Cover band cocktail napkin math: should've stayed in construction

23  2019-08-08 by RamonFrunkis

TL;DR Even assuming all of his numbers are truthful, works full-time as a 'professional' entertainer (obvi doesn't), and only looking at straight-time (let alone OT/2x holiday pay), Joe makes considerably less now than he would have if he stayed in the construction industry. But as he openly bragged, Joe likes to take it easy so instead of working hard like a man to provide a better life for his family, he half-asses it and depends on welfare to provide a submediocre one instead so he can spend his days arguing with people who are the age his kid should be if he could've found anyone who loved him until he hit his late 40s. _______________________________________-- Average gallon of gas in Port Jefferson Station: $2.69

Average combined gas mileage of a 2019 Ford Transit is 26 mpg

55 MPH speed limit on the LIE

$100 in gas ÷ $2.69/gallon = 37.17 gallons

26 MPG x 37.17 gallons = 966.54 miles

966.54 miles / 65 MPH = 14.87 hours

Yes, speed limit is 55 on LIE but we know about Joe's predilection and family history of unsafe operation of a motor vehicle, using the emergency/"Joe" lane, etc. so I pumped it a bit. I'll pump the numbers even further and assume you can drive a consistent 80 MPH on the world famous Long Island Expressway Parking Lot as well as 80 MPH through NYC, the largest city in America.

966.54 / 80 MPH = 12.08 hours round trip

12.08 drive + 90 minute set = 13.58 hours total gig

Assuming the $60,000 allowance, plus a generous $40,000 of 'other' income, filing single [Joe's effective tax rate is 39%](https://smartasset.com/taxes/income-taxes#4YV61PUCUZ) This includes property tax as he as bragged he's 'close to owning' Anth co-signed condo. But let's keep pumping numbers further and go with 28.598% effective tax rate: $71,402 (net)/$100,

$1,500 'portion' * 71.402% take home = $1,071.03 Joe's net take home

$1,071.03 / 12.08 hours = $78.86/hour

Assuming everything you just said was true (it's not but I'll play along) and your coworkers are cool with you making 5x what they do (you don't and they're not), and a strip mall gig pays $3,000-$3,500 with agency fee (they don't, features at legit, smaller venues in NYC don't make that)... You're claiming you make $88.66/hour, which amount to an insane $184,413 annual salary **if** you worked a full 2080 hour work year for being a cover band artist. 

Of course, none of this is remotely possible because the barriers to entry are so incredibly low that EVERYONE would be doing this **when you can find work**. But since we know the underlying inputs are MUCH lower, let's do it again with 'realistic' numbers:

$100 in gas ÷ $2.69/gallon x 37.17 gallons / 65 MPH = 14.87 hours + 90 min gig + 30 min set up/break down = 16.87 hours total

$1,071.03 Joe's net take home (effective rate is same for $100,000 and $184,413) / 16.87 hours = $63.49

Congratulations! You drove spent 12 hours driving (or more like 14.87 hours) to make considerably less than a NYC District Council Journeyman Carpenter They also receive a pension, health benefits, other fringe and have the luxury of having new jobs negotiated on their behalf. I didn't even attempt to approximate how many hours spent begging agencies and bookers to overlook your public posts to give you a shot. Not just that, but there is ALWAYS work in the construction industry, they can reliably make more per week and year than playing to empty parking lots and sand dunes.

13 comments

Well at least he gets the creative expression from playing his own original music and the possibility of making it big

Oh no, perhaps it's a language barrier but "cover/tribute band" means he plays the popular songs of other, actually famous artists.


There's a comment somewhere where Joe says this is the "responsible" thing to do because you can get paid for it. Rather than irresponsibly chasing his "pipe dream" of playing original music with the shot to actually break out and make it big.

Overlooking that Joe can't copy a intermediate solo of recorded, popular song without screwing it up, let alone having the skills to write something better than parodies and the shoe-horned anthem "Oh, Darrah!"... the 'hardworking, responsible adult male' thing to do would be hold a steady career-track job and work on his music hobby in his spare time like every single 'weekend warrior' who wants to have his cake (a financially independent, secure family) and eat it too (works on his amateur hobbies).

"cover/tribute band" means he plays the popular songs of other, actually famous artists for fractions of a penny on the dollar.

Yeah, but how many of those guys get their meals comped and get to sit by the hotel pool? That's some luxurious shit not afforded to those who play original music.

It all depends what flavor of sports drink it's accompanied with, especially if the flavor is listed a color.

I have a fucking urinal in my bathroom, Joe. I can afford stupid shit like that.

I hope to one day live a life of luxury like that

Work hard, stay in school and mind your mom and pop.

Piss in the sink like an adult.

When I'm in the basement I piss in the sump pump sometimes.

It’s almost as if he’s completely full of shit and totally dependent on his brothers charity for survival

Joe’s gonna respond to this thread with ”AHAHAHA you losers wish you could live like me 😂😂😂😂 I make $40,000 per gig” or some retarded shit like that

If I had to drive 12 hours for ANY job, I'd rethink the gig and my career choices. Let alone a one-time one, let alone debasing myself at a mall in full costume for songs no one likes for a widely detested 'libtard' band...

god i love autistic posts like this

If basic arithmetic is autism, I don't want off the spectrum because linear algebra, calculus, and differential equations have been very lucrative.