I wish we could send Sam back in time so the other cavemen could bully him for being such a mushy homo

That upper lip gives him away as a cocksucker all day long.

The way it curves in is really handy for forcibly pulling mens tongues right into his mouth, like some sort of horrifying lizard or alien.

The guy on the left is one heck of a cut up; a real card! The guy on the right is like, "what did I get myself into?" You know they won't get through the morning without a few laughs!

Oh that Jim, he’s such a sweet boy! I love when he coyly talks about sucking dicks and fucking trannies like a naughty little scamp!

Careful, if he reads this he will get 7% hard, which for him means he's dangerously close to ejaculating.

Jim looks wild! You feel like without Sam there to say "hey now, come on" through a reluctant smirk the show could get pretty hot under the collar. But it's all a good laugh in the end, and you can really understand why these guys get paid the sort of money that they do.

Amazing how Jim is the one with a healthy complexion

Viktor Yushchenko would look like he had a healthy complexion if he was next to Sam

Yeah, horrific stuff. He's doing okay now though.

I thought that Sam thing was a dirty orange. wha happen?

The guy on the right looks like a character out of a Gumby episode.

Same doesn’t have one single attractive physical (or mental/social) quality.. every physical feature he has is a 3 out of 10 (at best).

As a bald man that can't grow a beard I still would take none of his features.

Looking at this picture, you would think Sam is at least 6’1.. he’s 5’10” in shoes and standing with perfect posture.

Jim Shorton

Hey man, we like to joke around on here but we're not trying to make these guys commit suicide or anything. Let's take it easy.

That's pretty generous. He's more like 5'7".

I’m 6’1 he like 5’4 I legit think Brad Williams might have a inch on him

Found Joes Alt

Sam seriously looks like he died 6 weeks ago.. and Jim is showing the exact face we would all have if Sam did actually die 6 weeks ago.

His face has to be photoshopped. No way this is real!

It came from the Sirius website.

He just needs to go outside for like 10 minutes. 10 minutes in the sun is all he needs to fix it. Maybe a sandwich or something? It's like he just eats toenails all day and lives in a cupboard.

Jim and sam are turning into the shows they used to jocktober

3 years ago.

Sam looks like Dr. Seuss drew him.

"I can't show this to children, it's too disgusting. I'll do one about a hideous green monster that steals christmas presents instead."

Management loves these posts.

Management can suck a fat *cockerel sound effect*

We can still say whatever we want about -redacted-

This place is exactly the same as it was.

Nice knowin' ya!

Growth hormone forehead

Alternate title:

"A late-stage AIDS patient and his acromegaly afflicted roommate share a rare moment of joy in their state housing facility."

It would be a really succesful indie film. Even when they are dying and decrepit they can still share a laugh.

Sam looks like a fucking zombie that's being kept on his feet by a parasite that took over his brain and Jim has that look like he just got fucked by a Viking

He saw into the dark heart of Valhalla, and he felt incredibly horny in his boy pussy like he'd never felt before.

He might have bravely fought away the demon drink all these years but there's nothing in the AA handbook that says you can't have a little sxc fun once in a while ;-) And we know this guy likes to live on the edge - even for a comic he's extra dark and dirty.

It's a tough one, but I'd rather look like Sam than like Jim.

I think you're right, but man what a horrible choice. That's like choosing if you want to fuck your mum or your dad

I never met my dad so I think that would be less awkward

Dad is the obvious answer anyway. The two of you could just get it over with in a no nonsense fashion. With your mother it would be a Freudian nightmare.

Push back. Easy question. Fucking either of them would be awful but fucking your mum would be absolutely horrific in it's own way.

We're two guys who know how to have a good time

I wish I could have a successful tribute band (2U)and represent my life off a pop culture (SOA)show while my brother Nana gave me money.

Eric Bichsop biker show on discovery way way way better. Furthermore I like indies musicians who actually work for a living like me. Joe’s alt account faggot please!

Sam looks like the missing Link.

Theu aren't good.

God I hope shitloaf stabs Sam in a parking garage. Just to make the world a little less ugly.

Jim has multiple rows of teeth