Busy crying both tears of pain and joy all over some trannys dick

She did get married on a fucking Thursday and expected people to show up because they couldn't afford the venue's weekend rate

Still needs some honeymoon funds too, if any of you are feeling generous

https://registry.theknot.com/kane-holloway-kelsey-cook-july-2019-ca/19870093

Why doesn't she do that as a Indigogo, and throw in a video of the wedding consummation as a reward?

My cousin got married on a Tuesday, which was extremely convenient for me to travel to and take off from work for an event I didnt want to attend in the first place.

Depends how generous she's feeling

Cheap as fuck, but this will likely her first but not last marriage.

Not wife material.

She needs to aim higher next time

She’s cute enough to have a sugar daddy, too bad she doesn’t have a penis or look like a bird.

She is legit good looking. She needs to wise Up and dump that beta “comic” before he looks fade. She can still land some nerdy doctor or accountant and live in Scarsdale or Westport driving a luxury suv and be the milf of the block who’s a hoot at the school fund raiser. Actually listened to the show today for first time ever really. Happened to notice her name on the dial while switching around and figured I’d listen for Amin. The show is as brutal as people claim. Of course Jim couldn’t make the wedding and had to have some hot take on flying and his lack of pampering. Sam did his usual ape routine. Jim talked about making a doodie during a break. Kelsey’s voice was not at all what I expected

People do that? Jesus Chirst that's embarrassing for the man.

Weddings tend to wipe people out financially for a while.

Fuck that. If you can't afford it don't fucking get married. Begging for money to go on a vacation is gay.

Getting money on your wedding is something that happens across the entire planet and across cultures lol what the fuck are you even talking about?

In a card yes. $50 for 1/12 slots to send a comedienne and her faggot to Disney is gay. $600 dollars at Disney gets you 2 day passes, a hat with ears and a hotdog.

*a hat with ears and a joe cumia

fixed that for you buddy.

Yeah I agree I'm saying people seem to be fucking baffled that people receive money on their wedding and if you don't just take a $20k minimum bath you're some sort of weirdo.

I just think the begging for money on the internet thing is tacky as shit. Collect the cash and checks in your cards and spend it on whatever you want, and I agree with not giving someone a vegetable spiralizer or set of sheets bullshit as well.

Vegetables aint gonna spiral themselves.

Those things are what put Joe Cumia out of a job!

Those things are what put Joe Cumia out of a job!

Retards will just give you money. Let them.

what does $600 get me at the compound?

51% share of Compound Media and a blumpkin.

I'll just take the blumpkin, thanks.

u/TheLinzBella you're up

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Lol her only post....of course shes a fucking Pats fan.

Year subscription & a Dave Landau mug.

Most people here don’t get pussy let alone know what a wedding contains culturally

People give cash as wedding gifts. Whether you have a registry or not, you can assume you're getting some amount. To explicitly ask for it is just classless

Where there a lot of fat utility bill envelopes stuffed with 1$ smeared in cocoa butter and glitter at your wedding?

Not the money part, but I have an acquaintance that got convinced by his wife that having their wedding on a Friday evening at 7PM at a venue off the DC Beltway / GW Parkway was reasonable for a couple hundred people guest list because it's the only time her "dream venue" was open for the next six months.

Friday night DC traffic, most trains sold out, and immediately after work for most non-Joe Cumia people.

The open liquor bar was nice.

DROP SOME OF YOUR NEEDS!

Life is a zero sum game. Fuck, this whole segment is gold. Love ya, miss ya.

"Life is a zero sum game."

Love it. I say those words (either aloud or in my head) when people talk about the need for more border security. There is only so much prosperity that can go around before everyone who has been here for decades/centuries suffers. Hell, it's already happening, actually.

Sorry. I made it political.

Look we found a cuck

I love it when libtards use our terms against us. Am I libtard now too?

I’m not a liberal but I damn sure ain’t defending no fucking arbitrary borders

Neither am I. The post was misunderstood.

Zero sum game in this case means they're taking shit that Americans who have been here for a long time can't retrieve. Wealth and resources cannot be diffused. They're finite. And I'm damn sure not the caretaker for the second and third world. I think that you understand me now :)

Zero sum game in this case means they're taking shit that Americans who have been here for a long time can't retrieve

and that's not their fault you're too much of a pussy to take what you're owed.

probably the dumbest post that I've ever read on reddit, which is REALLY remarkable

I'm not broke, dumbass. As they get more and more entitlements from the government, and as the government needs to compensate the Americans who are affected by them, I don't have a choice in the matter. I can't ignore the IRS. Christ....

Bitch bitch bitch is all I just read

Guess it beats shasting people for 12 toaster ovens

Of course they are having a honeymoon at Disney. Why the fuck does everyone love Disney? There are countless landmarks, national parks, historic sites, etc in the US to visit (cheaper too) but this dump is popular.

Even as a kid I thought that fucking place ate a dick. A bunch of sweaty Mexicans running around in costumes and the rides are all shitty and dated. If you want to see a castle go to Europe and look at a real one retard.

So she can wear the bride mouse ears and as she walks around, people can say "ohh, they just got married"

Uch

It’s good to go when you’re a kid or have kids, maybe a few times. As a couple, maaaybe it’s okay if one of you never went as a kid, or perhaps to relive it once. But repeatedly as childless adults is not worth the hassle.

Going as a kid is overrated too. I went to Disney, ended up getting raped by Goofy. 2/10 experience.

Oi you was roiped!?

I plan on developing a comedy special titled "No Laughing Matter" going in graphic detail about my ordeal.

Do it using 3 mics

So brave.

Win ee wuz twelf

Are you sure it was Disney and not a Tijuana donkey show?

You must have went during the summer months. That was brother Joe in a stolen character suit.

Because it requires zero critical thinking from planning stage to completion

Same reason why people always flock to Times Square whenever they visit NY.

for the Hollywood initiation rituals (Baal worship, child sacrifice)

The bridge & tunnel crowd loves that shit

I'm sure Jim Norton sent a few hundreds in a envelope.. He's that kind of guy.

Hey this is unrelated but what do you think of this girl?

Pretty hot huh? That’s a lot of canvas for those beautiful tattoos.

Sad. It's one thing when fat people think they're as good as regular people, but when they have a pretty face they actually start to think they're superior. Just look at that confidence.

Il take me a puerca every now and then when im off the grey goose. But the 1 thing fucking hate is a fat bitch that thinks shes the shit because her friends are good looking.
Kinda like a guy who never worked in his life and is dumb as an ox but goes online and makes up stories and thinks hes smart always bums off his little brother.

God, I couldn't even imagine such a pathetic fag

I can understand people reaching put for medical bills and shit that they can't afford but assholes who use those funding sites for vacations and shit should just be instantly banned from them. But the sites collect a fee so of course that won't happen.

Unfortunately, their schedules clashed.

She's cute as a button.

He didn’t go to Schumer’s wedding either because she logically wouldn’t fuck him and cut his shitty acting out of her movie.

That makes me really happy

So she has some ethics after all.

No, Jim just wasn't smart enough to tie some truffles around his neck. She would have been all over him if he had.

Your comment made me realize I haven't had to hear anything about pig lady in a while. "Maybe she's finally become irrelevant," I thought... Well, one quick Google search brought up this article from TWO days ago. I must say she's impressive in her ability to provide so many reasons to hate her. https://people.com/parents/amy-schumer-loving-post-baby-body-bathing-suit-photo/

Hahaha I forgot her kids name is Gene Attel.

A pig and a retard had a baby and named it...genital

That might be the funniest joke she ever wrote

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She looks like a linebacker in the offseason.

We've got an ex-model here in Britain called Katie Price who, similarly, just will not fuck off.

Although, she does have a full on retard ape of a son who is actual bantz every now and then.

What the fuck did I just watch? I've never seen eyes do that before. I almost thought this video was a deep fake.

Yeah, he's a special guy!

Kane Holloway needs to step up his game, or this is going to be a quick marriage. Once this bitch finds a rich sucker, he’s done for.

We are never going to see her tits.

I don't understand my autistic fascination with girls that aren't "model hot" but are very "plain hot."

They seem more real, probably.

We are never going to see her tits.

I'll chip in twenty bucks, maybe if we come up with enough money she'll sell us nudes. If she's begging for money she's got to be broke.

I'm sure Sam pressed him on what exactly he was busy doing, as a nervous and back-pedalling Worm could be funny and entertaining radio....

Who the fuck downvoted that?

James, is that you?

If Kane Holloway is marrying Kelsey Cook, I have no idea how many brides and how many grooms are at the wedding.

Is there audio of the Worm discussing this? Would love to hear his defeated little voice.

How do you know this? It fascinates me people still listen

You cant find 8 hrs of content a week more compelling than Jim and Sam?

Which episode was this discussed & timestamp if possible.

I go into a office one day a week. Mostly fridays. I only have so many podcasts to fill my time. Cricket is back on tomorrow though so that kills 7 hours a day for 7 weeks

That's how I got (semi) wealthy. I had a job where I only had to work about eight hours a week. So I got another one and collected two full-time paychecks.

Right now I have five, but that's about two too many.

That's awesome! The only reason I work so much is because I want to buy enough properties to get to the point where I can basically work when I feel like it. Hopefully I'll have enough for another rental before the end of this year.

Congrats!

I try not to even think about that radio show, let alone listen to it. It’s enraging.

I'd say it's better than listening to nothing, but then I realized I'd prefer complete silence.

Enraging? Do you always mimic Jimmy's phrases or just today?

So so so so just because Jim uses a word it’s his word?

Even though you've been doing this bit for years, retards still fall for it

Did anyone photoshop that picture of Jimmy checking his phone into her wedding pictures?

Crying Jim would be more appropriate for that event.

“Um I think we should just be friends.”

Those words broke Jimmy. In that moment he realized that he’s a slimy, unloveable worm, and that he’ll never be happy. Kelsey was, in his mind, his last chance at normalcy and a happy life. Her rejection caused him to give up. He gave up being funny, he embraced his homosexuality full force, and started that insane 300-calorie-a-day crash diet that made him miserable, unhealthy, and never quite took away his fat beachball gut and B-cup tits.

You guys can hate on her all you want, but she accomplished what I could never hope to do: she caused The Worm to spiral into unending, bleak, hopeless despair. God bless her.

That made me happy

Kelsey is our girl.

I hope we get another live-stream of him crying.

Jimmy put a lot of hope into Kelsey Cook: It was his one ticket to a happy life, away from tranny's and whores and all the loneliness that it entails.

But he never had a chance. NEVER had a chance...for SO many reasons...

Married beefers.

what a great friend

That scuuumbag motherfucked him by serving alcohol at an OPEN BAR! The nerve of this bitch.

Good for her. Jim will die alone.

Jim was upset that every actual female views him as a gay friend, so he stayed home edging to tranny porn.