You've just made a complete fool of yourself in a small claims court on national TV, and somehow win a insignificant sum amount of money while lying under oath

74  2019-07-13 by ILoveWhores69

What is your next move? Do you:

  1. Take your money and be humble, never speak of the incident again
  2. Thank the judge gracefully/privately, and never speak of the incident again
  3. Go on social media and post pictures of the Judge in a bikini calling her a whore and a libtard; even though she decided in your favor
14 comments

1  ILoveWhores69 2019-07-13

an* insignificant, stupid

1  aRTie02150 2019-07-13

He just made me more interested is Spanish GILF porn to be honest.

1  TurningFrogsGay 2019-07-13

Lots of absurd bolted on tits and "Ay papi" in a smoking-induced low voice. Smoking fucking hot.

1  aRTie02150 2019-07-13

Keep going. I'm throbbing here.

1  jokespot 2019-07-13

Subpoena

1  suirogerg 2019-07-13

You post about how YOU WIN and use an “😎” emoji to express your success and beautiful girlfriend.

1  BergStonewall 2019-07-13

Got her!

1  wbgreen 2019-07-13

A normal person who has to go on a court show would be embarrassed to have their conflict broadcast on TV, even if they win, and would hope the whole thing would be forgotten.

Not Slow Joe the Homo. Nope, he brags about it, never even realizing it cost him more gigs than us Redditards could.

1  Jungies 2019-07-13

Fuck, I love that court case. If you take away the emotions and motivations, then the facts of the matter are:

1) Joe was booked for a gig.

2) The venue cancelled the booking within the time frame allowed in the contract.

3) The venue cancelled via a phone call, rather than a letter as specified by the contract.

The absolute best case scenario for Joe suing under those circumstances is he looks like an asshole; that's what a win looks like. The venue did him a courtesy by phoning him and explaining their reasons for cancellation, which is both more personal and faster than informing by mail (giving him more time to re-schedule); and Joe responded to that courtesy by suing them. Then he upped the stakes by taking it to TV - which doesn't increase his chances of winning, or the payoff if he wins; it just broadcasts him suing like an asshole to a wider audience. Then, finally, he brings up the allegations of being a racist paedophile, gambles that the defendant won't be able to prove the racism - again, with no upside to that gamble, just stacking the chips if he loses - and finally doesn't deny the paedophilia accusations which he brought up.

The man is fucking amazing.

1  RamonFrunkis 2019-07-13

This is a beautiful summation of his blind, unending stupidity but I must disagree that the phone call gave him time to reschedule. We have dozens of canceled gigs from his racist social media with zeh-roh reschedules.

1  MarbleSpaceCat 2019-07-13

And also the fact they were cancelled for racist social media posts he did actually make. Just because we were fucking with him doesn't change that.

1  JimberleyTwotimes 2019-07-13

Nice try, but the correct answer is

  1. Attempt to forge an alliance with a failed scifi author and mega brain pedophilia supporter because people on reddit were mean to you both

    4a. And, as always, fail.

1  ScarletNumbered 2019-07-13

the Judge in a bikini

topless

1  mayomayomayomayomayo 2019-07-13

  1. Implicate yourself with pedophilia multiple times during the post-trial interview.