Joe Cumia Philosophy 101: Fail at something, then make it sound like the failure is even better

57  2019-06-29 by SHITLORD_CUNTDICK

Fail at becoming a musician: play other people's songs and make it sound like bands that play original music are all losers who make no money.

Fail at being a man: have low testosterone. Cut a video making it look like cool people need to inject testosterone just to be a man.

Fail at being an entertainer: latch onto your brother and wildly peacock with your $60k/year allowance.

Fail as a dad: invent other kids and pretend that you're their father as well (a father of four?) and that you're doling out life lessons about patriotism and respect.

These are just a couple of examples.

13 comments

1  lolercakesmcgee 2019-06-29

Vurrry good

1  Superbad415 2019-06-29

You know he thinks he “raised” his 2 sisters.

1  GinFoss 2019-06-29

I though the only had one si-- ohhhh

haha, nice

1  OlGravylegz 2019-06-29

Its the hot new bit in town: tell a friend

1  AllThePeople17 2019-06-29

I’d say he did raise them by definition. However, he couldn’t have failed more than he did. A whore and a fag are the fruits of his labour. Nice going the only guitarist more simple than the Edge!

1  tjdon 2019-06-29

Dawn is a lovely woman. With the obstacles she overcame her sanity is a miracle

1  ElFaporino 2019-06-29

he means 'braised'

​

or spit roasted

1  bruisedreed84 2019-06-29

Fail as a son: pretend your mother doesn’t exist and then justify yourself by claiming that she wouldn’t recognize you anyway! It was the right thing to do.

1  bruisedreed84 2019-06-29

Fail to defend reputation on People’s Court: Claim judge is a former libtarded Hollywood actress and post a pic of her floppy tits on the beach. JUSTICE RESTORED!

1  DynamiteThunder6 2019-06-29

Between that and the dentist, “Look at me” shit, he really doesn’t know how to just be a normal guy. He’s got the mind of a 6th grader who wants to show off, but he has nothing to show off

1  Skip4play 2019-06-29

He likes taking pics in front of other peoples belongings because he thinks it makes him cooler.

1  JoeCumiaDotCom 2019-06-29

Drive a faggoty little girls car: Say it gets great highway miles.

1  MarbleSpaceCat 2019-06-29

Can't grow hair. Lies about intentionally being bald.