Lol he only lives about 6 blocks from the bar but still drives there because he's so fat and lazy.

If he were capable of walking six blocks we would both need new usernames, buh-dum-bum.

Holy shit this is the funniest thing I've read in a while.

Too Fat to Walk, Too Broke to Uber: The Patrick Tomlinson Story.

The fact that he pretends to be Johnny Jogsalot makes it even better.

more like Johnny Lotsajugs amirite boo

That is fucking funny. Mr “I just ran 8k, now time for a brutal leg workout then I’ll complete the Murph Challenge a couple of times” can’t even walk 6 blocks to get drunk.

Come on OP, is that really necessary? What would happen if someone where to dig up the photo of his motorbike just to get his license plate #, and then gave that plate # to the police to increase the credibility of their police report? What would happen if someone were to use google voice or another phone # generator app to switch their area code to Milwalkee's (414) to increase their credibility when calling the police? Is that funny to you?

Think next time. This is real life and our actions have consequences.

You've given us all a lot to think about.

TYFYS.

That would be awful. I certainly hope nobody here does such a thing.

This is unacceptable. I've known too many people killed by drinking and driving. Let them know he's jeopardizing the lives of other drivers.