Reminder: Joe Matarese has been trying to sell this ugly thing for $1000+ since May 2018

77  2019-03-13 by ants_ccw_permit

56 comments

It's not free to post on etsy

Pennies on the dollar Joe!

His wife will pay for it like everything else in his life

Surprised she hasn't bought it yet & hired a Mexican to pick it up. Guess the love is fading

NYC style is a cut above. (that's sarcasm for ya there folks!)

It's that famous Italian craftsmanship.

If it sits for another year or 2 it will become antique and he'll get to "restore" it once again

His wife will have substituted his celexa way before then.

"....so I've arranged for you to stay with Patton Oswald for a couple of days"

Badly repainted dumpster-dived furniture hasn't been "in" since May 1988.

Excuse me sir, it’s called ‘shabby-chic’ and it’s all the rage right now.

Keith calls Anthony "The Shabby Sheikh" behind his back.

More like grabby sheikh

Lara Logan has a career around it. I want to smootch her.

0 sales

At least he's got a strong career in, uh, comedy to fall back on!

How is he still loved by his wife?

She gets all her love from black men. She hasn't left him because he'd get alimony for being such a worthless faggot. Its cheaper and easier to keep him and let him have his hobbies.

What a torturous existence

Looks like something Enoch Emery would’ve kept in his shitty rented room.

You can pick up one of these at an estate auction for $10-$20. Painting it to make it "shabby chic" apparently increases the value by 100 times. This wouldn't sell at a quarter of the price.

He really has a Gob Bluth existence, he thinks he’s talented and his family just humors him

Gob has made me laugh, though.

Free Shipping!

That’s probably why he’s charging so much. It’s easily $100+ to ship that piece of trash.

Jesus Christ why do you know this? I don't know who I feel worse for sometimes, the irrelevant losers of the O&A universe or you faggots who are still obsessing over them.

I just bought my fiancé a dresser that is double the size and is naturally “shabby chic”, in other words, real wood with some slight paint chipping and aging stain work. It was $150 and the person delivered it to us.

Yeah that thing can't cost more than 200. Good buy

Having a wife/girlfriend is cool

But calling a bitch your fiance complete with the fancy spelling? GAY

how long you gonna drag the engagement on for?

French is gay, I agree. But the iPhone auto-corrects it to add the accent over the E. What do you own an Android like a poor person?

You're missing the point. Telling people about your engagement status as if they care is gay. And don't fucking accuse me of being poor when you just finished bragging about your bargain furniture. I hope that girl comes to her senses and dumps your cheap ass.

Maybe you’re gay. Ever think about that?

Absolutely not

iPhones are for women & homosexuals.

Only people I’ve ever met with android phones are on state assistance and/or are street shitters.

When you saw the commercials with Bono & the homo dancers, you knew the iPhone was the gold standard for homosexuality & you just had to have one.

Bono? No. It was the homo dancers.

Nice work on the engagement. Does she know about this place? Don’t ever tell her. If you keep one secret, it’s anything O&A related.

She’s well aware of Anthony’s pedophilia. I have to vent all of that info to someone. That’s too much to keep secret.

"How was your day honey?"

"Well my friends on the sub found 8 year old pics Anthony took of a 7 year old and I called him a faggot"

"That's good sweetie, I'm going to Tyrones house for a massage after work, don't wait up!"

All of this is embarrassing.

You made a tremendous error.

Literally ruined a 100 year old piece of furniture. Just let your wife pay the bills, Joe. This is embarrassing.

Tasteless wop

A THOUSAND DOLLARS!!?!?!?!

What is the matter with this man?

Italian engineering at its finest.

HAHA Faggot

The fake worn look that looks nothing like legitimate patina..

"I'm a creative person who is a huge fan of making beautiful furniture out of antique's that just need a little added touches to look really unique and also building things from reclaimed wood."

Oh ya?

Lmao this gaudy monstrosity is somewhere in Joe's life and he has to look at it every day

Just one of the many failures in Joe's life staring him in the face as he laughs at it.

Buy it now and think of it as a long-term investment. Collectors of ghoulish artifacts would pay considerably more for the dresser of the failed comedian who - due to a combination of career stress and medication mismanagement - brutally murdered his family.

Description Ijust restored this antique dresser and mirror that is from the early 1900's. It has also recently been distressed painted by me in a shabby chic style. Contact me if you are interested. It's in excellent perfect condition.

I'm gonna offer him 90 bucks. See how desperate this faggot really is.

Lol idiot

Why do so many of you faggots know the term "shabby chic"?

God I hope the Northeast US gets nuked.

Excuse me sir, it’s called ‘shabby-chic’ and it’s all the rage right now.