saying retarded shit very confidently"

Ive spent DECADES honing my CRAFT

"Hey we've got Jimmy's old tape here from 20 years ago and we're gonna ring a bell every time we hear a joke he still does today."

I met Jay Mohr outside the Improv a while back (same time around this sub went down so I never posted this story) but he had not even done a set last night and while I was sm9king outside I said what's up to him and he was very friendly, even introduce me to his buddies. I told him I loved his Colin Quinn and Ricky Gervais impressions on ONA but I immediately remembered that the sub had been beefing with him (this was in early March when I was at the Improv and had not been on the sub in a minute) so I apologized for even bringing OnA up but he insisted it was not a big deal and said in regards to OnA "I love those guys". It was a pretty cool night, Derosa actually walked out with me (I was going to smoke again) after his set to shoot the shit, he was a good dude. Only thing that made me cringe was my girl insisted I chase down Erik Griffin (nice guy but I can't stand his face nor comedy or insight on any issue, <sry Erik>) but anyways he took a picture with my girl and was cool.

But yeah I always wanted to post they Jay Mohr thing on here but the sub had been moving around too much. But I always crack up because Jay was really stressing "hey I have no problem with those "guys" OnA are friends trust me bro".

I was watching the Schaub doc and there was a clip of Nick Swardson at the fucking comedy store doing a bit about how fajitas come out sizzling and that sounds cool.

I hate every comedian and want to kill them all.

It does seem like many comics hit their stride a few years in...and when you see their older stuff it's not nearly as good; Patrice and Louis CK would be 2 obvious examples