Credible author, comedian, political pundit, or social media personality who spends as much time responding to trolls as Fattycakes does. You can't. Professionals, or no, nevermind professionals, any SANE person would ignore our horseshit and carry on with their lives doing what they do IF they had any confidence in themselves. But Patso is so transparently insecure that responding to us has become his schtick, to the point we're shaping his identity as a... whatever the fuck he thinks he is. What a spineless flop of man he is.

Actually, ya know who comes to mind: comedian Steve Hofstetter. If you've heard of this jackass, and that's a big IF, it's because you've seen the YouTube vids he posts of himself "owning" hecklers. That's how he frames every clip because he gets heckled so much that his material can't stand on it's own. But even this piece of shit is at least successful enough to be recognized by other B- and C-list comedians. I think he even runs his own club in Minnesota, at least he did at one point. Our friend Patso, meanwhile, can't even make his YouTube vids public for fear of getting called a fat, daughterless failure in front of his 20 followers.

Patrick, all you have to do, dude, is put down Reddit and go live your life and we'll get bored and go pester some other faggot. Can you find it somewhere inside your booze-addled brain to understand that it's not your politics that made us target you - it's your self-righteous and disingenuous bullshit coupled with your simple inability to turn off your fucking computer that keeps us riding your jiggly ass? Just let it go, man. Just go shuffle through your half marathon and play with your Star Wars toys and live your life. You can even keep tweeting your irrelevant bullshit to your 20 fans, we don't care. Just quit being such a colossal faggot.