I heard he's Dan Schneider's biological son

No one would mistake him for anything but an eating author.

I was intrigued by the title "Eating Authors: Patrick S. Tomlinson" and found http://www.lawrencemschoen.com/plugs/eating-authors-patrick-s-tomlinson/

Fatrick is asked by some interviewer what his most memorable meal was, and the pudgy windbag gives a six-paragraph essay about a steak he had.

Also, he is described as somebody who "competes in half-marathons and triathlons..." That explains that renowned runner's body of his!

Anthony Bore-dain

Adam Bitchman.

He sells insurance. Lol.