They should make on with a couple extra chins so it's more accurate.

this belongs in r/iamverybadass

Or r/morecockplease

Big Guy Oakerson

Big Jay Oakerson’s name is just too easy to spin.

Faggot Empire Nigger Oakerson. Hey youre roight.

Pie Fawkes

Guy Fawk yeah

Ugh. The Norton fans always have to ruin it.

Agreed Norton has literally not said a single funny thing in the entire history of being on radio

No baby noises jerky

Remember remember, when you last saw your member, and you could reach it under your gut

Robert Cakesby.

The glasses over the mask really make the scene.

Nice wimpy eyes, you soy-soaked tub of shit

Expect us..... to eat any leftover pizza

The word on his shirt is very fitting

Nice giant gut, stupid.

V for Velveeta

half court swish

You know what dude

Nah man this guy seems like a badass, just look at the mask, so mysterious.

Look at the stain on the zipper right below his pockets.

That's a cum stain if ever I saw one.

I'd wager that it's some kind of pastry frosting. Or mayonnaise.

Fat faggot.

Anonahippopotamus

Faggot is only 1/20th of this land whale’s problems

How does that even happen? I'm 6'2 and have been around 210-220 since I was 25ish. Last year had very stressful time regarding work and family stuff. Also got an unrelated injury so couldn't work out for 3-4 months and was eating too much. Crept up to 250. Felt like shit, lethargic etc. Immediate diet and exercise, got back to 215 in about 5 months. How does someone let themselves go to that extent? That guy's got to be pushing 400 like Bob Kelly

How does that even happen?

ruizing

It happens by only eating calorically dense food for every meal and never breaking a sweat. I'm the same height and back when i was driving for work I would just eat fast food and sit on my ads all day and gained 20 lbs in a month. Its crazy how quickly that shit catches up with you

Yeah, I get that. I was eating a lot of burgers and shit when I put on weight, also eating big meals late at night as would often get home from work at 9.30/10. But how does someone let it get past a certain point? Like if you can't see your cock or bend down to tie your shoes wouldn't it motivate you to do something?

I actually kind of feel bad for the people that get to 500 pounds and then turn it around and lose the weight. The damage is already done and their bodies are fucked for life. I had some bad years with pills and booze and thankfully I didn't have to have 11 skin surgeries after I stopped being a degenerate.

How much money did norton take from you, sir?

UPS driver, so a slight social class above long haul truckers

Food addiction is like drug addiction except there's no early romantic period where it's all fun and you're partying and fucking whores all night. You feel like shit pretty much all the time, and you get fatter and fatter, and feel shittier and shittier, mentally and physically. But stopping requires you to acknowledge your issues that have led you there and putting the work in to reverse it. A very wise man once said "Food addiction is a real motherfucker, man."

He was likely fat as a kid and is well into his adulthood now. Not to make excuses for the tub of shit, but it's very difficult to unlearn behavioral patterns and coping mechanisms you've depended on since you were a child. He likely never developed proper or healthy coping mechanisms and is in a state of arrested development.

Nice developmental psychology, stupid.

Nice thoughtful and likely accurate analysis, stupid.

That sort of careful consideration has no place here.

Uhhhh, here’s the thing, ok? Now listen to me: It’s addiction, so, ya know, first of all, it’s uhhhh...

I haven't had a drink or drug in my bawdy for 29 yearsh, I'm I'm a father to 4 beautiful daughters, I gotta great life....and I'm gonna be performing at the Olive Garden on Friday.

Does Vos have 4 daughters?

Very irregular on this sub to “get real” and not be downvoted to Hell. It helps confirm my suspicion this sub is 80% fatties

WHAT, TOO REAL!?

PAHAPS MOAH DAN DAT

Yeah must be brutal to stop eating food. Try drugs where your brain stops producing dopamine and you chemically are forced into depression and anxiety. I'm sure food can be hard but it doesn't compare to drugs. Stop eating food stupid. Say stop doing a heroin addict and theyre literally unable to function and go through absolute hell for weeks or months and that's to quit. When you quit food you start to feel better. Nice addiction stupid.

Artie Lange can't quit food or drugs.

I was literally addicted to heroin and meth for years. Nice preaching to the choir, stupid.

Idk, why not just eat normal portions of food? Maybe it’s easier said than done but if eating excessive amounts of food makes the person feel like a piece of shit both physically and & mentally then I don’t understand the motivation besides being a self hating depressing man who has given up on life. I’m not a man who has a lot of self control, I’ve pretty much done whatever I wanted my whole life without thinking about consequences, too much drinking & too many drugs but that was a blast & when it came time to reel it in a regained enough self control where I still can indulge without going on a 4 day bender. I’ve worn a size 31” waist since my late teen & never weighed over 170lbs at 6’ tall my whole life, not because I watch what I eat because I don’t, it’s because I like to eat good food which isn’t fattening like garbage fast food which not only tastes like shit but is unhealthy for you & once I’m full that’s it, no more motivation to eat another bite. Not trying to be a dick but what’s so hard about not overeating & trying to eat something higher quality than Toco Bell?

being a self hating depressed man who has given up on life.

That's it dude. Got skinny, life still sucked, just fucked more. Even hate fucking. Might as well eat.

It’s life & life only my man, you gotta try to make the best out of it regardless of how bleak it may appear at times because the alternative is just eternal nothingness.

I watch “my 600 pound life” and almost every single one of them was raped as a kid. I assume the couple of them that weren’t are lying about it

The best diet: not being cute enough to be raped as a child

How many of them sucked cock for a steak?

Never underestimate the power of human acceptance with being out of shape to the point where their survival rate is extremely below average. There is a comfort in having that constant depression.

It's easier than putting in the work to turn it around.

There is a comfort in having that constant depression.

jesus....nice commiseration, stupid.

If your entire being is that of a fat/addicted/loser depressed slob, it's like your ego sabotages betterment. The idea of a healthy existence is so foreign, it's like you'd have to kill "yourself" so some other person will be happy in the future. You're miserable now, but at least you're you.

Stop humble bragging, you still waited 'til you were 250 before doing something about it. For a lot of us, that makes you as lazy a pig as this guy. I'm the same height as you and 200 is where I start doing something about it. Not 250.

We're all someone else's bitch, so quit acting like you're better than this guy. 250 is nothing to be proud of under any circumstance unless you're 7' tall.

Wasn't proud of it that's why I did something about it. Was shocked when I saw the scales.

Maybe you're just lanky or a drunk or something. I used to row competitively and spent a lot of years in the boxing gym so 210-220 is muscle weight. How's that for a humble brag sweetheart

You're still a fat lazy fuck, no matter how much you try to humble brag about someone else being worse.

Fuck you.

Come now Abe, let's not quarrel. Your comments sometimes make me chuckle.

I think we can agree that we're both queers for bickering over who weighs what.

No one's bickering, I called you a fat fuck and you tried telling me you're not but the other guy is.

I stand by my assertion that anyone who lets themselves balloon to 250 lbs is a fat fuck who shouldn't be commenting on others being fat fucks.

Say fat fucks again

What can I say? When you're right, you're right. It was disgusting but, in my defence, I was dealing with a level of stress that you can't imagine and will almost certainly never have to face. Most people would have drowned themselves in drink or just had a total breakdown. So glasshouses.

And I lost it pretty quickly, so of course I'm better than the guy in the picture. And I'm not a poor alcoholic who watches gay wrestling, so I'm better than you too.

I'm 80lbs, buster

Eat a goddamn sandwich.

Well I never

I'm sorry, I was way outta line.

Thank you, but in the meantime I did in fact follow your advice, so we're both doing well.

Nice lack of muscle, stupid.

I was almost 300lbs at my heaviest, honestly I just didn't give a fuck.

The day before turning 32 I started getting really sick. Hands and feet went numb, couldn't balance properly - after a couple days I went to the hospital. They admitted me immediately for testing, and over the next 5 days I learned that I had disease in 6 organs.

-Fatty liver disease -Kidney disease Type 2 diabetes -Central sleep apnea -Something unknown was attacking my spinal cord causing damage/lesions -Something unknown was attacking my brain causing damage/lesions -Inflammatory bowel disease (I knew about this one)

Neurologist walks up to me with the report from the MRI. First words out of his mouth are "you need to lose weight", and then goes on to explain how all of this shit can be reversed if I stop being a dumbass and cut out carbs and sugar.

The 5 days I was in there I was on a ward for diabetics who had fresh amputations. 50 year old guy in the room with me had 3 toes taken off the day before, and he has his wife bring him KFC and donuts every day he's in there.

Long story short, I listened to the neurologist. Cut out all carbs and sugar. He was absolutely right, neurological symptoms went away after a week, and after 2 months the rest of the organs went back to where they should be. That was 3 months ago, I'm down 60lbs now total. One reasonable meal a day, no sugar, no carbs, no cheating.

To all the fat fucks out there reading this, put down the donuts stupid. It's really not hard. They're going to kill you and it's going to hurt the entire time you're dying.

Well done mate.

Kill yourself. No one cares. Take that story to a feel good subreddit.

You're an unrepentant fat fuck, aren't you?

That doesn’t have to be the case. I lost 60 pounds over the course of 18 months and am now 6’0 175. I know how hard it is. But the post he was making fun of also made me cringe because this isn’t rAwwwwww. I can lose weight and not get emotional about “my journey” on social media

I’m 5’11 and 165lbs, so no. I’m not a disgusting fat body. If anyone should be targets of terrorists, it’s the obese.

Translation: 5’8 and 190 lbs.

My dick is 5’8 and 190lbs

I see where you’re coming from but it wasn’t so bad. Any post like this on a feelgood sub would be way more dramatic and faggoty, this dude just simply told his story without any emotional expectancy and that’s fine.

This. Lose the weight. No need to be a faggot about it.

Why'd you say "this" then, faggot.

Because I am a faggot. What's your excuse, faggot?

My excuse is that you're a faggot. Duh.

Congrats man. I cut out sugar and carbs for the month of January; lost 26 pounds. Ate nothing but meat. Felt great. Found myself OMAD fasting without even trying. It’s crazy how bad that shit is for you. Only thing is, I was buying expensive meats. The money ran out quick, and I found myself eating carbs again. Gained like 10 pounds back… Starting back on it next month.

I’m always surprised at how good even salad tastes when it’s my only meal a day.

I'm fat but I love salads. Of course I like it best with all kinds of dressing and croutons and bacon bits so I'm a fuck boi

What about if I'm the same as you but I drank 70,000 casks of whiskey? Should I even bother?

Whisky has no carbs or sugar and moderate a moderate amount is fine. I've been a problem drinker for the better part of a decade, reducing alcohol consumption was the hardest part of all this.

When carbs and sugar are cut out you get drunk a lot easier though so it kinda balances out.

I eat because I’m depressed but depressed because I’m fat. Vicious cycle of double whoppers with cheese

You skip the "diet and exercise" part.

Sometimes I wonder if being that fat would help in a fight. Yeah you get winded, etc., but your opponent still have to deal with 300 lbs, which is more than a UFC Heavyweight

Theres so many types of fat. Theres the soft, blubbery, useless piece of shit fat that gets winded walking to the mailbox. And then there’s Butterbean/Roy “Big Country” Nelson type “fat” that actually have muscles under a layer of fat. NFL lineman are fat fucks but some can run 10x faster than I can.

Nice Artie Lange pants, stupid. Expoct us.

VRock Army Nigga!

Remember Remember

When I used to be slender

"I am a member of Anonymous. Does anyone have anything they want to say to me?"

"Yeah, put down the fork!"

DUUDE, ya got your V. BOOM ya got yer vendetta Dude

Fat Fuwckes

That stupid stangel playing dress up again

Guy Fawkes wanted to overthrow the English government...

And install a Catholic Queen Elizabeth. (James' nine year old daughter)

Nice stupid, stupid.

He was trying to get rid of pretenders on the throne.

Tim Dillon isn't fooling anybody

Remember remember to never be slender.

...unless you're actively trying to overthrow the government, in which case thank you for being better than most people that just sit there.

Haha faggot

duncecap

These people are usually cripplingly autistic and rely on their parents to survive. The thought of them living in a government free world is hilarious - they wouldn't survive a week.

Which is why I make a distinction between the two.

Robert Kelly wears a mask

That’s Artie Lange

(Eaters) Anonymous

My friend Walton wore a mask like this

Very slimming.

I bet the inside of that mask smells good

The guy in the background has to hold onto the wall to escape his gravitational pull.

He's a fatgut

It’s funny that he’s covering his face because everyone already knows exactly what his face looks like. Glasses, shitty beard and squinty eyes from the fat on his cheeks.

Remember remember, the Walmart Super Center

You know what dude? You got your 4chan, you got your moms basement and BOOM you're jacking it to hentai!

Gay Fats

I can't recommend Cardio and Intermittent Fasting enough. Even just doing IF; you literally watch the weight PEEL off you. You still get to have what you want (in sensible portions) during the 6-8 hr feeding window (but you should avoid anything that spikes your insulin). I do 15 hours of fasting, 4.7 miles of jogging, and top it off with a sensible combo from Popeyes or whatever outlet, and I'm still runner lean. Even now: I'm starting to see REAL definition on my arms, just from the fasting alone.

All of these fat fucks just dont want to go through the discomfort of the adjustment. For some, its harder than other. BUT IT'S FUCKING WORTH IT.

Hippononymous

These fags were outside of a mall here in SLC last week promoting some vegan bullshit. I took their "Wake the fuck up" survey and purposefully answered everything wrong, saying I think all people should be exploited and raped. They still tried to sell me some shit.

real

duuuuuuudeeee free Julian Sausage

Jim Sterling?

this is good he can't fit much through that it's probably one of the most responsible things he's ever done

I just keep thinking about the "get in my belly" line

Why'd you say "this" then, faggot.