The fat, fat-ex-wived fucking douchebag thinks this is good entertainment. In his head, listeners are wistfully watching the Sun setting as Chris Pratt waxes poetic and pours his heart into all three answers, thinking to themselves "My, what an earnest man Chris Pratt is. I know him so well I'll call him 'Chrissy' if I ever meet him." What a fucking zero. Your wife who took a shit on your apartment floor leaves you and you're this broken down? You're doing a fucking earnest podcast? I'm supposed to give a fuck about the drummer from Imagine Dragons's life? Where he's going? I'll publicly beat anyone I catch listening to this
God he really never was meant to do anything other than stand off to the side on Conan. Didn’t he briefly have a sitcom too? Why does he think anyone has any interest in seeing him do other things?
What is your favorite word? Husband
What is your least favorite word? Divorce
What turns you on? Fat lesbians
What turns you off? Being thrown out of the house in front of my children
What sound or noise do you love? My wife, err ex wife crushing an entire extra large with the works
What sound or noise do you hate? My wife’s screams of pleasure as I’m packing up my stuff in the other room
What is your favorite curse word? Divorce
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Sitcom star again
What profession would you not like to do? Fat sidekick
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? “Actually, Andy, your seat is over here behind the desk.”
"These three simple questions, when answered honestly and thoughtfully, are enough to provide a pretty complete picture of who a person is."
I like how Andy puts responsibility on the guest answering the questions if his podcast doesn't go well. If it sucked the guest must not have been honest enough or wasn't putting any effort into being thoughtful.
13 comments
1 SchumersStolenJokes 2019-07-11
Where do you come from? A couch.
Where are you going? The couch.
What have you learned? Just sit on the couch and speak only when Conan lets me.
1 OpiesInstantReplay 2019-07-11
Who gives a shit? Who fucking cares? Who gives a fuck?
1 Ant_Sucks 2019-07-11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWa-PiyFQH0
1 SpaceEdgesDom 2019-07-11
I thought these would all be questions about toxic masculinity.
1 YangtzeRiverChina 2019-07-11
The fat, fat-ex-wived fucking douchebag thinks this is good entertainment. In his head, listeners are wistfully watching the Sun setting as Chris Pratt waxes poetic and pours his heart into all three answers, thinking to themselves "My, what an earnest man Chris Pratt is. I know him so well I'll call him 'Chrissy' if I ever meet him." What a fucking zero. Your wife who took a shit on your apartment floor leaves you and you're this broken down? You're doing a fucking earnest podcast? I'm supposed to give a fuck about the drummer from Imagine Dragons's life? Where he's going? I'll publicly beat anyone I catch listening to this
1 Cumias_folicles 2019-07-11
God he really never was meant to do anything other than stand off to the side on Conan. Didn’t he briefly have a sitcom too? Why does he think anyone has any interest in seeing him do other things?
1 ScarletNumbered 2019-07-11
LOL he had three
*Andy Richter Controls the Universe
*Quintuplets
*Andy Barker, P.I.
1 throwawayoanda2017 2019-07-11
Who gives a shit who gives a fuck
1 Terahite 2019-07-11
James Lipton already did the fat-guy-asking-pretentious-questions thing. Only he wasn’t disgustingly fat.
1 ScarletNumbered 2019-07-11
How dare you call James Lipton fat in the same sentence as Andy?
1 TheElDan 2019-07-11
What is your favorite word? Husband What is your least favorite word? Divorce What turns you on? Fat lesbians What turns you off? Being thrown out of the house in front of my children What sound or noise do you love? My wife, err ex wife crushing an entire extra large with the works What sound or noise do you hate? My wife’s screams of pleasure as I’m packing up my stuff in the other room What is your favorite curse word? Divorce What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Sitcom star again What profession would you not like to do? Fat sidekick If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? “Actually, Andy, your seat is over here behind the desk.”
1 bobbacklund 2019-07-11
Well minimum effort has seemed to work for him so far.
1 bovinebrain 2019-07-11
"These three simple questions, when answered honestly and thoughtfully, are enough to provide a pretty complete picture of who a person is."
I like how Andy puts responsibility on the guest answering the questions if his podcast doesn't go well. If it sucked the guest must not have been honest enough or wasn't putting any effort into being thoughtful.