He’s been lurking here, I’m sure of it.

Collecting evidence for his FBI case.

The subpoena is coming!

I take sandy canes lawsuits more seriously.

She’s suing us too

Nigga got the receipts!

I don’t want that giant cabbage patch talking to us.

He's here. He reports threads about him sometimes.

Last time he poked his fat toddler head out he got pretty thoroughly trounced.

How long have we been at Joe? Give it like a half a decade and Pat will be here. Which will be lucky for us because Ant and Joe will probably be dead by then.

We ran him off of here long ago. Hey u/patrickstomlinson what's it like being a fat fuck, talentless, queer?

You left out cuckold. Never forget his humiliating inability to hold onto his wife.

You didn't run me off of anywhere, child. I have seldom ever used reddit, exactly because it's a cesspool populated by scum like you. And I have no idea what it's like to be a "fat fuck" because I'm not, "talentless", because I get paid quite well for my talents, "queer" because again, I'm not, not that there's anything wrong with being queer, my terrified little homophobe.

You are fat. Not morbidly obese but you certainly look like a big fat baby. You are also talentless and need to stop acting like you’re getting paid the big bucks. You live in a shithole and your writing is fucking terrible. The queer thing I’m not sure about and really don’t care. Just know you’re fat and talentless, child. Your wife didn’t leave you because you’re a wealthy, genius writer who isn’t fat and delusional.

Hey Patrick how is it going? You know with not affecting your life and all?

It is quite funny that this started with you saying you didn't find Norm Macdonald particularly funny...

But because of your winning personality this is how things escalated.

I just want to thank you for making me laugh every single day.

A real snarkfest.

Tubby hack.

People in your industry HATE you. You will never advance. Not only because your writing is amateurish and not fit to market but because you are a hubristic asshole and editors never forget. And you've brought it all on yourself, fatso. /u/CommodorePawsey

You can lie to yourself about having talent, you can lie to yourself about being straight, but you're not going to sit there and pretend you're not fucking fat. You are overweight. This is not open to debate.

This is libelous treachery committed against our humble community. I'm documenting your lies and you will be subpoenaed, child

You have dozens of posts dude. How does that qualify as seldom?

Can't read dates, huh sweetie?

I can read the ones where you post pictures of yourself with "jokes" overlaid, a whole lot of them 3 years ago. Was that year an anomaly? You were desperately promoting yourself frequently 3 years ago. How is that seldom?

Patrick,Patrick,Patrick....You're somehow always in the know about what's being written about you on reddit...You even comment on it on other social media...So you're def here.

C'mon you lurker...Just admit it.

No, but I bet you eat a lot of them! Dates, that is. Because you're fat.

You do realize we hate you because you're afraid of a red hat to the point where you justify violence against women who wear one, right?

You do realize you had a chance to actually have a discussion with Shapiro about the flaws in your "anti abortion" puzzle and instead, you blocked him and said he was inept at understanding a simple tweet?

You do realize how embarrassing it was for you to declare you could identify "nazis" going to worldcon to the point where everyone called you a psycho? So you resorted to calling people child instead of explaining your reasoning.

You do realize you got so upset that we had a couple days off from you to mess with Joe that you came here demanding more attention, right?

You see Pat, the reason we love you is because your response will be short and pointless, much like your life. It will include insults and no amount of time and effort placed into defending your beliefs which I feel, at this point, you really believe in nothing but your own ego.

That's why instead of being able to point out which constitutional amendment was violated that not only warranted but demanded impeachment was impossible and you devolved into quickly calling a veteran and teacher a child instead of answering.

You throw out your opinions like God and never defend them, you just call people names and block them.

I haven't even gotten to the part where you tell people you're married to Niki (who is a saint btw already working on her second company and working 100 hour weeks) when we all know you're not and leeching off her success.

Niki is a real writer and a real hard working American you take advantage of and to "losers" like us, it's disgusting.

driving up to milwaukee right now to stuff a garfield phone completely in your ass. ready them cheeks, tomlinson

Daily reminder that this is how Fatrick gets paid for his work

Prop up a cage with a stick and a string tied to it. Under the box place a plate with some rubbery scrambled eggs, shitty canned corn, and some raw spinach leaves as bait.

Breakfast of champion cocksuckers.

He's here collecting receipts.

He has a reddit account. It's pretty old but never got much attention because he's a failure. He posted here a bit in the beginning but got frightened and ran away like a fat child.