You hit the bricks, stupid.

His version of hitting the bricks is to sit in a shitty bar and scour Reddit all day for shitposts that call him fat.

Adults that still think they’re “special” and “different” are insufferable

these are labels normally applied by healthcare workers to describe patients they might work with.

He has no idea how transparent his attempts at being quirky and unique are and just how obviously crafted his "persona" is. What a childish child, child.

he's also a bad writer

BOOOOO

Yuck.

Says guy who is constantly taking pictures of himself, but never has any that include friends in them. Like everything he writes it's a transparently pathetic statement about what he wishes his life was, not what it is.

The guy also wastes his day spending his wife's money eating and drinking at the same shitty bar instead of 'exploring' the world.

And he embarrassingly tags his shithouse meals with #foodie. To aspire to be a "foodie" is lame enough, but the garbage he eats is so far from what anyone would consider adventurous or interesting cuisine.

wasn’t one of his shitty breakfasts powdered eggs & iceberg lettuce? or some other equally bizarre combo. doesn’t even fall into the category of healthy or interesting, just non sequitur cuisine

He's the type of classless fatbody that thinks "chorizo" in his bar food baked enchiladas makes them fancy, even though it's probably Jimmy Johns.

probably feels cultured just saying “chorizo.” all of the midwest kinda seems like that though. they have no culture whatsoever so whatever shitty strip mall sports bar is in town automatically gets ‘best restaurant’ status to them

Exactly. He's a classless, sheltered rube. Everything he eats is smothered in melted processed mozzarella, which he then showers with unearned superlatives.

went to a local favorite sports bar when visiting in kansas once & ordered what i was told was their “specialty.” a fucking plate of lay’s potato chips with shredded cheese & bacon bits. should’ve been called The Pat Plate

Exactly the kind of shit he take an awful photo of and label as simply divine.

InstagramSuperFoodie. a mass shooting in the midwest would just be a mercy killing any way you slice it. patrick would be a good candidate for a shooter but he’d fuck it up & get t-boned by a dump truck on the way to hooligan’s

It was baby spinach and canned corn with scrambled eggs, child.

even worse than i remembered. 1) peanut butter on toast is stupid as shit. 2) canned corn as a side on any meal is lazy & tasteless, not to mention gross & bizarre for breakfast. 3) pats himself on the back for not including bacon even though the toast & dumbass corn combined are more fattening. that post alone reveals enough about pat for anyone to instantly dislike him

don’t you dare say he’s fat, child

I shit you not but Fatrick took his wife to a honeymoon in Europe and they stayed in Liverpool at one of his friend's house which he met in some toy convention.

And he bragged about going to see a holocaust museum on his honeymoon...how romantic, child. Mr well over 6 figures spent his honeymoon on some guy’s couch so they could build Star Wars models.

that first sentence made me cackle. the boy is a gift that keeps on giving

I heard when

there should be a junie b. jones-esque novel series about patrick. thinking about seeing “Patrick & the ‘No-No’s’ of Visiting the Holocaust Museum” in the kids’ section at barnes & noble is making me laugh too hard

what an insufferable dipshit

Explore the world? Pat barely leaves his house and only rides his girl bike to Hooligans to eat their bland bar food. Pats life is sitting on the couch playing on twitter.

to me this is almost conclusive proof he’s never had “real” friends. he’s had empty acquaintances at most & they definitely have never thought of him as anything more. would be almost sad if he wasn’t such a faggot

Hay Nikki - you are a weirdo because he lost her first gaggle to a real man.

Wait he's right guys, we all found eachother didn't we?

So he's really just talking about Liz, right?

Fat fuck needs a found family because his real one took off in the night with his friend.

UGH this faggot is so full of himself