He claims to run half marathons in less than two hours, but this is demonstrably false according to our receipts. /u/Ant_Sucks is also a legit runner and pointed how Pat factually cannot run what he claims due to his excess fat and dietary habits.

Patty is currently panicking.

Liar. He's in peak running shape.

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Posted in another thread where someone inquired

Usain Dolt's comment:

The depths of your delusions really are astounding, child. No, little one, I have no plans to cheat at this half-marathon, or any others. I have never bragged anywhere about sub 2 hour half marathon times, because I have never run a sub 2 hour half. That's my goal, which I've been working towards for several years. My best time is 2:15, and yes, that was at a bibbed, matted, and timed race that your "friend" is free to inspect to his heart's content. It will show I ran the full race, slower than I'd like, but without cutting corners. Just like all the others I've run.

Listen, kiddo. I get it. You lack discipline and ambition. You would never be able to finish even a half marathon honestly, because you don't have the mental fortitude or commitment needed to put in the months of training towards even a modest goal. So you assume that everyone else must be cheating, just like you would have to.

As always, the demonstrably false things you choose to believe end up saying a whole lot more about you than they do about the people you're trying, and failing, to troll.

/u/Ant_Sucks 's response:

Pat, I'm an experienced marathon runner, with multiple sub 3:30 marathons and can quote Jack Daniels from memory (the coach, not the drink). It really is an exact science now, and I can honestly say that 2:15 for a young man with no physical disabilities is a shit time even in a fun run. It shows a complete lack of investment in nutrition or training, which have predictable results on race time.

The fact that it's only one minute faster than Oprah Winfrey's is embarrassing. She was 40 years old and massively overweight at the time, but she had done the training so had earned that time. It was the best she was going to get at that point in her life.

If you had done the exact same half assed training but dropped 30lbs you would have had a sub 2 hour time, no problem. The rule of thumb is 1lb fat adds 2 seconds per mile. You look like you could lose 50.

All people like you do is increase the cost of entry for people who genuinely try hard. You keep the roads open for longer, you are more likely to need medical assistance, you use up more water bottles and snacks along the way. Either train properly, or just compete with other fat asses on strava.

Buried that fat fuck in a double wide grave

How do we know he cheated though

/u/Ant_Sucks might have to weigh in, but I believe the general consensus was that if someone claims to have beaten their half marathon time by nearly thirty minutes while having gotten noticeably fatter since, they're probably lying.

Corroborating this was that once this theory was bandied about, P-Titty went on a full-on autistic sperg and filed copyright claims on images of himself, screenshots of his tweets, and even the concept of being a fat failure.

I thought the nickname "Corner-cutting Pat" was due to him jumping to wild conclusions and baseless allegations on social media without investing time and brainpower to think his reactions through.

P Titty has got to be the best nickname yet. Ribs.

I don't know what he's claimed. All race results are public information and since his 2:15 he's ran a 2:39, so he's getting slower. Where is he claiming he dropped 30 minutes off his finish time?

Oh OK I thought he claimed to have run 2:15 after the 2:39.

Is there a centralized database to search for results? I only saw the ones from the 2:39 where he finished bottom 9th percentile

Try Athlinks and filter by Wisconsin. It's all public information so nobody is doing anything wrong by compiling it or looking it up.

You hear that fatty? It's part of the rules when you sign up to the race.

OK i see a 2:18 from 2012, his prized 2:15 from 2013, and then his 2:39 from 2016 (I'm assuming he was bulking).

No timing mat data though that I can see

Because he’s a fatty.

He has to cheat at marathons and plagiarize his shitty books, yet is obsessed with shutting down an honest gay musician’s subreddits