+ Spent his pre-teen years crying all the time

+ His entire view of the black race is based on a classmate that stole money from him (because of the above info)

+ Injured himself trying to punch Boomer Esiason

+ High school dropout (no GED either)

+ Was so unattractive that he spent his post-high school years trying to bang high school girls (illegal in most cases)

+ Had no ambition—worked years as a laborer and was fine with shitting in buckets in his work van

+ Thought he and his idiot. equally talentless brother would be the next Van Halen

+ Married the first girl he could find—his brother's sloppy seconds—in order to hide his bisexuality

+ Spent close to a decade with a woman he didn't love simply so he could appear more masculine

+ Penned the worst parody song in music history

+ Partnered with an up-and-coming Long Island radio host, Gregg "Opie" Hughes—and would spend the next 20 years taking advantage of and gaslighting him

+ Was so cowardly he bought his wife a high-priced lawyer during their divorce

+ Settled his divorce case after his wife threatened to talk about their sex life (which most likely included men)

+ Put his family on a never-ending payroll—including his older brother, Joe

+ Hooked up with a 20-something who blew an intern on his radio show; let her move into his home

+ He and Jim Norton would spend off-hours talking behind Opie's back, despite Opie practically gifting them multi-million dollar, multi-year gigs

+ Took a teenager to his high school reunion; was surprised none of his old classmates were impressed

+ Would regularly drink and drive; bragged about it on his radio show

+ Would have relationships with 17-year-olds; bragged about it on his radio show as well

+ Would spend the next few years ranting against the black community in the United States, despite the fact that he was no model citizen either (the Cumias love projecting)

+ Was catfished by a middle-aged man; thought he was speaking to a pre-teen and planned on grooming her

+ Has regularly been caught liking pictures of underage girls on various social media platforms

+ Fired from his own radio show for racist tweets

+ Assaulted his 20-something girlfriend and would brag about it

+ Had all his guns taken away

+ Refused to see his dying mother in the last years of her life; doesn't think that was a problem

+ Is in denial that he's running his business into the ground

+ Continues to be a racist, alcoholic pedophile