r/opie_anthony: Joe Cumia is confirmed stolen valor, please refrain from potato peeling jokes as he never even peeled spuds for America.

Joe Cumia is confirmed stolen valor, please refrain from potato peeling jokes as he never even peeled spuds for America.

75 2019-08-29 by ILoveWhores69

Joe was caught in a lie about airborne training; he has never even jumped out of a plane. Confirmed. He cannot provide evidence of military service. He also goes around telling as many people as possible that he is a veteran. Stolen valor 101.

"So so so just because I can't provide any evidence at all that I am a veteran that makes me a total fraud!?" Yes Joe, yes it does.

He does have the thousand yard stare, but it is caused by a total lack of brain activity, not trauma.

29 comments

2 NortheastPhilly 2019-08-29

In all seriousness, its likely that Joe got kicked out of the Army. He’s never shown his DD214, which is very out of character for him. I mean this is a guy that brags to online strangers that he makes his wife squirt, he would definitely have been glad to show us the documentation. And it explains his lifelong unemployment. Why didnt Joe work with Ant doing HVAC all those years? Because I bet he had a dishonorable and nobody would hire him, explaining his need to play music as his only source of income.

1 ILoveWhores69 2019-08-29

I think him being kicked out early for some infraction or because he just couldn't cut it is more than likely; given that the picture of him in uniform looks real. Plus it's kind of weird to be that obsessed/willing to defend this particular thing so much. There must be like an ounce of truth to it and he's turned it into an ocean. He almost certainly spent a few days, weeks maybe there, and then either fucked up big time or just went awol and got DD'd. And in all honesty I wouldn't even hate on Joe if that were the case, some people just ain't cut out, I have a few very mentally strong friends who couldn't handle the army either. But they didn't pretend to be veterans after failing, that would be extremely pathetic and Joe needs to stop. Joe's biggest problem in addition to his low IQ is that he is arrogant, pompous and insecure. He wouldn't do a menial Job like AntH during the boomer golden years because he felt it was 'beneath him' most likely, and so never got his foot in the door anywhere. Even people who have DD's can find work can't they? Like unless it's for heavy drug use, I know a lot of Nam vets stuck on H had an impossible time getting work and employers could access their records and find out why they had been discharged. It could have been drug related discharge. You never know with Ol' Freebase Joe

1 NortheastPhilly 2019-08-29

Im enlisted in the Navy right now and Im honestly not even proud to be a part of these fucking people. Everyone in the military knows how much of a joke it is, at least in peacetime. My dad was in and he never talked about it, and now I know why. Not because he “saw some shit” but because its stupid and filled with really shitty people

1 WaterFromTheWell 2019-08-29

What's your rate?

1 NortheastPhilly 2019-08-29

1 scott__the__dick 2019-08-29

But they didn't pretend to be veterans after failing,

Most people don't walk around calling themselves veterans unless directly prompted either. Which is why they hate seeing people walk around in their uniforms unnecessarily for attention.

Joe could 100% have been in the military and still be a "boot".

1 Psych555 2019-08-29

Also, he's stupid and lazy.

1 suirogerg 2019-08-29

Where was this confirmed? Very good detective work.

1 ILoveWhores69 2019-08-29

He talked about doing his parachute training on facebook and someone with actual airborne experience pointed out the numerous lies he told about "the jump". I'm pretty sure Joe described wearing what is basically ceremonial gear of some sort while parachuting; I can't remember the exact details but it was extremely obvious he had never done it as he got the most basic details wrong. He's too much of a pussy to jump out of a plane. I don't like it when people make spud jokes any more as that gives Joe the benefit of the doubt - he's lying about it all. He also uploaded his driver's license to the old sub as "evidence" (more stolen valor 101) without disclosing any real evidence like discharge papers. At most this retard made it a few weeks before he was unceremoniously discharged for being a disgrace and a bum. Lying about basic training and not being able to produce evidence of service are 2 very big red flags if you ask me.

1 UnwarrantedArrogance 2019-08-29

The only pic of him is that one that they take in basic training.

1 fawwkyeah 2019-08-29

You just know that if he had actual discharge papers he’d be spamming that ain’t everywhere to prove that he’s a “real veteran”, this is just more LARPING from Ol’ SAMCROBROJOE

1 scott__the__dick 2019-08-29

Fake ids are way easier to fake for a Boomer.

1 of_lower_stock 2019-08-29

I'm sorry but if he convinced the DMV then that's good enough for me. We all know full well how thorough they are.

1 paneracist 2019-08-29

Yeah I had to have my license reissued but I had moved addresses. She said I had to apply for change of address stickers or my license was invalid, but I totally did not do that and she gave me dupe anyway. I could also list myself as the gargantuan 6'1", 165 lbs without any proof. But Veteran status I'm sure is completely different.

He also replied within two minutes showing me his Soundcloud page when I said, "I don't think I ever heard his original songs, does he even write any?" So I'm sure his DD214 is forthcoming once he finds it.

1 Killgore 2019-08-29

Man that is fucking hilarious. Making posts on Facebook detailing your military training is lame as fuck when it's true. Making up fake military training fan fiction and trying to pass it off as real for the sake of receiving stock praise by idiot rubes on Facebook, has got to be the most pathetic and gay thing a person can do.

Idiot Joe doing this but just moronicly making shit up on the spot allowing himself to be promptly called out because he was too stupid to check if his fantasies lined up with reality, is just kind of delightful.

1 cthulhu_110 2019-08-29

Let's not forget he's also been stealing the moisture out of our children's mouths.

1 WheelchairFred 2019-08-29

Stolen vapor

1 xterraroc 2019-08-29

In the one and only picture of him in uniform he has cross rifles pin on his collar which would make him infantry but then he says he was in “radio”. He knows almost zero military lingo, he says his MOS all fucked up 31v... then some other stupid shit I’ve never heard, most people say 11B that’s it.

1 cro-magnon_sam 2019-08-29

Hes also a serial child dehydrator.

1 opestersmammarydrip 2019-08-29

The only peeling Ol’ Joey Joe Joe’s known for is peeling back foreskins before licking off the stale smegma from multiple strangers down at the Big Apple Ranch.

1 lllfrlll 2019-08-29

You know that hat he pointed to when he was a huge badass for sitting through turbulence? You can buy that hat online

1 ILoveWhores69 2019-08-29

Good find

1 ILoveWhores69 2019-08-29

I want this hat so I can LARP as Samcro for a day, just wifebeater and bud lights with junk food all day, fill my brain with hops

1 Phkna1 2019-08-29

You'll have to suck a lot of dicks

1 MonsteRain 2019-08-29

that's why he wants to do it

1 ILoveWhores69 2019-08-29

THATS THE BIT FUCKER