Imagine my surprise when I found out that my favorite author would be there signing books. Yes that's right THE Patrick S Tomlinson. I was sooooo happy. He complimented my star wars shirt and mentioned that he had some cool star wars toys outside. When we got out there he said "So you like star wars huh? How about I show you my pork saber, child." Then he violently sodomized me with a han solo figure while saying "use the force, child" which doesn't even make sense cause Han wasn't even a jedi.