r/loganlynn: Porker Patty brags that his personal best Half Marathon is 2hrs 15mins even though this is only one minute faster than Oprah Winfrey at age 40.

Porker Patty brags that his personal best Half Marathon is 2hrs 15mins even though this is only one minute faster than Oprah Winfrey at age 40.

39 2019-09-04 by Ant_Sucks

And he did it several years ago in his early 30s.

And there's a gender gap in long distance running, which means his finish time is the equivalent to a woman's minus 12 minutes. Basically when you remove the gender gap Oprah ran a 12 minute faster race than him.

And she weighed 220lbs when she started training.

11 comments

1 fatprick_s_tomlinson 2019-09-04

And she has those big fucking tits weighing her down when she runs, too.

1 Magicmetalknight 2019-09-04

In fairness, so does he

1 TheDarkFezRises 2019-09-04

Never forget that this obese, alcoholic slob literally challenged us to a foot race because we made fun of him in the youtube comments.

1 JoeCumiaWearsDIAPERS 2019-09-04

I really like the idea that he can't log on to Reddit, YouTube , Instagram, Twitter or goodreads without seeing hundreds of comments calling him fat and stupid.

1 soapmakerdelux 2019-09-04

Are we sure there’s a gender disparity? I know Oprah is a woman, I need a genetic report on PP.

1 PatrickThetanson 2019-09-04

Also, from the photos he’s clearly walking at the Mile 1 mark, and he’s conspicuously absent from most other mile marker race photos. His “official record” is devoid of split times for a race that reports them. This leads me to firmly believe that he cheated in that race and his time of 2:15 is just another bold-faced Pat Lie like everything else in his life. I do not believe Fatty ever ran a half, and if he did he would have struggled with the typical 4.5 hour cutoff time.

Cheaters at distance running events are sadly a super common occurrence, and marathoninvestigation.com is keenly aware of Pattycakes. The creator of that site would LOVE it if this universally-hated LOLcow actually tried another cheat run. It would be great for business after the unsavory affair of Dr Frank Meza.

Plus it would be funny for him to reply “no, child, I’m not in any race photos because all photographers are Nazis” a thousand times in the comments.

1 Ant_Sucks 2019-09-04

2:15 is about right for his fatness level though. I don't suspect cheating, only laziness.

1 senselessdegenerate 2019-09-04

And general faggotry. How many times did the fat faggot stop running to Tweet about some political bullshit?

1 JewishLampshade 2019-09-04

Pat's the kinda guy who fancies himself an expert at something even when he only does it a few times. Changes his oil? He's a grease monkey. Stumbles through a couple marathons? He's a marathon runner, child. Lifts little baby weights at the gym? He's a bodybuilder bench pressing 200+ pounds. Writes a few shitty books in a sports bar? He's the next Hunter S Thompson. Crappy abortion hypothetical? Political firebrand.

1 Leaveitalonesniff 2019-09-04

One of the best thought out descriptions of who/what Fat Pat is.

1 senselessdegenerate 2019-09-04

Shhh, child.