There are many things I could be doing right now, but I've come to hide from the inevitable, at least for a little while. Life has been bearing down a bit harder than usual lately. If I hide too long all the good that comes from hard work and persistence could pass me by. So I won't stay long, I'll just put it all in perspective and set my heading. I've never agreed with winter. I don't think it sucks the life out of me but slogging through the bitter cold I become bitter. Cynicism is fine in small doses but taking too much and I tend to fall into a terrible funk. That is where I currently find myself, in a trough between better things. I'm not complaining, I understand that its all part of life, but the funk demands to be heard, not so much understood. Spring is on the horizon and for me its more than just an archetype. Unfortunately the winter I currently experience is more than one as well. Man that sounds like some bad poetry. It has always annoyed me how poor of a writer I am. Right now this is all a personal exercise, and not supposed to strike other as profound, but really anything I write seems to come out languid and stale. It's probably my use of words like "really" and "seems" and "quite" and "as well" all that pointless filler, among the host of other problems my writing has. (such as finishing a sentence with has) Oh well, another problem for another time. It could be worse, and by it I mean just about everything. Life is good. I need to push forward, taking my arbitrary ideals to the next level. I've never really bought the nihilist perspective. The "nothing I do matters" bit has always bothered me. People lose hope if what they do doesn't effect the "grand scheme of things" and then they feel useless. It all a part of the human condition. But it really doesn't need to does it? Personal achievement is such a difficult and endless task to begin with, why not just master that first? Getting in shape, working hard, being polite, being a good person, cleanliness, learning to cook, sail, dance, play an instrument, construct an argument, speak other languages, pushing away the small reward now for the big payoff later, reading, writing, helping others, being with other people, love, family, personal finance, planning for the future, charity, surfing, golf, the beach, museums, dreams, careers, understanding that one day I'll mature to the point where I no longer need the distractions and dopamine kicks, that I can take life head on, get through the tough parts efficiently, and move on to better things, that my hobbies will build on themselves in a positive way, that I can be a creative, happy, giving person, that my career will be fulfilling and my life have meaning even if I have to make up the meaning as I go, god damn life is way too damn short for me to putz around the internet distracting myself from those things that are clearly more important. I find it fascinating that the most simple and obvious answers are sometimes so hard to find when I get too far into my own head. I get that this isn't some epiphany, I get that its not all going to work out, and that the truth will dull my expectations, but I don't know, I'm just not a fan of being too realistic, life is short anyway.