You mother-fucked me you scumbag! You better undo what you did right now or I will talk about this on the radio show that I play third mic too!

"jimmy's upset, jim. what's the matter?"

"*opens eyes like an owl* nothing man, i'm genuinely fine, i just fucking, HATE.. when companies blah blah blah *goes on an unfunny rant about some min wage receptionist*"

"kenny i'm fucking STARVING man, where's the interns with MY eggs?"

I wanted to carve his eyes out with a rusty spoon when he spent 30 minutes whining about his gym not selling large smoothies anymore. He even wrote a letter to management go start a family you freak.

yeah it was ridiculous, even if you really were that pissed off, who the fuck wants to hear about it? i hate him, more than joe and fatrick, not as much as sam though

Her Majesty wrote a letter about the smoothie cups not being large enough. What a twit.

Yet will lose his own shit if someone calls in with a legit complaint about there being too many wrestlers on the show.

Does he say “the show has passed you by”?

Sam did.

Or shuts down and ignores the fact he stole 60,000 dollars from his fanbase.

God forbid a multimillionaire can't buy a medium and small instead to get his large treat.

He's a big ol' scotch girl.

The letter Jim wrote management in it's entirety (he read it on-air):

Dear Some Guy & Some Other Guy,

I wanted to express my frustration at the recent decision to take away your 24 oz vegetable drink option at the juice bar at the location. I understand this will seem like a minor point but it’s decisions like this that drive customers crazy. I am a member of the club. In-between my membership fees, my training sessions and the food, I spend a decent amount of money at your club every month and I feel like you’re just trying to squeeze a few extra dollars out of me and I resent it. There are zero reasons not to give the customer that choice unless you just wanted to raise the prices of your medium drinks. I would like to respectfully request that you reinstate the option for the 24 oz vegetable drink since it still exists for smoothies. I’m a good customer and I’d like to make that choice for myself. Thank you for your attention in this matter.

James Norton

What a psychopath Lmao I forgot it was the small option being removed just buy the bigger one and throw out the rest, Sirius can take the hit.

Or just drink more vegetable juice, I mean how many calories can be in that?

What a fucking piece of shit. How the hell did a think this guy was some kind of brilliant radio comedy line sniper? I can never trust my own tastes again.

He's a sociopath. They have a tendency to go off on the slightest inconvenience. That's Jimmy to a T. He takes it as a personal affront. What a drama queer.

Better yet don’t.

"opens eyes like an owl" is one of the best things anyone has ever said about him

thanks, i'll have a patreon up in the coming week haha, so remember to hit like, subscribe and maybe donate what you can x

Somebody get this guy reddit gold!!

HA! no need for that!

silver will do

I’d love to see the police escorting Jim out of his apartment, beating him with batons and spraying mace in his face

That last part put a smile on my face

Is there alcohol in that mace? Im a recovering alcoholic

I won't let you destroy my sobriety you cretin

No alcohol but it’s filled with salt, and therefore sugar as well.

Why not call it salt spray then?

He’d probably would want that too, the sick fuck

I sincerely hope that one day Jim opens his safe deposit box and there's no hard drive; just a receipt for seized evidence from the NYPD.

He walks out of the safe deposit box room to find the lobby filled with police like in Breaking Bad.

“Hey.”

“Hey?”

wouldn't be surprised if the hard-drive is just another lie, like the alcoholism and fetishes, that he told to sound edgy.

IIt's not a lie, it's worse. It's a backup of his best tranny material.

And his useless photo collection that no one will care about when he dies because the whole thing was a lifelong meaningless narcissistic exercise that just bother a bunch of people who are never left alone.

It's useless because he can't color-code them.

I'm going to need some context here.....

Jim used to brag about keeping his old hard drives in safety deposit boxes. And he would say (very genuinely) that there was no child porn on them. He just felt he needed to keep them there.

Why not just get an external SSD and archive there, put in fire rated safe at home?

but what do I know, I'm just a regular Joe. I have my container of coffee, my wheat bread sandwich, my boss is on me for this, my wife is up my ass for that, my kids got a hand in one pocket, the government in the other. I go to work, punch a clock and every other Friday have a cold one at the Union bar with the fellas.

I don’t know, can you get SSD equipment into the city?

man i dont know man, they are muthafucking me man. I dont want to say anything until I know the whole story, and even when I know the whole story i will stay opinion-neutral as to not burn any bridges I may need on my road to more low-level mediocrity.. so yeah, whatever I guess, so trannys huh?

Real salt of the earth type of guy

his mother, a saint on ert! god bless her.

I love regular joe.

Thanks... I had forgotten he talked about those...

Guys, he has terabytes of hilarious standup bits, show prep material, and chip chipperson cartoons that he needs to keep safe from the public. Enough with the conspiracies already

Don’t forget when he would get rid of phones and hard drives he smash them with a hammer and soak them in water before throwing them away. Totally not a thing a Gary Glitter would do

Even non-pedos should do that. I used to buy discarded phones and harvest the information.

I used to buy discarded phones and harvest the information.

Ok Boris from Goldeneye.

Guy is a real slughead

Jims password hint: i sit on it, but i cant take it with me..

That’s not even a good way to delete your data. He probably just broke the screen and some useless cards but left the flash drive recoverable.

He’s a strange fella

Don't forget - before soaking the phone in water - he would record a video of the ceiling until the memory filled up before selling or giving it away. Wish I could find the clip of him talking about it.

With the amount of faggy selfies this old queen takes, I bet he has terabytes of videos of himself with the girly male prostitutes he likes.

WHat a fucking stupid faggot. He’s essentially admitting he downloads child porn right?

So does he go every couple of months and take out the hard drive and look through it? Because otherwise, what's the point of even keeping it in storage?

Jim used to brag about keeping his old hard drives in safety deposit boxes. And he would say (very genuinely) that there was no child porn on them. He just felt he needed to keep them there.