My guy I'm pretty open about having some very serious mental illnesses, being a terrible alcoholic, and being prone to ruthless violence.
It's really weird. People think of me as a big angry galoot, but I don't see myself that way. People are scared of me.i command respect. Peopel cross the street so they don't have to get too close to me.
Yet I had nothing and educated my damn self and I'm proud of that, and I imagine myself as a gentleman in a nice suit like Alex Trebek.
I'm smart and thoughtful. I like to think I'm reserved and gentle and friendly and fair.
But one little slip and I'm right back to being the world's stinkiest hunk of shit. I just revert to my previous state like a molded pile of Jello.
I'm really embarrassed but an embarrassing shithead is just who I am.
I hope I kill myself before any of you do. I wouldn't blame you, somebody should end me, but I don't want you sweet fellas to get in trouble just for taking out the trash.
You and Joe should duel in Weehawken like Hamilton and Burr. (You’re Burr—the sitting VP who legally shot and killed one of the great founding fathers on the murky banks of the Hudson, bless you).
It's no excuse but I drank myself to previously unknown levels yesterday and I said some things I'm not proud of.
I threatened gentle /u/packitchofsausitch about 74 times with physical violence and otherworldly horror movie type shit.
I apologized for that yesterday, but then it turned out I was still drunker than a fucking average Irishman and I immediately took back my apology and began threatening him again because I felt he was still a cunt.
To PackitchOfSositch: My bad, dude. I really am sorry for all that unpleasantness. Threatening to harm you physically is not only very uncool and unacceptable, but also probably illegal den a mug. And I thank you for not immediately snitching on me and getting me thrown in jail. You're a PFG kind of guy. I usually laugh at everything you post but for some reason it upset me last night. That reason was vodka. My sincerest apologies. I'm really really embarrassed. Plus if we met up to fight you'd probably smash my shit. I'm a fat older gentleman. And despite my many threats, I only rarely ever rip people's lips off with my teeth.
To Bam's Seed: I'm sorry I cried for 47 minutes that you are uninterested in being close friends with a very angry and possibly violent alcoholic man who lives a thousand miles away and obsesses over a radio show that got shut down 9 years ago. You're the sweetest plum, and I am sorry I called you mean names and also that I fling the word "nigger" around a lot. I hope you understand I would never say that to a black person. Not because I'm above it but just because that's how you get your ass whooped. I'm kidding. It just has a real sting to it and it makes me laugh to yell it at white people. You should try it. It's pretty rad. Anyway, in honor of my deep love for you, I will try to say it 91% less often.
To Everyone Else I EEEYUFYENDED: I'm a cunt and I'm sorry for mistreating you all. I'm just a mean cunt and there's no getting around that. I hate myself and all of you. But that's neither here nor there. What matters is that I fucked up and I acknowledge that. I'm sorry for being myself. I am a (please excuse my French) big fat jerk. I hope one day all of you and I can reconcile and kiss. Until then I think I will make myself pretty scarce.
Try not to get the sub sink to the bottom of the ocean while I'm gone.
I love you all so much. I will see you again soon. Goodbye forever but I'll probably just post on an alt like 3 hours from now.
9 comments
1 PhishInVa2 2019-07-18
I dont even know whats a bit and whats mental illness/alcohol with you but i like you JCFP. Dont brood over this and end up getting a toe trigger.
1 JoeCumiasFryingPan 2019-07-18
My guy I'm pretty open about having some very serious mental illnesses, being a terrible alcoholic, and being prone to ruthless violence.
It's really weird. People think of me as a big angry galoot, but I don't see myself that way. People are scared of me.i command respect. Peopel cross the street so they don't have to get too close to me.
Yet I had nothing and educated my damn self and I'm proud of that, and I imagine myself as a gentleman in a nice suit like Alex Trebek.
I'm smart and thoughtful. I like to think I'm reserved and gentle and friendly and fair.
But one little slip and I'm right back to being the world's stinkiest hunk of shit. I just revert to my previous state like a molded pile of Jello.
I'm really embarrassed but an embarrassing shithead is just who I am.
I hope I kill myself before any of you do. I wouldn't blame you, somebody should end me, but I don't want you sweet fellas to get in trouble just for taking out the trash.
Let me trash myself.
1 Poo-U 2019-07-18
You and Joe should duel in Weehawken like Hamilton and Burr. (You’re Burr—the sitting VP who legally shot and killed one of the great founding fathers on the murky banks of the Hudson, bless you).
1 JoeCumiasFryingPan 2019-07-18
It's no excuse but I drank myself to previously unknown levels yesterday and I said some things I'm not proud of.
I threatened gentle /u/packitchofsausitch about 74 times with physical violence and otherworldly horror movie type shit.
I apologized for that yesterday, but then it turned out I was still drunker than a fucking average Irishman and I immediately took back my apology and began threatening him again because I felt he was still a cunt.
To PackitchOfSositch: My bad, dude. I really am sorry for all that unpleasantness. Threatening to harm you physically is not only very uncool and unacceptable, but also probably illegal den a mug. And I thank you for not immediately snitching on me and getting me thrown in jail. You're a PFG kind of guy. I usually laugh at everything you post but for some reason it upset me last night. That reason was vodka. My sincerest apologies. I'm really really embarrassed. Plus if we met up to fight you'd probably smash my shit. I'm a fat older gentleman. And despite my many threats, I only rarely ever rip people's lips off with my teeth.
To Bam's Seed: I'm sorry I cried for 47 minutes that you are uninterested in being close friends with a very angry and possibly violent alcoholic man who lives a thousand miles away and obsesses over a radio show that got shut down 9 years ago. You're the sweetest plum, and I am sorry I called you mean names and also that I fling the word "nigger" around a lot. I hope you understand I would never say that to a black person. Not because I'm above it but just because that's how you get your ass whooped. I'm kidding. It just has a real sting to it and it makes me laugh to yell it at white people. You should try it. It's pretty rad. Anyway, in honor of my deep love for you, I will try to say it 91% less often.
To Everyone Else I EEEYUFYENDED: I'm a cunt and I'm sorry for mistreating you all. I'm just a mean cunt and there's no getting around that. I hate myself and all of you. But that's neither here nor there. What matters is that I fucked up and I acknowledge that. I'm sorry for being myself. I am a (please excuse my French) big fat jerk. I hope one day all of you and I can reconcile and kiss. Until then I think I will make myself pretty scarce.
Try not to get the sub sink to the bottom of the ocean while I'm gone.
I love you all so much. I will see you again soon. Goodbye forever but I'll probably just post on an alt like 3 hours from now.
1 ElFaporino 2019-07-18
Wait, we're apologizing for nigger now?
1 Populer_lar 2019-07-18
You post way too much. I rarely post here and your account is only 3 months old and yet I see you post everywhere. I'm guessing meth?
1 JudgeMarilynMillian 2019-07-18
we need to settle this in my courtroom
1 unknowkid96 2019-07-18
You really are retarded
1 2Shirts4life 2019-07-18
Dude, you're OK but 43,000 reddit karma in 4 months? That's like Ant level social media addiction.