He probably watched the Geek Squad tech type it while squinting through his nana glasses, cracked a smile through one side of his mouth, gave a little sneering laugh, and scribbled ctrl (kuhtarl) + alt + del on the back of a McD receipt ( gotta fill out those surveys for BOGO egg McMuffins )
He also boasted about how easy a keto diet is to follow and how he could do it. He ate one meal of ham cubes and continued on living as a fat Long Island oaf
It was a fake virus pop-up. But knowing Joe he'd probably borrow Anth's old air conditioning repair equipment to open his desktop and find the "computer bug" that's been chewing up his cables.
I have a hunch - based on my years of IT experience working a cash register here at Panera bread - that Joe thought he'd save a few bucks by not buying an antivirus for his computer.
Instead, he spent hundreds of dollars taking the fucking thing in to Geek Squad to get it cleansed of whatever filth he infected it with, presumably after it had made off with his credit card details etc.
Fuck me; upon a little reflection (like so much of Joe's life) it's even worse than it looks on the surface.
The original tweet was him complaining that he kept getting pop-ups on his machine, that he'd taken it to Geek Squad multiple times to have it fixed at great expense, and now he'd found out he could just close the pop-ups via Task Manager.
So what kind of pop-ups is he seeing? They can't be web browser ones - even IE blocks those these days; and they'd have a standard Windows "Close" widget attached so he could just click on that to close it.
So it's got to be something internally generated, which suggests malware. Except what kind of shit-tier malware lets you close it via Task Manager?
The answer, I think, is that he's got some malware running on his machine that occasionally pops up a reminder that it's there. He kills those, but the actual software's still running in the background; stealing credit card numbers and passwords, maybe recording Joe vigorously "exercising" in front of the webcam.
I wonder how long until it takes over his twitter, email and Facebook accounts and starts sending videos of him jacking it to all and sundry? Do you have your daughter's email in there, Joe? "Oh, look - Daddy's pulling faces like Hendrix on the high notes eeeewwwww!"
Spending $1500 Geek Squad dollars on a $250 Lenovo laptop may not seen wise, but learning about the ctrl alt delete thing is invaluable in his bovine brain.
24 comments
1 OminousDestruction 2019-08-19
He also thought ctrl+alt+del to open the task manager was some secret hacker trick and bragged about it on facebook
1 bigbird911 2019-08-19
He probably watched the Geek Squad tech type it while squinting through his nana glasses, cracked a smile through one side of his mouth, gave a little sneering laugh, and scribbled ctrl (kuhtarl) + alt + del on the back of a McD receipt ( gotta fill out those surveys for BOGO egg McMuffins )
1 ScarletNumeroo 2019-08-19
I like the sausage ones myself
1 Jungies 2019-08-19
Joe loves sausages, too.
1 CumpoundMedia 2019-08-19
If a hotdog eats a sausage is that cannibalism?
1 lolercakesmcgee 2019-08-19
Incest
1 BlackManMoan 2019-08-19
Joe literally admitted that he's a complete idiot by saying he went to Geek Squad.
1 hormoneAbusingFreak 2019-08-19
He also boasted about how easy a keto diet is to follow and how he could do it. He ate one meal of ham cubes and continued on living as a fat Long Island oaf
1 Patrickisapedo 2019-08-19
ANYONE CAN DO IT
1 chex_and_texlemeneux 2019-08-19
If he wasn't such a lazy cocksucker, he would know how to fix that shit himself and get the right equipment to open up his computer.
What amazing use of Tranthony's money.
1 SpiralStatic90 2019-08-19
It was a fake virus pop-up. But knowing Joe he'd probably borrow Anth's old air conditioning repair equipment to open his desktop and find the "computer bug" that's been chewing up his cables.
1 Jungies 2019-08-19
He kept getting viruses, you see.
I have a hunch - based on my years of IT experience working a cash register here at Panera bread - that Joe thought he'd save a few bucks by not buying an antivirus for his computer.
Instead, he spent hundreds of dollars taking the fucking thing in to Geek Squad to get it cleansed of whatever filth he infected it with, presumably after it had made off with his credit card details etc.
1 Jungies 2019-08-19
Fuck me; upon a little reflection (like so much of Joe's life) it's even worse than it looks on the surface.
The original tweet was him complaining that he kept getting pop-ups on his machine, that he'd taken it to Geek Squad multiple times to have it fixed at great expense, and now he'd found out he could just close the pop-ups via Task Manager.
So what kind of pop-ups is he seeing? They can't be web browser ones - even IE blocks those these days; and they'd have a standard Windows "Close" widget attached so he could just click on that to close it.
So it's got to be something internally generated, which suggests malware. Except what kind of shit-tier malware lets you close it via Task Manager?
The answer, I think, is that he's got some malware running on his machine that occasionally pops up a reminder that it's there. He kills those, but the actual software's still running in the background; stealing credit card numbers and passwords, maybe recording Joe vigorously "exercising" in front of the webcam.
I wonder how long until it takes over his twitter, email and Facebook accounts and starts sending videos of him jacking it to all and sundry? Do you have your daughter's email in there, Joe? "Oh, look - Daddy's pulling faces like Hendrix on the high notes eeeewwwww!"
Fuckin' dunce.
1 cuntrariann 2019-08-19
Surely though, Joe is smart enough to tape a piece of paper over his webcam, isn’t he?
1 The-Cumia-Prance 2019-08-19
No you misheard him.
He said he went to Greek Squat and had to pay thousands IN CASH for anal repairs (he's one of those patients)
1 Magnumdicksock 2019-08-19
No sweating no crying and pays cash for the anal treatment.
1 Bdunn0 2019-08-19
Spending $1500 Geek Squad dollars on a $250 Lenovo laptop may not seen wise, but learning about the ctrl alt delete thing is invaluable in his bovine brain.
1 cuntrariann 2019-08-19
What is Joe doing with his computer that he needs to constantly “fix” it. Joe I would like a log of your internet history.
1 Jim-sucks-shit 2019-08-19
Joe's computer was filled with viruses from all the gay porn sites he frequents.
1 waldodabz 2019-08-19
They make you pay extra to keep quiet when removing viruses from kiddie porn websites
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2019-08-19
Spent those Geek Squad dollars, brether! SKRRT!
1 ellencakehorn 2019-08-19
Literally the single strongest argument that he's not a pedophile.
1 brmlb 2019-08-19
trying to delete those child spit cookies.
1 mvcv114 2019-08-19
It's hard working the keys with Big Apple Ranch sauce all stuck inside the keys.